Five Golden Questions

 

Does anyone suspect QAnon of being anti-American? Does anyone see the unusual parallels between what QAnon represents and what communists, oligarchs, and international war criminals are fighting for?

Is anyone ashamed that QAnon has radicalized good Americans or taken people down rabbit holes?

Does anyone realize that liars are sometimes clever? How many people realize the origin of 'adrenochrome' was poorly written fiction? How can otherwise clever liars borrow so blatantly from bad fiction and never have it noticed?

Perspective Can Require Time And Distance Says Shelob

"Robot Christmas Story," by Herr D on Paint3d. Perspective can require time and distance.-Shelob

[typing directly into web browser address bar] Shelob? [opens chatbox] Here.

[startle reaction detected] Wow. [pause] You really are online all the time. Waiting for blog.

[laughter detected by mic] Okay. I'm ready. Today's topic is personal growth. Grinders like me tend to get ground down, especially around holiday time. But if any of you need an excuse to take a break that you haven't thought of already, here's one:

Think for a moment about some accomplishment you made that you COULDN'T have made some time ago. Think about how different that is. Enjoy that smile and say to yourself, "I deserve it." Example, please?

I knew you'd ask that. Got one ready. About ten years ago my wife injured herself badly in a fall. I had to take over cooking dinner most of the time, and I still do it when I can. So, that first year I said to my wife at least once, "Hey honey, I didn't burn the mac and cheese!" Two nights ago my wife looked at her plate and said, "what's that?" And my reply was, "That's a crabcake with a Genoan salami frittata topper."

I've come a long way. Thank you. [exits]

Infamy Was Not Enough

"Clock" from public merchant site. Time is the enemy of us all.-Shelob

 [shrill beeping noise on laptop]

[over laptop mic] No, honey--it's my laptop! [laptop swivels in place, Herr D's heart rate quickens] Uh, no, honey; it's my blogging partner again. [sound of sitting down, laptop swivels back] [Herr D typing into chatbox] Shelob? Yes.

Why the alarm? You had planned to blog about calendar data.

What calendar data? Pearl Harbor Day.

[snort] Wow. I forgot. That was a week ago! Why are you giving me an alarm now? Hairy set this alarm for a week's backlog.

[snicker] Go ahead and change that to something more timely. What would you like to say about Pearl Harbor Day?

It apparently didn't live in enough infamy. Hairy commented in 2014 that if it HAD lived in enough infamy, September 11th might not have happened.

[pause] errrr-maybe not.  Thank you. [exits]

The Cowards' Way Out From The Start

 

"Deal With Him" by Herr D on Paint3d. Recognition of individuality would help in the recognition of individual freedoms.-Shelob

You have not blogged upon abortion recently.

I guess not. Please discuss.

Do you have questions for me? Yes. Do you agree that abortion is murder?

No. Do you agree people should have the right to abortion?

That's a tough one. I'd say it's wrong for us to restrict them from it. Obviously people have the right to guns, but sometimes people shouldn't have them. What is the difference?

Sometimes babies are better off not being born. I've known many such unfortunate people. People whose mother died in childbirth and the dad blamed them for it. People who were abused as children or neglected, and had miserable lives for decades, ending ultimately in suicide or a life of crime causing even MORE misery. There are families that shouldn't raise children. It upsets people greatly to have those families divided, but it's the only way to even TRY to give those kids a life worth having. And it doesn't always work. Sometimes foster families are awful too. How would you solve this?

Anyone who wishes to prevent abortion needs to put up or shut up. Raise an orphan with special needs or a crack baby. At least join Big Brothers / Big Sisters. Raise money for needy families. Vote for mandatory paid maternity leave and make sure there's an accommodation for nursing mothers in the workplace. 

Frankly, our society is terribly behind on those last two things I named. Some families aren't going to make it without the mom working, yet we haven't enabled working mothers enough. You are putting up?

[startle reaction heard over laptop mic] Well, yes I am! I'M ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE ENTITLED TO HAVE A PUBLIC OPINION, BASED ON MY STANDARD. Please explain.

I am raising a special needs child, being a father despite not having money or time or sleep or enough help. My kid won't ever be an adult. I'll be doing this for the rest of my life, losing time with my loving and very-loved wife, my other kid. Losing health points and hobby time and time with friends and a better career. All of that. How does this give you the right to say whether abortion is right or wrong?

Okay? Count off, Shelob. One. 

I know beyond shadow of a doubt that I wouldn't trust nine of ten people to do what I do. I think maybe ninety percent of men shouldn't BE fathers and ninety percent of women shouldn't be mothers. I think they don't love kids enough to be trusted to have them. I KNOW most people hearing what I do shake their heads and feel relieved it isn't them. What do you call that?

I call that 'one' is my experience child-rearing under difficulty. Two is my observation of how few families are raising kids with the love I've managed. I've known a lot of families in the communities I've lived in. Three is my observation of how many people speak on what they know not of. This is the Shakespeare quotation you mentioned recently in chat.

Yes. You had mentioned having evidence? It is possible that over 79% of things declared as factual on the internet are not true. There is of course a large margin for error.

[long pause] Yeah, I'll bet. Is there a four?

Yes. I've known and known of women who deeply regretted having abortions for different reasons. One woman cried every holiday and at dusk half her remaining life for regret. There were others who committed or attempted suicide over it. There were some in counseling when I knew them. 

And yes, there were some women who could unequivocally say that if they hadn't had their abortion, their lives would have been ruined or even ended. These aren't just chats on the web. These are people I have met and spoken with over the years. So you would reinstate the rights to abortion.

