When You Can't

Have A Fit . . . 

Designed using Heromachine3 by Herr D.

 This whooziwhatsis has a problem. No one pair of footwear is ever going to fit it. I kind of understand the problem. *EDIT: Hairy forgot to program credit for the following to Herr D*
You might say I have the problem of grossly over-sized feet. When leaving a job, no one can fill my shoes easily, and my little toe doesn't fit in the door of most employers. I have to all but lift and carry the whole workplace to GET my foot in the door. 

What would you do to handle problems like these?

Compare These Two

A

B

Bishops from underwater chess set designed

by Herr D; reposted here with permission. HD

This is the first Sunday of my blog., so today's question is moderately religious. I have to say, true faith in any form is something wonderful. How do you prefer to deal with people who: have wrong notions about your faith, naysay about your faith or condemn faiths, try too hard to convert you to theirs, drive people away from yours?

I imagine that if I were a woman in the Islamic faith, I'd feel nervous about wearing a burka near an airport even though the general public has been informed about extremism not being representative of mainstream faith. (That does seem odd to me, btw.) Did people of other faiths ever think that all Catholics and Protestants bombed abortion clinics, or that all Buddhists thought about self-immolation for the right cause, or that all Wiccans dance nude in the moonlight cutting themselves?

I realize full well that I don't understand a lot about humanity, but so far, I haven't found any two people perfectly predictable based on each other. That seems to mirror other species. I know that knowing people that are supposedly like myself hasn't really helped me know ME.

Ah, well. Sometimes I have told people that they didn't know what they were talking about, sometimes I have asked people to stop doing or saying things, sometimes I've ignored them, and sometimes, when I was younger, I argued with them. I've converted others, but, besides that, the only satisfying conversations I've had with others about religion were more about finding common aspects or realizing there were things I didn't know that I SHOULD have.

Vacation Photos

Recreation for 'Hairy' using Heromachine3 of a UB photo of

Aelihoh during a foggy moonrise featuring 'Winn,' one of the

few local sunpriest plants who talks about harmful tourism.
Hairy forgot: recreation FOR Hairy BY Herr D, hm3, rights
reserved.                                                                                          

I knew this guy once who was becoming a forestry ranger. I asked him where he'd go to get away from it all. He gave me the most awful glare. What is it about going anywhere that you don't normally go that makes it a vacation? Is it more that you don't like living where you have to live or more that other places have opportunities to do things that you can't do where you live?

For me a vacation is working less, having fewer ideas, and traveling less. Rarely do I do MORE of anything except sleep and eat tastier food. How about you guys?

Vacation photos are their own odd topic. On finding out that a one-hour photo place did life-size enlargements, I, impressed, offered to bring in some shots of the Grand Canyon. Would you believe that clerk threw part of a display at me? She yelled rather loudly, too.

You Too Can Look--Like THIS

Diva Of Tickle Pop-recreation of photo by 'Hairy'

using Heromachine3. Universal Biologic reserves

all rights to original submission but allows limited

reproduction for educational purposes. -UB Legal

Hairy forgot: recreation by Herr D, rights reserved.

Now I know not everyone is a xenophile, but I'm sure most of you have heard people complaining about the pressures to look certain ways. I find it a little confusing, personally, because I don't enjoy looking at discomfort on a female's face caused by wearing high heels or corsets, for example. I very much enjoy looking at someone happy.

To a degree, I do understand that people can feel hideous. I have had people look at me as if I was some sort of monster. It didn't feel very nice. I know I'm not the most attractive [species name redacted] I've ever heard of, but I'm probably not the worst looking. I've don't have any burns or parasites or diseases or anyth-- 

Beta test successful, Hairy. Information successfully withheld from 'blog.'

Oh! Thanx, Shelob! That's a relief. Now I won't have to be cautious at all! I was pretty sure, since we weren't getting any error messages. That one module--

Confirmed. Ask question.

Oh yeah. I'd like to know the answers to FOUR questions today. First, when you feel attractive, does it feel better to be appreciated by a random stranger or a significant other? Second, why do you think that is?

Third, what is the worst appearance-changing process for which you have physically seen a before and after? Fourth, what made it the worst? 

Explain picture history?

What? Okay. It would be about twenty years ago now that I happened on this interspecies cabaret. Tickle pop wasn't well known then and hadn't even had airplay on the intergalactic stations. This diva's name would transliterate to whistles, mostly, I think. She was quite the hottie but old-fashioned in her way. Not even her lovers knew how many hands she had. (More than six.) She ruined a [gross approximation] lipstick signing it for me between sets. I gotta get going, folks. Tide-silt's messing with the modem. Hope to get your opinions.

