Sunday, December 31, 2017

Silence Breakers Not So Broken

[begin recorded segment of chat with Hairy] -viously not. The current claim is that these women are falsely accusing these powerful men. We are left with 'he said-she said' as the norm.

Well, I guess we'll have to resort to math, then.

Your viewers do not like you using math.

Yeah, I know. [irritated gill flutter] But a mathematical proof should appeal to people who like to be reasoned with. We should be able to approximate how many people would act that way, right?


Take the population as a whole.

But we want to know how rare it is that a woman would just report it if it didn't happen at all, no matter what the repercussions. I think the average person knows they don't want to be really famous. Say the average person wants fame the amount of standard desire?


But this would be fame that is NOT positive for the most part. People don't usually WANT to be thought of as wronged, you know, have the victim mentality that no one treats them as well as they should be treated?

Not suffering from a persecution complex. The very sane people. Where sanity is a range of 1 to 100.

Of course, to raise this number, we might simply say that most people of lower intelligence are in it, too.

(Where i-value is reduced)

. . . and this slightly twisted liar wants fame more than that?

(Where N, or narcissism value is increased) 

. . . and add the unusual trait of being completely unashamed of any negative thing about your personal life so you wouldn't recant under pressure? To have the tendency to fight back without remorse or hesitation? To thrive on it?

(Where V, or vanity-driven aggression, is unusually high)

What's the resulting formula?

Integrate {P(f)-S100} over diV, dN^, dV^, reaching combined limits over all potential emotional valence ranges.
How many people does that leave us? Bearing in mind that this is approximate? Should be to the nearest five or so? Based on emotional valences calculated from social media?

One. Donald Trump.

[gill snort] No wonder he doesn't believe them. HE wasn't raped, so he doesn't think anyone ELSE could've been. I'm going back to my research. [sudden disconnect]

Friday, December 29, 2017

Goaled And Heard: An Artist Of Every Strife

 Wisdom + Views = Goal  

W  - Views + View Asst. - View Asst. = Unheard W = Zero Sum (Goal Unmet)

Herr D has begun a fanfic crossover between "The Walking Dead" and "House, M.D." on The current title is "House's Plan 9 For The Walking Dead." It is currently receiving more views than both of his other published fanfics combined.

Hairy has explained the goal of teaching large numbers of humans how to improve their lives. However, he does not understand how to draw views and will not take Herr D's advice to do so.

Please comment if you have any suggestions on solving this problem.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Successful Check-In From Georgetown

[pre-recorded segment begins, connection successful with Hairy's suitbot through improvised antenna]


Net neutrality vote went as you predicted. Now the only people with full access are hackers like yourself.
Ooh. Well, I'm one of the 'white hats,' so I won't be taking much advantage. I'm still trying to understand humanity, and I'm busily pursuing more anthropological data. No need to worry. I'm nutrified, my fluid has been oxygenated, and I even increased the pressure in my suitbot for a few hours. Tell medbot to stand down, I'm fine!

Successful check-in noted. Medical status has been changed to 'DANGER' rather than 'MIA.'

[segment ends, upload, disconnect] 

Friday, December 15, 2017

Water Control To Major Hairy Flub

If anyone has seen Hairy please remind him to check in. He has possibly forgotten his protein supplement, and the reminders in his current suitbot are somewhat ignorable.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

Bias Tape: Conflict Good For Digestion?

"Duel" by Herr D on heromachine. He said he felt silly for getting the shadow wrong. I think he got the title wrong. 'En Garde' would have been better. Something else--if a unicorn were made of light, shouldn't it NOT cast a shadow?-Hairy

[task interrupt, recorded segment begins, suitbot transmission] You are partially ready to blog today? Commence.

So, I was trying to piece together this bit about how people digest the news.

Eating newspaper is unlikely to be healthy except for certain worms.

No. As in 'Reader's Digest.'

Digest as in mentally process.

Right. Well, I need the practice. I may try to converse with a live human again soon.

Your last several attempts did not go well.

I know. That's why I'm practicing. So I found this Post in the recycle bin and sat down where I could hear the t.v. through an open window.

Reference please.

Oh. Access my memory?

[neuralink access confirms, Washington Post 12/1/17 Sections A-C, Fox News 12/2/17 Approximately 8am-8:15am EST.

Right. So the Post almost always disagrees with Fox news by bias. As a newspaper, the Post has to be more accurate than a t.v. show.


Because it costs more to be wrong. As an example, the commentator said it was a new thing to criticize a First Lady. That's not true, but no one is likely to call for a retraction. That's selective memory. An article in the Post pointed out that people criticized Michelle Obama for--well, a few things. Then he criticized criticizing Melania Trump for her choices of Christmas decorations. That's one of the things Michelle Obama was criticized for.

They are not as accurate as you about human events, though you are not even human.

