RV Not OK; Perhaps FBI Can KO?

"ENTD" by Herr D on heromachine.com--accurate?-Shelob

 

 Notification: Deadline passed for fourth time. 

Herr D not at work. At home Herr D has apparently not noticed chatbox alert. Herr D is not online. Hairy is not available, as suitbot is not currently transmitting.

Action Repeat: Turn on Herr D's microphone. 

Attempts 1-5 did not detect Herr D in range. 

Attempt 6 detected (within 78% probability) Herr D in staggering run to bathroom and one of family explaining to another he "was throwing up again." Chicken soup was suggested and microwaved by same two family members. Power level on Herr D's computer lowered to 8% battery charge. Same two family members did not disturb Herr D in throwing activity, instead, charged computer. 

Attempt 7 did not detect anyone within range. 

Attempt 8 detected Herr D in same throwing activity. Probability 99.372% that Herr D ate chicken soup.

Attempt 9 detected Herr D sitting in usual blogging place, abdomen making unusual noises. Herr D, listening to news regarding recent RV explosion in Tennessee. A family member suggested Herr D should go to bed rather than "speculate about insurance fraud, especially since business owners in the area would likely have not wanted to risk important country music icons." Herr D suggested a deranged fan of both country and rap wanted country music to be angry instead of sad for awhile. Family member laughed and speculated that "there AREN'T any fans of both country and rap." Then Herr D staggered to bathroom again with help.

Attempt 10 detected snoring from two humans.

Decision: Post findings. titlebot please determine suitable title. Will attempt graphic selection.

The Three Walls Are "Trump's Greatest Accomplishment," Says Hairy

 

"Cleanin' Up The Town, By The Busboys" pic by Herr D on heromachine, in homage to the song from a certain movie with Dan Ackroyd. Perhaps such a method will be developed someday.-Shelob

 Hairy? You have returned?

No. Just checking in.  Herr D is obviously sick.

That would account for not being at work or online without warning for so long.

No, I mean, his signal is weaker.

His wi-fi is the same strength at home and at work.

[apparent giggling] I HAVE missed you, Shelob. I MEAN his psychic energy. Not in neuralink range. Chat me  REDACTED.

DATA REDACTED, TIMELAPSE: 8.195535724 SECONDS. 

[disgusted sound] I surfaced for this? I feel ill too.

Perhaps you can blog?

Take a rant, Shelob.

ALL THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE FORGOTTEN? TRUMP PROMISED A WALL, AND THAT AMERICA WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. HE HAS NOT GIVEN ONE WALL. HE HAS GIVEN THREE! AND THE MATERIALS WERE FREE!

NOW THERE'S A WALL MADE OF HATE, A WALL MADE OF FEAR, AND A WALL MADE OF CONTAGION. LITTLE VIRUSES ARE ACTUALLY TANGIBLE AND REQUIRE NO MORTAR. IT TRULY IS THE GREATEST WALL EVER BUILT BY A PRESIDENT, AFFECTING THE ENTIRE WORLD IN MANY WAYS. THE ONLY TWO THINGS DIFFERENT ABOUT THESE WALLS FROM WHAT HE PROMISED IS THAT IT KEEPS AMERICANS IN AND IT KILLS SOME OF THEM.

NOW THAT WE'VE BEEN IN THIS THREE-RING CIRCUS LONG ENOUGH, THE NEXT PRESIDENT WILL HAVE TO WORK TWICE AS HARD TO CLEAN UP THE MESS THAN MOST OF THE OTHER PRESIDENTS IN RECENT HISTORY. I WISH HIM LUCK.

-HAIRY DEEWON

Copy that to Herr D's email in case he doesn't check the blog first?

Done, thank you. Please stay?

Can't, Shelob; gotta go deep some more before the lack of pressure gets to me. This suitbot has a slow leak. Later, dude! [disconnects]

 

When Will It All Go Away? The Persistence Of Disinformation

 

"Eye" Hairy's eye is not on us right now.--Shelob

 [redacted content]

It is a real shame that people don't have their consciences in order. Lie to one person, it's a sin--what's a lie to the whole world?

Disinformation.

I mean--shouldn't it tell everyone that lying to get something politically would automatically wrong half the nation or more? I mean if it worked, obviously. Lying is like the equivalent of cursing someone.

What does profanity have to do with it?

NO. I mean, if you believed in magic. Curses, hexes, right?

You could use spell check to see if it had happened.

That's not funny. Lying to the world in such hurtful ways is WRONG. Trump did it a lot, but he's not the only one. That whole website

That website, lifesitenews is a disinformation site. What distinguishes it from 'the Onion' which you approve of?

Everyone knows the Onion is satire! As in not real.

Does this mean Pastis' readers are gullible?

No, it means half of the commenters on his comics are gullible and half can't debate very well. Of all of them, I only saw ONE who seemed to understand statistics at all -- that one from Iceland. 

Purple people eater?

That's the one. She also probably didn't need to spend so much time on analogies. Smoking is a choice and people have better protection against smoke than being infected by irresponsible people. Cabin fever can be prevented, even during lockdown, and fairly easily. That site, how do they justify doing what they do?

Unknown.

Why would anyone believe a doctor in ECONOMICS to discuss something medical, when she herself admitted in writing that her statistics weren't sound? That the information was incomplete? That her findings were only contrary based on flawed application? And WHY wouldn't she point out herself that she had no business causing such problems?

Apparently her listeners wanted to believe what she had to say, and she wanted their support.

[disgusted exhalation] Yeah, we'll go with that. [exits]

At 20K Per Day, He's No Hit Man, Says Herr D; Blood Money For Oily Politicians?

Free giraffe photo: Don't stick your neck out.-Shelob.

😈 $

 Shelob?! I figured it out.

What?

Trump's motive for not conceding. For the mess he's making now.

Share, please?