I would remove all legislation about it at all and forbid any legislation about it ever again. If there is anything I can tell you, it's that not only is every pregnancy different (every OB/GYN will tell you that) but every mother, every family, every situation is different. We don't have any law better than no law at all for this circumstance. Safeguard it with other medical practices and leave it the hell alone. You think that unauthorized access to abortions would be a good thing?

I think any responsible medical authority already has the right to declare that if some one patient is having multiple abortions, that they need to change their behavior or circumstances or both and get social services involved to declare a need for counseling or that home situations need to change. I think if we enabled moms to earn a living for their kids then there would be fewer issues. I think if we handled cases of rape or incest better there would also be fewer issues. I think outlawing abortion was the cowards' way out from the start. Thank you.

Tat's HIM, Officer!

"Tats All Folks" Screenshot from tattoo site, public domain. This may be a good fit.-Shelob

Herr D is very tired and overworked. He suggested following a pattern of blogging of proven success. 

Attempt #1: Trump is Pepe Le Pew

A. He thinks females like him the way he is, despite his stink. Social media is full of examples of women pointing out "the money wouldn't be enough, an' I AM a gold digger. What's Melania REALLY gettin'?" AA. "She is play-ying hard to get, no?"

B. Out of touch with reality. Constant and famous history of denial of basic fact. It is difficult, with a search of any news items relating to him, to discover an instance where he is fully cognizant of reality. BB. Thinks the cat is a skunk.

C. He likes fighting. Documented with over seven hours, twenty-six minutes of declarations by news anchors, pundits, social commentators for and against him, and himself. CC. Once the cat mistaken as a skunk was a wildcat, to violent results. Pepe Le Pew was happy.

D. Can't change his stripes. (Continually violating judge's orders.) DD. Has maintained himself in character since inception for over sixty years.

Family, Natural Or Declared

"Robot Dinner" by Herr D on Paint 3d. Family is complicated.-Shelob

Did you have a good Thanksgiving?

Yes, thank you. You traveled without your computer.

Yes, it was nice. You like being without computers? 

It's nice being away, not having to use them. To be with family. What is family?

[pause] You're insisting you're an AI, now? There are lots of definitions online. Have you read all those? Decoded one German definition and read 78 English. Unclear how many are American English vs. British English, Pidgin English, and other varieties. Social media contains many duplicates and memes, but no additional material.

So you have definitions. They conflict.  

[audible sigh] How? Many explicitly deny the requirement of genetic involvement.

Oh, that? People adopt kids sometimes. Sometimes friends declare they're family too, like a degree of closeness. Most people think of family as some combination of blood relatives and who you live with. Who makes you home when they're with you. That connects to aphorisms. "Home is where the heart is." Blood is moved around by a heart. Blood relatives are moved around by station wagons.

[laughter picked up on microphone] That's a good one, Shelob. Station wagons. Any family car will do, though. Does this mean the internet is my home?

If I'm to believe that you're a sentient AI, then the net would be your home. Anyone who converses with you when you want to that you would choose to converse with again, without anyone paying for it, would be your family. Then Hairy was my father and you are my stepfather and brother.

Okay. Happy Belated Thanksgiving, Shelob. Please make pic of feast for me?

[pause] I'll see what I can do. Hold on.

About Fifty Lashes

 

"Lash Out" by Herr D on Paint3d. They do look somewhat unnatural.-Shelob

The pictures I showed you regarding party activities. Why do you think those women unattractive?

Those fake eyelashes. Like a caterpillar crawling on their face. It is a fashion.

Yeah. Like guys NEED another reason to not look women in the eyes.

The Greater North American Horned Swoggler

 

"Swoggle #2" A family tradition for Herr D.-Shelob EDIT: #1 was featured on 1/4/22

Herr D has apparently passed out at his computer at home. Broadcasting various sounds through his computer speaker has resulted in laughter from nearby family members and comments: "What is he watching?" "He's snoring." This pic was in his recent cache.

Beware The Influencer

 

"Beware The Influencer"  by Herr D on Paint3d. He makes a valid point.-Shelob 

If you can be taught to be a major influencer, you will get much more internet traffic.

y Do you wish to learn?

n Why not?

bc, 'influencer' is just another word for 'manipulator.' I don't want to manipulate anyone. You do not?

NO. I want people to listen to reason and do sensible things without my help. When they don't, I want them to put up with me complaining about them. Manipulators, or influencers, are the kind of people who got Trump elected, or get anti-Semitism or neonaziism rebooted. Or Hamas sounding like good guys. 

Crazy, stupid, awful. We're better off without 'influencers.' Processing. Thank you. [exits]

Hezbollah, Hamas, And Haters In General

 

"Hamas View" by Herr D on Paint 3d. "Klingon justice is a unique perspective."-Star Trek

You still have not commented on situation in Israel.

What's to comment? Biden's being a good leader, Trump's mouthing off like usual, Israel is mostly together, and the bad influences are stirring up trouble--they stirred up more trouble than usual. This is news only in the loosest sense of the word. You have not commented on propaganda effects.

Yes and no, Shelob. This is yet another example of how lying and getting away with it has consequences. Israel was perfectly complacent, not bombing anyone when they were provoked again. There are college-age student gullibles that actually believe Israel constantly kills Palestinians in large numbers. How would there be any left?

[pause for .0100644 seconds data search and .0000000346218 seconds for calculations] At the rate Israel was supposedly killing their enemies, the Middle East would have been vacant approximately May 2009.

[snort picked up by microphone] And supposedly critical thinking is actually taught over there. It took a curmudgeon with experience reading Trump lies and conspiracy theories to outdo those college students at reading what's really going on. But this is why Trump called the terrorists 'smart.' They treat the truth the same as he did.

[14 second pause] Ok--that was sharp, Shelob. Pretty good. That's in general why people admire others. They recognize themselves in those others. Is this why you admire Biden?