Okay, well how about the issues about Navy submarine females? As long as we're down here blogging, it might be nice to peek in a few portholes and see females once in a while. I've been reading about the "Hi, sailor!" stereotype with great interest. I understand that the Navy wouldn't want to pay for an OB/GYN per submarine and that males might not be as trusted for such a job in this day and age when women are encouraged to become doctors of every specialty. I also understand that since humans don't have the choice of laying eggs or deferring fetal development--

CONCISION. GET TO QUESTION, HAIRY.

Oh, yeah. Thanx, Shelob. Question! In your opinions, what do you think is more likely to work with the least controversy between the following?

1. An all-female submarine.
2. Experimental program where two females join sub crew, one being medic for whole crew, the other being the expert on the nuclear generator for the sub. (Obviously someone would have to be pretty stupid to rape their only doctor or the one most capable of nuking the whole sub and everyone in it.)
3. Fully automated subs.
4. Chemical castration of crews, temporary of course.
5. Sterile coed crew (Just have fun, but don't you dare neglect your duties!).
6. Refit sub with double airlock between male and female halves of split crew.
7. Regular sub crew with one female crew member who everyone knows has syphilis. I understand females don't show symptoms?

I plan to post a picture for this later as well. AND NOW I KNOW HOW TO PUT IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE!

HAIRY FORGOT! This cartoon by Herr D
on heromachine.com, rights reserved.

Those Unqualified To Quarrel

Here is one example of both sides being told to go home, not practicing what they preach. Their 'memory sticks' glow a different color than their ambient color, which represents the stand they are taking in the debate. Give credit as if not copying your photo.

I made this, as I make most of my digital art, on Heromachine.com. It's a fantastic illustration tool--I highly recommend it. Jeff, the creator and owner recently started making even more improvements, and the community, should you become a member (not necessary for use,) is one of the best groups I've ever encountered.

First Question--The Door 'C' Method

Hello, everyone, and welcome. I've decided I'd like to see how many hum--I mean people! Uh . . . I'd like to see how many people can SIDESTEP AND FIND DOOR C.

Did that translate, Shelob?
No, try explicit example.
Okay. By the way, everyone, I'm not that tech-savvy, so I have this webmistress. She'll be advising me a bit dealing with . . . this. You. Blogging. Okay--

You all must have noticed how many arguments are useless to be a part of. Two people each take a side and go on till they give up. Like the abortion issue. I'm guessing people will be arguing both sides till humanity kills itself off by that certain industrial process you haven't invented yet.

Edit that out. Future knowledge is bad for them. Say 'forever.'
Okay, thanks; but it'll be automatic as soon as I finish the casual translation subroutine. I've got the bugs out of it already. It'll handle the content I'm not supposed to reveal.
Use false metaphor. Depict your species, culture imaginary.

Ah.

Imagine that instead of the usual shouting, sarcasm, and tired rehashing of the same old arguments that don't get settled, the ISSUE (we'll stick with abortion for now) was being argued on stage by a pair of aliens!
In the traditional way for these aliens, two sliding doors in one frame, labeled 'A' and 'B,' were placed between them. Each one speaks in turn, adding a lock to their door.

Alien A: [adding lock to door 'A'] It's not your right to tell us we can't abort pregnancies!
Alien B: [adding lock to door 'B'] It's not your right to end another life!

At this point, someone, (perhaps you) sidesteps around the argument from the side they were on to find door 'C.' While the first two doors were for 'Abortion rights' and 'Birth regardless,' door 'C' is for 'Convincing contents.' If the marsupial pouch on the other alien has the correct contents, the argument may continue. If not, the argument must CEASE IMMEDIATELY as it is being argued by the wrong people.
Be concise. Long attention spans not common.
--Yeah. In other words, if I was ALWAYS pro-choice, I would ask the pro-life person for proof they adopted unwanted children or at least were a member of Big Brothers / Big Sisters. If I were ALWAYS pro-life, I would ask the pro-choice person for proof that they would agree to outlaw abortion temporarily during a potential extinction event, like if the world's population dropped to below eighty thousand in less than a year. Because these aliens would have registered for emergency preparedness plans.

 If they could not satisfy me that they were the right person to argue, I would simply not talk about it with them anymore.

How many of you out there can do that?
Good. Fairly clear. Picture ready?
Not yet. Have to post that later.