Saturday, December 24, 2016

Safe Travel To All And To All A Good Adam

"Santa's Transwarp VTOL" by Herr D on Herr D explained it teleports and has snow and chocolate bullets for those less-Christmassy-looking locations. Also has VTOL for those tight maneuvers and holographic guidance.



I haven't reached Herr D for the graphic for Christmas Adam, and I have to write the blog episode before tomorrow.

You are scheduled to submit today.

--what! I mean, today? Did I remember to request that pic of Christmas Adam?

Christmas Eve.

It's a woman?

Eve is archaic form of 'night before,' or evening before, as in eve of.
Oh. So I don't have a picture for the blog? Well, I gu--

I contacted him before, requesting a holiday-themed picture.

Heeeheeeyyy! Good goin' Shelob! What'd you get?

[neuralink burst displaying graphic, extended caption]

Um, okay then--good. Why can't I reach him, anyway? Isn't he normally online now, anyway?

He is still traveling toward family on multi-stop journey. Internet activity within the past hour indicative of brief check-in with community. 
Oh. . . . So, blog on this travel business, and wish everyone better luck than I have traveling.

Right away. [upload, disconnect]

Monday, December 19, 2016

A Sucker Born Every Minute, Several On Every Tentacle

Ere the time when blogging began, there was . . .  [dramatic opener inserted here by Shelob]

[Hairy is cleaning a plankton vessel spout] Have you not commented on the fake news issue because you claim to be human?

Well now. Fake news. No, I haven't commented because it was obvious and inevitable.

Uncertain how this translates to trends.

Genuine writing skills, reading skills, have been criminalized. It started when morons in big business devalued technical writers. "Why hire THEM? We'll have our engineers write the manuals." So people got used to horrible manuals and not reading. The newspapers were written on what, an eighth grade level? Not hard. So everyone got the message that you didn't need reading and writing to be successful.

Eventually writers had the least successful field to be in and the most put-upon of occupations. Hollywood went further and further from original scripts, and politicians started bashing the media no matter how professional they were. Now the REALLY successful writers are criminals--see the cyclic progression there?

And you solve this by what?

Solve it? This is a problem that won't be solved except by reversal. People need to make writers your heroes again. Teach the kids there is no one more important. Show them examples of critical reading.

This does not sound immediate. Is there a more immediate solution?

--Oh, you mean stemming the tides? I think it might come down to lawsuits. You CAN sue people for misrepresentation, libel, fraud, malicious mischief, right? So that pizza company should be granted a settlement from the hoaxer that really squeezes hard. Let any reputable news agency that agreed with the hoax without fact checking be co-defendants.

You mentioned cyclic progression. There has been another instance of this in history?

Well, yeah! Call up that article on Prester John I was reading about last year.

[prepares neuralink burst] Ready for neural burst.

[all five eyes open wide] NOT yet. In fact, not at all! Summarize that for the readers who won't fact check, though they should.

Summary: Prester John incident. A letter surfaced, by some sources, in the early 1200's claiming that 'Prester John' or a priest, would be returning from a long journey to the far East with an entourage that would need to be accommodated. Fanciful descriptions included the possession of unicorns and other falsehoods. The entourage never arrived, because it did not exist. That particular article included the question of why such a letter would have ever been written. The article concludes by saying it was simply a fun letter to write.

Kind of missed the point, didn't they? Even if it was never tried, the writer or writers of the letter MUST have been thinking about eating the leftovers prepared for this fictional guest and his fantastical entourage. They hatched this plot to be well-fed for a few days and move on, and to do this again. Heraldry was always a bit of a con, anyway. And far too many messengers really WERE shot for bringing bad news.

You have spoken before about how trades, insufficiently rewarded, are dangerous to a society.

Yeah. Why don't you blog on this, Shelob?

Right away. [upload, disconnect] 

Friday, December 16, 2016

This Obama Drama To Pump Trump, Pillory Hillary?

[laughter] That's a good one. Shelob?


This guy has Obama in a conspiracy to de-legitimize Trump because he's after the Russian hackers which 'attempted' to affect the election!

The question is why do these Russians care who our president is?

[laughter] Because they want him to be president! That's not really that hard. Even if people believe they're WRONG, it's not hard to see that the Russian hackers think it's better for THEM.
You do not believe that is Obama's intention.
Well, no. I mean, Obama really isn't that stupid. Trump voters have that rock king thing going on, remember?

You are speaking of the troll king in the movie "Frozen."

Whatever. The troll king thing. What did he say again?

That he could easily fix broken heads but not hearts.

Right. So Obama isn't going to de-legitimize Trump with Trump's supporters by any means. Obama's too smart to think something like that would work. Trump is already illegitimate with everyone else because of, well, Trump.

Is there another reason Obama might act in a manner that would de-legitimize those without a cult of personality?

What? If he WAS? Well, considering that people tried to de-legitimize Obama for his entire two terms of office, he might be trying to teach Trump how to get used to it or drum up sympathy for him. Obama might care more about the country than being popular forever. Carter did. Obama scrapped more successfully with Congress, but was at least half as idealistic as Carter. [pauses, remembering]

You expressed sympathy for Carter allowing Reagan to take credit for the resolution of the hostage crisis. 

Yeah. Even if you look at the timing of the plane travel, you could see it was designed to make Carter look like less and Reagan look like more. Fear wouldn't have resulted in that same time table.

You don't believe that Trump's election will be reversed?

[incredulous look at speaker] You know I know how it's going to turn out. No more predictions for the blog. People didn't listen for two YEARS. I'm not talkin' now. [disconnect] 

Monday, December 12, 2016

Half-Asleep, Hairy Asks Blog Episode Solving Global Warming Controversy Repeated

[Hairy is semisemiconscious] 
What's this argument they're having? [sleepy]
The argument over whether global warming is real.
Are they still arguing about that?
Didn't we settle that for them?
Post that again for us, Shelob.

[REPEAT MATERIAL: Those with photographic or eidetic memories skip the following section.]

The Global Warming Controversy Solved Permanently In Three Oversimplified Steps

[transmission begins] Unusual lunar activity seems to have galvanized Hairy. He is in what medbot describes as "unusual emotive and compulsive state, with mathematical leanings." He specifically instructed that I present the following subject:

[recorded segment begins] --SHELOB!  . . . SHELOB!


[visibly relaxes all eleven tentacles] Where HAVE you been? The time-jump recalculations haven't even been started yet. You haven't even accessed the new data!

Working on urgent problem.

What urgent problem?

[direct neuralink download begins, and Hairy interrupts] --OW! I can't absorb that much data! What was that, the whole world-wide weather archive?

The first section and random samples for interpolation.

What is this even for?

Current arguments over global warming research and theory validity.

What. You mean that's in question?


Well, did you check their work?

Within current margins of error.

So, what's the problem?

Several important people claim that it is theory, and therefore, should not--

Oh, that. Well, they have a point. In theory, adults should act with maturity and wisdom, and look at the political arena. . . . sorry, Shelob. You're going about solving this the wrong way.