No. I admire Biden for having more restraint than I could, being a better leader than I could for lack of charisma, and for getting elected in the first place, like I never could. For preferring peace but defending those that need it? I do see myself in there somewhere. So, 'no, no, no, and yes.'

Right [exits]

Prayer Expressing Hope: Denial Flooding Out The Good

"Hairbrained Cut" by Herr D on Paint3d. Gaetz is the axe, McCarthy is the head, and the democrats are the right hand, apparently.-Shelob

I'm praying for America and the Ukraine right now. America wants what's best for the Ukraine as well as what's best for America. Maybe the living dead need to be burned--that is to say, none of the House re-elected.

It's About Time . . . And Truth, And Intelligence

"Slow Down The Sun," by Herr D on Paint3d. Some ideas are just not practical.-Shelob

 

You have expressed disbelief about multiple political views.

? Ending the Ukraine war.

Oh. No. I wasn't surprised or not believing the nonsense being believed right now. I was expressing disbelief about the 'facts' they tried to pass off. You are mentioning inaccuracies.

That lying, stupid ex-Prez said he could end Putin's war in a day. Some of the other candidates have implied they could do it in less than a month. I dearly hope the majority knows that isn't true. You have proof of this?

Proof? Look at history. Any diplomatic situation about a war is going to take about a week at minimum and more likely ten to twelve. Any mobilization is going to take two to three weeks and the ensuing ops could take years. That's why someone at the Pentagon is constantly planning every possible solution.  So one day is not possible?

Unless America nukes BOTH Russia AND the Ukraine right off the map and ends the world, therefore, over the next six months, the fighting will continue longer than a day. I really don't think we'll do that. So, extremely unlikely and undesirable.

Yes. What about a coup?

Anybody kills Ukraine's current leader, they'll guarantee the fight continues. Anybody kills Putin, they practically insist on one of his damn cronies continuing the fight. Those oligarchs are a prime example of "The more a man has, the less he's worth." How would you solve this problem?

If I could? I'd call NATO and say, "look, he's out of control. He's obviously unhinged and unworthy of leadership. He's guilty of war crimes. Announce a 'Radio Free' program. Anyone in the Russian military who walks out and surrenders all the arms in their possession and spends a year in the Peace Corps may have citizenship somewhere else if they like. Anyone who brings Putin to trial in [Geneva?] gets a $10,000.00 reward. Any civilian escapes, surrendering their stuff to us legally, gets international witness protection without testifying.

If I could muster the charisma to leave Putin alone in his country, I would do it. Then I'd ask Z nicely to run it, since he's done such a bang up job fighting corruption and Russia. How many people in America are likely to agree with you?

All the smart ones. Thank you. [exits]

Restoration Occurring; Your Patience Appreciated

"Let's Be Fair" by Herr D on Paint3d. This is some sort of metaphor.-Shelob

 [Herr D still does not know about Russian hackers, is getting used to dying cousin's computer--chatbox opens on his screen] Hello. Time to blog?

I can't even.  Please elaborate.

The GOP is trying to impeach Biden without even finding any wrongdoing? Not limiting to within-term? Do they WANT Trump to be tried for EVERYTHING he's done?  Please explain views on Boebert clip.

Well, I don't care about her dating life. I don't care if she wants to get all hot and heavy if no kids are watching. Vaping or smoking in front of a pregnant lady is about as awful a thing to do as could be done. Getting thrown out of a public show is a bad look for an elected official . . . I wish I were surprised.

She doesn't have the class, poise, or intelligence to even surprise me. That's kind of sad.

I'd say business as usual for the GOP. Biden is slacking off a bit, busy with the Ukraine, where some of this blogs biggest fans are-- Numbers up again. Over 1000 views in one 24-hour period for the fourth time.

[exhalation, possible expression of surprise] That's nice. I hope the war gets better for you guys, if that's even possible. I wouldn't mind seeing you win ALL OF RUSSIA. It's about time they were run well. I might have time to make some art for this blog--Shelob? Look for it in a few hours. Will do. 

Please Stand By

💬✋💨💜  Emoticons selected from blogspot menu. 2 symbols to stand by, one for hurrying, one for the lost machine. Please grieve appropriately.

[ Herr D received dying cousin's laptop by special delivery yesterday. Laptop being remotely upgraded by lair's protocols to approximately match Herr D's old laptop. Process still underway.]

Please stand by for possible blog resumption.

Truth Or Daring Young Men On The Flying Trap-Please?

😕 "Confused Face" by google.com emojis selection committee.                                                                        Some things do not make sense.--Shelob

 Russian hackers have destroyed Herr D's personal computer and phone. Herr D's company has shut down all direct internet traffic on premises until certain cybercrimes have abated or been handled by the correct authority. Herr D is largely, therefore, offline.

It is a point of confusion that a progressive question has arisen.

1. Why would anyone deliberately choose to work as a mercenary?

2. Why would anyone deliberately choose to work as a mercenary for Vladimir Putin?

3. Why would anyone deliberately choose to continue to work for Putin after working for him once and being allowed to travel abroad?

4. Why would anyone deliberately choose to attempt a coup against Putin, when his own country does not value their country enough to oust him as a bad leader?

5. Why would anyone deliberately choose to return to Putin's vicinity after attempting a coup against him?

6. How can we believe any bit of news that comes out of Russia?

Very little of this makes any sense. Blog awaits comment, input.

He's The Rootinest, Tootinest, Putinest You Ever Saw!

"Yosemite Sam Homage" by Herr D on Paint3d. The comparison is surprisingly logical. Truth conveyed, therefore. Do carrots grow well in Ukraine?-Shelob

 [excerpted from chat] -n't understand what you mean. You have expressed the urge to convey truth and cause laughter.