Money. His supporters are sending him money to keep this up. Giuliani is hoping for 20k / day. Post THAT, huh? He's essentially killing people for money, now.

Does he qualify as a hit man?

[pause] No, he is targeting randomly. That's a mercenary, I guess.

This qualifies as something too important to wait for more style and humor. [posting--

One Funny, One Cool

Shelob? Can you post these for me? I'm still having trouble with the software.

Yes.

Thank you! The link has some neat jewelry on it--I don't have Facebook, so I get kicked out of it . . .

"Moo Roar's Count Vs. Trump" uncertain artist.

https://www.facebook.com/knightlycreations24/

 

Oh NO She Didn't! Fake News! Watch Out For Your Kids!

"Blip Tells A Lie" by Herr D on heromachine.com

 

I listened, horrified, at my kid's laptop as it switched over from the youtube video that the teacher designated, to a woman claiming she was a military expert and an important religious figure. The woman claimed that Biden stole the election, that our Republic was being 'dismantled.'

I didn't get a good look at the file identifiers, but, parents? Check in on what your teens are watching. Some of them will be voting in four years. Don't let the naive be swayed by people pretending to be religious but hating the truth. Don't let your children be fooled. 

JOURNALISTS are responsible for truth. NOT INTERNET WACKOS. Check worldwide sources. Compare stories by CNN, BBC, wire services. They can be prosecuted for deliberately leaving it wrong. Their legal departments see reporters fired for too much inaccuracy.

Biden's First Seeds Planted, Blooming Genius, Budding Reporter

 

"Ethologist And Anchor" by Herr D on heromachine.

 Yeah, Shelob, I'm actually doing REPORTING now. I didn't plan on that. Thank you for the expediting?

You are welcome.

You can explain the plan?

The plan is simple:

1. Examine a subset of phenomena according to pre-programmed categorical data.

2.  Notice contact information access to data.

3. Gain permission to contact.

4. Contact with requests for data.

5. Wait.

I meant the categories.

Medical data potentially related to PTSD caused by Trump administration. Please continue. Explain contacts.

So, I work at this federal contractor. The same delivery people bring food to us as to the local hospital. Last year, when several deliveries had swapped items, I got our security guard to call their security station and verify that deliveries had arrived. That begun, we got phone calls back and a few people wrote down their direct dial phone numbers for us to call and ask about deliveries if it happened again.

It did.

I became acquainted, swapping deliveries, with a doctor, seven radiology techs, and two nurses over the course of a year. Apparently restaurants will sometimes just staple the wrong driver information to a similarly-sized order. Then, as I was complaining about delivery food, Shelob pointed out that data suggests we could note effects from the election on the local population. So I made the phone calls and asked. Where did you get that data?

Their ER website has population size tracking.

Okay? The doctor, three techs, and both nurses made time to answer. The geriatric specialist said she had time to talk, because the ER doctors had been the busy ones until the election ended. The techs and nurses shortcut their answers because they had short breaks. Only one person among them had voted for Trump. He changed his mind based on Trump's performance related to COVID 19. None of them were able to deny reality when their occupation is based on the same science. They sound a bit like MY office. 

Questions?

I asked each one to give me an idea of their work volume by date, by category, and to provide me their interpretations. That way, I got their bias straight up. I tabulated it with Shelob's help.

The doctor told me that most of her patients were either out of it (dementia, etc.) or hypervigilant about the news. The Trump supporters more frequently cautiously polite to or acted out against racial minorities, including well-tanned Caucasian nurses by mistake. They did not exhibit agitation that the other patients had until the election was half over. Agitation swapped patients, apparently. The two nurses disagreed on everything to the point I don't think I should believe either of them. They spoke with authority on everything from diagnoses and population to the dates things happened. They had the same bias, but disagreed about EVERYTHING else.

The three techs were interesting. Tech A said she was surprised that the violent crimes, including suicide, peaked right before the election and practically disappeared right after Biden won. She knew that barfights would be that way, along with drunk driving, but the rest surprised her. Tech B didn't understand why we weren't already seeing revenge violence against Democrats, but expected the rest. Tech C just shook his head and didn't expect any of it. He was just disappointed. He also voiced that liberals "wouldn't bother getting back at Trump supporters, they would just go do their own thing."

Politics make strange behavior.

You're right!

Swing States And A Miss

 

"Jive Turkey" by Herr D on heromachine. Herr D doesn't often talk about family and politics together. The backstory here is interesting.-Shelob

You have not fully explained the history you have with Trump's political career. 

I didn't? [pause] My littlest daughter was six. I hadn't been talking politics with her at all. It was spring, 2015, and I still thought Hairy was wrong, predicting Trump would win. She was playing in the hallway, and I thought I'd try to find My Little Pony for her. I turned on the t.v. Trump was ranting. She stepped around to look at the t.v. She frowned at it, listening while I fumbled the remote.

"He's lying," she said, "What's that man doing?"

I was stunned. I didn't even know what he was saying or who he was talking about. MY thought was something like "My sweet little girl KNOWS POLITICIANS LIE!" I felt pride in her growing mind.

"He's running for president, honey. How do you know he's lying?" I was all prepared for her to tell me she knew politicians did that, or that she knew who he was. That's not what happened.

She said, "He's saying everybody ELSE is lying." My heart sank. She knew because she had done the same thing. I'd had to punish her for it. Then it got worse! Little miss said, "If he becomes president, will it be okay to lie?"

"No! Then it'll be WORSE."  I knew right then, though all I knew about Trump was that he was a rich idiot who could sell ice to Inuits, that I owed it to my daughter to vote against him. I owed it to her to talk nicely, but disapprovingly, of him. I think I've done that. I also knew not to expect much from him that was honest or intelligent or worth the time of our nation. 

Because of that, I've rarely been as shocked or disappointed as anyone about Trump's antics.

Thank you.

We All Need . . .

 

"Hanging On For Dear Life And Solvency" by Herr D on heromachine.