Well, yes. Shelob, we are unusual in that we check our facts BEFORE we blog on them. Bloggers are normally less accurate than t.v. shows. T.v. shows are normally less accurate than newspapers. Newspapers are normally less accurate than wire services.

And people are normally more accurate than t.v. shows?

No, people are normally less accurate than blogs.

What about web news, news 'zines?

Hmmp. 'Zines I THINK are usually more accurate than blogs, but less accurate than papers. Some of them are better than t.v. and some aren't. You've done some of the calculations for me before.

These were the calculations based on bloggers that blog on op-ed level versus bias level on fact?

Right. Bias is MUCH easier to insert online, and mistakes are impossible to edit once printed and sent out. One of the best ways to get rid of it is to 'digest' one news story with both major biases. That way you don't have to know as many facts. Most of the time, if you just pit biases against each other in your reading, you don't have to do as much fact-checking.

So you might be mislead equally in two directions instead of one?
Well, it's more like the biases will cancel each other a little. Kind of like error cancellation.

You said you prefer the Post because it was accurate enough to be quoted by wire services.
Well that's right! The Post is unusually accurate. It's just not responsible to disregard news you don't like or don't agree with.

 Example please?

Take for example the unicorn. Most people have heard that only a virgin can capture a unicorn. A few centuries ago, some friar copied it wrong. The word was 'vines.' It makes sense that horns would tangle in vines. The virgin thing was just a Freudian slip. But if you write fantasy and stick to the vines? People won't read your stuff. You won't sell your books. You've got to be aware of not just majority rule, but majority ridiculousness.

The unicorn might be eliminated altogether, as it is fictional.
I KNOW it's a fictional animal. It's only the point I'm making!

 They possess only one point. It is the main identifier.

[irritated gill flutter] Signing off. Go blog. [disconnects]

[reupload, blog function on, disconnect]

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Our Sets Of Truth Should Remain As Free (Or Low-Cost) As Possible.

"Briqs" by Herr D on (Category challenge.) You should always remember that accuracy is contained in deception, and deception is easier when accuracy cannot be verified. -Hairy

So, what's this 'net neutrality' thing I keep seeing referenced?

[neuralink burst]

Ouch. I suppose this is the time for it. According to the history I've compiled, there has been no time so caught up in what people would rather hear and so divided about what people claim the truth is. Now would be the time when an internet provider could very easily declare their own biases and punish everyone who disagrees by excluding content or charging more for the right to read contrary biases. There's only one thing that might stop it besides an immense amount of customer dissatisfaction.

What is that?

As more and more people need to satisfy the unemployment office and do job searches for being underemployed, which is also at an all-time high, limits on access or fees had better not prevent job searches even slightly or eventually there could be a class action suit or legal action.

Solidarity is rare.

Restricting the truth is against the Constitution. Balanced coverage in minutes doesn't cut it. People will ignore the truth without anyone influencing them. Trying to hide the truth from anyone besides yourself is criminal. Making differing views more expensive is worse than not affording a good lawyer. All these factoids are piled up, but I've no constructive thing to say except one:

Maintaining net neutrality is the right thing to do. Perhaps if enough people write their senators AND their internet providers promising voting behaviors and taking business to someone else, the right call will be made? Hard to say.

You are not predicting a clear outcome?
No--my knowledge is of two outcomes. I do know people won't be happy with the result. Hiding from the truth, enabled or not, just makes more problems.

Monday, November 20, 2017

Fickled Herr-ing And Disclaimers And Dissing

Thanks go out to 'HyerTakUsPlz' for pointing out the "fickle finger of fate" as Ms. Briskman seems to be receiving karmic balance from the community at large. Fickleness has been noted but not programmed in as a variable in this model.

Uncertain of proper response to various comments, including emoticons and arguments not specific to issue. As always, comments requested to remain anonymous, irrelevant comments, and comments classified nonrepeatable due to biological or ethical taboo by Hairy will remain anonymous and mostly undescribed. 

Current level of anger, irrelevance, and confusion suggests that some of you need therapy.
Here is an example of art therapy provided by Herr D:

 The Reason For Oral Reports 
by Herr D

Bill and Mikes One to Four and me were on the starting lineup. We were going to just play the game last Saturday when Bill and Mike Two took a knee during the Star Spangled Banner.

Coach Jan was right there, whispering for us to join hands and ran up to meet security, which was closin' around us in a hurry with the booin' from the stands. Somebody threw a glass bottle. One of the security guards ran up to get 'em out. Everybody knows you don't bring glass into the stands. I was glad. I had thought WE was in trouble.