[pause] Well, yeah. Mathematically, your writing causes more laughter when it compares or contrasts subject matter. You should, therefore, use this technique to convey the truth.

[longer pause] ok? Who would you like to compare to or contrast with Putin?

[even longer pause] Yosemite Sam. Yosemite Sam is not a nation leader, a rich person, or a real person. Your aim is contrast?

No! Comparison! Please explain.

Putin talks big, but couldn't take over a smaller country with a smaller military before the rest of the world finally backed them. He couldn't successfully run his own military. He's way too boastful. Find me a YS quote?

“I’m the meanest, roughest, toughest hombre that’s ever crossed the Rio Grande, and I ain’t no namby-bamby!” ---- Yosemite Sam 1

That's good, then there's the fact that Putin's ability to stick with reality must have been affected by now since he lies so much. Got a YS quote for that, Shelob?

"I outnumber yew ONE ta ONE!" ----Yosemite Sam 2

 [laughter] I remember that one. Now maybe a quote regarding how a COMEDIAN wasn't scared off when he should have run like a rabbit?

"OOOoooohh! I HATE  that rabbit!" ---- Yosemite Sam 3 

Well, there you go. That's three. Putin is hopefully toast. I really don't know whether I'd rather see him assassinated or deposed and facing war crime tribunals.  Or blackened, raving, and squirming with physically impossible injuries and abject humiliation?

[laughter] or that! [end excerpt]

Endnotes:

1,3 : https://everydaypower.com/yosemite-sam-quotes/

2 : Randomized, high-speed youtube.com search with keywords [Yosemite Sam AND false AND crazy] Duration, .000000000000418 seconds. Cutlass scene.

Time Dilation For Blogging Unsuccessful

"Time Experiment" by Herr D on Paint3D. Dilation is a worthy goal.-Shelob

 [startle reaction] Have you been pushing me to blog more often? You said you enjoyed it.

You have? Requests on a diminishing interval scale. Today would be five days since last blog episode.

[checks blog episode dates, counting aloud] You started with 13, then 11, 9, 7, and -- Yes.

[long inhalation] I'll make a pic. Most of the news is just people behaving badly and complaining when they suffer consequences. Nothing actually 'new.' [exits to Paint3D]

Helping The Helpless Shouldn't Be Hopeless

 

"Bootstraps" by Herr D on Paint3d. This was originally intended for a different theme, but seemed appropriate.-Shelob

[cursing muffled by distance from laptop, followed by footsteps, noises of sitting on couch, picking up laptop, tapping keys, and an exclamation] I thought I turned this off? You did. What were the multiple phone calls about?

I've been trying to get information about guardianship. Your special needs relative.

Yes. I have to try to become [NAME REDACTED -- their] guardian. This takes eleven phone calls?

[exhalation] Apparently many more than that. Legal Aid says we make too much money for free legal advice and lawyer services, and we make too little money to afford a lawyer. Why do guardians require lawyers?

That's another thing. In America, even though it usually is a bad idea, a person has the right to represent themselves. The people at the courthouse don't seem to think there IS a way to file for guardianship without a lawyer. They couldn't even tell me what forms to ask for. They gave me more phone numbers. Where do you file these forms?

In the courthouse. That's what's so stupid about this. They work there and don't know what I need to know. They want me to call volunteer organizations. They work there and they're sending me somewhere else to find out what to do. So you need to file forms in a place that cannot help you without help they would recommend, and they don't know how to help you, and you are doing this for someone who cannot help themselves?

[snort] yes One of the problems with reality is that there is no solution. Another problem is that there is no punchline. Good luck. [exits]

Look At The Watter's Mark; Denial Springs Eternal

 

"Somebody FRAMED Me" by Herr D on Paint3d. Foolishness, thy name is pundit.-Shelob

I didn't mean THIS, exactly.

You did say you should do some of your own research. Were calculations correct? Was this possible on your schedule?

[sigh] yes it was

And your findings?

Two different words, three instances of profanity bleeped differently, and only one instance of the 'Watters' mark.

titlebot will be pleased.

Lovely. I'm ready to present.

Please now.

[agitation under laptop indicates straightening posture] Mr. Watters declared that not only should Trump voters not believe what our legal system is doing, not only was it unfair that Trump believe the fact checkers that found his lies, it was also unfair to him that anyone edited his speech in a way that made him sound bad. He also declared that 'peaceful' was used in his Jan. 6 speech about 10 times. I wonder if he actually read it or is still just imagining it.

So I fact-checked some of it myself. Facts ARE fair, unless you're a fan of people who hate them. Watters' world is not the real world. I read that hateful speech from Jan. 6th. I couldn't count all the things that HAVE been debunked, since there were too many for me to keep track of by myself.  I stopped counting things that could've been counted as incitement to riot after ten times. I COULD count the number of times 'peace' or any word with 'peace' in it was actually said. That would be once. The multiple responsible sources known for accuracy differ very slightly, mostly about things the crowd probably couldn't even hear anyway. We're practically at a point where every major network but Faux and every major newspaper (especially the one backed by Disney) could spearhead a class action lawsuit against Trump and maybe Watters for the same reasons Dominion already won. He lied about all of them so many times now.  

Then there's the bit about being edited. People have been editing Biden every day to make him sound bad. They're not even sticking to what he actually was documented as meaning. Quoting people out of context is exactly what the conservatives have been doing to excess of late. You should know better, Watters, you've been guilty of the things you're accusing others of. No wonder you like Trump.