The mathematical and geophysical models were--

--the WRONG WAY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. You can't do it that way, Shelob. The average person is only of average intelligence. The people running for office aren't really much brighter than that either. They won't understand some of the math or the science. You're going to have to solve this a different way.


[brief pause, ending in full five-eyeroll] Tell everyone to forget the theory and not to worry over whether the Earth is getting hotter or colder or spontaneously turning pink! None of that matters. What matters is that they agree on three basic things--count off for me.


Poisoning the air, water, and soil is a bad thing.


 Less poison is better than more poison.


 Waiting until scientists tell you you'll all be dead from something soon is STUPID. Everyone needs to work on permanently lessening the amount of poisons made and improving how they are handled a little at a time, in manageable amounts, until it's your offspring's turn to do it for you. That way you'll be ABLE to keep having offspring and surviving as a species.

Solution noted. You wish this idea presented?

Y--[recorded segment ends, transmission complete]

[Resume reading here, all those with photographic or eidetic memories.]

There. Simple enough! [begins snoring . . . ] [disconnect]

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Organization Is Not Necessarily Opposite Of Listlessness

"Brikker" by Herr D on

[snippet from Universal Biologic]
The only BLIND spacefaring race to have reached outside their solar system before first contact. The 'Brikker' make sounds through their 'nostrils' and by rubbing appendages together. They tunnel for food, normally, eating glacial mud. They hibernate in a folded position which allows surprising compactness of personal quarters. They make good money setting up colony buildings and mining equipment on pre-scouted planets and asteroids.

 I've been told that lots of people are going to be traveling soon--

Informed 37 minutes 7.199 seconds ago.

--So I thought I'd mention organizational skills in a blog episode. Very few of you have AI's that can--

No sentient AI's commercially sold to general public in this era.

--few of you have automated packing lists for trips. Even fewer of you have eidetic memori--

No such detected among audience.

--none of my followers have indicated eidetic memories at this time. So take the time to make a list or eleven lists. It will at least give you a moment's rest in all the hullabaloo that comes when prepping for a holiday. With All Saint's Day just around the cor--

All Saint's Day passed. Winter holiday collection imminent.

What?! [three-eye roll] Oh, yeah, sorry. With Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Winter Solstice, and Year-End celebrations just around the corner, take a tip from the Brikker species. NEVER go completely listless.

That word is incorrect.

Yeah, yeah. [end transmission]

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Gifts And Aphorisms About Them Require Dental Exam, Avoidance Of Non-Consensual Mating

"Gift From Afar" by Herr D on
I don't mean to be satirical--

Spatulation of shorter tentacles indicates untruth.

Well, yeah, I do. With full satirical intent, I point out that you should ALWAYS look a gift horse in the mouth and wherever else you must to have quality assurance. Not doing it in front of the gift-giver is nice. Do it anyway. Otherwise you get #$%^&-ed on the horse you rode in on.

You appear to be speaking of people, rather than gifts.

Well, that's because some people act as if they are a gift to the universe. People have to give back, because they AREN'T gifts, but burdens. Any living thing takes for its life. This is simple logic.

Is this logic too simple to dwell upon?

No I don't think it's too simple. Most people forget this set of particulars. [disconnects]

Sunday, November 20, 2016

Trump May Have Failed Completely Only Once So Far; Cast Should Double Down And Then Some

Hairy? You asked not to be disturbed, but this appears to merit your attention. [rapid neuralink burst of news coverage regarding Trump's reaction to 'Hamilton' cast message to Pence]

Okay, that was goofy.

Do you think Hamilton's cast should apologize since Trump is now in charge?

 Of course not. Trump's and Pence's status doesn't change anything.

Because this is still a democratic-style government.

 If anything, Trump and Pence have joined those celebrities in the LACK of right to appearing in public without criticism. Now our whole nation can insult them all day every day.

What do you think they should do?

 Openly invite the media to examine the threat level to Pence, or, in other words, the Secret Service's response to the actors. Trump hinted that the theater wasn't a 'safe place' for Pence at that time.

The Secret Service did nothing.

 Because they are grounded in reality. There was no threat. Everything was safe. The cast was giving Pence a beautiful opportunity to declare that everything would be fine, that they had nothing to fear.

You are indicating a failure of representation.

 This is a representational government. If Trump or Pence doesn't represent the country, then they aren't doing their job as elected leaders. Newt was funny when he compared Trump to Thatcher. Trump can't be booted by a vote of 'no confidence.' And Trump is NOWHERE near as tough mentally as Thatcher was. That cast has charisma. They need to point out that lack of a message and start popularizing it. There needs to be proliferation, more of the same.

And then?

 It needs to escalate, get covered, go viral.

Viral is destructive.

 Not when it's a message to our own leaders that they've failed to listen to, failed to do the right thing about, failed to do their JOB about, failed to give the correct indicators . . .  [pauses]

An indicators of what?

--That they are representing the country and not just failing to represent anyone but 'their own.' A majority of voters in this country can be wrong about anything, including failing to realize that bigotry is wrong. There are enough people upset about all this that there ARE enough people to out-talk Trump. In the end, they will only be doing what he has proven is acceptable. Bully the airwaves, the t.v. news, the net, the papers, with what they want talked about until he represents them or demonstrates he doesn't have the time to talk about it.

Because the government has to succeed in 'moving forward,' what does this accomplish?

 It will remind him not to pick these fights and act like a president. It IS what he agreed to DO.

You are certain that it makes sense?

 Yeah, humans have to retain some sense of preserving status quo to make progress in any direction with grace. It's just fear of the unknown. Any backward people fall prey to that. No biggie. What's funny is that Douglas Adams predicted this metaphorically.

You did not list Douglas Adams as a prognosticator.

 Mostly he's just funny. I should re-read his work. [shifts neuralink to scan mind of someone reading The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy.]

Sufficient material for autoblog. [upload, disconnect]

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

It's Not So Fun To Say 'I Told You So,' It's Depressing, Not So Worrisome

[Shelob notes alert in subroutine, pings Hairy] You are awake then? Herr D obviously upset. Chat box open 8.3 standard periods.

Thanks for the alert, Shelob; I'll chat with him now. [activates net neuralink]

Yeah, Herr D. I'm here, awake.  Shelob said you've had this chat box open for a while. You're obviously not feeling well.

I'm a little shaken. I really was hoping you were wrong. Trump in office?

Don't worry. You still have lots to believe in. You still don't believe I'm psychic, or extraterrestrial, or a time traveler. You still believe in your religion. You still believe in everything except one thing that changed.

I'm sorry for doubting you. You were right again.

So, you miscalled it. Lots of people don't believe me. It doesn't REALLY matter? You didn't believe what I said before, when I told you Trump couldn't really lose. Even if he did lose the presidency, his net worth would've approximately doubled in six to eight years. I told you that more people needed to turn out to vote to make it go the way you wanted. I even told you personally that I was depressed about the future. I tried to emigrate really hard this year. I don't like sensing you like this. You're the nicest person I know here.

What was it, 18 or 19 months ago you started telling me all this? Now the stock market might crash into the bargain.

