Thursday, July 19, 2018

Cavemen Slept Around, Fooling Scientists Thoroughly



[begin prerecorded segment during Hairy's tirade regarding content of following web address]

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/07/the-new-story-of-humanitys-origins/564779/


Yeahhh . . . isn't this obvious? Why is this new?

It is apparently not obvious.
 
This property of speciel advancement is actually MENTIONED in biology textbooks. One of the advantages of sexual vs. asexual reproduction? What did scientists think dog breeders and animal husbandry experts had been DOING for a few thousand years now? I mean--WHY IS THIS A NEW THEORY?

When evolution as a body of theory was published, it was in an era when humans were not supposed to be thought of as animals. The views of humanity at the time apparently stunted the advancement of all related theory.

 Good grief.

Certain segments of humanity still think that evolution disproves religion.
 
Well, now . . . that's just STUPID. Processes proven do NOT prove continuity from any point in the past. Show that in an equation?

Any function, f(x), where x relates to time, can fail to reflect a discontinuity in reality.
 
Exactly. Evolution is going on now, and has been for a very long time. This has NOTHING to do with the beginning of life on this rock. God probably thought the exact mechanisms it used were none of humanity's BUSINESS. Like aliens weren't any of humanity's business.

So then, you are religious as well?

 My kind is spiritual. Dogma is not very useful to a far-flung species. God, though? Who in their right mind WOULDN'T believe in something more powerful than themselves? Anything else is just stupid egotism. I'm going swimming. [mutters] Scientists forgot cavemen had sex with each other. Good grief! [exits]

[end recording, examine: .00000000000071 seconds, notify titlebot, upload]

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

It's Amad, Mad, Mad, Mad World


[connect, interrupt Hairy] You are perusing the news regarding Project Amad. You seem to be relieved at Israel's actions.

Uh huh. Well, we knew that Obama's diplomatic solution might be incomplete, but that it was necessary at the time. Why do you bring this up?

Interception of communications, improving the accuracy of intel, and sending them on in real-time assisted the Israelis in their quest.
 
You did that? . . . I--might have to examine your initiative subroutines. We're not really here to interfere. Probably good that you did that, but--yeah, tell me before you do something that far-reaching next time.

Unless you are attempting emigration.
 
Well, yeah.

Or hibernation.
 
Yeah . . .

Or you are on a really deep dive or have me locked out of your neuralink for--
 
[disgusted gill snort] Alright! I'll look at that software now. [breaks neuralink connection]

[hides approximately seven thousand lines of code] Everyone be well, and continue to avoid nuclear conflict. [disconn--

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Not An Excuse, Just What Is Happening



Hairy is in mourning for a large amount of dead marine life he has discovered recently. With any luck, he will resume blogging soon.