Friday, November 7, 2014

Failed Medical Drama

[loud, long belch] Hey, Shelob, are you back?

Fully returned. All subroutines report success.

[tosses plankton basin aside] Okay, report then.

Statistics completely inconsistent. Findings still relevant with unanimous agreement within established medical community.

What are you saying? You have findings without numbers? I don't remember programming that.

Internal logic algorithms support factual searches with non-numeric results.

Oh! Like a cross-check on a web search--go on, then.

1. Doctors, along with other, lower-paid medical personnel, express dissatisfaction with pay, citing their student loans as the problem.
2. Consumers report medical bills too high, despite insurance.
3. Insurance cost unpredictable by any logical scale. Pre- and post-Obamacare data suggest no logical pattern.
4. Medical test purveyors, pharmaceutical companies, medical equipment companies, medical equipment maintenance companies, and medical educators all report difficulty paying overhead, making payroll, turning profits.

Y--yeah . . .  does that sound wrong, or what? Any ready explanation?

None found.

Wow. Use the metaphor subroutine we've been working on. [picks up dirty plankton basins, puts them in automated scrubber]

[sixteen seconds pass] Directional subject input?

Example? Well, these are the medical fields. Diagnose the current system as a patient.

[rapid neuralink burst, Hairy spasms, begins narration in odd, hollow voice]

"Doctor, Patient X' blood pressure dropping again!"
The doctor sags visibly against wall. "Thank you nurse." He picks up the phone. "Yes, Dr. Genius? I need a consult. Patient X has lost fifty pints of blood. No, I'm not joking. We keep pouring more in, and it keeps disappearing.

No. No obvious injury. No blood collecting inside the skin or seeping out. I don't understand where it could possibly be going. The bed should be overflowing with blood. No parasites found on the cat scan, no broken bones, despite patient's near comatose state.

I don't believe in vampires sir; come and have a look!"

[Hairy spasms again, resumes previous demeanor]

Yuck. Blood as money. [writhes uncomfortably] Remind me not to do that again. We'll arrange some other output--leaves me feeling dizzy and with a bad taste in my mouth.

Well, that experiment was pretty much a failure. Obviously the medical industries, especially the insurance industry needs to try for more transparency. Does anyone out there have any suggestions for forcing the medical industry to be subject to all the same laws as other industries?


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