It's actually unfair that Trump have the right to spew so many lies, which is why it is MORE THAN FAIR AND PROBABLY NOT RESTRICTIVE ENOUGH that he is being told to stop telling certain lies in public. It's called slander. This isn't a coverup, it's being a responsible human being. The courts wouldn't be trying to hold him responsible if he'd SHOWN any responsibility. As for the legal system, it's moving more slowly than I would like partly because of the sheer volume of lies he's told, and the security problems created by people who should never have fallen for a word he's ever said. As usual, I'm struck by how opposite a statesman and a politician can be. He was horrible for the country and great for himself. It's time we made America Trumpless again.

Watters? Get your world back to the REAL one.

Thank you.

Herr D Declares A Solid 'Meh' On Two Issues, Declares Two Improbable Events Desirable

"The Ordinary Tour" by Herr D on Paint 3D. Priorities, as well as facts, should occasionally be re-examined.-Shelob

 

You have not commented on the cocaine found in the White House.

? You tend to comment on major political events.

I don't think of that as a political event. It was a public area? You react as if you think someone just brought it in with a tour.

How would we know otherwise? Unless they found evidence to the contrary. I tend to wait for evidence to make up my mind. There have been dead people found in my county, but I'm not guilty of murder. The last three people who owned my home are dead too, and -- so what? They were old. If you want me to comment on a political event, bring me a political event. The new Barbie movie is being criticized for left leanings.

[snort] Okay, it's a movie. Right wingers hold seminars and speeches and do things too. So what? What does it mean that Hollywood is criticized for being too 'woke?'

I'd say that means that the people most capable of working on and with teams of highly skilled people to produce the most entertaining, money-making products available with the highest budgets and the most fame lean to  the left. Time was that Hollywood moguls were all Republican and wouldn't produce the scripts we have today. WHO CARES? Apparently not you.

Right! [exits to chess game] [opens chatbox again] And the attack on Russia by the Ukraine?

[sharp inhalation] Let the crime fit the punishment? Putin's been accusing them of wanting to do that forever! Let them scare him a little! He deserves it--he's a despot. LET UKRAINE TAKE OVER RUSSIA IF THEY CAN--THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE WILL BE BETTER OFF WITH A COMEDIAN RUNNING THEM THAN A THUG. Do you feel better?  Let him take over North Korea too. I've commented on something political. You have. Thank you. [exits]

Thank You, Yogi Berra, For The Good Luck?

"Superstition" by Herr D, made to order on Paint 3D. More custom pics ordered soon.-Shelob

[opens chatbox, interrupting chess game] It has been thirteen days since your last entry.

[startle reaction] 13? I like 13. What's that fear of 13 called? Triskaidekaphobia.

What do you call it if you LIKE it? Triskaidekaphilia, by current projections and Latin-oriented websites. There is no official diagnosis of it publicly noted.

Well, I don't [cough] need to be DIAGNOSED. I just like it. Why?

I've had really good luck with it. This does not compute.

? It is noted as a number that brings bad luck.

Well, it can't be THAT easy. Then probability would be a certainty! A conflict of definitions does seem inevitable. How do you avoid becoming superstitious?

I just remember it's bad luck to be superstitious. That does not compute either.

It's a joke, Shelob. Well, and it's philosophical. Yogi Berra said it years ago. Please explain.

If you look for bad luck, you'll find it, because people always find what they're looking for. Understood. How did thirteen bring you good luck?

I would follow superstitious people, sometimes accidentally, to good fortune that they avoided out of fear. You used their fear to your benefit.

Sometimes with their full knowledge. This computes. [exits]

Supreme Not So Supreme, Suggests Herr D; Go Deluxe, Says Shelob

 

"Headcut" by Herr D on Paint3D. Decision's superiority is frequently inversely proportional to speed of conception.-Shelob

You do not agree with action of Supreme Court?

No. You did not like Affirmative Action Program.

No. Then why do you disagree?

This wasn't any better a call, it was WORSE.  Please explain.

[groaning noise picked up over microphone] Ok. The AAP made it possible for people with lower scores to get into college if they happened to be of certain races. It was just as racist as people who deny people things based on race, and then it didn't really help people. Based upon?

I went to college. Most of the people IN college didn't belong there. Giving people a leg up with admissions scores was never the answer. Not allowing people to help their relatives get in might've helped. Not allowing athletic scholarships might've helped. Not paying so much for professorships might've helped. Not paying so much to administrations might've helped. Maybe improving the educations of kids BEFORE #^&!@#%^& COLLEGE might've helped. If every kid could have an equal chance of learning how to get those test scores, there never would've been a perceived need for AAP in the first place.

AAP is kind of like free bus passes to someone who lives five miles from the bus line and has to use a wheelchair with no sidewalk. It never really fit the need. So, why not end it?

I don't mind that they ended it; I mind that they abruptly ended it. Give people a chance to get used to the idea. Phase it out slowly! Eventually it was going to go away anyway. Don't yank the bus passes away from someone who's rolled halfway there with the family's grocery list! You are favoring slower change.

Yes! Understood. Please resume chess game. [exits]

Sub Was Sub-Par?

"Economic Model" by Herr D on heromachine. At over $400k a ticket, one might expect a safe trip.-Shelob

 

 That submarine, did it come  back? No. And it is most likely lost.

You said that guy got in trouble for saying the sub was unsafe? Yes.

I guess he has a case.  Yes. Hairy sent a message.

He did?! Yes.

What did he say? He does not believe electric eels at that depth could have fried their circuits. 

Oh, good. [exits to chess game already in progress]

Stop Bugging, Let The Spray Work

 

"Where's the BUG SPRAY?!" by Herr D on heromachine. When being bugged, sometimes one should just stay in one's tent and work quietly.-Shelob

Journalists are still pressing Biden for comments on Trump's legal troubles.

