Friday, March 27, 2015

Malcontents In The Middle East, Domestic Terrorists Not Imported

[discordant beeping] SHELOB!


What's this about the first military traitor?

First alleged ISIL recruit from active American military.

Oh. I was gonna ask how they had firing squads already when this was the first one. Thank you--I had a lot of trouble understanding the accent of that newscaster. What's-his-name, Tom Cumberbatch was the first, right?

Benedict Arnold was the first American traitor by at least one American history text.

Is that what they named Eggs Benedict after?

Uncertain. Perhaps it was a famous poacher.

[snickering] So will they execute him and his cousin if they're found guilty?

Uncertain. If they prove educatable, they might attempt restitution to the state by joining the public 'outcry' against ISIL.

How likely is that?

Uncertain. Current political movements exist to abolish the death penalty completely, but this is a military matter, at least in part.

So he could be given two different sentences?

That is the way the law appears to read.

Wow. I just don't even quite want to understand how someone would think that way--turning on your own country for a terrorist group? Yeesh. [becomes instantly absorbed in a child's cartoon] Now that isn't even physically possible! What are they teaching kids?

[notes discontinuity, as Hairy took the opposite stance for certain individuals in Nazi Germany]
It is not rational. [disconnect]

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

No Bull's Eyes, Just Bullies And Their Bull

Okay, I give up. [raises eleven tentacles upwards] Is America doing the Radio Free thing again? It needs to start. Some of you are aware that ISIL has 'targeted' members of the American military. They screwed up less information than the average pundit, but their inaccuracies could still be successful ammunition for fighting the messed-up way they've been telling people to think.

[multi-tasking resumes] I will not be pointing those out specifically, because the correct information is none of my business anyway. Targeting families, risking families makes enemies and reeks of desperation and incompetence. ISIL members obviously want to die or they wouldn't deliberately make so many enemies. (Especially in such an incompetent manner.)

America's got a much bigger problem. With the Secret Service going through so many scandals, and our government demanding more transparency, won't the Secret Service have too big a job once ISIL targets every public official that speaks or votes against them? Maybe when somebody gets impeached or horribly underdeservedly scandalized in politics from now on, we could credit them with an anti-ISIL speech and withdraw Secret Service protection and / or private bodyguards for a day? True leaders should always have more to lose and be more concerned about acting legally and for the good than the average citizen, especially veterans and active military.

And ISIL obviously doesn't care about their accuracy--just the death part. [disconnect]

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Stephen King Is Rusty

-n so I can blog this.


Thank you, Shelob. So, some of you have probably heard about Stephen King demanding an apology from the governor of Maine. I just listened and looked at the original statement and noticed something odd.

The gov doesn't accuse King of not paying taxes. The gov accused King of moving away to a state where he WOULD pay less in state taxes. That doesn't sound like the same thing. That sounds like the gov incorrectly assumed King moved because of business acumen outweighing sentimentality.

King's responses seemed so confused, only backhandedly confirming that he still lives in Maine at least enough to owe state income tax. It made me wonder what happened to King. Then Shelob ran a search for me. King wrote a trillion words--

Inaccurate. The actual num--

I DON'T CARE! Shelob, I'm making a point.

Emotional, not actual numbers.

Right. You still might get a few numbers wrong after that last round of reprogramming anyway.

Likely. Your point?

What? Oh . . . oh, yeah! My point is that King might be a little oversensitive about the money he's paying the state. It IS a lot. But he doesn't need an apology. He needs to take a breather from all that writing and read a little slower.  He messed up there. If the gov messes up and doesn't report his address correctly, he might be safe to write the truth about ISIL, right? [disconnect]

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Sanity, Sayings, Salmonella In ISIL, And Self-Rising Flour

-n? That doesn't make any s-risense! Did somebody nuke South Carolina?

Not in this continuum. Unlikely in any we have seen.

Who IS that woman?

Listed as 'Virginia' in other newsfeeds. Apparently she thinks Obama is communist.

[gill spasm] Perhaps she was home-schooled in a bunker by that guy I met named Jersey.

That would require time-travel. He was younger.

Oh yeah. Half-boiled beliefs look all the same age.


