Shelob? Did you double-check these numbers?
Yes. Verified through multiple servers. Caution was required as multiple operatives are trolling, looking for our presence.
Operatives?! [Hairy returns device to bracket] Who? NSA again? Homeland?
One freelancer who works occasionally for the NSA. One foreign operative. Seven purely illegal hackers.
I thought our numbers were up. Haven't had this many views in a while now. Or did we happen on something with popular content?
Pretend news is apparently popular.
Oh--well, in THAT case . . .