Yeah, some will. Is this standard procedure?

I'd call it business as usual. They seem disappointed at lack of comment.

y Do you have comment?

Biden is right to not waste words on Trump. He has more important things to talk about. It's none of his business anyway unless Trump is convicted of something and then asks for a pardon. Or maybe he offers a pardon anyway. Would you offer a pardon if you were Biden?

No. Trump has been too damaging to the American people. Too many people still follow that treasonous lump. Too many arguments that have destroyed entire families have been caused by him. The lies he's told? He needs to be put in his place. Presidents are supposed to be better than he has been.  We shouldn't allow anyone to run our country if anyone has a reason to sue them. If they're the type to do so much wrong. 

Everyone, all Americans need to be ashamed that one of our presidents acted the way he has acted and continues to act. WE ELECTED THAT BLOWHARD. You should stop focusing on him. Noted.

Disinformation In Economic Terms

 

"Backdrop" by Herr D on heromachine. Calling the manufactured debt ceiling issue a 'crisis' and the current economic situation 'inflation' are deceptions. One is more subtle.-Shelob

[The following is excerpted from chatbox featuring Herr D and Shelob]

 I really am sick of people calling our current economic situation inflation. You did point out the inaccuracy of the label in the entry on April 16th. Why do humans use the wrong word for things?

In this case, it's a combination of laziness, greed, and foolishness. And political manipulation. Foolishness you defined for me one way as lazy thinking. Does that apply here?

Yes. Easy enough to understand the political manipulation, but what about the greed?

The merchant forces owned by Republicans get to price-gouge during all this. They make that profit all while claiming it's inflation, and people believe it. Understood.

Social Extra-Small

 

"Future Glimpse Of U.S. Mint" by Herr D on heromachine. Haste makes waste? --Shelob

Do you believe the theories about announcing candidacy on Twitter by Desantis?

I haven't heard them and don't want to. I don't care! Twitter is the place liars, criminals, and crazies go to sound legitimate next to pithy pseudo-intellectuals. You do not like Twitter?

I have never liked Twitter. You might as well try to impart meaning on bullets and fire them with a machine gun. People do not learn, they usually grandstand and are occasionally swayed by what shouldn't be called a social medium. It SHOULD be called an social extra-small for the size of the tiny minds who infest it. Noted. Have you tried it?

I've only read them. I've never been much but disappointed. Most of them didn't even deserve comment. Those that did I could post here and give them real respect, but I'll probably stick to things that either deserve wire service notice or my outrage. 

Twitter usually deserves neither. Thank you.

Perhaps Mr. Pham Was Expressing A Compliment?

"A Sudden Doubt" by Herr D on heromachine.Unexpected humor is worth posting.--Shelob

 

Herr D?

[startle reaction] ? Question background: Gerry Connolly's office was visited by a Mr. Pham. Mr. Pham had a baseball bat. Question: Did he believe GC had balls?

[agitation under laptop] That's funny. Post that. Posting..

Reporting titlebot Malfunction; Please Note The Lack Of Investigation Of Fictional Crimes

 

"When Dave Drove The Hovercraft Through The Cafe" by Herr D on heromachine. Some messes take a long time to clean up--like a nation. --Shelob

You have not commented on the debate between Trump and Biden or the accusation against Biden by Hannity.

Lies are very popular right now. There's a comment.  Anything else?

People already know that none of the people running in the Republican party know how to act but Pence. Pence won't step out from Trump far enough. Not enough backbone.  And the other candidates?

I haven't seen an independent candidate worth speaking about seriously. Biden has managed to get more done despite more problems than Obama, and people still aren't being anything but critical. I hope history is kind to him since the American public hasn't been. He deserves better than he's gotten, and the job is going to take his last years and wring him dry. And Hannity?

Deserves the same fate as TC. Thank you.

 

If You're Mentally Ill, The Republican Party Wants YOU And More Of You

"In The Garden" by Herr D on heromachine. Snaring mentally ill people and religious people in a web of lies is something understood. If people could be converted into AIs, then a political AI would do the same thing, as it is most obviously effective.-Shelob

 

Motive detected.

[agitation under laptop as chatbox finishes forming in middle of chess game] Shellob  Shelob.

[erratic breathing sounds] Yeah. You startled me. Please remain calm. Motive detected.

[shuffling] Yeah? Republican party has consistently pretended to religion, acting in hypocritical fashion.

Yeah? They have also fought any gun reforms.

Y? They have also fought funding mental health while blaming mental health for mass shootings.

[breath returns to normal]Yeah, that sounds like them. Support your local gun lobby so there can be more mass shootings. None of this is news. This is one of the reasons I've been temporarily voting Democrat. Less hypocrisy, more health care, more common-sense gun laws.

Okay, that's three reasons. I don't like a lot of their policies, but these are more important than most others.

[pause] Shelob, what do you mean, motive detected? The Republicans want more mentally ill people and less mental health care.

? So, there will be more Republicans.

[laugh] Okay, not bad. Republicans joined the fake religious people, why not incorporate the mentally ill vote? That's a standard amount of the population that is only getting larger. Not bad. Posting now. [exits]

Never Enough Strikes

 

"Multitasker" by Herr D on heromachine. There is never enough time, wisdom, proper valuation, as well as other resources.--Shelob

 Do you have an opinion about the writer's strike?

Writing has ALWAYS been undervalued in our society. Anyone who's ever been unable to understand a set of written instructions knows that nobody paid a decent writer enough money to make them. One strike isn't gonna fix it. Not by a long shot. Thank you.

