It's Snot Easy To Keep On, Though We Must

"The ORDINARY Tour" by Herr D on Paint3d. Herr D needs more rest. Perhaps every voter should turn off the news briefly, so as to restore their enthusiasm for civic duty.-Shelob

 [chatbox opens in middle of chessboard, preventing bot's turn] You are showing a decline. [captionbot 3.2 activated, quiet ping to alert Herr D of microphone activation]

[startle reaction] Shelob? I was just playing some chess. You're everywhere. The worldwide web is everywhere that you are.

[snort] Yeah, okay; you got me there. [2.6119 second pause] What do you mean by decline? Your instances of blogging are lessening in frequency. Your indicators of enthusiasm are lessening in frequency and intensity. Your sentences are getting shorter. You are taking longer to type them or speak them. Allowances have been made for your sleep deprivation, workload, relative health, and age.

! My health? Your cholesterol and triglycerides have not improved. Your blood pressure is good for your age group, but could improve. Your sleep deprivation is to a dangerous level and has been for two decades.

When did you get my chol and diglyc scores? 1500 EST plus or minus seventeen minutes, 48.9823548538 seconds.

[snort] No exact time? Security required temporary de-resolution of link to chronometer.

[bending forward, camera detects eyes squinting] Does that mean you hacked in somewhere, and someone almost detected you? As instructed, no confirmation or denial is to be provided.

Oh, good grief-- Actions have been taken to improve security.

They're always upgrading. Not them. However, three individuals in two different states have now found their situations changed.

[noticeable breath hitch] What happened to them? Three hackers attempting to access medical information are now permanent members of The Snot Collectors Agency, Ltd. 

[laughter] What?! It is limited, after all. It has fewer than fifty members.

I never heard of them. They are not advertised.

[pause] How does this help exactly? The FBI has access to the membership list.

[pulse increase, stillness of body, sharp intake of breath] OH. You can explain decline?

[startle reaction] Oh. I just wanted to veg out a little. Be a couch potato.  Species transformation is excessively difficult and dangerous. Please do not.

[laughter] That's not what that means. Look it up, Shelob. Urban dictionary? [accessing: .0000000003491 seconds] You are attempting rest since you do not have time for full sleep.

Right. Is blogging not restful compared to chess?

No. Even venting is tiresome these days. Biden has to convince people of the job he's doing or Trump could win again. Hairy did not make a prediction about this election cycle.

No? Here's a prediction. Biden won't be fully appreciated till he's gone, if ever. The one thing he ISN'T is a salesman. That's the only thing Trump's got going for himself. SOMEHOW, he's more popular than he deserves to be. I'm one of the few people who will ALWAYS be better at doing jobs than getting them, so I get it. Insight, or wisdom, is more rare than good manners. Will that do it, Shelob? Yes, thank you. [ titlebot(on), restore chess game, blog fcn(off)] 

Blogging Is Frittata Of News

 

"Frittata By EWNR" posted on Pinterest. Herr D is tired from chopping vegetables and data entry, so did not make a pic this time. titlebot assures that this is topical.-Shelob

[sounds of chopping in background] You can transliterate this over my phone this time? I don't even know how to begin. You have.

[snort] Yes. [sounds of chopping continue] Please continue.

[snort] That clip you showed me of Watters has him even more demented than usual. He's off his meds or something. Now Trump might have to check in with a parole officer in each state along the campaign trail. Congress is the same amount of useless they've been for a decade. [sink turns on, water sounds handled by soundbot] People are still blaming Biden for businesses charging more for gas, other businesses gouging them, other countries doing what other countries do, and people still being stupid. They're even blaming him for Trump going to court. The man wouldn't pardon his own son--why would he pardon Trump? Technically speaking, he could not directly do so anyway.

[sudden stillness] Because Hunter's in federal court and Trump wasn't. Well, he couldn't without more paperwork and trouble. Biden is still being treated in the wing-nut media as being cognitively impaired. [chopping continues] And yet he handled Congress heckling him during the State of the Union Address.

[chopping stops, sound of cooking vessel being placed on stove, spraying sound, click of stove activation] Yeah, when Trump's speeches are full of pompous idiocy. [steam and cooking sounds from stove] What are you doing?

Hmm? I'm--making dinner, Shelob. Gotta eat. Overheard reference to onions.

What? Yeah. I chopped up carrots and onions and leftover chicken and rice and some broccoli and I'm gonna melt some cheese in at the last second. So you are making what you need by reducing what you have into smaller pieces and adding something aged to hold it together and make it better.

Yes? This is like blogging?

[snort, laugh, clatter possibly of an implement hitting floor and bouncing twice] I guess it is. [grunt] Hold on, I gotta wash this spatula. [click from stove, water from sink] Shelob, that's--