Friday, July 15, 2016

Nice Cops Finish Last Heroically, ISIL Needs To Stop Killing, Try Eclairs

[Shelob is communicating via neuralink, without words, of the urgency to test Shelob's capacity to autoblog during Hairy's biannual attempt to travel home. Shelob cites medbot's travel restrictions are imminent, including blocking Hairy's news access.]

Yeah, go ahead and do a test run. I'm out of it, just like medbot wants. [translatable to sulk]

Congratulations go out to French police for successfully preventing additional loss of life and for additional new security measure. Calling the attacked place Nice, pointing out that it is a nice, if anonymous, place, is a good psychological ploy to remind the reader that they deserved better.

[cringing] That's not too bad a first autoblog for the season. "Nice" is actually the name of a place in France, though. Pronounced like the daughter of a brother. What timing medbot has!

Do you have a suggestion for improvement?

Maybe a return to first principles would be better? Leave out the place name misnomer?

Congratulations go out to French police for successfully preventing additional loss of life. As Hairy puts it, "Destruction is pathetically easy to accomplish, and nothing to be proud of. Where one infected mosquito can kill a hundred people, it takes a team of five or six people to save even one of those same people." The truest tragedy is that perversion which allows anyone to imagine a negative as a positive. The capacity for such perversion lives in all humanity, and must be addressed in re-education if humanity is to truly thrive.

Yeah, okay. Go on with it. [sigh, swims to bunk and latches self in]

Newt Gingrich, incorrectly referred to as "that salamander guy" by Hairy in recent communications, called for perusing ISIL websites to be a felony. This is incorrect as a focus. Anyone reading ISIL websites and commenting how foolish and perverted they are or suggesting uses of ISIL resources that might be more productive, even humanitarian, would by that logic be committing an "un-felony." Since this capacity does not exist in U.S. law, it is obvious that Gingrich's suggestion is incorrect. 

Links to suicide hotlines, counselors, educational opportunities, and sales of chocolate might be advisable to provide to such sites. These are constructive uses of the internet and might obviously help counteract the perversions offered by such groups as ISIL. Murder / suicide instead of chocolate eclairs is, to reconstruct Hairy's values, exceptionally foolish.

[trolls recent works of Herr D] Even those who want to kill might be wiser to have harmless fun instead. Please observe Herr D's suggestion of stopping for a party game below.

"The Charade Of Undead Pirate Simms," by Herr D on Reprint permission by permission only.

Thank you for your attention. Find whatever peace and enlightenment you can as Hairy will be largely unavailable for most of the Perseid season. Stop killing and eat more eclairs. --Shelob


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