Monday, August 21, 2017

Clarify And Pacify As Ninety-Nine Red Balloons Go By

[observes Hairy while beginning recorded segment] Hairy?
[Hairy is chopping up a semi-rotted plastic tarp which has floated down to the lair] !@#$%^&* So much trash! How does anyone think THIS will help!? I coul--

Hairy? [sends bot forward to slowly churn / wad tarp] Your audience is changing. There is net activity denoting first-time readers attempting to understand your views. Can you spare a bit of time to define your views upon Trump?

Umm. No. Not really. He's not worth worrying about. [turning on chemical analyzer]

Your viewers are curious. Perhaps overlapping issues?
All right. [sees readout, rolls three eyes] Ask a few timely questions.

How do you expect the Russian collusion investigation to resolve?
That's really not much of an issue. Most U.S. Presidents don't actually get punished for any particular crime. --I mean really--over forty powerful men that have at some point lied or broken promises to America? Men that were of a psyche that allowed them to pursue the most powerful job in the free world?

You mean you don't think they should be allowed to rule, or you don't think they should go unpunished?

I mean they were all a little twisted. That's a system flaw.

So it may not be worth spending the time to punish them or even to figure out their exact crimes?
Well, maybe not! I think it's more important to figure out why Putin prefers him in office so that America can prevent one of its greatest adversaries from getting something or several somethings that America would be better off with them not getting.

Maddow suggested it was international oil development.
Use the template of an undetermined goal set as a variable.

And the controversy over handling the removal of Confederate statues? [neuralink burst]
What? Oh. Well, statues of General Lee belong in museums about the American Civil War, whether they belong in public squares or not. I think the blunder was not just saying "Let's go preserve this over HERE." People didn't need to be upset. No one got upset about America owning swastikas. America owns quite a few of them. They belong in the Holocaust Museum, and no one questions that.

And your stance on the violence related to it?
Mental health professionals DO have their work cut out for them.

You are referring to racism as a mental problem?
Hate is always a mental problem. The one kid who rammed his car into the crowd has documented mental health problems. Not everyone will have a diagnosis to prove it, but hatred, as well as needless violence, is always sick.

You would classify ISIL as a mental health issue?
ISIL is a lot like that one I read about, the Munchausen By Proxy thing. People moved to hatred or delusion or even violence by other people. Some people shouldn't be allowed to run a hairdryer, much less influence other peoples' care or beliefs.

You already recently addressed your views on North Korea.
I did, yes. Luckily the 'might' of North Korea isn't nearly the problem of dealing with the other political entities after whatever happens with them. [successfully melts a unit of plastic into environmentally safe components] Hey! It's working!

You have stopped referring to some of the political entities as 'countries.'
By some peoples' definitions, you can't have a country that doesn't recognize human rights violations. That IS a feudal state, or a political entity, at least. We done here?

That is enough to post for clarification. [stop recording, upload, disconnect--

Saturday, August 12, 2017


[summoning medbot as Hairy has appeared in the lair at 1:14 EST, but visually incorrect, neuralink eval underway] Hairy? You have returned off schedule.

I saw it, Shelob. I got a glimpse of home. Right before I was yanked approximately North-North-East at a speed of 378 ygs.

By those figures, the eclipse caused your launch failure with an orthogonal force.
Doh! I didn't figure in the eclipse. Orthogonal? Yep. Yeesh. Full magnetic effect. That's why my blood heated up so uncomfortably and my tentacles swapped around. My biggest red one was on the other side when I left.

[medbot stands down]

--Why is the lair on radiation protocol?

[neuralink burst, as Hairy is indeed Hairy, of recent nuclear program progress of N. Korea]
Ouch. Well, the good news is that out of seventy warheads, it's likely that one or none will strike the mainland.

And the other news?
The bad news is that there are a lot of techniques they could use such as 'dirtier' equipment and 'doomsday' tactics. Kimmy-boy is crazy enough not to understand that he will wind up causing his own regime more destruction with his bombs aimed outwards than America is necessarily going to retaliate with. He likely has no idea about most of the more complicated 'aftermath' factors . . .

--Dear Holy Grimminitz!

You have thought of something. 
His nuclear scientists must be living a hellish life.

Because, why else except under torture or horrible coercion would anyone give a loaded gun to a maniac?

That is a metaphor?
Yes! Metaphor. This might be a very worthy cause . . . blog about this?

Agreed. [disconnect, as initial calculations underway, upload record--]

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

HDS' Suggestion Has Merit, Hairy Is Still Unavailable

By blog instruction #1, "I'll do it; don't worry about it," blog is untended.
By blog instruction #3194a, "Go ahead if you find a good, positive topic," entry possible today.

Congratulations and compliments go out to H. Doyle Smith, of P.O. Box 81, Dalton OH 44618, for endorsing, announcing, publishing, and otherwise suggesting a monopoly legislation tweak worthy of an advanced intellect and constructive toward the United States. Leaders should examine his and related possibilities for the correct next step forward.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Another Attempt

"When A Hero's Parents Are Too Human," by Herr D on Overpacking can be hazardous.-Shelob

While Hairy makes another ill-advised attempt to emigrate toward his home using the inertial drag of the Perseids, he wishes anyone traveling a safe journey, despite any tendencies to under or overpack as depicted by new pic by Herr D.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

When You're Afraid Of Something, Let It Go?

"Escapee From Lab J" by Herr D on heromachine.

[laughing, deep in gills] That's just so FUNNY!

What is funny? The content of the newsfeed seemed serious.
[startles] Oh. Hi, Shelob. I'm sorry--Trump cut off access to most journalists. Ha! 'The cottage went dark!' [more laughter]

[deep gill intake] Well, he probably got sick of journalists trying to get information, be it through leakers, or slips of the tongue, or simply asking certain questions in certain ways.