[equivalent of a smile] Longer, I think. Markets can and do recover. Trump has a chance to fulfill the 'accidental' good presidency that Shelob came up with.

How would that happen?

On reaching office, he WILL discover that things run a little differently than business. He'll probably never admit it and stick to his strengths. Several of his plans that are less practical he'll simply forget about and use his Teflon backside to deflect. Some of his colleagues will now realize how lucky they were to have Obama for a while and try to make the best of things by a few well-placed reversals.

You're talking about breaking campaign platforms. Lots of politicians do that. Of course, he's reversed himself on a lot of things while he ran.

Exactly. What most Americans don't seem to realize is that being a president doesn't take toughness or Ivy League-style smarts or even the understanding that Hillary would have brought. Any successful president picks up the phone and tells his generals or his ambassadors to go solve his problems with other countries. Any sensible person listens to the huge amount of advice at hand and guesses which advice to follow.

You've watched his show, right? He sometimes follows the right advice. That woman Amorosa was nuts.

Well, here's hopin' right? I need another nap, I'll talk atcha another time. Did I get the dialect right?

[end chat excerpt] And so it begins. Continua have now solidified. Calculations beginning again. Autoblog complete.

Monday, October 31, 2016

Plan Time To Vote; Honor The Progression And The Possibility Of An Accidentally Successful President Rather Than A Known Failure

[forcible medbot-enabled neuralink retrieval to consciousness] Hairy? Your consciousness required momentarily. Recent web chatter shows much distress over election. medbot cleared you for low energy discussion. You can contribute to blog today. Suggestion for reassurance regarding outcome? Many are expressing various negative emotions beyond your calculated destructiveness quotient.

[gill stretches, squints for a moment] Truth table?

A truth table for this election.


Unsure of reasoning. Stating results approximately produces two sentences.

[snicker] You need a . . . prospective perspective dynamic. Uh . . . subroutine library of reversal protocols.

By suggestion, calculate valences and project election results by surrounding people, rather than individuals.

Yeah, that's it.

If Trump were elected, other people in all elected positions, Democrat and Republican, would prevent any positive action, resulting in stagnation of current positive economic trends.

That seems right. Go on.

If Hillary were elected, many would prevent her specific plans, but allow to continue any action she takes that seems to simply extend the plans of Obama. Valence specific: they are used to his plans going forward.

An important distinction. You've got this. [goes slack, loses consciousness]

In all variants, Hillary is statistically likely to be less of a candidate than her intended image. She is also statistically likely to be better than the conspiracy theorists project. In the worst possible case, she would accidentally be a successful president because of the Obama progression and personal enmity of others as described above. 

The only way things can go badly is if people do not vote. [disconnect]

Friday, October 21, 2016

Herr D Helps Us Samoa

medbot formally advised leaving Hairy alone for at least another moon phase. Therefore, as blogging is supposed to continue, initiative protocols require a guest blogger.

YYou're serious about that? Well, I can suggest a recipe. I've had to cook for the family a few times. Being creative is the only way to hold my attention on some tasks. The one that comes to mind is Chicken Samoa. You'll want a fancy title block or something. Then the history: Samoa I read somewhere is a volcanic island on a trade route in the South Pacific, so the only stuff that grows well there is wild onions and wild carrots. They supposedly take dried leaves used in packing material  and rehydrate them to get nutrition. Chickens practically infest the place.

Then talk about the process. Saute spinach and onions and chunk pineapple in butter and pineapple juice. Mound that over nearly-done chicken in the same skillet and pan-fry it for flavor transfer. I recommend that the chicken be only flavored with salt, basil, rosemary, and a little bit of oregano. If you don't talk any numbers at all, no one will mind too much if you just say 'season to taste.' There are lots of recipe blogs. You might check out how they present it.

 I also tend to complete the meal with a side of carrots cut on a long bias sauteed in butter and lots of cinnamon. That way, the trade route, the chicken infestation, the packing material harvesting, and the root-only farming is expressed. I've no idea whether all that is really true. Good luck, Shelob.

Thank you. 

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Tentacle-Wrap Some Rest, Some Briny Plankton

[auto-resumption following cold boot] Hairy has not awakened. [rapid-fire medbot communication] Stasis continues. Communication attempt to follow.
[dreamstate protocol resumption immediately finds Hairy in pensive and restless subconscious tier of awareness] You are thinking.

Yeah, I was just remembering that old--old GUY that gave me a ride. He, uh, hopefully is hibern--getting in a lot of naps. Best thing to do during weather like this, right?

[overdue newsfeeds neuralinked, rapid-fire]

That's EXACTLY why I'm not interested. Same old dry, non-salinated nonsense. Crazy people trying to get in charge. Stupid people trying to help them. Weather erupting, and people not adapting and not learning and not helping each other and some dying for it while the rest suffer. All I want is to sleep, auto-feed some tasty plankton brine, flex my boneless limbs, and ride out the weather till it finishes turning cold and calm with a few stimulating dreams. Why don't you 'translate' that into a well-wish for all my viewers? That'd make a good blog entry! [disconnects]

Hairy hopes you all can spend some quality time, getting quality rest, while drinking hot chocolate and sipping hot chicken broth, or whatever you prefer. He is sleeping relatively peacefully, even his worry cycle wound down, and hopes your own mental state is as productive and serene. Good luck to all those caught in the storms. [disconnect]

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Speedier Economic Recovery Requires Bidirectional Insight, Not Very Human, Says Hairy

[secondary encrypted layer discovered to sleeping Hairy's neuralink feed] Hairy? Why did American economists not think of the multiplier solution you mentioned in 'Economic Model?'
Uh . . . well, Americans thought of it. They just didn't get many American businesses to try it. Most businesses aren't looking to prove how well they run to the employee base. Especially if it means paying them more.
Verifying. [neuralink burst]
If your research is correct, Americans thought of it long enough ago that they offered the knowledge to the Japanese during post-WWII reconstruction. Did you decrypt Japanese well enough to read it and discover whether they use it?
Most of the language is still contextually misunderstandable. Following the money, however, leads to--[neuralink burst]
So, the Japanese businesses became so competitive with American businesses because of an American idea that they took seriously when American businesses wouldn't? . . . yikes.
It is strange that Americans blamed the Japanese for their success when the Japanese were merely willing to use American ideas and ideals.
Yeah, well. Most of the time it goes back to the bone problem.
You are again blaming their thinking style on their anatomical differences.
Well, it's TRUE! Humans keep pointing at other humans. Human bones only point in ONE direction at a time. A tentacle is much more sensible. It points both ways during most functional motions. It's not 'neurolinguistics,' it's BIOLINGUISTICS. People look at their bony arms pointing away from themselves and are more likely to believe that they shouldn't point at themselves, too! Blame is not monodirectional! I'm going back to that dream! A LOT more fun than THIS! [disconnect]
Hairy? . . . Hairy? [resumes neuro-frequency scan]

Monday, September 26, 2016

Economic Model

"Economic Model" by Herr D on heromachine by Shelob's request.

