Wednesday, April 16, 2014

I Thought 'On The Rocks' Meant 'In Trouble'

Herr D assures me that this is NOT a real
product. He designed this advertisement
on to make people think.
He says his motto is "Think and thrive."

Observing a large number of people feeling badly in the mornings got me asking questions again. I put on my EDGAR suit, slipped onto a boat, dried off, and went to speak to a group of people who seemed even worse than most I've seen recently. They talked to me quite openly.

My field research, interviews, and reading suggests to me that the term 'hung over' describes the way people hang over the edges of boats when feeling sick. I also learned that apparently the consumption of alcohol has a drying effect on human bein people and causes headaches, nausea, etc. This disturbs me greatly.

The use of various things to dry out people is the proper beginning for mummification or making shrunken heads or preparing dead tissue for forensic study. Since none of those are included in my goals, I'm going to have to encourage people to have fun by playing with water guns instead. Some very helpful online merchants have informed me that water guns are inexpensive, readily available, and are "great fun for everyone." When I returned and suggested this to the small group of men, one of them looked up and said, "the wetter the better." I was very pleased that my message was so well received. The men even seemed to enjoy a placebo effect, smiling more while they thought about doing the right thing.

How many of you have regretted not taking good advice from a stranger? How many of you have given advice, suspecting it would not be followed? (The men are back, drinking alcohol again.)

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