Friday, July 22, 2016

Third-Party Threat To Current Nominees Should RSVP

[radio modem check connectivity verified, diagnostic complete, salinity and depth interference modulated, edit complete, upload begins]

[first pre-recorded blog fragment begins with research for requested graphic posted just below, graphic placed near end of blog]
"AComparison-usDASHpoliticalDASHpartiesDOTinsidegovDOTcomSLASHcompare" credit in title. Screenshot by Herr D.

[Opens blog function. In preparation for autoblogging, examines nature of Hairy's blog.]

Hairy's First Principles state when an argument cannot be settled, both sides are wrong. Idea seems paradoxical, but the reality modeled by any successful system is not binary (base two), as computers here usually are. Reality's coherent complexity requires base eleven, rather than base two, so two sides are statistically unlikely to be correct.  Hairy has unusual anatomical advantage for this sort of thinking. 

If neither side of binary argument is likely correct, American political situation computes. Neither side is correct, superior, or complete without the other. Codependency, counter-productivity, and other destructive tendencies of a two-party system were predicted by Founding Fathers of America. 

Hairy's First Principles also declare presence of opportunity in all conflict. Perhaps someone is aware of opportunity in situ? [searches Facebook for 15.504 seconds]

Quotation found; Codename StarU wrote [sic]:

Dear independendent/third party candidate: what are you waiting for? A formal invitation? Ok. Here it is.  Please run for President. This year. Consolidate/ negotiate with other independents if you must, to unify your voters, but look around you?  Now is the time to break through the Democratic/Republican precedence.  What better political climate could you ask for than now? And what could be a better resum for a candidate than the first Independent to unite the third party movements to save this country from both Trump and Clinton??? Your invitation has been sent.  Please RSVP as soon as possible.

Predictive functions do not calculate favorable odds, but a 47-55-year-old, charismatic, famously self-educated female having served local politics in more than one locale with vastly different laws has best statistical profile calculated thus far. [msg sent to Herr D incl rq for graphic, blog unit saved for later addition]

[resumption] Herr D has provided the research (above) that he based his graphic (below) on. He said "surprised to discover several points to unify these parties with."

  1. Smaller, more representational government is a goal of all three, bringing power "back to the people" by degrees. Working from within a place of power to change said power has been noted by many theorists, ranging from political science to the mathematics of game theory, as the most successful way. It is noted especially for the purposes of bloodless, permanent, attritional changes such as approved by American Founding Fathers.
  2. Isolationism, various, is a goal of all three. A lack of war and other involvement in other sovereign nations is desirable to many. Focusing upon internal problems is another laudable plan, according to theorists ranging in specialty from political science to Alcoholics Anonymous. Reasons vary in the extreme.
  3. Environmentalism is only slightly less universal. Specifically is dominant platform point of the Green Party. "Stewardship of God's creation" is a value derivative within the Constitution Party. For the Libertarian Party, this may be a sticking point unless the environment is treated as an individual with rights not to be impugned upon, or unless the rights of future generations of individuals to thrive are recognized politically. In any case, two for three is better than most successful compromises require. 

With these and more not be summarized here, Herr D made this:

UPDATE: "Invitation From StarU" on by Herr D. Update by PhotobucketMustDie-bot

Obviously creativity is something that should be examined in a later blog episode.  

For now, perhaps this solution has merit to the binary problem of American politics.

[recorded blog session assembled and complete, upload, disconnec--  

Friday, July 15, 2016

Nice Cops Finish Last Heroically, ISIL Needs To Stop Killing, Try Eclairs

[Shelob is communicating via neuralink, without words, of the urgency to test Shelob's capacity to autoblog during Hairy's biannual attempt to travel home. Shelob cites medbot's travel restrictions are imminent, including blocking Hairy's news access.]

Yeah, go ahead and do a test run. I'm out of it, just like medbot wants. [translatable to sulk]

Congratulations go out to French police for successfully preventing additional loss of life and for additional new security measure. Calling the attacked place Nice, pointing out that it is a nice, if anonymous, place, is a good psychological ploy to remind the reader that they deserved better.

[cringing] That's not too bad a first autoblog for the season. "Nice" is actually the name of a place in France, though. Pronounced like the daughter of a brother. What timing medbot has!

Do you have a suggestion for improvement?

