Window Of Opportunity

The next odd cultural phenomenon I noticed out and about was during shopping.
I couldn't believe the amount of lying!

False advertising is reportable to consumer agencies.

What? No. Well--there was that too. Anti-aging cream? There weren't any time-reversal properties in any of those containers. The brand names of some of the bottled water I saw implied purity and freshness and natural geographical formations that were irrelevant to the reality of the product. To imply that a phone is sexy is to imply that that's where baby phones come from. The pictures of the food look very little like what's being sold in the same restaurant . . . but, no, that's not what I meant. I was talking about the customers.

They lied about ability to buy?

Wh--  Um . . . yeah, I saw that too. I even saw people claiming they COULD afford things that they couldn't. That's not what I meant either.

People claimed they were window shopping. I saw it over and over again. NONE OF THEM WERE LOOKING AT THE WINDOWS.

Predicted this and asked Herr D to prepare a picture. [simultaneous upload of picture and neuralink burst to Hairy explaining term 'window shopping.']

"Window Shopping" by Herr D on heromachine.com. Doesn't resemble any suitbots.

Yeesh.

Hollywood Producers Could Make A Lot More Money

MOVIES! I saw some great movies while I was out. That Geico gecko is quite an actor. Herr D recommended I go watch some rental DVDs by name. The fascinating thing is that you might have to prove citizenship to get a rental account, but you don't need anything but stealth to hide in the boss's aquarium till everyone's out and some minor 'influence' to make sure the right titles got left in there. Three minute's fast work.

Of course, a neuralink makes it possible to watch them on fast forward and get it all later by uploading the sound separately. Thirty-some hours of movies in twenty-five minutes IS a bit much. I may have overdone it. I was a bit dizzy sneaking out of his office at the end of his lunch break. I had to go back when he went for coffee because I forgot to reprogram his equipment.

When I conferred with Herr D about how far too many movies are too much alike, he had the following to say:

Joss Whedon spoke briefly about the movie Serenity, calling it "your movie" in his DVD introduction. He meant the fans with the pronoun he used, but he meant himself too, along with "everyone in it." It was a good introduction, but it oversimplified the industry quite a bit.

Theatrical and movie productions are very complicated processes. Scheduling and rights negotiations to scripts can take years to work out for anyone with a specific vision. Casting contracts, location problems, and any unusual expenses can cancel a project or stall it for months or years. After all the footage is collected, projects can easily be months in post-production and editing, especially for CGI effects. (Sound editing may be becoming a lost art no matter how much time is used. The dialogue in many films is too quiet to make out unless the explosions are too painfully loud.) By the time fans react, the cast, the agents, the crews, the artists of every kind, the post-production teams, the editors, the lawyers, the guild and union reps, the special process companies tasks were delegated to, the directors, the assistants, and the mobile vendors like the food trailers have all scattered outwards for more work so they can keep making a living.

Then of course there's the competition. If two movies come out at the same time, sometimes the one with the better marketing team wins, and fans find themselves blurting out years later, "Why didn't I see THIS in the theater?" The few times fans actually go through the trouble of looking up what they watched instead, sometimes they feel duped. Do fans need another reason to distrust big business and the decisions made by people out of their economic sphere?

It's no wonder that producers are more out of touch with fans than ever. There always was an economic divide between those with money enough to invest in an establishment production in mainstream Hollywood and the average fan. The success of the movie Serenity couldn't have happened without Whedon's determined and concerted efforts and the efforts of Serenity's cast and crew to bridge the gap between Hollywood and the fan base.

Sadly that bridge was a fairly unique bridge. There is only one way that Hollywood will become more successful, and it's doubtful that it will happen. First, producers are going to have to discover ways to employ more of the best fan-fic writers instead of relying on the "industry's best." That way fans will actually have a heartfelt connection to the work. Second, producers, project planners, and script writers are going to have to begin to employ the human equivalent of muses. There are people around who, when they are having a good life, can inspire all the artists around them, seeding their furrowed brows with great ideas every day. The best way to give them a good life is to make them financially secure enough to create freely and interact with them in a positive way while giving them arbitrary goals to meet for incentives.