What? Oh--actually that one makes sense. Boiling tends to reduce things to their component parts, like fact and philosophy. Baking can cause that odd selfish uprising flouter.

Self-rising flour.

Yeah, that. But why the 'half' in half-baked?

Perhaps a nod to the dangers of salmonella in consuming the dough, still liquid?

Is that what they mean by 'drinking the kool-aid?'

No. There are no eggs in Kool-Aid. That is a reference to groups that pervert religion to a dangerous degree.

Like ISIL?

Perhaps. Specifically that phrase is about becoming indoctrinated fully beyond all hope of return.

Using a rocker.


RIGHT!  Not using-- Off--[disconnect]

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The Guilt's Debate, ISILate, Fascinate, Pretty Kate, Have Sex All Night, Gravitate, The Earth's Own Weight . . .

-n the subject of bias.

Agreed. Suggest you demonstrate bias by talking about Middle East.

[three eyes squint, one rolls, one defocuses] Okay. Turn on the blog function.


Shelob's just been explaining to me that he didn't think he'd demonstrated how polarizing bias really is. I've noticed how extremely views can differ about causality and current situation and motive and--well, everything. Here's an example: 

Anti-Obama pundits have  claimed variously that Obama after failing to resolve problems in the Middle East, that he, against advice from military, pulled American troops out, destabilizing the area, causing ISIL to form, calling ISIL ISIL, made the problem worse by referring to them as "junior varsity,"  not having a plan, not putting troops back in, and blaming G.W. Bush for some or all of it.

Pro-Obama pundits claimed variously that Obama inherited the problems of an unstable region, planned all along to let the region do more of their own fighting, and didn't make anything worse by calling ISIL anything. That the current mess can be blamed entirely on Bush. That Obama's right about everything.

1. Obviously problems in the Middle East pre-date America, and, likely, if America were uninvolved, there would be cycles of barbaric ruination and various degrees of renaissance.

2. America wouldn't elect a president for Obama's first term without them having an 'exit plan' for American troops. In this case, Obama was foolish enough to follow a campaign promise like a person instead of a politician, so that he could be hated for it later instead of right then. --So it's actually the American people that didn't listen to the military. Obama listened to America and did what it said. THAT WAS PARTLY THE WRONG CALL. The average American voter does only have the average American intelligence.

3. If ISIL hadn't formed now, it would have happened later. Was America to occupy Iraq forever? The Middle East has never been stable for an impressive length of time . . . see #1.

4. Calling ISIL ISIL is actually logical, as it points out how ISILated they apparently wish to be. Calling them junior varsity is logical, as it points out how much intelligence it took to form, how much philosophy it took to pervert a world religion, how much wisdom it took to declare war on most of the world, and how much good sense it took to incorporate trades (marketing) and other elements in a new way. We're all lucky they don't deserve to be called varsity. The home team is guaranteed an easy win if it just doesn't get called out the wrong way. I suppose the Republican party wants to try healing America's economy with a war?  It didn't hurt America to call ISIL names. It might be time to openly mock them--belief in free speech comes from being not so insecure as most other governing bodies. It's the coward that can't allow truth to be heard or is worried a majority will believe a lie that censors more.

5. Clearly, by the timing, Obama's plan was to rescue a few people with small missions and not to reverse himself by sending too much of anything back to Iraq. It's a shame those plans didn't work as well as he'd hoped. Pundits trying to claim there was no plan haven't paid attention to the news. More details are easily extrapolated in both emotional directions.

6. Blaming the former president for the former aggression? Well, he was involved. Interestingly enough, Americans were enthusiastic about the operations and temporary occupation for a while. America flip-flopped. What does fascinate me is that apparently no American president has the power and authority to properly set up a lasting pro-American government in a foreign nation. Congress must assist, if I understand correctly. It looks like Obama should have blamed Congress too?

That about wraps it up. The two sides are pretty messed up. Here's hopin' for progress. [disconnect]

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Hairy Returns Believing A WMD Group Is An R & B Group

[mild whump as water displaced by 'fetch,' electronic chattering and fizzing as anionized water electrolytically powers the unit, the hydrogen sent out to replace a large mass, the oxygen bubbling outward into medbot] Yowza! It worked!