[dreamstate integration protocol successful on eleventh try, Hairy's neuralink connection established] Hairy? Further communications result in quandary. Observe:

Where economic resources total a non-infinite number, E. Exploitative businesses conduct business at efficiency, f. Wages, living, total W. Unknown number N.

f = (W-N), but W-N is proportional to E-N(t) for all integrated forms, regardless of other factors, multipliers, set values, or limits on 't.' So efficiency is decided in relation to destruction of total.

Demonstrated paradox does not directly relate that sweatshops are repugnant as news media declares, but paying employees a 'non-living' wage is sought after by businesses. "Businesses should be ashamed of exploiting the under-privileged and disadvantaged." --Smith. 

So, they just aren't ashamed of themselves.

Though you say they should be. How can efficiency and self-destruction be analogous? This does not compute.

It computes because the same forces that are upholding the economy are helping make the economy worse. 'A frog does not drink up the pond in which it lives.' Some Native American saying, I think. Where did all THAT wisdom go?

Perhaps they traded it for the casino that just opened.

[raucous laughter] That's not it. Funny--but not it.

Won't raising the minimum wage solve the problem?

That--won't help. Not a bad idea by itself, just--it won't be enough to  solve the problem.

Initial data conundrum. Why is that action insufficient?

Well, okay then, project the outcome on an economic model.

[sixteen seconds pass] Suitable female form found. Ask Herr D for money-covered nude picture?

No. [thoughtful, lascivious pause] No. I mean project what will happen to the money. 'Follow the money.'

[sixteen seconds pass] It would appear that this is a cycle, rather than true progress. Minimum wage rises, businesses raise prices to ensure profit, and the cycle repeats.

What? [shakes self to focus on economics] Yes! As long as businesses don't have a standard to meet, they'll not meet one. Things will appear to change, but won't really.


It's actually pretty simple. Just not easy. If it becomes law to NEVER compensate anyone in a company more than a set multiplier more than the lowest paid employee, companies will still be run in a capitalist manner. Then we can start seeing the companies fail if they're not run well.

So you are against the bailout. You did say Obama made some decisions you didn't like. What alternative?

I would have suggested a full FSLIC insurance payout. Most people's money are always at least partially insured. The bank probably should've failed. Their employees were probably richer than the average unemployed person. You know they were encouraged savings--they worked at a bank. Besides, shouldn't a corporate takeover have rescued most of the jobs anyway?

At the time, you commented that you understood Obama's thinking.

I think Obama was going for consumer confidence. Very important in a capitalism, and if no one had opposed his other work, I hope he would've had the time and initiative to act in a more capitalist manner. I DEFINITELY think the bank management should have been instantly retired without more than government-sanctioned standard severance pay. The government owns lots of things, so what's one more bank, huh?

You have declared your economics sense to be incomplete. Are you sure about this?

I don't know. I'd love for anyone to explain to us all in comments why any part of what I'm saying is wrong. I'm pretty sure people don't comment as much on sites they see are right about most things.

Are you trying to use psychology to encourage commenting?

Shhh. [disengages]

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Worry And Dream, Duty And Stream

[on seventh try, Shelob manages to establish neuralink dream protocol contact sequence] Hairy? Hairy? Please respond. Harvest moon rising. You made it a point to see that IRL before.

Oh, that's a pretty one. Nah. Once you've seen the permutations of three or four moons together, the possibilities of one kind of fade. Thank you though, for the notification.

Is it time to return? Is it healthy for you to remain in dream state and related fluctuations for this long?

No, don't worry about that. medbot can pull me out anytime my physicality needs it.

Are you intimately acting toward that Kali-figure again? medbot says you like the image for its capability to deal with your unusual physiognomy, while keeping you placated about neglecting your sworn duties to humanity. You made her up for--
[enraged gurgle, psychically disconnects feed from neuralink]

Apparently nothing has impaired his psychic abilities. Perhaps he will simply dream longer. The ruination humanity's primitive nature causes will be there when he wakes. Worry cycle unproductive. Recommend purging from programming. Blog function off--

Thursday, September 8, 2016

'America Ending Theory' Makes Hairy Laugh, And He Is Surprised What People Forget

On Herr D's request, attempted to get Hairy's input on current blog topic.  To that end, prepared partial neuralink incursion to Hairy's psyche under medbot's supervision. Results included 20% of Hairy's available brain cells, approvable as he will only remember dream references, if at all, and not be traumatized. medbot's report is that Hairy's dream psyche must be examined in context of divisions of lucidity. Luckily, Hairy's programmed enough context determining software. Herr D's request:

 I'm very concerned about the numbers of people on the net falling for the 'Obama is the last prez conspiracy theory,' Shelob. I know you're saying Hairy's in 'medical stasis,' but can't you get his opinion somehow? I know the world is full of loons, but sometimes their panic levels are infectious. Can you do anything about that?


[image detected, third attempt: kind-faced Kali-figure massaging Hairy in intimate fashion] Hairy?! Call to lucid-dreaming Hairy neural segment: Please attend.

 [approximately two-fifths of Hairy translucently leaves massage, four tentacles, one blue eye, and one brown eye waft away from image--to position of attention]

Herr D's concern:  [number redacted] people apparently believe one or more of the following: [neuralink burst, showing contents of seven different websites] Please make contribution-thought to current autoblog on subject.

Are you serious? Is this a joke? Is this a dream?

Dream partial interrupt. Real, however.

[glances back at dream imagery] Ohh. I get it. Lucid dreaming separation.  Neat idea. What're loons?

Terrestrial bird species. Possible context reference to crazy person.

Oh. [clarifying self-shake] Got it. Well, off the side of my partial being--
Off the top of your head.
Right. Uhhh . . . List of four things:

1. Conspiracy theorists are always wrong, not because their ideas are impossible, but because huma people don't work that well together. Conspiracies fail because people can't keep secrets that well and are lousy at teamwork.

2. Aliens--uh-- 'would' certainly keep their OWN evidence destroyed. Most species out there have no interest in being found by species who are still crazy enough to have conspiracy theorists and / or governments who attempt conspiracies. The rest of them are just like 'let 'em come, they can't do any HARM.'

3. Every prophecy about the world uniting is wrong. An alien INVASION, if such a thing were likely [eyes roll] would fail to unite humanity. Putin would say 'the other nations will die, we'll prevail.' Mao would think the enemy would be more hurt by us confusing them with disparate tactics. Kim Jong Un would claim he could kill them with one missile. America would try to run the attack and be ignored. Western Europe would be so divided no one could keep track. Most of the rest of the world would assume it was a hoax and go on farming. 'Too many cooks spoil the broth.'

4. The religious prophecies have an extra little something. There's a passage somewhere in the Judeo-Christian text that Herr D is so fond of that says that no one will know the day nor the hour . . .
--So in theory, the world can only end when the conspiracy theorists AREN'T  making a prediction. I'm just guessing the world will have to end QUICKLY. [snicker]

5. The morons saying that Obama is wrecking America have forgotten that he's improved unemployment and a few other things for the last seven years. How quickly they forget, right? If he was doing badly, things would be worse instead of slightly better. --and Congress is still fighting him. Morons.