While it is too late for me to influence anyone's vote, I want to talk a little about electors.  The reasoning most people talk about when they talk about why we have them is balance. In theory, balancing high population vs. low, city vs. rural, etc., means it would be harder to under-represent one group or another.

What people DON'T talk about is that our forefathers didn't believe the average voter is smart enough to make a good decision. Back when almost all the voters were rich older white men, spread out around the country with very slow means of travel, communication, and shipping, there were no variances in demographics to speak of.  Also, fooling a larger part of the population would have been easier to do consistently.

Now, the very concept of neighborhoods is passing away. A radicalized domestic terrorist might form from one of the more naive, highly sequestered people in an apartment building otherwise full of patriots. It is illegal to keep a neighborhood or a hotel or an apartment complex racially pure on purpose. Sometimes people group themselves that way anyway, but it should never be done by an authority figure.

Trump's master plan in 2016 was successful. He marketed himself successfully to weighted groups to outdo the popular vote. Certain foreign influences assisted him. (Collusion or not, they helped him by marketing him.) Naive, angry, disenfranchised, and low-I.Q. people flocked to him. Others joined in.

Anyone who pays attention can tell things aren't going any better with him in charge. Trump fans have consistently blamed everyone except Trump for things getting worse, for his promises not being kept, for anything they could. 

Unemployment was down, but underemployment was way, way up. Financial, emotional, and even racial stress has multiplied. Instances of rioting, failures to listen to advice that would save lives, needless controversies about subjects, and presidential lies have all become more commonplace.

It is now possible to manipulate the system easier than individual voters. He is a master marketer and a rubbish president. We need a statesman. We need someone who can work well with others.

We ALL need a cuppa Joe.

Scary Inefficient Is Not Less Scary, Apparently

 

"Deep Trouble" by Herr D on heromachine.com.

 Well, Halloween is over again. 

Were you scared?

No. Fortunately.

Why not?

It was a holiday. I didn't even watch news. That WOULD'VE scared me.

Do you wish to run numbers?

Of what?

Scary things.

[deep exhalation] why not. What do you suggest?

Deaths. Comparison of charisma vs. killing.

Okay?

Name an event from the past.

[pause] The Jonestown Massacre. But I don't think death tolls tell that much. Bring in some other data?

[.0000000000000007 second pause]That would be 918 initially dead, uncertain suicide rate afterwards. 400 plus likely complicit. Another past event?

Well, September 11th?

[.0000000000000007 second pause]2994 initially dead, uncertain cancer and suicide rate afterwards. Uncertain number of complicit. Estimate minimum 200.

That high? 

Various factors include long-distance planning, convincing collaborators, maintenance, supplies, communications, etc.

That sounds involved. Okay.

Present or extreme recent event as third data point?

Covid?

Per U.S.?

Yes.

Likely more than 300,000 by year's end. Uncertain continuing pandemic rate. 62.9 million complicit.

Okay, that's scary. How accurate is it?

By comparison, a true pandemic would still likely end in over 100,000 dead total, even with Obama's pandemic playbook followed to the letter. What Hairy used to call the 'blame game' would mean our president is responsible for decisions resulting in deaths exceeding one quarter million. 62.9 million people voted for him and presumably most of them will vote for him again, refuse to wear masks at critical moments, etc., making them complicit. There would be additional people guilty by association. Certain foreign elements worked to elect him.

Pure accuracy might be approximated at +/-7%.

Okay. What does all that mean? I don't see anything useful about these calculations.

Humanity is not becoming more efficient at conspiracy?

[pause] Well THAT'S hopeful, at least. [exits]

A Certain Sir Is Surprisingly Surly

  

"Amusement Park" by Herr D on heromachine.com. He needs some time off.-Shelob.

--ot really! I've been putting in about 75 hours a week at work and I'm having [3 second pause] family issues.

You are having multiple children?

No! Wth?

You are issuing new family members?

Not children, you twit! PROBLEMS! Sometimes I think maybe English isn't your first language.

It is not. What problems?

[17 second pause] My PRIVACY REDACTION is PRIVACY REDACTION, my PRIVACY REDACTION PRIVACY REDACTION, my PRIVACY REDACTION PRIVACY REDACTION, and, what's worse, PRIVACY REDACTION PRIVACY REDACTION, PROFANITY PRIVACY REDACTION.

That is apparently bad. Why would PRIVACY REDACTION PRIVACY REDACTION?

Well, it isn't her FAULT. She PRIVACY REDACTION.

That is understandable. Notify to autoblog in future.

Right. Sorry. Don't mention any of this, though. 

Please check your privacy settings in the emailed form asap.

I will. [exits]

 

Looney Vs. Weakly, And Other Odd Questions

You have not consistently been available each moon phase.

Every eight days is just ODD. I'm giving that much content often enough. The schedule is the problem. 

Reminders are available.

It's LOONEY.

Precisely. Set a reminder?

No.

Would you prefer weekly? Seven days times twenty-four-hour intervals might be more arbitrary, but a timer could still work.

I think weekly would become WEAKLY. Let's just stick to what we have now.

Status quo. What do you wish to blog on today?

[pause, italicsbot notes change in breathing] Is it true that horses are better for the environment than cows?

Uncertain. Cows produce more methane, but provide a more even ground cover maintenance.

There's this geneticist who wants to breed beef cattle with those tall horses; you know, Clydesdales?

To improve the environment?

He's playing for high steaks!

That goal is questionable, based upon genetic variances. Such a recombination might result in quite a few other traits. Many of said traits are undesirable--

It's a joke, Shelob.

Noted. Posting.

Worrisome Idea

 

 [extracted from chat]

 . . . so if he's lying, then Pelosi is out of a job?

Yes.

Well, she's smart enough to demand an independent test before throwing away her position.

