Thursday, November 6, 2014

Conundrum And Conflict Continuing

[dull, steady clunking noise] Shelob?


Remember that rant I went on yesterday about that jerk I saw?

Fully recorded. Do you wish instant replay?

[clunking noise ceases] Um. No. Thank you. It just made me think. These saline-uptake batteries, have we checked them for toxic output? This [redacted--specific body-of-water reference] doesn't need to get any MORE polluted. [biggest blue eye dilates] I'm not the only one who would suffer.

Per your last instruction: seek to leave no molecular trace. The saline-uptake process and reverse wave machine generators produce surplus power. The unavoidable electrolysis and other processes produce ozone, which we inject directly to the ozone layer by time differential and orbital wobble. The peroxide has filled the appropriate medkit basins, the hydrogen used for heat and your 503 inch curved plasma screen for porn.

Naturalism. [defensive coloration] I'm studying mating habits of a certain species.

The sulfur and other troublesome ingredients have been separated into bins.

How much have we got?

[translates to 841 grams, including pollutants from that industrial plant you turned in to the EPA.]

What happened to them?

They paid their fine, performed the arbitrary cleanup as instructed by the courts, changed their dump site, and continued as usual.

[choking noise] They're at it AGAIN?

The fines represent one third of their monthly revenue. Not profitable to cease.

[more choking] I'm gonna go make a phone call. [opens locker, starts putting on E.D.G.A.R. suit]
I don't get it. Everyone knows that without plankton, the world DIES. This company? It's like they're stupid or something.

Shelob insert: On being told by a mugger, "your money or your life," the victim smiled and said, "you should take my life because I need my money for my old age."

The conundrum continues. [disconnect]

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