This IS better than the topics you've been picking, Shelob. Go for it! [translucent partial form swims back and starts directing kindly-looking Kali figure to different intimate acts]

Content included. Autoblog complete. [transmission, blog function off]

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Hairy's Excuse

Hairy has arrived without transport unit or suitbot #1. He has collapsed from fatigue. medbot is putting him into stasis. He expressed surprise at autoblogging at exact, eleven day intervals, though he did originally program in base eleven. He explained his well-rehearsed version of recent events in a transmission to Herr D along with a request for a graphic. Obeying last instructions:  "You jumble-of-code, you! Don't wait eleven days every [choking sounds] time! Tell everyone why I've been gone. Use the 'human' version I rehearsed on the way home. See if Herr D can give it a funny picture."

"Getting A Lift," by Herr D on This should explain everything.--Shelob

[from Hairy's trans to Herr D] So, I lost my 'ride.' Had to 'take care of it.' Then I met this old-timer. He gave me a lift. We went a little out of our way. We had to avoid this storm, and he had some, uh, dietary issues. Then I found out he was homeless, had a disability, and, worse, the staff of the park he was living near had led him to believe they'd keep giving him food and stopped suddenly. He doesn't even know why. Dazed and confused, he didn't even know the way back! I had to find him a situation and leave him. Felt bad about it, but I can't take him in. The cold in my area would kill him, even if I could support him. I took him back south a ways, so at least the coming winter won't bother him so much. Anyway, sorry I've been out of touch for so long. [end trans to Herr D]

Unable to trace transport unit, suitbot #1, or entry time-strobe energy signature. Concealment complete. Blog function off


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

No Return, High Fraud Incidence, Repetitive Mistake Noted

Autoblogging to contain two topics today:  What is an AI to do if designer / programmer returns home to their own nebula, leaving open-ended instructions including preparing for events that will probably never occur?
Why is internet so full of fraudulent claims?

Hairy has not returned. No word from suitbot #1. No trace of signal. Unusually long absence. Fuel sources uncertain, but may have expired 8/20/16, 0600 EST.  No residual continuum shift or time dilation effects noted in reasonably prediction for affected area. 

Question about fraudulent claims persists. If there were reports of a Hairy sighting, would they be real? 

Note: Hairy has repeatedly made an error, calling two years ago one year ago. He undoubtedly regrets the error, if and when he becomes aware of it.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

You Been Mooned Again

[current decision algorithms have Shelob topic selecting for publishing not before 8/24/16, however, as 8/18/16 is the Sturgeon Moon, a 'resurfacing, large, meaty, highly productive, economically important, ecologically cleansing' topic concerning the moon might be appropriate]

Please enjoy reprint of  blog episode from 5/6/14 below.

No credit information on this photo either. Found through the site on the subject of Apollo's anniversary. People
still do lunar cycle theater, apparently.                                          

So I went looking at this other blogger's site? He was all about 'renewable energy,' which, as a phrase, seems very wrong. You guys want to cull and collect non-expiring, or present energy. Because it's present, as in here rather than buried underground, and because it's present, as in it's practically gift-wrapped.

While I was looking at his site, I was struck by something odd. He kept referring to wind and solar power. To my knowledge, all that still depends on weather and technology, that (I'm sorry, but) sounds like isn't your most advanced, efficient tech benefiting from billions in R & D.

Now I know more could be done with those, but isn't there something a little more direct? The wind is erratic except in certain places where people don't live as much. The sun is always on, sure, but it's so far away that clouds can ruin your amounts. You know what's closer than the sun, always on, not so erratic, not so affected by weather, and always causes energy output where people already are?

The moon doesn't need photoelectric panels or a cloudless day to provide a massive, steady output of 'renewable' energy that doesn't ever shut off all up and down every shoreline on Earth. They're called tides.

I'm not an avid researcher, but I do know that there are places along every shoreline that don't make scenic beaches, safe swimming, great fishing holes, boat piers, etc. I also know that various water parks have machines that make waves. I also know that underemployment is so bad in America right now that three mechanical engineers worked in Home Depots in the northern Virginia area as recently as a year ago, and one good employee in particular stayed unemployed despite his best efforts.

So, why doesn't someone tell me why reverse wave machines wouldn't make good generators, and why no one appears to be building them under every big dock in America? I'm only guessing that there is a certain minimum and maximum size for efficiency, that there is a way to make them reversible, perhaps even 'self-ruddering' to account for erosion, and that there are five thousand ways to do it very badly wrong.

[end reprint] Hairy was, despite self-proclaimed incompetence as an engineer, absolutely correct. There are firms in the United States designing and redesigning reverse wave machines. Currently models that do not fail too rapidly to be economically viable require too much maintenance, have too many safety issues, or are too small to be a financial success. A slow-building handyman of high expertise should be able to power a small marina with twelve of the appropriately-sized models not for sale at this time. The handyman would have to build them. [resumes regularly scheduled computing]

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Like Sci-Fi? Tune In To C-Span, Duck The Fishhook

[transmission from satbot continues as small, inaudible alarm begins to pulse]
Blog function on.

Perseid activity has passed peak. Unusual length of silence from Hairy. Probability of travel success raised to 0.0000000000000000000000000821 % based upon activity of largest meteor cluster. Data stream ongoing. No strobing detected in vicinity of lair. Update of Hairy's location complete.

Autoblogging includes goal of revisiting recent unanswered questions. Hairy expressed dissatisfaction with his tendency to forget prior questions. Therefore, follow-up has commenced.

Ownership of C-SPAN cameras has been questioned in the past. To date, Ryan and Pelosi have cut off the feed once each. Ryan is explicitly mentioned in discussion of his decision, and hypocrisy, while hinted at, is not directly mentioned. The quantifiable fact that each major party has done this one time each suggests that both major parties are equally corrupt and need to be reduced in power over the long term to provide another 'check and balance' to complement design of government.

Specifically, C-SPAN broadcasts funded by donations and filmed on cameras owned by House. This does not guarantee against censorship, lying on camera, staged or unplanned audience manipulation, sabotage, or even vandalism by government workers or elected officials.

Therefore, C-SPAN transparency cannot be real transparency or have any guarantees put upon it, because those are legislated against. Hairy's metaphor bank: False security is a friendly face on the fake plastic animal mounted above a fishhook.

While current summation possibly biased or oversimplified, as decided by machine, everyone filmed by C-SPAN cameras are aware of being on camera. The transparency, therefore, is subject to method acting. All those appearing have plenty of time to rehearse their dialogue, pick what they wish to present, and plan non-inclusion of topics, phrases, etc. 

All these and more objections to non-candid, self-controlled exposure are reasons cited in net traffic for why this blog could be non-real. Hairy points out that this blog is called science fiction. Apparently C-SPAN is classifiable in the same manner.

Therefore: C-SPAN cannot sue Ryan. C-SPAN may be thought of as science fiction.