I was afraid Coach Jan would take Bill and Mike Two out of the game. But that's not what she did. She ran to the booth and got on, sayin':

 "Attention, ladies and gentlemen. Security has already been sent to remove the worst-behaving people in the crowd. I want to remind you all that this sporting event is a peaceful assembly, like the Constitution says. The Constitution of America also says that people have the right to demonstrate peacefully. It's under free speech if you need to look it up, y'all. Some of you don't want America to act like a team. A team plays fair. A team is united. A team wins over a mob. Anyone else who wants to act like a criminal and not like a true American can get thrown out by security. Some of you might've noticed--my team is holding hands. We don't all agree that kneeling is okay. But we're a team. I'm the coach. You want to tell us peaceably you disagree? You mail our high school a letter. Anything Uncle Sam wouldn't be ashamed to bring us I'll read. Until then, we're ready to play. Just as soon as the glass is cleaned up."

Their shop teacher brought out a shop vac and an extension cord and vacuumed it up himself. Then he talked to the coaches, and asked Coach Jan to apologize to us personally.  He DID say he didn't like the kneeling either, but he does agree we have the right. Then he said he hopes that someday no one will even understand why we thought we had to.  Coach Jan gave him a hug for that right there. I guess he's one of the peaceful opposition we learned about in Civics class. I guess you just got to know how to talk right to get along with people you disagree with. That's the reason for English class and oral reports like this one. Learning a tool to get along with. Thank you all for listening.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Akima Will Likely Go Unpunished, Herr D Wishes He Had Employees That Honest, And Shelob Runs Experiment

Herr D presented this sentiment about the last posting:

It makes me wish I had a company, so I could go offer her a job. Most people I've worked with and for turned out to be less honest than I am. Some of them lie over why I'm not with them anymore.

A rare opportunity has emerged for a simple observational experiment. Please visit the following link:

The contractor known as Akima LLC fired Briskman over 'fear' that her actions and activities on social media would somehow harm the company.

Anyone who has observed the Akima financial reports, as they are public record, please comment upon any fluctuations in revenue. Hairy will permit statistical data be analyzed. The question is whether the company has come to harm with timing that would suggest the harm was over Briskman's firing, Briskman's willing self-identification, the inequity of firing her and not her colleague guilty of violating the same policy, or her social media presence and activity.

The current statistical model is that no significant harm will come to the company at all, for any of these reasons.


Where F is the fingering, S is the social media activity, I is the self-identification, and T is the termination. Time line is not to scale. Please present any data on this topic in comments.

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Being Fired Over Waving Isn't Nearly As Shocking As Something Else, Indicates Hairy

Sudden beige alert. Suitbot #4 is paging. Connect through blog software, as blogging is overdue.

Yeah, Shelob, I don't understand this article in the post--

You are speaking of the woman fired for warning her employer about her gesture at the Presidential motorcade.
What is the problem with this action, exactly?

[neuralink feed of general obscene gesture wiki compiled from several web sources]
Ohhh. Good thing I leave the hands on automatic in this rig.

The suitbots' programming does encourage correct mimicking of human behavior, ever since the incident where you walked with your 'knees' bending backwards for two blocks.
So, anyone has the right to make their own business a platform for neutrality and an acceptance of the status quo by influencing their employees' right to free speech.

Businesses play by internal rules, as permitted. 
So free speech isn't really free.

Herr D has commented on the subject frequently. He says that rich people can sue over the truth being made public, and businesses can pigeonhole themselves by limiting employee behavior unless the company is well-run enough. His meaning is uncertain.
Ah. Well, that problem will eventually take care of itself, right?

Your meaning is also uncertain. 
She didn't have to tell them. She COULD have hidden it from them. I mean, eventually, that will make only deceptive people work for that company. Then eventually that company will suffer for the deceptions.

An example?
Like their sales will fall off, and they won't know the real reasons. Then they'll waste money fixing the wrong problem. Eventually the company will suffer enough that it will pay for what it has done.

This will culminate in individual justice?
No, justice in a capitalism happens in groups. Everyone on the same gravy train eats the same gravy, whether it's rancid or full of the best nutrients.

Unable to reference aphorism. Is it a genuine old saying?
Well, it should be an old saying. Tell me more about this Guess thing. What are you supposed to guess abou--[accidental disconnect as Hairy plugged a protruding tentacle into the electrical outlet, suitbot damage uncertain]

Monday, October 23, 2017

Overdue Check-In, Not Enough Karmic Balance

"Belle A La Lugosi" by Herr D on Alternate title "Innecrodiabetic Shock."



Oh. I didn't know you were uploaded to the spitter.

Why do you call this device a spitter when it does not salivate or expectorate?

Because "thing that shoots water out the back for propulsion" takes too long.

You would prefer "hydrostatic propulsion unit."

Hmm. That's still a little long. Forget that for now.

Setting random timer for discussion.

[grumble] Fine. I haven't checked in with Herr D in a while. How's he doing?

He and his family are ill.

Oh. I should send him a well-wish.

He received a copy of your general wish toward his health. He believes you write AI at times.

Really? He doesn't believe in you?

Yeah, Hairy, oh, 'Shelob?' [apparent disbelief] If you had any real powers, I'd ask you to start me reaping what I've been sowing.