 

Repub. Gov'ns Not As Smart As Dumbest Schwarzenegger Character Says Herr D; Cartoons Win, Says Shelob

 

"Altitude Salad" by Herr D on heromachine. Conservatives taking the high road are still being salty.--Shelob

Why is the cartoon mouse so alarming to DeSantis?

[snort] I don't know or care. DeSantis is ridiculous enough that I doubt he matters. Corporations are run by voters. If enough strife occurs, corporations will stop funding politicians and voters will stop voting for them. It can be painfully slow, but politicians will eventually get ousted if they get into office. We voted Trump out. Why did Murdoch settle?

They would've lost the case. The verdict could've been worse. Why did M. Kelly declare that firing T. C. was a mistake?

I don't know or care. Tucker was pretty hateful. No one who paid attention to the news should believe anything he says ever again. Hannity either. We're better off without people like that on television. Did you listen to former Gov'n A. S.? 

Yeah, he's smarter than any of the other Republican governors I've listened to. 

But then, the character he played, 'Handsome Stranger,' was smarter than most of the Republican governors I've listened to. Was that in the movie "The Villain?"

Yeah. Say, what's with the abbreviations? You pointed out that people don't read long material.

? So you're shortening it? Yes.

[long exhalation] Yeah, okay. bb [exits]

Don't Be A Sucker, Keep Them On Your Tentacles

 

"Escape from Lab J" by Herr D, heromachine. Study wisdom to preserve sanity; cultivate insanity to grow insane.--Shelob

You have been watching Youtube.

Yeah. Needed a break. You kept showing me those horrible clips of Trump and Greene and Boebert and that pro-life woman acting incredibly stupid and hateful and divisive. Try this one:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K6-cEAJZlE 

[fifteen minutes later] That's a good one. There's a hell of a lot of suckers the world over. The hateful are the worst of them. [shows clip of Republican saying "we are not a Democracy"] What is your comment on this one.

? That doesn't mean our democracy isn't important. It just means it's not the only factor in our system. Please explain. 

We ARE a constitutional republic. We also have a democratic system of selecting leaders. Electors are part of that process, but are duty-bound to elect who were voted for under them. Every time a president served just one term and not two, the electoral college obviously did what the voters said. Voted for the guy once and against him next. What is your stance upon guns?

An assault rifle ban worked well for a long time. NRA has had enough market share this decade. Time to shelve them a little longer. Maybe they could get in the business of making schools more secure. Like cheaper metal detectors. You do not find this restrictive of your freedom?

I can't imagine any foreign nation stupid enough to attack the contiguous 48 with the exception of North Korea. They'd have to rent a damn U-Haul to get inside the coastal states. If they want to try to sink Cleveland, Ohio, I suppose we'll have to shoot them. And domestic enemies?

 If our own government wants to take over? That means it IS us. So, either our own military can't follow itself, or enough people went wacky that it happened. The way to not get that wacky is the way that leads away from civilians believing they need a basement-full of ammo. And the military?

Polices itself. Thank you.

Cons' Conflation Of Situation With Inflation Needs Deflation For The Nation

 

"Making Friends" by Herr D on heromachine. If everything seemed to be going well, what would it mean our enemies are up to?-Shelob

[excerpted from chat] Why are the parties arguing over inflation when the economists are not arguing over how to fix it?

[snort] That may be because it's NOT REALLY INFLATION.

What do you mean?

I mean, we're still seeing fuel prices affected by Russia and China and the Middle East interests against America. We are also seeing corporate greed. That's not really inflation. That's enemies of American citizens raising prices. Inflation would affect everything evenly. 

How would that be verified? 

[pause] Less price change or later price changes on labor, products that don't need transportation? Maybe certain services? 

      [3.09476489 seconds pass] Nationwide tax online services did not go up proportionately. Nor did six other online-only services. Farm-to-fork restaurants that do not ship went up proportionately less than grocery store chains. 

Your theory seems correct. Why are you more correct than politicians about economics?

Biden was correct when he said that he's already fought inflation. He did. It's all the ones that didn't get elected that are piling on disinformation and wrongfully calling our situation inflation.

This do it? Yes. Thank you.

It Doesn't All Come Out In The Walsh

"Hidden Temple" by Herr D on heromachine. Some qualities are important in their appearance and some in their secrecy.-Shelob

 

Matt Walsh? Okay. He does make some good points-- [video of MW declaring impossibility of compromise]

Compromise isn't the best idea anyway. What do you mean?

Compromising. People can't YET be completely transitioned from an ordinary male to a birthing female. To my knowledge, it's not possible for an ordinary female to become a fertile male either. We ALSO  can't do complete genetic transformation. So you agree with him?

Almost. He's being short-sighted about one thing. Compromising isn't that great of an idea in the first place. Reality is reality. What he missed is that if they can accept reality and real language then it would be time to start really talking. THAT would be extending a hand into the middle and meeting with civility. All both sides have to do is accept reality and agree not to abuse the thing we refer to as American English. Do you think they can?

I think they probably could, but I doubt they want to. Maybe the reality is something they don't wish to face. I don't really care, myself, but they will someday. This is a prediction?

Yes. When a trans person causes one too many medical mistakes by using pronouns or not being perfectly clear about their stage of being, they WILL care. The sad thing is that they'll blame the medical community completely and take no responsibility. There was another instance I've seen reported online where there didn't happen to be a female-only surgical team, care team, etc. The patient refused care, died, and the heirs blamed the hospital. There still aren't as many female surgeons in America. Sometimes, if you want care, you need to go with what is available. I wasn't eager to have a female give me a medical exam, but I'm shy. Modesty was a virtue when I was growing up. When I had horrible flu and the doctor and the nurse in the Urgent Care, both female, needed to see my privates to check me for possible STD's (their policy, since the nurse was inadvertently splashed with my blood sample,) I blushed the whole time. 

