Just Correcting Another Lie We've Been Taught

Herr D made this on heromachine.com. He said the figure was premade, one
of the many useful features of the program. --Hairy Deewon                            

Okay, this one took me a while to figure out. The buzzword "nonrenewable" is not an example of inferior science. It's a LIE.  The fact is that humanity CAN prepare new sources of fossil fuel, you just aren't fast enough or wasteful enough or awful enough to do it successfully. Some more accurate terms might be "unconserved," "inconveniently reproducible," "inefficient," or perhaps "foolish." But I've begun a recipe for you--Shelob? Repeat those facts for me?

Approximately 13 billion bushels of corn at an average of 48 ears of corn per bushel per year produced in the United States according to various sites available to Google.com.

Therefore the shuckage?

At minimum of one pound of external leaves to be shucked per ear, that makes 624 billion pounds of potential foliage for petrocomposting.

Okay, that's the foliage. But it has to be composted in a tar pit, right? Did my chemical suggestion pan out?

No, Hairy. But net did.

I . . . what?

Also available to 'casual research' parameters, tar pit source.

Oh! Go ahead.

2.65 million miles of paved road in United States.

Doh! Very good, Shelob. Okay. If you take all the asphalt being broken up whenever roads and maybe the parking lots get maintenance, that should be enough to build a tar pit. Petro-compost the corn husks in it for a mere ten thousand years. Congratulations, you just renewed the crude, dude! Some people plant gardens in window boxes. The same general idea could be done for crude oil. Produced locally, no one would be dependent ON the oil to transport the oil to them.

Animal proteins necessary for best petrochemicals.

Yeah, Okay. Why not bury all the atheists in it? If they don't have a religious reason for a funeral, why not let them contribute to future generations?

Solution complete.

Great! Somebody get right on this, okay? I gotta go take another break. Had a bad case of oxygen narcosis yesterday. Overslept and ate WAY too much plankton. Digestion's still not quite right. [belch] Gotta go!