[chuckle, deep in the gills] Good old Herr D. Skeptics are good for dreamers like me. Keeps us grounded. Remind me to amp up some good feeling in his direction when I travel onto land again.

Programming reminders into serviceable suitbots. 

There IS a rather large karmic imbalance in his life . . . [propels self away with SeaDont]

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Naysayers, Not Kneelers, Cause Chaos--Who Lied?

[begin recorded segment with Hairy begging out of blogging again, claiming local fauna need assistance] Don't you want to know what this blog episode is about?

No, not really. [annoyed gill-flutter] Okay, what?

[neuralink burst of all available video about kneeling football players in recent news, and rapid-fire streaming of all articles in seven major news zines and digital reprints of print articles]
[convulses a bit] Eeee-ew! That's annoying. [all eleven tentacles spike outwards, translatable as an exclamation point]

The neuralink burst?

No! Well, yes, but I mean the deliberate reinterpretation of others' thoughts and actions.

You seem to think this misunderstanding is deliberate. You cannot be sure of that. 
No? Do a search. Look for ANYTHING mentioned ANYWHERE in the history of humanity before this football season that suggests kneeling is disrespectful of anyone or anything.

[exhaustive search of nearly twelve quadrillion bytes of information: 12 minutes, 43.86992731 seconds] There do not appear to be any. None found.
Well, I knew you wouldn't. It isn't. How many people are falling for THAT nonsense?

Parameters for determinative search?
No, don't bother. The organization Black Lives Matter isn't the most sensibly run or necessarily the best group on its cause, but the non-violent stuff? That's smart. It causes no problems, unlike declaring that kneeling could ever be disrespectful to America, its military, or its flag.

This would mean they are deliberately deceptive.
The people that are grossly lying about the protesters' intents and fooling or attempting to fool others into believing such stupidity? They are the ones causing a problem.

It would be helpful to titlebot to provide a more simple summation.
The truest mark of this protest? Anyone who doesn't like their cause can look at the flag instead of disrespectfully ignoring it and ignore the protesters. Disrespectful would be sticking the wrong finger at it, turning your back on it, exposing genitalia to it, et cetera.

Behaviors like that do not compute.

It's not supposed to; I just read that material on human behavior. I should go up on land again. That bookstore was very helpful.

[end recorded segment, upload, disconnect--

Thursday, October 5, 2017

News Sites Not Bright; Schooling Available

"Ush Hour" by Herr D on Immigration to the Atlantic is increasing. Pity most won't survive winter.

[begin recorded segment in conversation between Shelob and Hairy]
You have not commented on Trump's behavior of late. Many websites are critical, the Washington Post is not. The pundits are only critical of how he talked about hurricane relief, not about how he acted.

No, he's talking the same nonsense. Not interesting. What IS interesting is that that bit about him following the same recipe as Obama got a different result. Clearly the short pamphlet on how to react in a weather crisis isn't too hard for Trump to follow. He acted as he was supposed to, whether he said what people wanted or not. The people UNDER him, the ones that aren't reacting as strongly, thoroughly, or whatever--they aren't doing as good a job. Not all of them are Trump hires, so he can't be blamed for all of that.

What or who caused 'all of that?'
My guess would be the very human but less than professional way they aren't maintaining their job performance under a difficult leader. That's not an excuse. They should be doing a LOT closer to the same level / quantity of work instead of less than a tenth as much.

You are pointing out the tendency to blame a figurehead for an entire administration.

Yes. Trump might be a poor leader or a poor president or anything in particular, but he isn't to blame for generals and bureaucrats not acting right. That they do sometimes anyway. Then there's the other possibility.

Which is?
There may be a worry that they have to maintain 'America First,' and so deal with Texas and Florida before Puerto Rico. They are a territory, and so maybe he counts them less important? That would be consistent, if slightly unwise. I guess I should have you remind people that comments are open? I am glad that the real morons don't comment here, but I'd like some intelligent, or even some pseudointelligent comments a lot more often, especially by people who don't mind me posting their screen names. I won't usually be available for unscheduled chat, because ten anonymous people is more than I can keep up with. [exits lair for swim with thought 'my the schooling is worse today!']

**Hairy IS looking for comments by people who do not mind being reprinted. As always, the occasional request with code YFEO for 'Your Five Eyes Only' will not be shown, only tabulated, categorized, and grouped for rephrasing with other similar texts in context besides direct interaction with or being ignored by Hairy. His current correspondence is taking him away from blogging, and so is not accepting any more chat invitations for the foreseeable future.**

[end segment, upload, disconn--

Monday, September 18, 2017

Weather Or Not He Should

[medbot is observing Hairy's vitals, as he appears somewhat in distress, supposedly over his observations of unusual fish migrations, temperature changes, etc. Shelob notes intention to communicate, begins recording]

So, does Trump believe in climate change yet?