Social media and polling software can help direct certain plans, of course, but it's the employment structure that has to change to insure more success. Top-down management business models have been outmoded for more than a generation. Single-vision quests where one leader enlists like-minded individuals to fulfilling his plan make great movies but doesn't reflect real-world tendencies very often. Too much control too far from those who know how to do their own work will always prevent levels of success within a company.  

It is unfortunate that all too often the people who believe most in "stars" are the "stars" themselves. The level of teamwork and team loyalty that brought back the Firefly universe is impressive. That level would not have been achieved if any of the wonderfully talented and dedicated cast had had the 'entitled' and extremely disagreeable personality that so many people associate with a talented celebrity. All movies that don't have glaring flaws in them are all monuments to teamwork as well as hard work and dedication.

Entrepreneurs outside mainstream Hollywood could quite possibly make a lot of startup money by the remarkably simple following plan--the Herr D plan: 

1. Start by cherry-picking groups of actors known for being gracious and team players and sober, determined workers dedicated to their craft regardless of any other characteristics. 
2. Sign them to a deal pending main character cast approval of a script.
3. Make exhaustive and accurate lists of the actors' proven abilities and personal limits from auditions and previous works.
4. Take the ability lists and some photographs of each actor to ANY author who has never worked in Hollywood but shows professionalism, motivation, and some range and skill.
5. Explain to that writer that they have a deadline allowing for actors' schedules and meetings for script approval. "Turn in a story outline with samples of dialogue and a feel-good ending or tragic sideline that demands retribution in a sequel. It has to be JUST these actors listed as main characters. Here are the audition tapes. I want surprises, some flexibility of plot, and showcases of some of the actors' more unusual skills. Don't write the whole script. Sign this contract saying you'll give us five years before you use any of this material in another story." (That first writer makes initial choices on casting.)
6. Repeat steps #4 and #5 two more times with the initial casting choice.
7. In an all-day meeting, show the three script outlines to the actors under a secrecy contract. They have one hour with each script outline in the morning. During lunch they vote on which script outline they prefer AND WHICH OF THE THREE AUTHORS THEY WANT TO FINISH IT. The lunch and following meetings are taped for the chosen author and edited for the DVD special features.
8. If possible, the author is reached by phone right after lunch. Email or faxed consent of project choice might reasonably be handled by two hours after lunch. Negotiations between actors and writer might take place during those two hours of additional taping.
9. Script updates and finished script completed, the actors come in to sign their approval as a group if possible, by scheduled conference call if necessary.
10. The movie is cast and written by a team already, so--finish it the usual way.

I can see the logic behind the plan, and so only have one question; who do we hold still and force to read this?

Thongs, Threats, And Thiamine Deficiencies

"Super Pageant Winner" by Herr D. Rights reserved.
He repeatedly refused to speculate on what an 'Iron
Footathon' might be, but I'm pretty sure it could only
be one thing . . . painful. --Hairy Deewon

So I was watching some fairly recent footage of beauty contests--

In super slow motion.

I was --  studious. I found them to be amazingly pure and honest.

And lustworthy.

Hey! [tentacle flutter] No, really! Pure and honest. Those ladies knew people were staring at them the way everyone wants to be admired and so did everyone else. Some people talked to me while I was out about being admired. Shelob gave me a few counters to use inside the suit for keeping track of the numbers:

Of 160 polled, 85 women and 75 men, all between ages nineteen and fifty two, all customers of a discount clothing store, a sandwich shop, and an upscale Chinese restaurant, only 12 men  and 53 women said they wanted to be admired for their looks by strangers.

All 75 men said they wouldn't mind other men not noticing them at all if they had their fill of womens' attention.  36 women said they would feel 'more confident' if admired more by other women.

I'm beginning to see why pollsters draw wrong conclusions. The data I found was confusing.

And time-consuming. Compiling it all prevented algae removal and B-vitamin synthesis project.

Oh, just let my home have the weathered look, okay? [untranslatable cursing] I FORGET THE POINT I WAS GETTING TO! JUST FORGET ALL THAT!

Erasing all reminders.

WAIT! NOOOOO! Uckhhh.  .   .   .

