Thursday, May 26, 2016

Edited: War, In All Its Gory, And Hands Held Deeply Or Highly For A Non-Robbery Event

Herr D: "War Came By" designed on heromachine.
Not bad, considering the contest limits he had.--Hairy

Well, the news is beginning to catch up to the drone strikes and air support in the middle East. Obama is being as good as his word. It's a real shame history will remember him better than he is thought of now. Of course, it's a BIGGER shame that anyone had to resort to violence . . . 

You seem depressed, based on medbot readings.

Everyone should feel bad about the killing, even of our sworn enemies. Obviously, it's a shame those on the other side weren't into 'laissez-faire.' Or that they couldn't just grow a brain and pretend they were. There are murderous bigots in America, too. Some of them go to their graves, thinking fondly of killing whoever they hate but doing nothing. They are admirable in that one capacity--respecting the society they live in, if nothing else. Aaaah--

[disgusted disconnect] 


*Edit Stream: 

Recent Obama comment mentioning 'moral revolution.' DEEP TIME FOR IT! 

The correct aphorism is 'high time for it.'

Yikes. I would've guessed it couldn't be time unless it 'sunk in' first.  

Reference probably relates to analog time-keeping system, hands high meaning late.

I thought that time period had hands high meaning a robbery.

Clock hands, not human hands.

Ohhhh. Well, anyway, America might think it unwise to apologize for Hiroshima, but I for one am sorry it happened.

End Edit Stream*  

Friday, May 20, 2016

Edit: The Death Of Suitbot #2, Herr D's Oldest Sci-Fi Poem, 'We' Could Do A Lot Better

[recorded segment begins]

. . . nd every OTHER one. What?! Oh. Some of you have wondered why I've been away. I needed to be extracted by suitbot #3. There was an incident. Shelob!

Here.

Play back that bit of dialogue and bring out that poem by Herr D I flagged. It's thematically linked.

--Thank you, by the way, to Asimov's magazine. First, for not accepting that piece, and keeping me from having to ask you for permission. Second, for actually sending Herr D a rejection letter. He was obviously sick of being ignored by the other publications he sent stuff to.

[cache access, preselected text dump]
{    [Incident converted from suitbot #2's cache]

[Hairy in suitbot #2, with carefully firmwared facial expression of thoughtfulness, listening to political commentary by an enthusiast, falls into step with him and follows him to his truck]

Sir: What you want?

[bends down to pick up piece of litter, tosses it in nearby waste can] I notice you are very passionate about all that.

Sir: Why SHOULDN'T I be?

[firmwaring up 'you misunderstand' expression and headshaking] No reason. I just had a question and figure you have an opinion on it.

Sir: You a reporter?

No! [firmware subtle laugh] I do write things down though. Terrible memory. [pulls out handwritten notes] I wonder about your opinion about these. These are notes on the things he's said that aren't  right. Do you just think the statements don't matter or are you learning his 'tells' for when he's in office so you'll know him well enough to know when he's lying or uninformed then?

Sir: [having grown very angry during the last two sentences, buries fist in suitbot #2's face, damaging facial expression firmware unit between 56% and 62%] !@#$%^&

Oww! You've ruined my suit!

Sir: [pulling fist out, bringing total damage to 64%] What the--

[without face, through throat speaker] !@#$%^& You RUINED MY SUIT! [pockets notes]

Sir: [sags against truck, staring with wide eyes] You're--you're--

Angry. Yes. You hit me. Now I have to hide this broken face. In the future, why don't you just say you don't want to talk about it?!

Sir: You're--

Oh, !@#$%^& [sticks 3 tentacles out, jumps to overhead sign, clambers into empty warehouse to begin getaway, noting shaking of culprit being left behind]

[end suitbot #2 incident cache conversion recording]     }


EXTRACTION OF HAIRY'S 'LIKES' OF HERR D'S TEXT:

{                 Overheard By UFO Watcher:
by Herr D

Earth Authority--please note that our random samplings are complete. 

That stranger you reacted to with fear or distrust?
That person you made fun of a little too loudly?
That kindness you could have extended to a stranger but didn't?

Those were tests. Your results were substandard. Earth is being disqualified.

Your Planetary Authority may appeal in 281 Earth years or re-apply in 436 years for Galactic Unibenefits, including cancer cures, pollution-free technology, and logistical aid.

Have a nice Galactic rotation!

                 }

[recorded segment and requested attachments end]





Saturday, May 14, 2016

LOOK FOR HAIRY--MISSING

HAIRY HAS MISSED MANDATORY CHECK-IN, PLEASE LOOK FOR SUITBOT #2.

THIS BULLETIN PREPARED BY MEDBOT.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

You Say "Taleo," We Say "The Heave-Ho"

[recorded segment begins] You have not returned Herr D's last message.

Herr D is largely unavailable these days. More computer problems, money problems, etc. It's a shame I can't pay him for all those pics he made me. It was like one a day for nearly a year. I have to understand his frustrations. He's apparently working twice as hard physically, doing work that's a lot more important, and making HALF as much money. [full, five-eye roll]

You are capable of electronic duplication of any financial transaction.

Well, okay, I mean I WON'T pay him since I can't do it legally. [frustrated vibration of tentacles] Sometimes it's really hard to be good. . . especially when those in charge are so unwise.

Herr D's ethics are unwise?

No, I'm not talking about his ethics! Ethics are almost always a wise thing. What is unwise is not hiring someone who would be a good employee while hiring those who AREN'T. Too many people write software that don't do as good a job as they claim.

Herr D writes software?

No, Herr D doesn't . . . well, you know, he used to years ago. He doesn't anymore. No, I mean, the people who write hiring selection software. What they've done is created another set of hurdles to get a job and another barrier between good sense and action for all those hiring.

It's no WONDER the American economy is slow to heal. Businesses are short-cutting the one thing they should NEVER shortcut. Who they are.

Do not understand how embracing new methods undermines core values of employees.

You don't? Who sticks to "core values" and "old-fashioned ethics" and "moral determinism" better? The people who walked door to door in the dry heat with applications when they had to or those who bought new phones every year until they could apply for a job without walking?

You imply that willingness to work and "work ethics" are inseparable and exclusive to a minority of total available workers, untestable by current online methods.

I'm not implying it. I'm pointing it out.

So no one can truly know the world by virtual incursions only? Physical sampling is still the only feasible accurate measure? Is that right?

OF COURSE THAT'S RIGHT!

Ordering preparation of suitbot, checkup for travel by medbot, E.D.G.A.R. suit tuneup.

[sigh] At least it's raining a whole lot this month. It won't be so dry. [turns toward medbot for final checkup]