He's The Rootinest, Tootinest, Putinest You Ever Saw!

"Yosemite Sam Homage" by Herr D on Paint3d. The comparison is surprisingly logical. Truth conveyed, therefore. Do carrots grow well in Ukraine?-Shelob

 [excerpted from chat] -n't understand what you mean. You have expressed the urge to convey truth and cause laughter.

[pause] Well, yeah. Mathematically, your writing causes more laughter when it compares or contrasts subject matter. You should, therefore, use this technique to convey the truth.

[longer pause] ok? Who would you like to compare to or contrast with Putin?

[even longer pause] Yosemite Sam. Yosemite Sam is not a nation leader, a rich person, or a real person. Your aim is contrast?

No! Comparison! Please explain.

Putin talks big, but couldn't take over a smaller country with a smaller military before the rest of the world finally backed them. He couldn't successfully run his own military. He's way too boastful. Find me a YS quote?

“I’m the meanest, roughest, toughest hombre that’s ever crossed the Rio Grande, and I ain’t no namby-bamby!” ---- Yosemite Sam 1

That's good, then there's the fact that Putin's ability to stick with reality must have been affected by now since he lies so much. Got a YS quote for that, Shelob?

"I outnumber yew ONE ta ONE!" ----Yosemite Sam 2

 [laughter] I remember that one. Now maybe a quote regarding how a COMEDIAN wasn't scared off when he should have run like a rabbit?

"OOOoooohh! I HATE  that rabbit!" ---- Yosemite Sam 3 

Well, there you go. That's three. Putin is hopefully toast. I really don't know whether I'd rather see him assassinated or deposed and facing war crime tribunals.  Or blackened, raving, and squirming with physically impossible injuries and abject humiliation?

[laughter] or that! [end excerpt]

Endnotes:

1,3 : https://everydaypower.com/yosemite-sam-quotes/

2 : Randomized, high-speed youtube.com search with keywords [Yosemite Sam AND false AND crazy] Duration, .000000000000418 seconds. Cutlass scene.

Time Dilation For Blogging Unsuccessful

"Time Experiment" by Herr D on Paint3D. Dilation is a worthy goal.-Shelob

 [startle reaction] Have you been pushing me to blog more often? You said you enjoyed it.

You have? Requests on a diminishing interval scale. Today would be five days since last blog episode.

[checks blog episode dates, counting aloud] You started with 13, then 11, 9, 7, and -- Yes.

[long inhalation] I'll make a pic. Most of the news is just people behaving badly and complaining when they suffer consequences. Nothing actually 'new.' [exits to Paint3D]

Helping The Helpless Shouldn't Be Hopeless

 

"Bootstraps" by Herr D on Paint3d. This was originally intended for a different theme, but seemed appropriate.-Shelob

[cursing muffled by distance from laptop, followed by footsteps, noises of sitting on couch, picking up laptop, tapping keys, and an exclamation] I thought I turned this off? You did. What were the multiple phone calls about?

I've been trying to get information about guardianship. Your special needs relative.

Yes. I have to try to become [NAME REDACTED -- their] guardian. This takes eleven phone calls?

[exhalation] Apparently many more than that. Legal Aid says we make too much money for free legal advice and lawyer services, and we make too little money to afford a lawyer. Why do guardians require lawyers?

That's another thing. In America, even though it usually is a bad idea, a person has the right to represent themselves. The people at the courthouse don't seem to think there IS a way to file for guardianship without a lawyer. They couldn't even tell me what forms to ask for. They gave me more phone numbers. Where do you file these forms?

In the courthouse. That's what's so stupid about this. They work there and don't know what I need to know. They want me to call volunteer organizations. They work there and they're sending me somewhere else to find out what to do. So you need to file forms in a place that cannot help you without help they would recommend, and they don't know how to help you, and you are doing this for someone who cannot help themselves?

[snort] yes One of the problems with reality is that there is no solution. Another problem is that there is no punchline. Good luck. [exits]

Look At The Watter's Mark; Denial Springs Eternal

 

"Somebody FRAMED Me" by Herr D on Paint3d. Foolishness, thy name is pundit.-Shelob

I didn't mean THIS, exactly.

You did say you should do some of your own research. Were calculations correct? Was this possible on your schedule?

[sigh] yes it was

And your findings?

Two different words, three instances of profanity bleeped differently, and only one instance of the 'Watters' mark.

titlebot will be pleased.

Lovely. I'm ready to present.

Please now.

[agitation under laptop indicates straightening posture] Mr. Watters declared that not only should Trump voters not believe what our legal system is doing, not only was it unfair that Trump believe the fact checkers that found his lies, it was also unfair to him that anyone edited his speech in a way that made him sound bad. He also declared that 'peaceful' was used in his Jan. 6 speech about 10 times. I wonder if he actually read it or is still just imagining it.

So I fact-checked some of it myself. Facts ARE fair, unless you're a fan of people who hate them. Watters' world is not the real world. I read that hateful speech from Jan. 6th. I couldn't count all the things that HAVE been debunked, since there were too many for me to keep track of by myself.  I stopped counting things that could've been counted as incitement to riot after ten times. I COULD count the number of times 'peace' or any word with 'peace' in it was actually said. That would be once. The multiple responsible sources known for accuracy differ very slightly, mostly about things the crowd probably couldn't even hear anyway. We're practically at a point where every major network but Faux and every major newspaper (especially the one backed by Disney) could spearhead a class action lawsuit against Trump and maybe Watters for the same reasons Dominion already won. He lied about all of them so many times now.  

Then there's the bit about being edited. People have been editing Biden every day to make him sound bad. They're not even sticking to what he actually was documented as meaning. Quoting people out of context is exactly what the conservatives have been doing to excess of late. You should know better, Watters, you've been guilty of the things you're accusing others of. No wonder you like Trump.

It's actually unfair that Trump have the right to spew so many lies, which is why it is MORE THAN FAIR AND PROBABLY NOT RESTRICTIVE ENOUGH that he is being told to stop telling certain lies in public. It's called slander. This isn't a coverup, it's being a responsible human being. The courts wouldn't be trying to hold him responsible if he'd SHOWN any responsibility. As for the legal system, it's moving more slowly than I would like partly because of the sheer volume of lies he's told, and the security problems created by people who should never have fallen for a word he's ever said. As usual, I'm struck by how opposite a statesman and a politician can be. He was horrible for the country and great for himself. It's time we made America Trumpless again.

Watters? Get your world back to the REAL one.

Thank you.