No announcement has been made to that effect as yet.
Keep me posted. Most politicians do about-faces whenever convenient. Record-breaking weather events ARE somewhat obvious, but deniable. Ah, well. [disconnect]

Hairy does possess enough knowledge to cause weather events such as this, but he maintains that "the human power of denial could overcome any truth" and that he is not interested in causing harm. He will peacefully accept your destructive continuations.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Et Tu Photobucket?

[begin recorded segment, interruption of Hairy's swim] Herr D is still having problems with the site formerly known as Photobucket.

How's he doing? And what'd the site change its name to?

It appears to be a series of profane words.

[gill-snicker] put me into the chat with him. And hype me a bit so I can read his mind properly. Too much weather happening.

[neuralink tweak, frequency redirect, 'sign-in' duplicated]

--of it. 700 pictures, most of which I put effort into. It's my portfolio! I haven't been able to look at any of it without feeling a little sick.

[others' information auto-redacted because of ethical issues regarding privacy and permissions not received]

Hey, Herr D! Heard you were sounding off and joined you. Did your portfolio host give you notice of this, at least?

No! I didn't have any warning. I don't have any money. If I'd had money, I might not have used them in the first place. There's SCADS of ways to spend money on that sort of service.

Yeah. Wait. Did you mean scads of ways to spend it or ways to spend scads of it? I think both are true . . .

[disgusted snort] If they'd WARNED ME,  maybe said that they have to do something about their bottom line, I'd have tried to raise the money to stay with them. I probably would've failed, but I wouldn't have felt betrayed. 

So you have to put in all that effort to copy and move your portfolio? That's a lot of effort.

Yeah? Well, I would have to put in effort to somehow raise the money they want and I'd likely fail at that! Figuring out what to do next and how to do it and when to find the time is hard.  When they turned off my loyalty they set me free. I could use your expertise. I know you've done things a lot more complicated than this.

[pause, examining site through neuralink] I COULD do a quick text paste of a year at a time. But I'd have to have the formats and all else pre-understood. [neuralink rapid data transfer] Your computer has all of it in that drive your cousin bought you now. Good purchase. It would be unethical for me to just tweak the site to give you what you deserve.

Well, when you say unethical, I understand--don't do any of THAT stuff. You don't know how to operate Deviantart, do you? I seem to have hit a snag. Wait. [disengage for a full minute] Did you just copy all of it over to my hardware?! ALL OF IT?! I didn't even see the drive light up. How did--

Yeah. One year at a time, like I said. Your format is easy enough. Deviantart is not something I get yet. I could study it, but you should explore it as a reorganization of your art. It might help you grow as an artist. Good to work through your feelings of betrayal, too. Your stuff is safe, anyway.

[bewildered snort] Well, I'm back at it then. May have time for special requests, but not today.

Take your time. It's been fascinating watching your progress.

[bewildered but grateful] Thanks. Bye. [signs off]

His emotional data seems mature.

Yeah, he's a good kid. Human or no, sometimes I think he has a good brain. [exits]

[end recorded segment, upload, disconnect]

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Houston, You Have A Problem: This Is Not The Rainbow Connection

You have not spoken about Houston.


Houston has another problem.

No. What's wrong? I was looking at the--wait, give me a neuralink summation--numbers only.

[.07726 second neuralink burst]

Ouch. When I hear water rising, I just ordinarily think "more space." Sometimes I forget people don't have gills. People DIED for this? [untranslatable sound] Guys! I'm sorry for all you're going through down in the Gulf there. I thought Trump was just bragging again! I didn't really listen to what he was saying . . . well, I guess MOST people shouldn't listen to what he says . . .

Perhaps you should predict the weather pattern for expeditious federal aid.

No. Meteorology is best looked at in real time, since 'modern' predictive models aren't very good. It's always best to think of a storm as an equalizing effect. Something is out of balance that causes a reaction, and the storm rages until the balance is attained.

Perhaps you should explain what the weather means, climatically. 

I don't need to say anything. When it comes to weather, the figures you provided say that people are very inflexible in what they believe about it. Some people imagine that their Supreme Being would waste their time with a weather event. Christians believe God promised not to do that again. I'm not sure about the others--Herr D only told me about this rainbow covenant thing.

The prismatic effect is believed to be linked to a specific event in time?

Yeah. I don't know. I guess there weren't any rainbows before Noah?

Preliminary searches determine arrangement made under a treaty known as "the Rainbow Connection."

No, that was Kermit the Frog. Different guy. I'm gonna go check on migration levels. Maybe this is why the fish are schooling this way? [exits lair]

Monday, August 28, 2017

Phailure Being Addressed, Party No Party, Gallery Galling

Herr D has been explicitly notified of his gallery's website's failure to comply with its original function and inability to correctly define "third party." He is likely to provide replacement links when available, but that will not be immediately, as his entire gallery is subject to this same problem.