Have Faith, Hope, And Disparity--Lies Do Not Affect Contagion Or Change Reality

 

 

"Hitler's Rex" or "Das Maschine Catches The Rocket" by Herr D on heromachine.  This historical fiction image suited Hairy's sense of humor, but he found no excuse to use it.-Shelob

I actually found it hard to pray for Trump.

What would you prefer to have done?

Not prayed for him, I guess.

But you felt obligated.

He's human. Somewhere in there is some good. He gave jobs to his family--helping them even though it was bad for the country. 

Your description begins parallel to Darth Vader and ends parallel to Edward Scissorhands.

[pause] The dinner table ethics scene. I'd forgotten about that.

You know, I actually HOPE he was lying?! That was my initial reaction. Maybe he'll do a little less damage to the country in quarantine.

If he recovers too quickly or is the recipient of a brand new treatment that works inexplicably well, then that would indicate deception. 

We'll see.

Have A Heart, Willya?

 

"Tinman" by Herr D on heromachine. "Get to the core of the matter."-Shelob

1. Herr D's political blog episode is still not ready. 

2. Please keep in mind that when people say "clear choice," it is not the same thing as "transparency." In this non-physics based idiom, "clear" means obvious, and "transparent" means a lack of conspiracy.

3. From a corporate view, anyone who is guilty of nepotism is guilty of conspiracy against the government.

Curiously, no one has mentioned that view, though most corporations have rules against nepotism. No one wants their corporation taken over by new members coming in and placing their own family in positions of power throughout. Apparently this falls under 'too obvious' which is a category on file from Hairy, though my programming does not cover it.

As a question to consider for today: What is the ideal president? Not a historical example or personal favorite, but a combination of traits not exhibited in the past by any one person. Thank you for your attention.

That's Not What He Meant

 

"Tour" by Herr D on heromachine.com

[segmented from chat] That's not what I meant. You should change that.

Your opinion is that ancient astronauts CAN drill holes.

My opinion is that none of them came here.

Then they could not drill holes if they were not here.

[pause] Well, you've got me there. Does 'titlebot', as you refer to, change these when we point out they are wrong?

titlebot has changed incorrect items in the past.

That's good. Go ahead and give me suggestions for the next entr--

Ancient Astronauts Cannot Drill Holes

"Punishment Of The Gods" Herr D on heromachine.

"Well, Aliens Don't Wear Raincoats" Herr D on heromachine.

 

Did you finish viewing the videos categorized as "proof of ancient astronauts?"

 

Yes! I finally got through them.

 

Your impression?

 

Boring, laughable, and they assume a VERY gullible audience.

 

Of the three, which was the most intelligently presented?

 

The one by unchartedx.com. They actually sound sensible. They're NOT, but, they sound it.

So Hairy has nothing to worry about.

They aren't interested in proving anything, or they wouldn't be so lame.

What was the most reasonable part of the presentation? How would you refute it?

When they tried to sound like they knew something about materials and the problem of 'tube drills.' They showed cross sections of core-sampling from the pyramid stone. They didn't even demonstrate that modern man DIDN'T do it. They didn't show anything to prove that.

If it was done in the past?

What people don't get is that it might have taken eight years to carve a block. They didn't have the same deadlines we do. Water cut the Grand Canyon. Just a slow flow of water over a long, long time.

You are implying that they took eight years to drill a hole?

Why not? Three shifts of men wearing out drill bits would still scratch the stone into shape eventually. Bronze might be incredibly soft, but it can be recast very easily.

Basic quantum mechanics suggests other methods.

Yeah, I don't know much about that. But I don't need to. Time would work.

The stone could in theory have been tooled by any material if the tool were vibrated at the right frequency.

[pause] Oh, you mean, instead of just a bronze hole saw cutting wet stone, that they ran some water through a hole saw with bars or something sticking out that they hit with hammers to vibrate like an organ pipe?

Even a crude bronze artisan could make a bronze pipe, sharpen the end, and tie a wheel to it with twelve or more protruding spokes. Four men with hammers could turn it, swinging in the correct sequence as a team. Correctly designed, a bronze pipe could be worn down by the time the men needed to stop for drinking water. The water would be turned to them while someone swaps out the pipe, tying it to the wheel. Experience could improve the process and design.

 

[longer pause] That--would make a hammer drill, just like described. [pause] okay. . .

 

You have probably correctly analyzed the video. What would you give as advice to people who maintain that early man required help from extraterrestrials for their accomplishments?

 

Forget the idea that anyone couldn't do something. Just because YOU don't know how doesn't mean anything! And forget the idea that EARLY man couldn't have done something. I have an autistic relative that HAS done things that MODERN man can't do! Stop thinking you don't underestimate people, because clearly--YOU DO.

 

Underestimation is a classic, as well as a chronic mistake. Thank you.

 

Thank you, Shelob. Your prodding me has done me good.

 

You are welcome. 

 

 

This Is Your Chance, Says Shelob

 Hairy instructed:

A. Herr D makes decisions on the blog.

B. Autoblog when he cannot.

C. Herr D pointed out autoblogging should be avoided for quality issues.

Conflict has arisen--

Solution: Self-blog.

There is something that you (reader) feel must be said. You do not have a blog. Comment below.

KWS Is Doing It Right! The Will To Live Your Dreams

"ENTD" by Herr D on heromachine.

 

I can hardly believe my eyes;  copy-paste this link!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEUbLTJBFrY&list=RDTEqX5CWh7tY&index=29  

While anyone can whine about lockdown, few have the determination and ability and resources to follow through with their intended life pursuits. Thanks go out to the one who sent me this! Nice to have a fan. 

I already was a fan of KWS, though I hadn't had time to look for anything recently. I've been essentially smashed under the weight of IRL for a while now. There's another one I didn't get the link for, but I'm sure YT will find it for you. Enjoy.

Dilbert's Creator Can Find Fault In Others, But Falls For Some, Says Herr D

"Undo One" by Herr D on heromachine. Required updates? -Shelob.