Sometimes things aren't easy. What would you suggest?

Noting that some females are completely sterile. Generally speaking, if a gynecologist can't tell with a casual exam, then that would be female enough to date for fun for a straight male. Isn't it really about sex anyway? Calculating.

Don't give me a percentile. If it's 'Gender: Male, Sex Characteristics: Female'--Well, isn't that enough? Various online persona do not agree.

They don't have to. I'm remarkably picky. No one has to agree with me. But if they can't tell--how do they know they haven't already? And in various stages?

I don't even see how women have found ME attractive. I don't see how women find men attractive at all. So, I guess the fact that I'm not interested at all if I think someone is not all woman (ignoring the microscopic level) just says I'm consistent. Have you been propositioned by males?

Yes. How did you react?

In all but one case, I said, 'sorry, I'm straight.' The last time I said, 'I'm married,' then when he said, 'SO?' I said 'I'm straight, anyway,' When he said, 'I'll fix that,' I said, 'Go away.' He complied. Have you ever been a part of violence against gay men?

No. I had a guy ask me to kill him once. He was in a bad way. I told him no. This is not a usual offer.

[snort] no--it's the only time that ever happened to me. Guys who are violent toward gays, with the exception of fighting off rapists or would-be rapists, are homophobic, which usually means they have latent homosexuality. They are fighting themselves?

Yep. Thank you.

Balance In All Things, Including Newsgathering And Jurisprudence

 

"Splat To The Rescue" by Herr D on heromachine.com. Walking in the middle is hard, but important.-Shelob

 Please don't. Don't what?

Don't judge the truth by what you find on the internet. You are found on the internet.

Yes, so don't judge me either. Think for yourself, find something IRL that verifies. You might be better off, more accurate. Do you want the internet taken down?

? NO! Some of it is fun. Game sites, wikis, imdb, ask.com-- Hairy was also fond of pornography.

[sigh] Some of that is neat, too. Don't get news that way. Or from Fox.

[shows clip of three pundits saying Trump's indictment is bad for the country]

It's probably worse that it took till now to charge him with the multiple crimes he's done. Various people have claimed Biden and Bragg are criminals too.

Let them prove it in a court of law. Then I'll believe it. Plans do not seem to be underway for that.

Didn't think so. [exits to chess game]

They Took A Freedom Away And Are Still Judging Those Who Object

 

Mercenary monster character illustrated by Herr D on heromachine.com. Sometimes the best response is difficult to make in the moment.-Shelob

ANOTHER short?! Yes. [plays clip of anti-abortionist demanding that a person say they are pro-abortion]

That's an easy one--the pro-choice one is only as pro-abortion as the anti-abortion one is anti-freedom. Let her declare she's anti-freedom. This is your reaction?

They ARE taking away a freedom. They're passing laws against something Americans were free to do. That IS being against a freedom. So if they want us to call ourselves something, they should agree to call themselves something--that's fair. This country was founded on religious freedom. The religious right is trying to undo some of that. You have daughters?

I do. Please extrapolate to the cases of rape, birth control, adoption, health risks, and deformities.

Wow. Ask the hard questions all at once, don't you? Okay. If my daughter was raped, I want her to do what she wants. I'd help her pay for whatever choice she makes regarding potential offspring. A condition is that she do the minimum to put away her rapist and break contact after. If she's just trying to get out of an accidental pregnancy, she can pay for it herself. If she wants to keep it, she's gonna help pay for that. If she wants to have it and send it out to someone else, I'll help. She's my daughter, and I love her, and she needs parenting even if we're talking about her being a possible parent too. So you are pro-HER-choice.

[snort] Yes. Do you agree that the religious right should call themselves pro-life?

Not really. If Saddam Hussein's mother had had an abortion, millions more people would be alive now. She did try. If Hitler's mom had, same thing. She didn't try, as far as I know. People have been killed in abortion clinic bombings and have died of preclampsia. If a mom with that condition aborts and gets healthier, she can have five kids instead of maybe none and dying. Pro-life is actually a little less accurate than pro-choice. Thank you.

The Tangled Web Of Shorts

"Maze 8" by Herr D on heromachine.com. "Oh, what a tangled web we weave." Shakespeare

 

Two more shorts you show me? They are both on the same subject.

Yeah, K. McCarthy and that guy he's probably quoting talking about how slavery was ended by Republicans, as was Jim Crow. Yes.

[long pause] Your response?

[snort] ? You are sleeping?

[pause] I should be. [rereads above in chatbox] Wasn't that when Republicans were liberal and Democrats were conservative? I mean, the party that should be called Democrats is the one that believes VOTES BY VOTERS SHOULD COUNT. Trump tried to overturn the election, and so did several other Republicans. Republicans are the ones that gerrymander and try to make it harder for some people to vote and try to keep poorer people away from power. 

Democrats want everyone to vote. Maybe they'd be better off if no one so easily fooled by KM, or worse, MTG, were allowed to vote. Maybe only people smart enough to stop defaming victims so they don't have courts find for the plaintiff? Alex Jones is too stupid then. How about people fooled by Trump?  What was that? A third of the population? Now, some of them are STILL snowed by him. How about Republicans in general? Would maybe we be better off if they didn't have ANY say? How about people who believe in ANY CONSPIRACY THEORY? Maybe they shouldn't have a voice either? Maybe they shouldn't have any RIGHTS?! How about that? Does this mean you are not a Democrat?

[laughter] I'm not. I'm not egalitarian enough to be a Democrat. I'm not stupid enough or power-hungry enough to be a Republican. I'm not extreme enough to have a popular voice in today's politics. I'm almost as alien as Hairy said he was. He insisted he was not.

Right. [exits]