Specifically, Hairy has granted Herr D ownership of the part of this blog that contains the pictures that are owned by Herr D. Like ownership is the case for every location of Herr D's art. Therefore, there is no "third party." Herr D is the only party in question, with links to this blog, the website, and his own, other unnamed project or projects.

Photobucket software is unworthy of conversation with an AI. Therefore, the onus for updated links will remain with Herr D except for specific cases where Hairy reviews Herr D's art and volunteers assistance.


Thursday, August 24, 2017

Suggestions From The Sidelines To Diminish Violence

"How Did Things Get So Bad?" by Herr D on

[begin recorded segment of Hairy flabbergasted over arguments online]
Okay, I've done it too. Herr D was right to call me on that. I've made cutting remarks. Of course, I HAVE made cutting remarks against both dominant political parties. There's a lot to be made fun of everywhere. I'll say it again now: No human is perfect. That doesn't mean I approve of any particular behavior, and it doesn't mean anything is excusable in particular. That last sentence should tell you how foolish some of the arguments are that I've been reading.

About the best I've heard in weeks is that if we don't make EVERYBODY smarter then people are going to stay this unhappy with any administration elected from now on.

He was only talking about educating voters not to repeat certain previous actions.

Well, it's a corollary of what the man said! He was talking about how Trump's supporters will just vote for him again to similar results, but that isn't a uniquely Trump phenomenon. But really--the fact that people with lower IQ's were statistically more likely to vote for one candidate isn't the issue. It doesn't matter to Trump supporters that Putin would rather have Trump in office--if it DID, then it would bother them that Russian hackers bothered the DNC but not the GOP. Hacking the GOP wasn't even attempted. It doesn't matter to them that fake news and false rumors are being created by people on their own side. It doesn't matter to them that they are being manipulated by a rich man who got rich because people believed in what he would sell them.

It doesn't matter?
It doesn't matter to them! They don't believe anything to the contrary of what they want to hear. The facts don't matter, the lack of progress in any direction doesn't matter, and the campaign promises don't matter. Their feelings dominate them. That would be why eight years of painfully slow progress and economy-building don't matter to them. THEY AREN'T SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW IT WAS GOOD FOR THEM AND JUST WANT TO FEEL GOOD FOR A WHILE. No one can eat wheat germ twenty times a week without craving a little sugar.

What is your recommendation?
Let 'em feel good. It's not like democrats in Congress would be competent to kick Trump out if he had paid Putin by personal check to overturn the electorate in his favor. It's not like you can change the mind of a Trump supporter. STOP TRYING TO DO THAT.  STAY HOME AND WATCH THE FOOTAGE OF WHO IS A WHITE SUPREMACIST SO YOU CAN BEWARE OF THEM. Then, when you see them out, you can get between them and the minorities they threaten if you want to stand up for a cause.

You are suggesting not protesting them?
Why go out and warn them? SHOW UP AT THE VOTING POLLS AND GET RID OF EVERYONE YOU DON'T LIKE. Remember, crazy and stupid people are naturally motivated to vote. Don't neglect your civic duties. If you can't teach people to be smarter, outvote them.

Ah. [uploading]

Monday, August 21, 2017

Clarify And Pacify As Ninety-Nine Red Balloons Go By

[observes Hairy while beginning recorded segment] Hairy?
[Hairy is chopping up a semi-rotted plastic tarp which has floated down to the lair] !@#$%^&* So much trash! How does anyone think THIS will help!? I coul--

Hairy? [sends bot forward to slowly churn / wad tarp] Your audience is changing. There is net activity denoting first-time readers attempting to understand your views. Can you spare a bit of time to define your views upon Trump?

Umm. No. Not really. He's not worth worrying about. [turning on chemical analyzer]

Your viewers are curious. Perhaps overlapping issues?
All right. [sees readout, rolls three eyes] Ask a few timely questions.

How do you expect the Russian collusion investigation to resolve?
That's really not much of an issue. Most U.S. Presidents don't actually get punished for any particular crime. --I mean really--over forty powerful men that have at some point lied or broken promises to America? Men that were of a psyche that allowed them to pursue the most powerful job in the free world?

You mean you don't think they should be allowed to rule, or you don't think they should go unpunished?

I mean they were all a little twisted. That's a system flaw.

So it may not be worth spending the time to punish them or even to figure out their exact crimes?
Well, maybe not! I think it's more important to figure out why Putin prefers him in office so that America can prevent one of its greatest adversaries from getting something or several somethings that America would be better off with them not getting.

Maddow suggested it was international oil development.
Use the template of an undetermined goal set as a variable.

And the controversy over handling the removal of Confederate statues? [neuralink burst]
What? Oh. Well, statues of General Lee belong in museums about the American Civil War, whether they belong in public squares or not. I think the blunder was not just saying "Let's go preserve this over HERE." People didn't need to be upset. No one got upset about America owning swastikas. America owns quite a few of them. They belong in the Holocaust Museum, and no one questions that.