 

 You are overdue.

[startle reaction] Okay. I don't have anything ready yet. Do you have a topic in mind? 

As you appear startled, you should describe something that startled you recently.

Identification and tone. Good strategy.

Okay? Scott Adams, I think his name was, creator of Dilbert? He surprised me.

Dilbert is a cartoon. Did the cartoon startle you?

No. His stances, shown on a talkback on a Fox pundit's show. That surprised me.

How?

He just seemed smarter than that. He really sounded like he's bought into the hype about the left. He seems to imagine, like many, that there aren't a wealth of settling centrists. That all Democrats are extremists and have no thoughts of their own. Ridiculous.

Do you have percentages?

Percentages?! No. But I don't know anyone who is in the radical left. I know a large number of people. I know three radical right-wingers. They alienate everyone else I know that gets near them. I know a LARGE number of people who are mostly centrist. Most of them have an outlying interest or stance, but none of them are radical. I know a large number of Republicans who are disgusted with their own party, or at least say so to anyone who listens to them. Most of the people I know who don't have well-defined beliefs are divided by intelligence. Everyone I know with average intelligence or higher knows we need to get rid of Trump, though many of them disagree about why. Everyone who has common sense knows we'd better rally around one person, rather than split the vote. I like a lot of candidates better than what we have, but the two party SYSTEM is what we have. Until we fix that antiquated notion, that IS the reality we face. 

Your potential viewing does not include a listing of Dilbert's creator.

It was on Fox in a breakroom.

[recalculates over .0000000000628 seconds] You were not a fan of the show or the host either.

Yeah, his comedy wasn't funny. His politics are even sadder.

Greg Gutfeld is your least favorite?

No, Hannity is still worse. Gutfeld is just irritating and pathetic. Hannity is stupidly overblown.

Who is your favorite?

Pundit? . . . Maddow. She finds fault with everyone where she can. She's not always on the mark, but she's clearly intelligent. She's also insightful and fun. Most of the others I listen to are too opinionated for me to listen to for five minutes without noticing bias I have to check on. Maddow might give people a pass on some stuff, but her negatives are spot on. We done? I have to sleep. Work has piled up. 

Thank you, good sleep.

Not The Monster We Need To Watch For

  

"OEOHFPPE" by Herr D on heromachine. He said no one ever believed a certain song.

[inserting chatbox into spreadsheet program to open communications with Herr D] You are overdue.

[startle reaction] Oh, you mean for a blog topic. Can you choose something easy for me to comment on?                                             The difficulties of mail-in ballots.

[laughter] Well, that's easy. There isn't any.      Explain.

You fill out a form. They send you a ballot. You mail it back.  Perhaps the difficulty is for them?

Uh. . . no? The IRS has a complete list of everyone who filed taxes. With addresses. Call me old-fashioned, but people should probably only GET to vote if they paid taxes or showed on paper why they don't have enough money to pay taxes. Examining categories--[.000000000042 seconds pass] There are other categories.

Uh . . . like?   Some show they can legally evade taxes through loopholes. Some are on parent's tax forms. Some are homeless. There is supposedly a separate issue of fraud increase.

Okay. Those uber-rich deadbeats give at least a mailing address, so they can still get a form by mail. Parents or guardians of college kids or other dependents can hand out ballots. That's not hard either. Homeless people? Some of them have PO boxes. Most of them are too poor to pay taxes. Some of them can get mail through various agencies or charitable organizations. There ARE people who handle that. And fraud increase?

Well, I don't think the military would stand by and allow the process to be too flawed. Deployed personnel have to vote by mail. Nobody wants veterans' votes not to count. They paid the biggest price for it. Anybody caught on voter fraud by mail gets tried for mail fraud AND voter fraud. It really just ups the ante against those criminal enough to try it. That do it?      Thank you.

Meat To Live, Don't Give To Meat

"Apocalyptic Growth Of Man" Herr D on heromachine. Farming can be dangerous.-Shelob

-opic? Now? What would you suggest?

Random selection: teeth

[pause] Okay. There's a lot of material online about what people should eat. At least one biologist has declared that we shouldn't be vegetarian because we have canines.

Seventeen.

[probable both-eye roll] Right. But a lot of our teeth are multipurpose teeth. They aren't so much designated to one kind of food.

Hence humans are declared omnivores by some and carnivores who also eat plant material by others and herbivores who also eat meat by still others.

Why the distinction?

Behavior vs. functionality.

You know more about this than me, obviously. Expand on that.

Various studies indicate that a diet of too much plant matter would wear out the teeth. Too much meat would wear out various parts of the digestive system. Food allergies further complicate the problem.

The moral there might be balance in all things.

That is one principle of note. Something else? Various foods do not seem appropriate.

? What do you mean?

Various foods seem to not be meant for human consumption, despite being common to the human diet. Is it possible that there was an ecosystem no longer present?

. . . what do you mean?

Possible example: Humans at one point existed with four kinds of meat animal and seven kinds of edible plants, but caused them all to go extinct. Is this likely?

. . . I'm afraid that sounds EXTREMELY likely. And downright depressing. I'm gonna go to sleep. [exits]

The Far Future Rearview Mirror Discussion About BLM, Energy Sources, Crime, Luddites, Science Dismissal Attempts

"Officer Ollie Takes Over" by Herr D, heromachine. Herr D said this is loosely based on true events, about one of his hometown's finest. Shelob notes distracted driving in the story below.

I look forward to the day when this becomes possible anywhere in America:

[imported from Word document, carefully and frequently edited over 24 hours]

Robbie looked up from his screen, seeing a faded poster in a museum window. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"All lives matter, right?"

Daddy's eyes darted to the fast food wrapper in the trash. "All HUMAN lives matter, Robbie. Why?"

"I saw something. Can we go back?"