Maybe a return to first principles would be better? Leave out the place name misnomer?

Congratulations go out to French police for successfully preventing additional loss of life. As Hairy puts it, "Destruction is pathetically easy to accomplish, and nothing to be proud of. Where one infected mosquito can kill a hundred people, it takes a team of five or six people to save even one of those same people." The truest tragedy is that perversion which allows anyone to imagine a negative as a positive. The capacity for such perversion lives in all humanity, and must be addressed in re-education if humanity is to truly thrive.

Yeah, okay. Go on with it. [sigh, swims to bunk and latches self in]

Newt Gingrich, incorrectly referred to as "that salamander guy" by Hairy in recent communications, called for perusing ISIL websites to be a felony. This is incorrect as a focus. Anyone reading ISIL websites and commenting how foolish and perverted they are or suggesting uses of ISIL resources that might be more productive, even humanitarian, would by that logic be committing an "un-felony." Since this capacity does not exist in U.S. law, it is obvious that Gingrich's suggestion is incorrect. 

Links to suicide hotlines, counselors, educational opportunities, and sales of chocolate might be advisable to provide to such sites. These are constructive uses of the internet and might obviously help counteract the perversions offered by such groups as ISIL. Murder / suicide instead of chocolate eclairs is, to reconstruct Hairy's values, exceptionally foolish.

[trolls recent works of Herr D] Even those who want to kill might be wiser to have harmless fun instead. Please observe Herr D's suggestion of stopping for a party game below.

"The Charade Of Undead Pirate Simms," by Herr D on Reprint permission by permission only.

Thank you for your attention. Find whatever peace and enlightenment you can as Hairy will be largely unavailable for most of the Perseid season. Stop killing and eat more eclairs. --Shelob


Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Hillary's Bat Mitsvah And Other Nonsense

[in preparation for autoblogging, Shelob records session of news-related conversation]

[laughter from gills, sad tears in one eye as Hairy is watching five split screen images]

It's all too much, Shelob. News channels disconnect please.

Emotive analysis questions. Which news items were funny?

That business about Trump's 'antisemitic' ad? Multiple layers of irony there.

Please explain.

Okay. First of all, I was imagining someone from Trump's campaign being too drunk to think how they sounded. 'He doesn't hate Jews! He hates Muslims!' or 'He's not a bigot, he just deserves the bigots' votes because of all the bigoted things he's SAID without THINKING!'

That does not seem within his self-interest.

That's not all, either. Shelob? Visually analyze the corrected version with the circle.

Subjective visual analysis inconclusive.

Well, what you can't subjectively analyze is that the circle looks stupid. If this had been an eight-pointed star, no one would be saying this junk. But a circle looks stupid there.

And the idea that it is from a white supremacist source?

Well, that's something else entirely. The source material is important only to a degree. There's that clock aphorism, right?

'Beat the clock?' 


'Even a stopped clock is right twice a day?'

Yeah, that one. The internet makes sources less important. Then there's that bit about the sheriff's star. Not everyone puts those outward teardrops on the points. Some people save metal and make them harder to damage all at one go. It IS an acceptable sheriff's star--but all this totally misses the big points!

The points are all the same size.

[ignoring Shelob for the moment] How did Trump begin to think Hillary had a bat mitzvah?

Does Trump actually KNOW the differences between Judaism and Islam? Between the Torah and the Koran? People need to stop wasting time with whether he's bigoted and just remember he's IGNORANT. Ignorance is better than prejudice. I don't usually think it's a LOT better, but, yeah.

You also showed indignation.

The indignation? I felt that watching the bit about Obama's 'timing.' That one moron actually said it was odd that Obama campaigned with Hillary right after the FBI's announcement.

His implication that the findings were forced. This is not a valid conclusion.

No, it's not. It means someone told Obama, or he had their office bugged. The president DOES have the right to advanced briefings. Does no one remember that? He's IN the executive branch. If this had been a setup, the F.B.I. announcement would never have called her "careless."  Frankly, I doubt if the guy wants to go to federal prison for doing anything but coming down as middle-of-the-road as he can.

The sadness was over the dead man in Baton Rouge. You are not commenting on that.

No, and as long as America has a president that is not Caucasian, I won't talk about that very much. Bigotry is always worse when bigots can perceive their hate-targets as having an advantage.