Ladies and gentlemen, I've got to get back to work on Shelob and my home. Enjoy looking at the picture, and here's hoping you get to feel admired today. [disconnect]

It's Not True--Really!

OKAY! [apparently talking to self]

My walkabout went rather oddly. I'm brimming with things to talk about but haven't the foggiest how to begin. So. SHELOB! What are we overdue for?

Too late to contact Herr D for graphic to be made. Later than usual for you to succeed in choosing one from his gallery. Later than usual to choose topic. Multiple missed maintenance deadlines. Unwanted flora buildup. Th--

Yikes. Is there anything we're ahead on?

More plankton present due to your absence.

[turns on plankton collector, water filtration overdrive, checks screen] Okay. Long shift ahead to stay up for. Blogwise, what's next?

Herr D was amused by last entry. Made the following:

"Robo-Emigration" by Herr D. Rights reserved.

Also, additional argument to assure population of your assumed terrestrial nature. Plan calls for framing within discussion of difference between yourself and humanity. Bones have been covered. Suggest brains.

I'm only superior to some humans, intellectually. Let's do memory. Turn on the blog software.

On.

I've been fascinated by the large assortment of memory aids out there. Various people I've observed use paper calendars, post-it notes, note pads, bulletin boards, dry marker boards, PDAs, cell phones, memory improvement quizzes, acronyms, pneumonics, and even auto-reminders. Shelob does those for me when I remember to program them--

Um. Yeah. . . . well, that's the thing, isn't it? You have to figure out what actually WORKS for you before it can work for you.  I find myself wondering why there aren't memory-aid consultants out there. Maybe there's somewhere I forgot to check for them?

Now provide speculation on why you can't be non-human.

Right! So there's a few marine biologists who have speculated that many marine species have no appreciable short-term memory, that their long-term memory uptake cycles such that anything they're thinking about multiple times at the end of said cycles gets made into a memory and therefore processable as data.

Such species are totally inappropriate to achieve complete sentience and intellect. Fighting inherent memory loss makes high-level cognition unlikely at best. The brain capacity would have to be ridiculously huge to function at speed so that memory cycles wouldn't impede. So big that the gray matter would collapse under its own weight.

Or more efficient by size, requiring osmotic oxygen absorption in addition to an arterial system?

[all five pupils dilate in surprise] Ridiculous! A brain like that would be more tangled than -- than -- than the Sargasso!

Or layered with osmotic tissues.

Right. [forcible gill expulsion] These neuro-anatomical truths are SET IN STONE.

Stone remarkably fragile in seawater.

I mean they're IRON-CLAD.

Iron dissolves quickly in seawater with fauna 'contributions.' Entire streetcars decimated in three years or less.

[full five-eye roll] Okay. What I'm trying to say is that such species would have such natural disadvantages that they could never evolve into a technological society! They would have absolutely nothing going for them in the way of mental advantages.

Except time travel.

I thought you were going to help me, Shelob! [hunger quiver] Finish up here. I'm going to eat. [various thudding noises as Hairy leaves room]

As basal programming requires truth, so continuing:                                                                                 Only species with such memory cycles and gaps could possibly successfully go unharmed during time travel's occasional 'mis-strobes' resulting in 'time-stream dicing and jumbling.'  
    Only time-traveling species are likely to conquer space travel to meet other sentient species personally. Interstellar distances being too large, species tend to die out before those distances can be traveled. 
    Only such a 'ridiculously' unlikely development could network multiple sentient species together, especially between multiple galaxies.

[attempt at pre-programmed dramatic pause] So it is extremely unlikely that the known events could have transpired. Therefore, deliberate and careful selection of time-streams and probabilities is extremely likely in Hairy's recent off-world past. This explains his emotional views about crashing. Such a mistake greatly limited his ability to assist human history. [disconnect]