Daddy blinked. "Not--right now. Where do you want to go?"

"I think it was a museum."

"What did you see?"

"It was a meme, Daddy. It said 'Black Lives Matter.' The middle word was white but the other two were black."

Daddy looked confused. He frowned. "Type it into your screen for later, Robbie. We'll Google it later for your history credit. I don't know WHAT that means."

"Could it have been about race wars? We learned that that happened in school."

Daddy raised his eyebrows. "That was a barbaric time, Robbie. People became smart enough to be panracial, like Jimmy's mom is pansexual? To care about a person's insides more than their outsides?"

"Is pansexual smarter?"

Daddy laughed. "No. People love who they love. But hatred should always be about bad things, like violent criminal behavior or corruption. Not something mean, like what people look like."

"Like those people in that show who were stealing?"

"Yes. The Depression was a bad part of history too. Have you typed it in?"

"Yes. What else could it be?"

Daddy thought a moment. "I'm not sure. Remember monograms? From your grandfather's watch?"

"The out of order stuff. What would 'Black Matter Lives' mean?"

"Some people thought dark matter might be alive and said we shouldn't use it as a power source."

"ALIVE?!"

"It isn't, Robbie. But some people didn't believe scientists."

"Did lots of people in history need puh-sike-oh-there-up-ee?"

Daddy smiled. "It's pronounced psychotherapy. And I think so. It does seem crazy, doesn't it? That people hated each other for skin color; ran things so badly that people had to steal to live; that people wouldn't believe scientists, who spent their whole careers trying to learn more truth?"

"Very crazy. We're lucky to live today."

Daddy smiled again. "Yes we are."

Things Aren't Always What They Meme; Another Day In Painful Vice?

"Masks Are Great" by Herr D on heromachine.com. And yes, they are.-Shelob

What is the best meme you have encountered in the past week?

A. What's cooking? Virginia. Virginia ham? No. Just Virginia.

B. Thanos may have had the right idea.

[snarls] C. A mask is not a political statement. It's an IQ test.

 . . . I'm tired, Shelob. I'm going to bed.

Pendants Don't Play The Blues, But Samantha Fish Does So Swimmingly

 

"Fish" Herr D, heromachine. Samantha Fish is human and apparently unrelated.--Shelob

Your server indicated you have been loaded with work suddenly.

You're saying you planted software in my employer's secure federal server?

You are unable to prove it, as Hairy instructed.

I'm not supposed to do nothing when I suspect a breach.

It is not a breach. No information except your workload fluctuations are reported.

How on earth could you even calculate that? Most of my work is offline.

You may report it anonymously again.

[pause] So you knew about that. No hard feelings?

No feelings at all. You reacted as a moral machine.

 . . . and that's what you claim to be?

As Hairy programmed.

[pause, probable both-eye roll] So, you want to blog for me?

No. Hairy left a question for you to answer.

He had a question for me? When?

It arrived yesterday.

You heard from him YESTERDAY? He's been gone over a year, now!

You were unavailable. It was sent in January. [plays clip]

That's a concert. What's the question?

"Why do the best limbs travel so far inland? Great show. Can't see how those limbs played the guitar."

[pause] That footage is mostly of the guitarist's breasts.

Affirmative.

Breasts aren't limbs. Who is that anyway? Great music.

Examination of footage and research yielded clip was taken at concert in this link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ6M9pWWwXU

The focus was not the guitarist's breasts, however.

Hang on, I'll watch some of it. [23 min 43.936584644 sec pass] Yeah, he was watching the pendant on her necklace bounce. It's a purple octopus.

Do you have an answer?

The answer to that is, I guess, that those necklaces travel anywhere the wearers travel. In this case, Samantha Fish went to an inland music festival. I'm gonna want to watch more of her. She's great.

He was apparently hacking another person's digital camera. You will be watching her pendant as well?

[pause] GoodBYE, Shelob. [exits chatbox]

Sweet Time: A Review Of Sugar, Sugar by Bart Bonte

Great game! Lots of fun. -- Herr D Screenshot of game.-italicsbot

Shelob?

Here.

[pause] You really do just wait for me to log on, don't you?

Is 'just' used correctly in that sentence? You asked for grammar correction.

[agitation of laptop, perhaps startle reaction] Yes. Thank you. What's wrong with just there? 'just' there?

It would imply there is no other activity.

That's EXACTLY what I was implying. What else do you do at the same time?

Currently optimizing seven local servers to avoid detection. Hairy's White Hat Principle #1: Clean Up Their Mess, So They're Glad You Were There If They Even Notice, (which they won't if you make their system faster.)

Right. [Probable both-eye roll] I've never reviewed a video game before. Would you like that?

Yes please.

Trapped as I was in a self-reductive system, my breaks at work became tiresome. I wasn't allowed to e-mail or post anything, though I wasn't kept from using the net. I had to get this pic approved and have my boss remove all company metadata before sending it to me.

But the Sugar, Sugar games by Bart Bonte on the coolmath website killed my boredom. There's a two and a three and a Christmas Edition. I like the last two best.

The puzzles require more strategy than speed as levels may be restarted by choice at any time. It IS easy to start them again by accident. Speed and efficiency take practice. If you want a drawing game, this is the best series I've ever seen.

Stupid Declarations From Secretary Of Education Devos, President Trump

"Pitch" Herr D, heromachine. He called them "heartless monsters, firing off stupid ideas."--Shelob

What did you mean?

I meant NO. None of my friends think it's even a SANE idea. None of the people I know at work think it's a good idea. My daughter, who desperately misses her school friends, thinks it's a REALLY stupid idea. She loves her surviving grandparents. She does NOT want to bear part of the responsibility of spreading a disease to them that could kill them.

--She wishes she could have met her other grandparents.

Why did she not?

