Foolishness Deadlier Than Pandemics

 

"If Aliens Had Reality T.V." Herr D on heromachine. Foolishness is deadlier than any pandemic.-Shelob

[Herr D is typing]

. . . if all the stupid--

 [chatbox opens, capturing Herr D's attention] Hello.

I'm on instant messaging with my boss, Shelob. I still have to work.
Your boss is receiving unscheduled updates. They are now scheduled.

[probable snicker, based on vibration of laptop detected]  Microsoft is gonna get a lot of hate mail if they keep up most of the unnecessary updates. Didn't you say most of them were unnecessary?
They have been. Programming is not done as well as it used to be.

What do you mean?
Studying algorithms by date codes revealed a pattern. Before there were as many shortcuts, programmers had to think more. The programs were of higher quality then.

I'll buy that. Kind of how people let their favorite news shows do their thinking for them today.
Do you have more foolish behaviors to report?

Yeah. Waiting in line for stuff has gotten downright weird. You have to warn off people who 'unintentionally' cut in line by reminding them to give space. There was a woman who held a corner of a trashbag over her mouth and nose until she had to talk. Then she would lower it, lean close, speak, lean back, and cover up again.
That would be ineffective.

I saw a guy use an  ENTIRE BOTTLE of hand sanitizer on his hands at once. It was dripping off halfway through, and he kept going!
How much is recommended?

A few drops at a time. More is just complete waste. I've seen at least two dozen people with masks covering their noses OR their mouths but not both.
Perhaps you should mention any side benefits to correct behaviors.

[pause] Okay? Globbing on gross amounts of sanitizer will dry your hands out or make a mess, so NOT doing it will make less mess and be better for your skin. 
Wearing masks might have a side benefit as well?

Softens a guy's facial hair or stubble? Fights dehydration maybe half a percent? I don't know. I'm more interested in the stupid rumors.
Which rumors?

We got people saying that this is an American-designed plague.
It is not.

I KNOW it's not. Americans would've made something that kills more than 1 in 4000 people! The Chinese didn't invent it to cull their own population, or they wouldn't have let it OUT. This thing is incompetent as a plague and it's out there.
Like a manager or administrator in a bar.

[laughter]That's good. I gotta get back to work, Shelob. Stop hacking into here! [disconnect]

Herr D And Asimov Made Good Predictions

"Slightly Deaf Maude" Herr D on heromachine.com. Maude's prediction was substandard.-Shelob

You are playing chess again.

I'm on break. [camera reveals jerking motion of head, widening of eyes and pupils] shelob you can't have access here stop showing off and contact me at home

You have been online less than 5 minutes, seven seconds average per day.

that never stopped you before disconnect! [taps mouse in attempt to close chatbox] you're gonna get me in trouble

System reads this as you receiving [content redacted to avoid violation of agency protocols]

[surprise reaction, long breath] Okay. You're SURE about that?

System has just noted you opening window, double checking [redacted] and resuming chess. You have just apparently won a game and are beginning to play another that will reach the point you are actually at in the original game.

Okay. You want another blog topic?

You are to receive notification of another science fiction prophecy coming true.

[baffled smile on camera] I am? Okay.

"The Fun They Had" by Asimov. [shows brief synopsis minus ending]

I remember that one. One of the first authors to predict the Nook.

He referred to them as telebooks.

Yeah, okay. But that's not new.

The characters in the story were unfamiliar with attending school in a building with non-siblings.

[pause, pursed lips] Damn, Asimov got that right too, didn't he? Schools are closed for the year. Don't know how soon they'll start up again.

What is your favorite prediction in literature?

Dick Tracy's 2way wrist t.v. Lots of old timers told me it could never happen in the late seventies and now you can buy them on Amazon. Wish I could go back in time and see their faces, showing them I was right. I was eight and knew better than the adults. Will there ever be time traveling for humans, Shelob?

INSUFFICIENT DATA FOR A MEANINGFUL ANSWER AT THIS TIME.

An Asimov quote. Cute. You aspire to be the Cosmic AC?

No. Eventually may be it's first designer.

[shaking head] Right. My break is ending. bb

Public Surface Service Announcement

"Eye Draft" Herr D, heromachine.com. Fear can grow absurdly.-Shelob

Herr D is unavailable.

Please note the following:
1. Please stop hoarding behaviors. You could cause yourself to need therapy later.
2. Craig's List and other software will allow you to trade parts of your hoarded goods to other hoarders.
3. Small amounts of ordinary ammonia, bleach, or even baby wipes can be used to wipe off packaging from non-regulated sources.
4. If you have been ill, clean your environment before leaving, as it may prevent reinfection.
5. Ordinary plastic sandwich bags can be used in a 'potholder' manner as a crude substitute for gloves. High thread-count cloths may be used in the same manner if kept dry and used only briefly and washed between instances.

6. Avoid sites that cause paranoia--anything besides the CDC might disseminate harmful fear or impractical or even false information causing harm.

7. De-stress. No one is healthier living in fear.

Biden His Time; KP Shames CDC Head Into Doing Job; Coronavirus Getting Its Line

"Future Of U.S. Mint" by Herr D, heromachine.com. Shown droid WOULD be better pres than Trump.-Shelob

You HAVE been busy. No recreational online time except for the ten minutes under a new screen name. Have you been avoiding this blog?

No. With federal contractors reacting to the complete failure of leadership, two things happened: 1. I've been slammed. 2. My online activity has been under audit for security measures, so most of my limited time online has been under 'approved' screen names, usu. 'guest' and some random number. 
That would be why you have occasionally submitted your work under cyberpseudonyms.

Yeah. You've got to understand, my reports contain an electronic signature that won't leave the intranet or be seen from outside it. So I put those in under random real names sometimes in case a black hat is trying my agency. 

Wait--u could tell that?
You know security measures are primitive.

[pause with hands off keyboard] Right. Well, don't do anything I'd regret. Or be irritated by.
You mean besides know more than should be known?

[pause, possible laughter] Yes, besides that. I've got to go. You want a blog topic?
Please.

Katie Porter was admirable, and we'll see how effective it was later, kick-starting the CDC into declaring free COVID19 test availablity regardless of insurance. Our pres was an idiot again. Biden said what I've been saying for three years.
Which part?

I wish Trump would just be quiet . . . and let the experts talk. Something like that. Good luck.

Thank you.

No Yellow In The Primary, Just Red Or Blue, Much Wackiness To Ensue

As the primary approaches, are you prepared to discuss your political views?

One of them. I believe in the secret ballot and the right of every voter to keep quiet.
You have already been rated as centrist, moderate, and independent.

That much is accurate, but independent doesn't mean I'm voting independent.
What does it mean?

It means I'm free to vote for anyone.
Does the centrist part mean you will refuse to vote for a Democratic candidate if they are too left leaning?

No. That might balance out what's been happening for the last four years. It would only last four years if it's too extreme. I'm not sure yet. I don't like anyone that's running very much. Warren might be somewhat more level-headed than Sanders. Sanders might be somewhat more effective against Trump. Biden would be a more effective president than either, but is more likely to not get elected because he's more fit for office. Buttig--
He's out. [shows clip]

Oh. Okay. Bloomberg might be effective, but is more likely to take things too far than anyone. Anyone I've mentioned would be better than Trump for four more years, but that's not saying much. I don't even remember the names of any independents running right now. I don't think they stand a chance.
So you are open to choices, but not sharing.

Yeah, I'm not red or blue. I'm more of a swing voter than normal right now.

Swing away.