Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Kim Jong-un Should Watch Movies, Learn From Queen Of England

[raucous laughter] Wha-hahhh!

Seizure check. [buzzing noise]

Ow! Watch that thing! That hurts!

Medbot says you have sympt--

I don't care! You can't read symptoms! That was LAUGHTER, you infinite loop!

Subject of amusement?

This moron from Korea! He struck out without knowing ANYTHING. He's in danger of repeating history.

You are referring to history of American politics and American cinema?

Yes! Shelob--run me  a quick list of leaders featured in American film as meeting unfavorable ends.

USSR--multiple leaders of various ranks.  "Rambo: First Blood II," "Hunt For Red October," various Bond films.

Stick to national level.

England--Queen and royal family. "King Ralph," "Johnny English"
Iraq--Saddam Hussein. "Hot Shots: Par Deux"
North Korea--Kim Jong-un. "The Interview"

STOP! That's enough. Now a chronology and categorization of relations with context of those films.

USSR categorized as "sniping." Various complaints, showing indignation through the 1970's till 1991 at dissolution. Rambo II and HFRO were 1985 and 1990, respectively.
England categorized as "dignified ignoring" till current times. KR and JE were 1991 and 2003, respectively.
Hussein categorized as "continually hostile, sometimes quietly" till death in 2006. HSPD was 1993.
Kim Jong-un's regime categorized as "retribution, cyberterrorism." "Interview" not even scheduled yet.


Yeah. Sorry. [refocuses one blue eye] I streamed some of that while I was waiting. Run pattern recognition on that list and tell me what you see.

[sixteen seconds pass] Interesting results. 
1. England is unchanged despite being shown in film as leadership dying due to security incompetence, dethroned due to lack of resolve.
2. USSR dissolved after years of complaining about film depiction.
3. Hussein captured and executed after years of threats and hiding in a hole. No recorded comments on the satire.
4. Kim Jong-un's regime faced retribution for acts of retribution through cyberterrorism. Threats were made. Movie still not out.

Yep--so, conclusions?

In your style of speaking, Kim Jong-un should "turn up his nose, turn away, pretend the movie doesn't exist, then slowly start complaining, and go away and hide?"

Or maybe claim that he finds the clutzy stupid Americans believable? Make his own movie where an amazing action star is just a regular Korean citizen capable of wiping the floor with a hundred Americans with superior weaponry?

I mean, it's better than acting like a terrified pathetic blustering ignorant screwup, right?

Cyber attacks are not underway at this time.

Hey, maybe his crew is learning already? [disconnect]

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