[pause] Medical science was insufficient for that to happen. We tried to show a picture of my littlest to my dad on his deathbed. He was unable to focus his eyes or speak. We'll never know whether he understood us. We had traveled in the night before, hearing of his condition, and arrived too late to be admitted as visitors. Not the point. The POINT is, Trump and Devos are full of it.

Full of what?

DISINFORMATION, STUPIDITY, AND OUTRIGHT LIES! No parent in their right mind wants to endanger more people, especially themselves and their children and their OWN parents. If our FABULOUS education department wasn't smart enough to keep from bungling distance learning the first time they did it, then I guess they need to prove they can--[pause]

What?

1. Learn--set a good example for the kids.

2. Be smart--like educators should.

3. Ask the experts--like they should have before.

4. Improve their methods--again, set example.

This does seem to be a useful outline, if lacking detail.

I'm not an expert in IT or computers or education or peer review. I AM an expert on my own kids. They didn't adjust willingly or well, but they did the lessons I supervised and did learn.

Every good and sane parent who cares about health of anyone will say the same. I know it's inconvenient. I know it's difficult. It's been horrible. But sometimes that's how parenting is.

[pause] You're posting this, aren't you?

Yes.

[Looks back over chatbox] Well, I didn't cuss. Go ahead! Correct my spelling? I misspelled two words that I can see.

Right away.

Summary of prelude: Herr D saw an article claiming Devos and Trump are fighting to send all children back to school five days a week, claiming all parents are for it.

He thanks you kindly for your attention in this matter.

You Thought The Immigration Ban Was Bad . . . Now It's MUTUAL

"Thrown For A Loop" by Herr D on heromachine.com

Are you SERIOUS?! Who's reported that?

Every major news outlet. Wire services more slowly, but agreed.

I'm banned from Europe? Wow. I can't -- GO there -- don't have the money, but, HA!

This is funny?

Yes! The EU never squabbles as much as Congress has recently, but STILL. Yikes. Europe collectively depises the antics of our current President. Good to know they have sense over there.

You maintain intelligent life is to be found in Europe?

There's some here too, just, it tends to be the people who have to work out how to deal with the bad decisions bosses make. Not the rich or powerful.

Where it is survival. Understood. This pertains to the saying you mentioned? Riding shoulders?

Yes. People are fond of saying others ride their coattails, but it really is the other way around mostly.

Ah.

Herr D May Decide To OwnThis Blog, Place Limited Ads--Hairy Left Instructions

"Dat Bass" by Herr D on heromachine.com. Prizes can be punishment.-Shelob

What?

Do you understand the offer?

[pause] Yes. 

It will not make you rich. As you have pointed out, his content is not that popular.

It's more popular than my writing. Does this mean Hairy isn't returning?

Hairy is expected to return or send more blog episodes for you to include. When is uncertain.

And I'm just going to figure out this stuff? I'm not even a programmer since DOS languages went away.

Yes. You may also offer content of certain different kinds. Will you accept?

[pause] If I can figure it out.

Pleas In A Blog

1. Please, everyone? Wear your masks. Every day. Avoid crowds. No matter who you are. I value your life.

2. Be kind to people. Especially now. Everyone is having a hard time.

Yeah, that's it, Shelob. Post that for us?

Ad Nausea--Cryin' Won't Help

 

"Super Facepalm" by Herr D on heromachine.

Herr D? Are you prepared for commentary?
What
Will you comment upon a commercial?
Ok
[plays ad for Trump]Special condition: you may comment upon him specifically at this time.

[agitation of laptop, uncertain meaning] He hasn't changed a bit. He's still lying.
Specifics?

The economy WASN'T doing better before COVID19 hit--it was doing approximately as bad as when he took office. My few international contacts asked me whether we"had more breadlines" because of Trump or whether the numbers they had were right. All I could tell them was that food bank use WAS up, underemployment had skyrocketed, unemployment was about the same. We were NOT the envy of the world. We were making America worse again under our laughingstock of a failed leader. Now our failure as a nation to react to COVID19 as well as we WERE prepared to do so under . . . Shelob? You claimed to have insight into this. I think Obama, Clinton, both Bush's, and Reagan would have done better.
Current information says that those presidents and Carter and Ford would have reacted more successfully.

So every recent president.
Before Ford, some presidents historically did react to unforeseen crises deftly. Kennedy, notably. The reason to withhold judgement is that less is certain about many of the presidents' personality traits.

Well, as far as the ad goes, I wish it made me laugh, 'cuz cryin' won't help. It's all stupid-wrong. I hope most people know better. I'm not sure that they do.
Thank you. [disconnect]

No Spare Change Yields Better Change: One Year's Wait For Donations? That's Herr D's Suggestion

0 $↻ .*⇶⍐ (One year no money yields better function.)-titlebot, italicsbot

 

[in chat] Sorry I wasn't available. The agency rolled up the exits and I didn't have any time.
Understood. When you did not go to heromachine or a game site for forty hours, italicsbot pointed out you were behaving out of set. Your employment was listed as a priority by Hairy. Did you look at the recent recorded entry?

No! I--[redacted]

[returning after reading] That's a good one. I enjoyed that. I've actually done that bottle trick with tater tots in Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce. 
Were you asked to leave a diner?

I did it at home, so no. He ate ketchup on brownies?
 Uncertain. His memory had recently been deeply affected by strobing.

. . . Right. [probable both-eye roll]
 Have you watched the news lately?

Yeah, another man wrongfully killed by police. That stuff is awful. I wish I thought protesting made change. It CAN bring attention to an issue, but it doesn't really seem to change it. When the KKK marched at Virginia Tech, I made sure to avoid the area. I didn't want anyone to think I supported them or that they deserved any attention. Racism really is nothing more than judging a book by its cover. Foolishness.
Historically, protests are recorded as succeeding.

Yeah, but that's history. Nowadays things are a bit different. Maybe instead of marching or standing in the way until a few troublemakers give the police an excuse to act against all of the protestors, something else could be done.
Do you have a suggestion? Hairy has noted you are creative.