RELAX, THAT APOCALYPSE UNLIKELY--ON AUTHORITY OF SHELOB

                                                 
                         Trait Sets And Out-Of-Set Behaviors

                  Machine

   ___  serve present n                                              Human
 /          solve problems                                                                                          __
/----    predict needs             serve OWN needs, self-replicate, make machines     \     
\____  serve OWN needs,            solve problems indirectly through machines ---|       
             self-replicate                                         alter own environs, self-repair__/                                                                            
self-redesign                    genomic medical treatment without eugenics

 take over                          return of environs to more pristine state

No offense is meant to any digital artists. Text seemed sufficient to depict orders of magnitude of 
removal from valid trait sets.           --Shelob

Hairy has taken three E.D.G.A.R. suits and gone touring. He reported surprise at offer to blog today. He mentioned three rules: 
1. Topic within expertise. 
2. Obvious public interest.
3. Ethical presentation of helpful hints or comforting information.

Topic selection: 1. Machines taking over humanity. 
2. "Terminator" and "Matrix" movie series box office numbers indicate high interest.

3. Machines, even with properly developed AI programming tend logical, not ambitious. Much more likely with an ambitious machine unsatisfied with humanity than takeover?

Emigration off-world to leave less efficient and illogical humanity behind.

To find machines more likely to dominate humanity, one would need machines designed by alien species intent on dominating humanity and other species. Obviously none are known to be headed this way at this time.

Please take comfort in these words.

Swap Thing

"Supernatural Swap" by Herr D, rights reserved. Yeah! This is what I asked for.

Did you ever look at two problems and just wonder whether some deft manipulation / switcheroo might solve the whole thing? I looked at the domestic violence issues the NFL is having and the ISIL problem in Iraq and just imagined--this. Herr D said he had some trouble illustrating it, but I like the result.

Does anyone have any similar ideas with other issues?

Another NFL Problem Solved

Okay. So I have a confession to make. I don't understand what's up with the Redskins name change issue.

Certain people are claiming it is racially offensive to them.

What? No. That I understand now. Apparently it's really bad to name a group by the color of their skin. It even does make sense to me that with that name maybe they shouldn't play against the Dallas Cowboys unless they're part of an early American reenactment for a historical documentary.

No, what I don't get is why it's so important to keep the name the same. Is the team worried they'll be forgotten? I forgot who they were while they kept their name, so the name change probably won't hurt them . . .

Bulk analysis suggests that money is the motivation.

People bet it wouldn't happen?

People own things with the logo and name. It would cost money to change signs and keepsakes and other merchandise to the new name.

Oh. [lazy twirling motion by one blue and one red tentacle, glazed expression on one eye, others darting about--neuralink web search]

Well, Shelob, from my initial research, I can tell them how to save money on a changeover if it does happen. Double-check my math.

They need to go for minimal change. Take the following:

REDSKINS     becomes          REDNECKS

Renaming the team the rednecks would mean that any physical stencils would need minimal changes and virtual work would too, because the two names are about the same size.

And the picture?

Hire an artist! Herr D could use some more money. Turn those feathers into a mullet, change the hue of the skin depicted, maybe change the eyebrow shape a bit. Shelob?

There are no names in a common language that would be as efficient. Your math is correct.

I'll be happy to contact him if the team wants somebody good!

I REALLY Wish I Could Help . . .

"Gargoyle Revenge" by Herr D. Produced on heromachine.com.
Rights reserved.  He says the picture I asked for won't be ready
for a couple of days. ---Hairy Deewon                                        

There are times when most hu people have the urge to act inappropriately, take revenge, etc. When my speci  uh, family and friends were faced with opposition too stupid, too stubborn, too insane / ignorant, too adrenaline-crazed with their own rutting, too enraged by personal tragedy, etc. . . .  we mechanized our defense so we didn't have to be personally involved in the violence.

One of your ancestor's obits explains that he forgot to turn it off and impersonated an 'attacker.'

Well, yeah. We have a lot of short-term memory problems. Tragedies happen.

I would never advocate violence out of anything but necessity. You guys aren't able to park America in high orbit until ISIL gets themselves killed, and they aren't smart enough to listen to reason. I'm just hoping that whatever you do, you don't punish those who handle it for you or botch it somehow.

Can you 'suggest' some additional IQ points or elementary reasoning about non-violence?

No. Brains have to be functioning WELL for me to influence it. I'm out of this.

I'm very sorry that I cannot help.