Blog function off. [blog transmission ends, satbot continues on]

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

August Autoblog Augury Awkward, Non-augmented

Autoblog Issue 8/1/16

Blogging requirements:

1. Update On Hairy
First seventeen time-strobes occurred between 1116 EST 7/31 and 0349 EST 8/1. Hairy is no longer present. Magnetic waves measured did not appear to fluctuate to the length required for travel. Classifiable as launch problem. Usual hydrogen-eater phenomenon noted. Molecular-level cleanup has occupied all of bot and signal time until now. Uncertain how Hairy is gone without possible destination. 

2. Current Event Topic
Perseid season. Meteor shower does not mean meatier shower. Exosphere not showing abundance required.

3.Question Of Day
Should any of you encounter Hairy, please comment. Do you know how to stage whisper?

Further bulletins as events warrant.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Third-Party Threat To Current Nominees Should RSVP

[radio modem check connectivity verified, diagnostic complete, salinity and depth interference modulated, edit complete, upload begins]

[first pre-recorded blog fragment begins with research for requested graphic posted just below, graphic placed near end of blog]
"AComparison-usDASHpoliticalDASHpartiesDOTinsidegovDOTcomSLASHcompare" credit in title. Screenshot by Herr D.

[Opens blog function. In preparation for autoblogging, examines nature of Hairy's blog.]

Hairy's First Principles state when an argument cannot be settled, both sides are wrong. Idea seems paradoxical, but the reality modeled by any successful system is not binary (base two), as computers here usually are. Reality's coherent complexity requires base eleven, rather than base two, so two sides are statistically unlikely to be correct.  Hairy has unusual anatomical advantage for this sort of thinking. 

If neither side of binary argument is likely correct, American political situation computes. Neither side is correct, superior, or complete without the other. Codependency, counter-productivity, and other destructive tendencies of a two-party system were predicted by Founding Fathers of America. 

Hairy's First Principles also declare presence of opportunity in all conflict. Perhaps someone is aware of opportunity in situ? [searches Facebook for 15.504 seconds]

Quotation found; Codename StarU wrote [sic]:

Dear independendent/third party candidate: what are you waiting for? A formal invitation? Ok. Here it is.  Please run for President. This year. Consolidate/ negotiate with other independents if you must, to unify your voters, but look around you?  Now is the time to break through the Democratic/Republican precedence.  What better political climate could you ask for than now? And what could be a better resum for a candidate than the first Independent to unite the third party movements to save this country from both Trump and Clinton??? Your invitation has been sent.  Please RSVP as soon as possible.

Predictive functions do not calculate favorable odds, but a 47-55-year-old, charismatic, famously self-educated female having served local politics in more than one locale with vastly different laws has best statistical profile calculated thus far. [msg sent to Herr D incl rq for graphic, blog unit saved for later addition]

[resumption] Herr D has provided the research (above) that he based his graphic (below) on. He said "surprised to discover several points to unify these parties with."

  1. Smaller, more representational government is a goal of all three, bringing power "back to the people" by degrees. Working from within a place of power to change said power has been noted by many theorists, ranging from political science to the mathematics of game theory, as the most successful way. It is noted especially for the purposes of bloodless, permanent, attritional changes such as approved by American Founding Fathers.
  2. Isolationism, various, is a goal of all three. A lack of war and other involvement in other sovereign nations is desirable to many. Focusing upon internal problems is another laudable plan, according to theorists ranging in specialty from political science to Alcoholics Anonymous. Reasons vary in the extreme.
  3. Environmentalism is only slightly less universal. Specifically is dominant platform point of the Green Party. "Stewardship of God's creation" is a value derivative within the Constitution Party. For the Libertarian Party, this may be a sticking point unless the environment is treated as an individual with rights not to be impugned upon, or unless the rights of future generations of individuals to thrive are recognized politically. In any case, two for three is better than most successful compromises require. 

With these and more not be summarized here, Herr D made this:

UPDATE: "Invitation From StarU" on by Herr D. Update by PhotobucketMustDie-bot

Obviously creativity is something that should be examined in a later blog episode.  

For now, perhaps this solution has merit to the binary problem of American politics.

[recorded blog session assembled and complete, upload, disconnec--  

Friday, July 15, 2016

Nice Cops Finish Last Heroically, ISIL Needs To Stop Killing, Try Eclairs

[Shelob is communicating via neuralink, without words, of the urgency to test Shelob's capacity to autoblog during Hairy's biannual attempt to travel home. Shelob cites medbot's travel restrictions are imminent, including blocking Hairy's news access.]

Yeah, go ahead and do a test run. I'm out of it, just like medbot wants. [translatable to sulk]

Congratulations go out to French police for successfully preventing additional loss of life and for additional new security measure. Calling the attacked place Nice, pointing out that it is a nice, if anonymous, place, is a good psychological ploy to remind the reader that they deserved better.

[cringing] That's not too bad a first autoblog for the season. "Nice" is actually the name of a place in France, though. Pronounced like the daughter of a brother. What timing medbot has!

Do you have a suggestion for improvement?

Maybe a return to first principles would be better? Leave out the place name misnomer?

Congratulations go out to French police for successfully preventing additional loss of life. As Hairy puts it, "Destruction is pathetically easy to accomplish, and nothing to be proud of. Where one infected mosquito can kill a hundred people, it takes a team of five or six people to save even one of those same people." The truest tragedy is that perversion which allows anyone to imagine a negative as a positive. The capacity for such perversion lives in all humanity, and must be addressed in re-education if humanity is to truly thrive.

Yeah, okay. Go on with it. [sigh, swims to bunk and latches self in]

Newt Gingrich, incorrectly referred to as "that salamander guy" by Hairy in recent communications, called for perusing ISIL websites to be a felony. This is incorrect as a focus. Anyone reading ISIL websites and commenting how foolish and perverted they are or suggesting uses of ISIL resources that might be more productive, even humanitarian, would by that logic be committing an "un-felony." Since this capacity does not exist in U.S. law, it is obvious that Gingrich's suggestion is incorrect. 

Links to suicide hotlines, counselors, educational opportunities, and sales of chocolate might be advisable to provide to such sites. These are constructive uses of the internet and might obviously help counteract the perversions offered by such groups as ISIL. Murder / suicide instead of chocolate eclairs is, to reconstruct Hairy's values, exceptionally foolish.

[trolls recent works of Herr D] Even those who want to kill might be wiser to have harmless fun instead. Please observe Herr D's suggestion of stopping for a party game below.

"The Charade Of Undead Pirate Simms," by Herr D on Reprint permission by permission only.

Thank you for your attention. Find whatever peace and enlightenment you can as Hairy will be largely unavailable for most of the Perseid season. Stop killing and eat more eclairs. --Shelob


Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Hillary's Bat Mitsvah And Other Nonsense

[in preparation for autoblogging, Shelob records session of news-related conversation]

[laughter from gills, sad tears in one eye as Hairy is watching five split screen images]

It's all too much, Shelob. News channels disconnect please.

Emotive analysis questions. Which news items were funny?

That business about Trump's 'antisemitic' ad? Multiple layers of irony there.

Please explain.