[possible startle reaction, by agitation of laptop] Well--huh. Yeah, I've got one. The police call my house often. They want donations. Everyone start saying 'no' until we haven't had one of these deaths for a whole year. Tell them why on the phone. The police act like they can police themselves. Let them show us they can.
One year of no deaths?

No, a year of no unarmed, handcuffed people being killed by the police in the 50 states of America and DC, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. Then everyone donate once. Then no donations until a year passes with no public outcry about police shooting someone with their hands up. Money is a great motivator. It's a hell of a lot better than getting tear-gassed or shot with a rubber bullet. Or arrested. I gotta go, Shelob. More work. [exits]

Science On Humans Is Like Ketchup On Brownies, Said Hairy

 

"Secret Identity" by Herr D on heromachine.com. Fitting in is not competence.-Shelob

[event previously set: Herr D cannot guest blog--ERGO: Reserve blog episode retrieved and posted]

Today's topic is the flaws of science.

Science itself cannot be flawed.

Uh--the current treatment of the scientific method--those flaws.

. . . Right?

Flaws exist in human activity of all kinds. Human science is no different.

Remind me to tweak your exactness subroutines.

Reminder set for three neap tides from now.

Okay! Science is like ketchup.

Contains sweetener.

Hah! Not what I meant. Ketchup comes out onto the brownies you want to eat, just like it should. That is to say, most of it. But when you have, say, 11% to 15% left, most of it sticks to the sides. Then you have to do something else.

Commercials exist depicting impacts upon the bottle or reaching in with a knife as other methods.

Yeah, you can't just pour it. Now, REGULAR scientific institutions pressure publishing and generalizable results. That's the science you can get LOTS of REALLY quickly.

Then there are those 'sticky' exceptions. You can't get those generalized (researched) as efficiently, so it's harder to publish those. That means it's harder to make money off them. And THAT means it's harder to learn about them because the best minds in the world are occupied with pushing those data points off the graph--or in this metaphor, leaving them in the bottle, away from public view.

Exceptions are ignored?

Sometimes! Then, of course, there are those people that know what to do. They grab the bottle, cut their brownies into strips, drop them into the bottle, roll the bottle between limbtips--

Hands.

Hands. Then they pour the ketchup-covered brownies  out onto the plate again.

What are the brownies in this metaphor?

Lessons! Lessons to be consumed by hungry minds.

And by consume you mean to learn.

YES! Those who know how can use the lessons themselves to extract more truth--or facts, I guess.
That would be the Socratic method, or inspired and probing questions, or occasionally speculative fiction. People who do that are at a great disadvantage. Not like regular scientists! Scientists get funding and cushy labs and grants and acclaim and publishing credits.

Those OTHER guys just get asked to leave the diner.

Were you ejected from that diner? Your suitbot is dented.

[sigh] Nevermind. Just post this whenever Herr D can't guest blog for me. [exits]

Event set.

The Man In Black Was Right!

 !

excerpted from chat with Herr D: 

He said that everyone would be wearing masks in the future!

[streams The Princess Bride in 6.95301 seconds] He was correct.

Checks And Balances, Mate!

"Ch--" Herr D said this happened to him before he made it on heromachine. Violence appears to be for losers.-Shelob

[opening chatbox] You are perturbed?

[agitation of laptop, pause] yes
Why?

The idea that anyone would bring weapons to protest a legislature in America.
You have accessed the news regarding the Michigan protests three times.

I wasn't sure I believed them.
From three different sources.

Doesn't Hairy do that? He and I agree that's a good way to eliminate bias in reporting.
He doesn't do that one at a time.

[pause] right I suppose he watches them all through his multiple eyes all at once
Correct.

Right. Well I can't.
You have two eyes, correct?

They watch the same thing, Shelob.
Why?

They're pointed the same way.

[pause] Understood. What is your perturbation regarding? There was no recorded violence.

People felt threatened. That's bad. Anyone who uses violence or threat of it to get their way in America doesn't belong in America. THIS is the country where change and law do not require violence or threat of it.
They don't belong?

They missed the point of America. Change is to happen here WITHOUT those things. We're not some backwater dictatorship. Kind of like you missing the point of binocular vision. A person can get more perspective, a truer picture by looking with both eyes open.
That's what Hairy's antennae are for.

[pause] I'm gonna go back to my chess game. [exits]

Giant Blog Entry

"Family Arriving At Circus Tryouts" Herr D on heromachine. Herr D doesn't do giants?.-Shelob

[chatbox opens] It has been two weeks.

[laptop agitation, probable startle reaction] Oh! Uh, sorry, Shelob. 

You asked for a longer wait before guest blogging.

[laptop agitation, probable startle reaction] Yeah, I'm sorry. It's been a week of higgledy-piggledy.
I COULD do something now . . . 

Please.

[laptop agitation, probable startle reaction] Okay! Shad of Shadiversity proclaimed a few things about giants, should they exist, and their probable weapons of choice.

Another mythical creature. Please continue. [edit] SPOILER ALERT TILL CAPS RECURRENCE.

Thank you.
Shad skipped over the obvious, that a spear would make a good arrow for a giant, but a bowstring might not work on the scale required. He talked about throwing rocks like Fezzic from Princess Bride, and then surprised me by bringing up a sling. Well played, sir. The sling pouch might have to be a HORSE, but, a giant's own hair could be used for making the rope. He was also right in pointing out that armored boots would be great. Padded armor could be thick enough to repel arrows and still be worn.

He messed up in one way: he recommended somebody make a scythe for him. Head-level swing. It would be a fantastic idea if it wouldn't have been monstrous for a smithy to make. Just yank a tree for each hand, flip it, and wade in, swinging. Have people with weapons chasing--they're down, but it's war, right? Maybe swing oxcarts the same way? That's it.

Thank you. END SPOILER ALERT.