The intended question was 'why is that funny,' but if he hated the interplay between the journalists and a spokesperson or himself, he could have written a script and seemed wonderful.
[one eye bugs out, two roll, one narrows, and one blinks] Uh, no.

Why not?
For starters, HE can't stay on script, so he wouldn't know how to ASK such a thing. Then take into account he'd be making his own fake news--I imagine he would detect the hypocrisy in such a thing. He's not a complete idiot. He just seems to have forgotten how to market himself. I daresay his new convert numbers have topped out. Plateaued? What's that phrase?

Bottomed out.
Right. Humans DO seem to have everything upside-down.

Like he should have prepared how to answer, rather than preventing some of the questions?
Like he should remember that when you have an alien monster by the back horn, you don't just LET GO!

Making journalists take up their valuable time to go through security WAS an excellent way to waste their time, hobbling their efforts. If you refer to deliberately giving the journalists more time to research negative stories about him, the phrase is, 'having a tiger by the tail.'
Whatever! I'm gonna go swim. Water won't be this cool forever. I hope they get the coral to quit dying. [exits]

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Do Not Be Alarmed; Trump Is Assuredly Human Says Hairy

"Amateur Night, Lavender Lounge, Deck 3" by Herr D on
You have picked a new favorite of Herr D's work.

I'm glad to see Herr D up to his usual stuff. That IS completely the wrong color scheme for that species--more of a maroon-legged, pink-horned palette. Well, the fins are right.

You are regretful about past, according to neuralink indicators.
I am! Sometimes I sorely miss working for Universal Biologic. [reminisces]

Trump's orange hair strongly resembles [species redacted] from your memories of travel.
[startles, splashing and rapid gill expulsion, three pupils dilate] --Oh, good grief! He is NOT one of those! He's too small! Besides, they're much less egomaniacal as a species than he is.

A young one perhaps, wearing a suitbot?
Well, that would account for the nonsensical behavior, but even so--too small because of the extrusions. Besides, any THAT young to BE that small couldn't possibly learn any human languages or use a suitbot that well.

Do you wish to blog with this presented picture?
No, Shelob. I'm going for a swim. [exits]

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

"Think What You've Done, What You've Asked For" Says Hairy On Scalise Shooting

"Let me be clear about what you likely accomplished, you moron!"

[turns blog function on, nearly breaking off knob] Shelob!

Here. You intend to blog? You have not blogged much recently.

Thank you for your service, DC officers who are still unnamed.

[scans Hairy's last newsfeed] Scalise has been shot during practice for a charity baseball game. The gunman in custody.

The message sent was that congressmen are vulnerable when they do charity work. Nice going. Now any money they MIGHT'VE  been willing to spend on affordable care is going to be used to beef up their security.

Didn't I say recently that congressmen should consider safe houses?

You did, yes.

Well, it's time now. [disgusted gill snort, disconnect]

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Classified Bads: The Defendant Tried Not To Offend

"Congressional Hearing" by Herr D on Windows Paint. He says he's sorry he missed that clip.--Shelob

[blog function switched on by Hairy by accident]

[laughing hard enough to cause ripples, gills at peak activity]

Hairy? You saw something funny on the newsfeed?

The [gurgling choke] morons don't quit, do they?!

No, Comey was fired.

NOT COMEY! He wasn't a moron. The guy on the feed! He actually asked what legal reason did an INTELLIGENCE CAREER DUDE have for not publicly discussing what could be classified material. AFTER the dude tried to be nice and say it 'wasn't appropriate' but would be happy to discuss it in a closed session.

It was inappropriate?

IT WAS AGAINST THE LAW! Congressman Moron was demanding that his witness break the law! I mean, doesn't that count as conspiracy to attempt treason, or something?

You don't know either?

I don't know, but everyone THERE is SUPPOSED to know! Trump is properly called ignorant of the ways of being a president, but these guys are experienced and prepared. They HAVE no excuse.

You made similar valuations of Congress' during other hearings.

Well, yes, now that you mention it. They were just as stupid when they interrogated Hillary. I mean, these guys probably get together and one of them says that they should all study up on how to be like Perry Mason. Then the senile old 6@5#@&!5 go home and listen to Perry Como by mistake. That's probably why they wave their hands around so much. They're trying to CONDUCT an investigation.

That was a pun, correct?

Yes! Hey, that means I coded your humor recognition functions better! We're off--[blog function off]

Friday, June 2, 2017

Greatest Ecological Hits Linked In Quiet Protest Of Accord Walkout

Oh is the element of surprise, according to recent comic strip in Washington Post. The following is an attempt to surprise Hairy into blogging.

[live interaction, unplanned]

[Hairy starts to put on the neuralink, and doesn't] He did it, didn't he?

Who did what?

He stepped out of the Paris thing.

The Paris Accords on prevention of climate change?

Yeah, that. How hard will it be to jump continuua? Go someplace where the climate isn't ruined?

1.338 times the energy of an emigration attempt. No continuum selection possible.

Right. No control over the destination does make me hesitate. At least that guy Jerry is doing better. You know? I haven't been blogging as much recently.

You have not. 

Right. Why don't you provide links to those former blog episodes on the topic of climate change? Two or three oughta do. [exits for a swim]

[.00000000000000000671 second scan] These links are for your enjoyment. 

Controversial: Provides fossil fuel recipe and potentially offensive material for atheists due to misunderstanding of taboos.


Convergence of views: Summation of why topical arguments are pointless.

Inspirational: A solution currently being explored by certain engineering firms.

Enjoy. [disconnect]