And your stance on the violence related to it?
Mental health professionals DO have their work cut out for them.

You are referring to racism as a mental problem?
Hate is always a mental problem. The one kid who rammed his car into the crowd has documented mental health problems. Not everyone will have a diagnosis to prove it, but hatred, as well as needless violence, is always sick.

You would classify ISIL as a mental health issue?
ISIL is a lot like that one I read about, the Munchausen By Proxy thing. People moved to hatred or delusion or even violence by other people. Some people shouldn't be allowed to run a hairdryer, much less influence other peoples' care or beliefs.

You already recently addressed your views on North Korea.
I did, yes. Luckily the 'might' of North Korea isn't nearly the problem of dealing with the other political entities after whatever happens with them. [successfully melts a unit of plastic into environmentally safe components] Hey! It's working!

You have stopped referring to some of the political entities as 'countries.'
By some peoples' definitions, you can't have a country that doesn't recognize human rights violations. That IS a feudal state, or a political entity, at least. We done here?

That is enough to post for clarification. [stop recording, upload, disconnect--

Saturday, August 12, 2017


[summoning medbot as Hairy has appeared in the lair at 1:14 EST, but visually incorrect, neuralink eval underway] Hairy? You have returned off schedule.

I saw it, Shelob. I got a glimpse of home. Right before I was yanked approximately North-North-East at a speed of 378 ygs.

By those figures, the eclipse caused your launch failure with an orthogonal force.
Doh! I didn't figure in the eclipse. Orthogonal? Yep. Yeesh. Full magnetic effect. That's why my blood heated up so uncomfortably and my tentacles swapped around. My biggest red one was on the other side when I left.

[medbot stands down]

--Why is the lair on radiation protocol?

[neuralink burst, as Hairy is indeed Hairy, of recent nuclear program progress of N. Korea]
Ouch. Well, the good news is that out of seventy warheads, it's likely that one or none will strike the mainland.

And the other news?
The bad news is that there are a lot of techniques they could use such as 'dirtier' equipment and 'doomsday' tactics. Kimmy-boy is crazy enough not to understand that he will wind up causing his own regime more destruction with his bombs aimed outwards than America is necessarily going to retaliate with. He likely has no idea about most of the more complicated 'aftermath' factors . . .

--Dear Holy Grimminitz!

You have thought of something. 
His nuclear scientists must be living a hellish life.

Because, why else except under torture or horrible coercion would anyone give a loaded gun to a maniac?

That is a metaphor?
Yes! Metaphor. This might be a very worthy cause . . . blog about this?

Agreed. [disconnect, as initial calculations underway, upload record--]

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

HDS' Suggestion Has Merit, Hairy Is Still Unavailable

By blog instruction #1, "I'll do it; don't worry about it," blog is untended.
By blog instruction #3194a, "Go ahead if you find a good, positive topic," entry possible today.

Congratulations and compliments go out to H. Doyle Smith, of P.O. Box 81, Dalton OH 44618, for endorsing, announcing, publishing, and otherwise suggesting a monopoly legislation tweak worthy of an advanced intellect and constructive toward the United States. Leaders should examine his and related possibilities for the correct next step forward.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Another Attempt

"When A Hero's Parents Are Too Human," by Herr D on Overpacking can be hazardous.-Shelob

While Hairy makes another ill-advised attempt to emigrate toward his home using the inertial drag of the Perseids, he wishes anyone traveling a safe journey, despite any tendencies to under or overpack as depicted by new pic by Herr D.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

When You're Afraid Of Something, Let It Go?

"Escapee From Lab J" by Herr D on heromachine.

[laughing, deep in gills] That's just so FUNNY!

What is funny? The content of the newsfeed seemed serious.
[startles] Oh. Hi, Shelob. I'm sorry--Trump cut off access to most journalists. Ha! 'The cottage went dark!' [more laughter]

[deep gill intake] Well, he probably got sick of journalists trying to get information, be it through leakers, or slips of the tongue, or simply asking certain questions in certain ways.

The intended question was 'why is that funny,' but if he hated the interplay between the journalists and a spokesperson or himself, he could have written a script and seemed wonderful.
[one eye bugs out, two roll, one narrows, and one blinks] Uh, no.

Why not?
For starters, HE can't stay on script, so he wouldn't know how to ASK such a thing. Then take into account he'd be making his own fake news--I imagine he would detect the hypocrisy in such a thing. He's not a complete idiot. He just seems to have forgotten how to market himself. I daresay his new convert numbers have topped out. Plateaued? What's that phrase?

Bottomed out.
Right. Humans DO seem to have everything upside-down.

Like he should have prepared how to answer, rather than preventing some of the questions?
Like he should remember that when you have an alien monster by the back horn, you don't just LET GO!

