Monday, November 24, 2014

Same Bad Time, Same Bad Channel-Surfing

[with one eye on a pressure gauge, one on a temperature gauge, one on a small device held between two tentacles, Hairy twists slightly and eyes the large screen with two remaining eyes]

Shelob? Did you double-check these numbers?

Yes. Verified through multiple servers. Caution was required as multiple operatives are trolling, looking for our presence.

Operatives?! [Hairy returns device to bracket] Who? NSA again? Homeland?

One freelancer who works occasionally for the NSA. One foreign operative. Seven purely illegal hackers.

I thought our numbers were up. Haven't had this many views in a while now. Or did we happen on something with popular content?

Pretend news is apparently popular.

Oh--well, in THAT case . . .


I've noticed, by sending Shelob along various server connections, fiber-optic networks, and having him monitor radio modem broadcasts and 'zines, that many people are unhappy with the choices they can afford on various media. Satellite radio, television channel packages, websites for showing reruns or renting shows, sometimes in their entirety, are not exempt. An acquaintance of mine complained several months ago that he didn't like spending twice as much to get one channel he wanted when he didn't even want most of the channels he had. He considered them no better than 'dead air.'

Does that count as fake news?

Perhaps. Style not match error. Declaring Herr D by name would have been more effective. Also unwise to name Shelob unless terming Shelob 'field correspondent' or 'research assistant.' Also, new does not seem popular without more emotive words.

[double take] News.

It was one new item. Is plural form irregular?

Yeah. News is like, well, hair. When you're talking about just, say, one to six of them, you say 'news,' or 'hairs.' When you mean a headful, you say hair. When you mean general and uncountable, you say, "What's new, buddy?"

Have you finished that emotional valence program I started?

No. Too many variables. They outnumber your hairs.

. . . HEY! [disconnect]

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