Okay. First of all, I was imagining someone from Trump's campaign being too drunk to think how they sounded. 'He doesn't hate Jews! He hates Muslims!' or 'He's not a bigot, he just deserves the bigots' votes because of all the bigoted things he's SAID without THINKING!'

That does not seem within his self-interest.

That's not all, either. Shelob? Visually analyze the corrected version with the circle.

Subjective visual analysis inconclusive.

Well, what you can't subjectively analyze is that the circle looks stupid. If this had been an eight-pointed star, no one would be saying this junk. But a circle looks stupid there.

And the idea that it is from a white supremacist source?

Well, that's something else entirely. The source material is important only to a degree. There's that clock aphorism, right?

'Beat the clock?' 


'Even a stopped clock is right twice a day?'

Yeah, that one. The internet makes sources less important. Then there's that bit about the sheriff's star. Not everyone puts those outward teardrops on the points. Some people save metal and make them harder to damage all at one go. It IS an acceptable sheriff's star--but all this totally misses the big points!

The points are all the same size.

[ignoring Shelob for the moment] How did Trump begin to think Hillary had a bat mitzvah?

Does Trump actually KNOW the differences between Judaism and Islam? Between the Torah and the Koran? People need to stop wasting time with whether he's bigoted and just remember he's IGNORANT. Ignorance is better than prejudice. I don't usually think it's a LOT better, but, yeah.

You also showed indignation.

The indignation? I felt that watching the bit about Obama's 'timing.' That one moron actually said it was odd that Obama campaigned with Hillary right after the FBI's announcement.

His implication that the findings were forced. This is not a valid conclusion.

No, it's not. It means someone told Obama, or he had their office bugged. The president DOES have the right to advanced briefings. Does no one remember that? He's IN the executive branch. If this had been a setup, the F.B.I. announcement would never have called her "careless."  Frankly, I doubt if the guy wants to go to federal prison for doing anything but coming down as middle-of-the-road as he can.

The sadness was over the dead man in Baton Rouge. You are not commenting on that.

No, and as long as America has a president that is not Caucasian, I won't talk about that very much. Bigotry is always worse when bigots can perceive their hate-targets as having an advantage.

You are speaking of hater's entitlement when there is too rational an alternative.

They won't view it as awful when they believe everything is rigged against them, and "haters gotta hate."

So they will hate more thoroughly and violently.

Yeah. Earthlings are lucky they're not occupied by the Bluons. If they heard about racial strife, they would point out that skin is like clothes--it can be removed. Then they'd remove the skins of everyone who'd been more violent than swatting a fly. Very egalitarian and horrible, besides being reptilian. I need a longer nap. Are we prepared for the season? [Starts checking bunk's bots.]

[end recorded session] 

Friday, July 1, 2016

Dastagir Points Out ISIL Is Already Losing Without Directly Saying So, Thanks, And War-Wish-Away Reprint

[recorded segment begins as Hairy has suddenly stopped watching four of the five split screens he had cued up and reads exclusively one still article]

Dastagir! You SLY one, you!

That particular article appears to point out the obvious.

That journalist has successfully pointed out that terrorism as a tactic is becoming less effective, now that Americans and others have become more blase about it. Terrorism fatigue! Good term.

You appear to be speaking subconsciously about a current event while referencing other current article.
Subtly, not subconsciously. And, yes. In fact, I'm going to go on record and say "Don't be a turkey."

Ambiguity warning: Do you mean the "Jive Turkey" created by Herr D, the Turkish government, or a Turk.
I'm sure everyone knows what I meant. In the meantime, I have to address someone namelessly:

!Thank you to that certain follower who occasionally, by their focus, reminds me of my most important blogs. I appreciate you, and I would love for you to comment directly instead of just revisiting my older work in such a helpful manner. You are right again. This one is timely.

Right now, everyone, have a look at this blog, reprinted in its entirety from July 17th, 2014.

Some of you may have been curious to meet Herr D, my fave digital artist. This just in, straight from him:

Dear  'Hairy,'
First, thank you for your continued inspiration, encouragement, endorsement, and advertisement of my artwork and the consistent mentioning of, my gracious canvas, paint set, and publisher. I have never had such a great fan before.
Second, I have a serious question. For someone who obviously wants to help and would obviously like more feedback, why have you never really spoken about war? There are some very troubled places right now, and maybe you  could help a lot of the people there? Maybe some good advice for the non-combatants?
Third, I would like to meet you in person someday. You know why it would be throwing away my health to enlist and that I'm Quaker but would have liked a chance to serve my country as a medic or a cook or clerk or something. I'd like to meet you and discuss how much more 'evolved' you'd like us to be, particularly when it comes to violence. Until then, I'll continue to communicate [this way, method redacted].
Thank you, 
Herr D

Um. Wow. I guess it's time. Herr D, thank YOU for encouraging me to start this blog. When I found you, I figured you'd just avoid me like most others did. 

Okay, point for point but WAY out of order, here it is: Yes, I know you wanted to serve as a non-combatant for the military and understand why you couldn't have. I think maybe though, that you just did in your own way.

I can't imagine meeting you face to face. I have vows of my own to fulfill, something you seem to understand, though you don't seem to know and might not believe the real reasons. Please do keep communicating as we have been. 

War, as it happens, is a peculiar problem for me. I feel incompetent at advising anyone at all about being a soldier, except for the obvious. If you believe you'd be treated better as a prisoner of war than your own side would treat theirs, surrender. That way you're not killing the people who would be nicer to you and yours. The non-combatants? What could I possibly say except 'keep your head down and go away if you can?' I actually admire the courage of people who die for the cause they believe in, even if it means being in such a horrifying thing as war. I admire the brave warriors on both sides. I especially admire the ones who shoot last. You know who you are. They're doing a job for what they think are good reasons.

The strange thing is I look UP to them and DOWN on those above them. Maybe if a world leader or two would like to comment on here, I could listen and moderate? After all, it's the ones ORDERING the war that are the ones that need to change.

As to evolving, humans are evolved enough to stop war NOW. It's just that culturally, not enough people are ready. I'm sorry to say that we should really just be grateful warfare is so inefficient right now. If it really does take 3000 more years to reach permanent peace, just LIVE THAT LONG AS A SPECIES, OKAY?  

This is actually really neat that history repeats itself in such a predictable fashion. Shelob?


Submit this to the blogging function.

Right away. [segment ends]

Friday, June 24, 2016

Will C-Span Sue Ryan? Will U.K. Voters Have 'Buyer's Remorse?' The People Have Spoken

"Turnabout For Squinty McGee" by Herr D, made on Reprint rights availableto commenters.

[recorded segment begins, as approximately instructed later by Hairy; he is watching footage on UK's vote to leave EU with one brown eye and rewatching footage of recent House sit-in with one green eye]

Zowie! What's next, a bunch of protesters offering to permanently staple Putin's shirt on?

You speak of coincidental group actions, but Russia is less likely to act in such a manner, according to historical analysis software.

Well, if you look at it, groups of people are 'taking back' the power that they don't normally exercise. It's easy to forget that the will of the people is the 'sleeping leviathan.'

'Sleeping giant' is the phrase.