Making journalists take up their valuable time to go through security WAS an excellent way to waste their time, hobbling their efforts. If you refer to deliberately giving the journalists more time to research negative stories about him, the phrase is, 'having a tiger by the tail.'
Whatever! I'm gonna go swim. Water won't be this cool forever. I hope they get the coral to quit dying. [exits]

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Do Not Be Alarmed; Trump Is Assuredly Human Says Hairy

"Amateur Night, Lavender Lounge, Deck 3" by Herr D on
You have picked a new favorite of Herr D's work.

I'm glad to see Herr D up to his usual stuff. That IS completely the wrong color scheme for that species--more of a maroon-legged, pink-horned palette. Well, the fins are right.

You are regretful about past, according to neuralink indicators.
I am! Sometimes I sorely miss working for Universal Biologic. [reminisces]

Trump's orange hair strongly resembles [species redacted] from your memories of travel.
[startles, splashing and rapid gill expulsion, three pupils dilate] --Oh, good grief! He is NOT one of those! He's too small! Besides, they're much less egomaniacal as a species than he is.

A young one perhaps, wearing a suitbot?
Well, that would account for the nonsensical behavior, but even so--too small because of the extrusions. Besides, any THAT young to BE that small couldn't possibly learn any human languages or use a suitbot that well.

Do you wish to blog with this presented picture?
No, Shelob. I'm going for a swim. [exits]

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

"Think What You've Done, What You've Asked For" Says Hairy On Scalise Shooting

"Let me be clear about what you likely accomplished, you moron!"

[turns blog function on, nearly breaking off knob] Shelob!

Here. You intend to blog? You have not blogged much recently.

Thank you for your service, DC officers who are still unnamed.

[scans Hairy's last newsfeed] Scalise has been shot during practice for a charity baseball game. The gunman in custody.

The message sent was that congressmen are vulnerable when they do charity work. Nice going. Now any money they MIGHT'VE  been willing to spend on affordable care is going to be used to beef up their security.

Didn't I say recently that congressmen should consider safe houses?

You did, yes.

Well, it's time now. [disgusted gill snort, disconnect]

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Classified Bads: The Defendant Tried Not To Offend

"Congressional Hearing" by Herr D on Windows Paint. He says he's sorry he missed that clip.--Shelob

[blog function switched on by Hairy by accident]

[laughing hard enough to cause ripples, gills at peak activity]

Hairy? You saw something funny on the newsfeed?

The [gurgling choke] morons don't quit, do they?!

No, Comey was fired.

NOT COMEY! He wasn't a moron. The guy on the feed! He actually asked what legal reason did an INTELLIGENCE CAREER DUDE have for not publicly discussing what could be classified material. AFTER the dude tried to be nice and say it 'wasn't appropriate' but would be happy to discuss it in a closed session.

It was inappropriate?

IT WAS AGAINST THE LAW! Congressman Moron was demanding that his witness break the law! I mean, doesn't that count as conspiracy to attempt treason, or something?

You don't know either?

I don't know, but everyone THERE is SUPPOSED to know! Trump is properly called ignorant of the ways of being a president, but these guys are experienced and prepared. They HAVE no excuse.

You made similar valuations of Congress' during other hearings.

Well, yes, now that you mention it. They were just as stupid when they interrogated Hillary. I mean, these guys probably get together and one of them says that they should all study up on how to be like Perry Mason. Then the senile old 6@5#@&!5 go home and listen to Perry Como by mistake. That's probably why they wave their hands around so much. They're trying to CONDUCT an investigation.

That was a pun, correct?

Yes! Hey, that means I coded your humor recognition functions better! We're off--[blog function off]

Friday, June 2, 2017

Greatest Ecological Hits Linked In Quiet Protest Of Accord Walkout

Oh is the element of surprise, according to recent comic strip in Washington Post. The following is an attempt to surprise Hairy into blogging.

[live interaction, unplanned]

[Hairy starts to put on the neuralink, and doesn't] He did it, didn't he?

Who did what?

He stepped out of the Paris thing.

The Paris Accords on prevention of climate change?

Yeah, that. How hard will it be to jump continuua? Go someplace where the climate isn't ruined?

1.338 times the energy of an emigration attempt. No continuum selection possible.

Right. No control over the destination does make me hesitate. At least that guy Jerry is doing better. You know? I haven't been blogging as much recently.

You have not. 

Right. Why don't you provide links to those former blog episodes on the topic of climate change? Two or three oughta do. [exits for a swim]

[.00000000000000000671 second scan] These links are for your enjoyment. 

Controversial: Provides fossil fuel recipe and potentially offensive material for atheists due to misunderstanding of taboos.


Convergence of views: Summation of why topical arguments are pointless.

Inspirational: A solution currently being explored by certain engineering firms.

Enjoy. [disconnect]