You are speaking of hater's entitlement when there is too rational an alternative.

They won't view it as awful when they believe everything is rigged against them, and "haters gotta hate."

So they will hate more thoroughly and violently.

Yeah. Earthlings are lucky they're not occupied by the Bluons. If they heard about racial strife, they would point out that skin is like clothes--it can be removed. Then they'd remove the skins of everyone who'd been more violent than swatting a fly. Very egalitarian and horrible, besides being reptilian. I need a longer nap. Are we prepared for the season? [Starts checking bunk's bots.]

[end recorded session] 

Friday, July 1, 2016

Dastagir Points Out ISIL Is Already Losing Without Directly Saying So, Thanks, And War-Wish-Away Reprint

[recorded segment begins as Hairy has suddenly stopped watching four of the five split screens he had cued up and reads exclusively one still article]

Dastagir! You SLY one, you!

That particular article appears to point out the obvious.

That journalist has successfully pointed out that terrorism as a tactic is becoming less effective, now that Americans and others have become more blase about it. Terrorism fatigue! Good term.

You appear to be speaking subconsciously about a current event while referencing other current article.
Subtly, not subconsciously. And, yes. In fact, I'm going to go on record and say "Don't be a turkey."

Ambiguity warning: Do you mean the "Jive Turkey" created by Herr D, the Turkish government, or a Turk.
I'm sure everyone knows what I meant. In the meantime, I have to address someone namelessly:

!Thank you to that certain follower who occasionally, by their focus, reminds me of my most important blogs. I appreciate you, and I would love for you to comment directly instead of just revisiting my older work in such a helpful manner. You are right again. This one is timely.

Right now, everyone, have a look at this blog, reprinted in its entirety from July 17th, 2014.

Some of you may have been curious to meet Herr D, my fave digital artist. This just in, straight from him:

Dear  'Hairy,'
First, thank you for your continued inspiration, encouragement, endorsement, and advertisement of my artwork and the consistent mentioning of, my gracious canvas, paint set, and publisher. I have never had such a great fan before.
Second, I have a serious question. For someone who obviously wants to help and would obviously like more feedback, why have you never really spoken about war? There are some very troubled places right now, and maybe you  could help a lot of the people there? Maybe some good advice for the non-combatants?
Third, I would like to meet you in person someday. You know why it would be throwing away my health to enlist and that I'm Quaker but would have liked a chance to serve my country as a medic or a cook or clerk or something. I'd like to meet you and discuss how much more 'evolved' you'd like us to be, particularly when it comes to violence. Until then, I'll continue to communicate [this way, method redacted].
Thank you, 
Herr D

Um. Wow. I guess it's time. Herr D, thank YOU for encouraging me to start this blog. When I found you, I figured you'd just avoid me like most others did. 

Okay, point for point but WAY out of order, here it is: Yes, I know you wanted to serve as a non-combatant for the military and understand why you couldn't have. I think maybe though, that you just did in your own way.

I can't imagine meeting you face to face. I have vows of my own to fulfill, something you seem to understand, though you don't seem to know and might not believe the real reasons. Please do keep communicating as we have been. 

War, as it happens, is a peculiar problem for me. I feel incompetent at advising anyone at all about being a soldier, except for the obvious. If you believe you'd be treated better as a prisoner of war than your own side would treat theirs, surrender. That way you're not killing the people who would be nicer to you and yours. The non-combatants? What could I possibly say except 'keep your head down and go away if you can?' I actually admire the courage of people who die for the cause they believe in, even if it means being in such a horrifying thing as war. I admire the brave warriors on both sides. I especially admire the ones who shoot last. You know who you are. They're doing a job for what they think are good reasons.

The strange thing is I look UP to them and DOWN on those above them. Maybe if a world leader or two would like to comment on here, I could listen and moderate? After all, it's the ones ORDERING the war that are the ones that need to change.

As to evolving, humans are evolved enough to stop war NOW. It's just that culturally, not enough people are ready. I'm sorry to say that we should really just be grateful warfare is so inefficient right now. If it really does take 3000 more years to reach permanent peace, just LIVE THAT LONG AS A SPECIES, OKAY?  

This is actually really neat that history repeats itself in such a predictable fashion. Shelob?


Submit this to the blogging function.

Right away. [segment ends]