Emergence noted. Activating medbot for assessment.

No need! All I had to do was remotely access the blog function, plant a virus to cause mathematical
errors in you, Shelob, and wait for the errors to line up! Then the travel unit centered on fixing the mistakes and brought me close enough to fix them. Lucky it still worked.

Running self-diagnostic for mathematical errors. Do you wish them corrected in blog?

Only if you want to create a paradox and send me out again.

Noted. You are prepared for reentry?

I'm already here, Shelob. While I was gone, the parallel stuff didn't happen! A well-loved celeb didn't blast the news by dying, terrorism didn't either, Herr D didn't have any crises, then there's--

[sixteen seconds pass while Shelob updates Hairy]

Nimoy AND Pratchett? ISIL? Sickness, vehicle and computer failure? What the--

Parallel events of every kind occurred. Continuity has assured these events at every viable exit coordinates.


Obviously your efforts will require some genuine social improvement to balance your exit.

Can we measure that in advance?

That is not measurable. Much of it may occur mentally amongst our audience beyond the notice of our neuralink processor simultaneously with other effects. Suggest blogging resumption immediately.

Right! Um. . . . St. Patrick's Day is quite an event, musically speaking. There's this new band I'm about to investigate called the Taliban Five. The percussion in particular is probably spectacular.

That's a news event concerning terrorism.

What? What about the island and the magical storm and the issues of non-humanity?

Uncertain of reference material. [activates neuralink] Iambs and rhyme, regularly metered prose and stage direction. Shakespeare. Text search. [sixteen seconds pass]

That would be Caliban from The Tempest, a Shakespeare play.

The Taliban Five aren't some R& B group that plays musical spheres, parties like animals, brings down the house, knocks 'em dead, calls out the competition, sought after by the media?

Caliban was a half-animalian man, a physical force to be reckoned with, would have drawn Bigfoot enthusiasts, apparently liked music but didn't play, was only able to survive on a mysterious island that had no place in the modern world faced with reality.

The Taliban Five were terrorists, lesser men because of their criminal history, did destroy and cause destruction of property, including houses, did cause human deaths, and have no place in a world truly evolved to value sentient life, peace, rational but non-violent social change, including the 'modern concept' that all humans are equal. Our ethic does not allow discussion of their musical tastes and abilities without their consent.

I guess their percussion was louder than I thought!  I was REALLY  off-- [disconnect]

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Counting From, Rather Than On, Hairy's Return

For 21 planetary rotations, Hairy has not resumed contact. Medbot has been downloaded in multiple copies to probes. Only 8 probes are available. All have been dispatched along spatiotemporal vectors with multiple incidences of intersection with Hairy's recent signal transmission loci.

Interestingly, the loci, accounting for interstellar drift, follow a geometric pattern based upon the approximate shape of silicon-carbon blend DNA. With any luck, contact, and possibly retrieval, will have been managed before seven more rotations.

How have any of you coped with the feeling of absence when your associates have been longer out of contact than usual? Unlikely that any of you have counted molecules in their last known location.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Rush Hour Solution

Autoblogging must continue as daily recall codes have unsuccessfully activated the neuralink homing attachment. Seven more planetary rotations have passed with only occasional traces of Hairy's presence in deep space. Return protocols not activated.

Topic today: Overcrowding. 

Commutes cause 'rush hour,' during which rushing is constantly attempted, but almost impossible to observe externally. Also, the time period is grossly underrepresented. Suggest change of term.

Hairy ordered a study of correspondence regarding various age groups, noticing that before adulthood, a standard schedule is not so ingrained.

Looked at properly, the population's schedule can be described on a circle. 
Rotate 0.5 population 180 degrees. Wait two years.
Rotate 0.5 population 90 degrees. Wait two years.
Rotate 0.5 population 45 degrees. Wait two years.
Rotate 0.5 population 22.5 degrees. 

Overcrowding on roads will have been reduced by a factor of 8. Economic growth should increase by 12%. Societal flexibility will have improved subjectively.  Building use will be more efficient.

Note: approximately one third of population has a form of seasonal affect disorder and should be selected for remaining close to a standard schedule.