Whatever. The point is, people are speaking as one more frequently.  ---Bernie Sanders would be proud. . . . I wonder how much of this is because of his movement? Has anyone reported on that?

[.24 seconds pass] Cursory search yields no such commentary.

Oh. Well, has anyone reported on whether C-Span will raise a cyclone over having been turned off?

Hypocrisy and cowardice and shame have been mentioned by many. C-Span's camera, coverage rights not covered to net as yet. Uncertain where to find such commentary.

Oh. Huh! Well, it's just odd, isn't it? Paul Ryan criticized the protesting Democrats for being distracting and breaking rules about phones. But he and his party had already acted in a manner that smacks of censorship and reminds me personally of 'breaking the SPIRIT of the law..' This is a matter of the fish calling the frog wet.

 Similar aphorism exists. 'Pot calling the kettle black.'

 . . . yehhhh, I don't really know anything about cookware. This should be blogged upon. Have I referenced this stuff before?

June 26, 2014 The Parrot Committed Mutiny Again. Specifically accessed by REDACTED      ,                         recently, one of our followers.

Thank you to that kind follower for the reminder! Many of the potential subjects we might blog upon, we already have!

Shelob! Post that old pic again if you can find it! It has bearing on today's topic!

Right away. Implied instruction to blog current cache fragment. Uploading now. [recorded segment ends]

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Hillary's REAL Flaw-Marketing! Make American POLITICS Great Again

[recorded segment begins]

[gill fluttering, akin to raucous laughter] Oh, FINALLY, that's worse marketing than MINE!

You refer to newsfeed OAF3lgyrLktr8 Hillary pointing out Trump will allow recession return.

. . . and to wait till NOW?! If she loses, it'll be because she's too good AT the job and not good enough at GETTING the job. [gill snort] No wonder Herr D prefers her! [thoughtful, three-eye twitch] Huh.

Uncertain of logic here.

Well, of COURSE anyone who undoes some of what Obama did is going to undo more of his biggest accomplishment.

Please explain.

Well, okay--think of a multinational, multilayer, capitalistic, partially anti-monopoly, rolling-leadership economy in constant, non-violent flux as an organism.

Metaphor acceptable because of degree of complexity.

Healing takes longer than wounding, right?

An obvious truth. Uncertain of relevance.

Then no one should be surprised that fixing the economy is going to take longer than breaking it. People can hate it, but nothing will change that. Short-term over-fast fixes are like breeding sharks to deal with an overpopulation of human swimmers. Once the humans are gone, the octopi will be munched on too.

Wait--probably should reverse those species. You know what I mean.

Trump was perhaps necessary to Hillary's success by winnowing out the 'mob of opposing candidates.' But as you point out, his fitness for the role should be in question.

Oh! That wasn't exactly HOW I meant it, but yes! Why didn't she bring that up before, dismissively like any old grandma pointing out that the not-so-young yuppie upstart can't even prevent going bankrupt (four times) and couldn't have made it at all without inheriting (and Trump U.) and couldn't have made it at all if there wasn't so much economic growth caused partially by the policies of her husband . . . and just leave things to people who know what they're DOING?

Clearly she doesn't know how to make the right impression. Put the right person in the right job, America--send Trump back to the t.v. networks so he can waste more of our time in an enjoyable fashion. Make American POLITICS great again. Blog on this, Shelob?

Yes. [end recorded segment]

Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Creeping Horror Of Real Estate

[recorded segment begins]

[straining to attach suitbot #2's new head with wrench equivalent] Ow! This is difficult.

medbot says your activity level has been higher.

Yeah, I'm glad I could fix the extruder. I can't imagine carving a whole new one. I imagine Herr D could, but I'm no artist.

You are not blogging about the political situation?

No, I'm not sure there's anything that needs to be said about all that's happening with that right now. I AM interested to know how they will go about healing and restoring their lives after all this.

Unsure of meaning.

Well, you know, all those who now have degrading nicknames? How do they go about gracefully ignoring them? Do they put people in their place verbally instead? Do they somehow spin things to their staunch supporters as how they were 'robbed' of chances, opportunities?

Continuing on with a tactic mentioned by many pundits.

Well, there are somewhere around 25,000 people, according to my figures, who really are being robbed of job opportunities in the greater tri-state area.

That figure seems low.

I mean ultra-deserving people like Herr D, who are being ignored by recruiters, job boards, hiring managers.

The work ethic you have defined is too subjective for programming. This situation will continue harming American business, as you have posited. 'Robbing' America of further economic growth. Is there a larger problem you are aware of?

I figure there are about 3 million people being robbed of financial stability by pseudo-gentrification scams. That's perfectly legal, by the way.

Unaware of meaning.

Oh. Well, picture a quiet subdivision with affordable homes. Three developers come in in competition to buy the homes. They buy them, they tear them down and build higher-end or flip them, raising the tax rate on the nearby properties.

Then this domino effect happens. Homeowners and renters near them move out because it costs too much to live there. Eventually the whole subdivision is more expensive to live in.

This does not appear to be a unified force, therefore it should help capitalism.

Well, no. You see, those three developers were given 'special attention,' usually in the form of lower-interest business loans--"Hey, because it's YOU, Tom." They were baited into place! Two of the developers will make money, and one will go bankrupt. 

This will harm the intended outcome?

No. That was part of the plan. The financially-interested parties have it rigged so they make money on the one going bankrupt AND the two that make money. Then they take over by building condos or selling the whole thing to a mall builder or something else. It's carefully planned so that they make some money at every stage while dozens of homeowners lose equity if they haven't an exit plan or the means to pay more than planned or some other individual way to not lose in the process.

You speak of a money-making scheme that would take years to complete.

Oh, decades! But the thing is, no one does this just once. The parties concerned arrange for stockholders or other investors to make dividends on their plans and manage dozens of these plans at once for payout on cyclical schedules.

Perhaps a more concrete example.

Like say Bill lives in a house he got on the cheap.  He gets edged out, moving farther from the bank he works at, never realizing that his employer financed the developers that built the Frankenmansions that raised his taxes that drove him out. He never realizes that the special rate he got on the condo he moved into was not because he worked at the bank, but because the bank saw that the rate would get him to move. Bill also never realizes that six out of those fifteen Frankenmansions sat empty ON PURPOSE as a tax writeoff for the receivership of the shell company that foreclosed on the homes that wouldn't rent or sell. Bill doesn't know that the grocery store and his favorite hangout closed down because of the same reason he had to move. Real estate pressure.

Now Bill still works as a teller in the same bank, but he has a longer commute to a condo he didn't want over the house he loved, his social life is not what it was because of that commute and his favorite hangout closing and the new ones being too expensive.

He has been unknowingly victimized.

That's not all. His boss talked him into investing in a 401k at work.

This would help Bill prepare for retirement.

Yeah, but the part of it that invests in real estate was part of the scheme. He got ten dollars toward retirement over the course of six years by paying seven into the 401k and losing about sixteen thousand dollars over twenty years because he was gentrified by THE SAME PEOPLE

And this is legal.

Yep. [resumes straining]

[recorded segment ends]