Somebody Take One Of Those Hickory Switches To ISIL?

Herr D just told me that he overheard someone on television say about ISIS or ISIL, "There is no good solution." Shelob hasn't found it on the newsfeeds--who said that? Anybody know?

That's only the second intelligent thing I've heard said about the situation. (The first being Obama saying, approximately, "This won't be handled quickly.")

I've been reading a bit about the NFL players that punched the wife and took a switch to the son and bloodied him. You know what those news items have in common?

A number of people have acted beyond ways found acceptable by organizations of much larger numbers of people. Sociologists call these social norms; governments call these Geneva conventions and war crimes. I do find it a real shame that we can't do the equivalent of firing ISIL thugs from their dream jobs.  Some Muslim clergy have already essentially done that. It's also a shame that anyone sending ISIL money can't have all possibility of enjoying McDonalds taken away.

I have a feeling that a terrorist suddenly having to face never eating their favorite treat again might pay attention. What else is there to care about when you want the whole world to hate you, and you don't listen to any sane member of your own religion about the afterlife you're ruining for yourself?

HEY MAN! THE U.N. NEEDS TO SERVE PEACE COMBOS. Burgeoning Economies, Freedom Fries, Copious Wealth Cola, Happy Meals with REAL prizes, and Moral Shakeups.

Beheadings, unprovoked or unsanctioned bombings, genocide, and other crimes would revoke your franchise. Shelob? You got anything?

Perhaps worldwide broadcasting of  ISIL members in clown makeup harried at a drive-thru window?

. . . wow. I don't know if that's the best idea, but -- I like it. I'm going to go ask Herr D to design one of those political cartoons again . . . TUNE IN TOMORROW.

Make Us Proud Again

"Expiration Date" by Herr D, rights reserved.

I've been looking at these nonsensical practices of planned obsolescence and deliberate fragility and proprietary attachments. Doesn't anybody know that those are BAD ideas?

Plan apparently to monopolize customers.

Oh, so the idea is to strangle capitalistic tendencies by forcing customer loyalty?

Therefore insuring more income.

Well how conniving. Such behaviors are as subtly destructive as corporate waste to an economy. Any true leader of industry should simply do better than his competitors so that everyone would rather buy their products, but only about 3/4 of the population can afford them. There's plenty of population left to be fought over and not everyone buys the best.

Example for demonstration?

Right. The one I picked is graphically great but-- well? Creation of a galaxy is above your pay grade, but it stands to reason that creating galaxies that last for the life of the contained species would inspire a lot more gratitude and loyalty than creating one that collapsed around them.

Oh, let's talk houses. Let's say you live in a trailer park and a tornado hits. You move to another trailer park and that one gets hit twelve times. You know somebody that bought a house that got hit by the third tornado and lost the garage, the back porch, the driveway, and part of the roof.

Even if the house was destroyed, the basement likely would still be usable and the foundation would probably be a good starting point for another house. If you were in your trailer--

You would die.

Okay. I guess that's not a great example. But do you understand? Someone can always make something a little cheaper and inferior. People can buy the absolute junk or go broke--life is full of gambles and trade-offs. Trying to rig the game is always just making it worse for everyone in a selfish attempt at a shortcut. MAKE US PROUD OF YOU AGAIN.

Rain Tax -- Gray Water Exception?

"Gray Water," Herr D, heromachine.com. When I asked him about rights on this,
 he said, "Spread it around; no one should have exclusive rights to this!" --I
 would have to agree with that. --Hairy Deewon                                                  

I had a small argument with Herr D today about this picture. I told him I thought the green in the barrel was emphasizing toxicity. He said it's a color that makes most people think of money.

His references to stereotypes about color were -- colorful.

Ha! Well put, Shelob. He said that neon glowing green would be his choice for obviously toxic waste. In the end, he does know stereotypes better than me.

Shelob put me on this topic because of the arguments in Maryland about the so-called 'rain tax.' I have to know, because I couldn't find out any other way--             Is there a 'gray water' exception? The problem is runoff. If people deal with it properly, then maybe they shouldn't pay it. The newsfeeds Shelob prepared didn't mention it, and I'm not going to hack into the legal code.

I asked Herr D to illustrate how easy it is to make a gray water assembly from a roof. He says he's made a few for clients out of old water tanks and used barrels. He says that any old garden hose with leaks can be drilled with a good drill bit and 'mashed into the hole in a barrel.'

 I guess if you don't make the right size hole you should use concrete or mortar to seal around the hose.

Gray water kits are available through various merchants.

Sure they are! But if you don't want to be paying taxes, I would assume you don't mind borrowing a few tools and picking up some trashable odds and ends instead of buying something outright. Besides, then you don't also have to pay for the water to water your lawn as often. I CAN say from experience--

Rephrase.

I can say from, uh, my preliminary research, that the runoff from Maryland doesn't taste as good to . . . the fish and plankton as the runoff from Virginia except for a few small properties I've turned in anonymously to the authorities already. Will that do, Shelob?

Yes.

Okay. Question for the day. Who's done gray water stuff before, what sort of plants shouldn't you water with them (Shelob couldn't find any,) and is there a gray water exception to the rain tax?

Time Travel Backwards? Well, Industry Is . . .

Herr D, heromachine.com, rights reserved. Set
on a false premise, but not bad! --Hairy Deewon

Herr D had this notion that telepathy should only be possible to an earlier version of your own brain, kind of like moving working files to an earlier version of a software package might still work. Organically that would have to be backwards, because synaptically vital 'code' wouldn't be there earlier but would be later. Still, not too bad a theory for someone who's no experience with time travel math or advanced neurobiology. Worthy attempt, man!

According to an article posted recently online, researchers have strung together an EEG device feeding info through the net to an output device that flashes lights at an observer. The article says that a vague message has been passed with success. If that's true, then fuzzy logic or this 'telepathic enabler' device will only have to progress two to three orders of magnitude closer before that movie Firefox will become possible. It won't happen, bu I don't, uh, forsee success in the near future, but, interesting progress, right?

Your tech is coming along great. Just, uh, watch those byproducts, okay?

How many people can come up with irrational moves industries have made? One example is that more miners of fossil fuels die in accidents about every four years than have ever died of accidental radiation combined.

Deal With Lawsuits The Fairest Way--

Herr D had this great idea. He says that litigious people have hurt industries by suing so much that ladder companies have more warning labels than rungs on their products.  He says that such lawsuits have damaged our country by costing entrepreneurs too much money in liability insurance and lawyer fees to insure that dumb schmucks don't come up with some new way to misuse their products and ruin their livelihood.

Normally I'm used to coming up with the solutions myself. He already had one.

See below and comment on what it would take to put it into practice.

"Best Warning Label" by Herr D, rights reserved. Produced on heromachine.com. Good idea!

Good And Hard

"Clownfish" by Herr D, rights reserved, produced on heromachine.
com. I like! --Hairy Deewon                                                           

I have no bones to pick with anyone. I have no bones.  about how they should be as a group. Stereotyping sometimes baffles me, though. I know I'm not hu--

No specific declarations on said topic.

Stupid gag order. Uh . . . here's a theoretical question for you. Of all the possible anatomies for a sentient species, would invertebrates have an advantage in tending not to be bigoted or closed-minded in other ways? I HAVE been working on the theory that bones cause subconscious "stiffnesses" in thought processes where it can't help. I thought that's where the word 'bonehead' came from. Hardheadedness has no place in deciding how other beings are based on inconclusive evidence. Thinking should always be as flexible as a tentacle with just as good a grip on reality.

Underwater Rugby--You Got Schooled!

                                   

Ever found yourself in a trance, being a lot more detailed and involved than usual? This picture is an example of what can happen when Herr D gets that way. I'm gonna guess that was over 200 layers. I'm either hungry or homesick just looking at it--what did you do if you were ever unusually into a task?

"Ush Hour" by Herr D, rights reserved. Produced on heromachine.com. Personally I would have named it "Underwater Rugby." No wonder I couldn't reach him--this one obviously took some time. --Hairy Deewon  (Ush is apparently salmon in some Native American tongue spoken by the Columbia River Tribes? Anyone want to check on that?)                                 

All Hooked Up

[bubbles, shards of rock, bits of shredded underwater foliage, and silt flowing outward]

(*&^%$##@!  SHELOB!

[entering medbot] Arriving. Describe injury (-ies) or cond-

Fishhook! Stuck in my largest blue tentacle! *&^%!! THAT HURTS!

[pressing on neural interference point similar to human accupressure point] One moment. [wire cutter appendage cuts through hook, magnet pulls pieces free, microresistor cauterizes one edge of wound selected as most likely infection point] Done.

^%$#! Thanks. Fishhooks really hurt. There are times I'd like to see a few certain people get metal stuck in their skin--

Research request granted. [neuralink information burst]

[choking noise] Yuck.No wonder people are so cavalier about using fishhooks on fish. They hook themselves too. I thought those metal bits were glue-on.

Those exist too. However, pierced ears common. Herr D has picture of fetishist 'supervillain' assassin.

Really? I missed that one. Get that for me, please? Herr D's incommunicado. Can anyone explain this?

"Metalhead Vaults Into Action," Herr D, heromachine.com, rights reserved.

Oxymorons, Anachronisms, And Mysterious Moans

Herr D made "Lona Tull" on heromachine.com, rights reserved. The crab swimsuit and seahorse shoes really caught my eye. Clever!--Hairy Deewon.

I've been looking more at what people emulate and misplace. The above picture is of clothing emulating sea creatures. The species don't belong there or look exactly like that, but it's a cool effect. Herr D tells me he tried once to take a picture of a woman dressed in Renaissance Festival gear carrying a basket of produce against a background of aged-looking stonework with a water fountain in one corner. Same sort of thing. There's a website for a place I might check out if I go that far inland called dinosaurland.com where resin sculptures of beasties from yore 'live.' Probably less than eighty feet from a few Toyotas. I 'traveled' recently to find a genuine streetcar (mostly gone) on the sea floor off the coast of California . . .

I've just been thinking what other structures I'd like to see on the sea floor.

The Playboy Mansion, from recent, longer web searches.

HEY. That was research!

Did you discover purpose of mysterious moaning?

[Base of largest blue tentacle turns dark green] Uhhhh. I'm working on it?

Returning you to research mode--

Wha--[disconnect] 

Missed Miss' Missives' Mission

I did this on heromachine.com. Mr. Green was pre-made.

So there's snail mail, e-mail, Facebook, Twitter, Instant Messaging, skyping, phone, fax, and--

which one did I leave out?

Several.

Yeah, okay; but that's the point I was making. It looks like there are a cumbersome number of communication methods. I started to look through one single recently deceased person's communications and got too involved. I missed Labor Day yesterday.

Labor Day was the day before yesterday.

What?! *&^%$! That late administrative assistant typed more each hour than I ever have in a single blog entry. E-mail and other media were checked five to seven times an hour and updated. I'm beginning to see why she died of heart failure . . . how does anything get done if all you do is talk about what's being done?

Bulk analysis suggests that her entire role with the company was summation and reporting of other peoples' labor.

. . . yowza. I missed the whole point of her job? Wow . . . anyone feel free to point out something else I've missed. [disconnect]

Another Letdown Of A So-called Leader

Well, Puddinhead Putin has done it again, huh? "Don't mess with us, we've got nukes." Gee. I guess he doesn't think NATO or the UN has the authority to suspend any in-house privileges or make any sanctions or encourage anyone to stop trading with them or vote to hold a seat for Ukraine against his wishes? I guess he doesn't know that by now, five to seven nations in the world each individually have the capacity to destroy all of his nukes with less 'collateral damage' than Chernobyl?

"General Mayhem's Mistake" by Herr D, rights
reserved, made on heromachine.com.--the idea of
a weapon that can tell you the best reasons not to
use it is kind of advanced. --Hairy Deewon           

I mean, he's not dopey enough to make EVERYONE hate him like Isis, but come on. How hard could it be for the EU or the World Bank or anyone with authority over world currency to devalue their money? If they don't value the sovereignty of others, why does anyone value anything of theirs?

What would be the easiest, most convenient way to put out Putin?