Hairy Returns Believing A WMD Group Is An R & B Group

[mild whump as water displaced by 'fetch,' electronic chattering and fizzing as anionized water electrolytically powers the unit, the hydrogen sent out to replace a large mass, the oxygen bubbling outward into medbot] Yowza! It worked!

Emergence noted. Activating medbot for assessment.

No need! All I had to do was remotely access the blog function, plant a virus to cause mathematical
errors in you, Shelob, and wait for the errors to line up! Then the travel unit centered on fixing the mistakes and brought me close enough to fix them. Lucky it still worked.

Running self-diagnostic for mathematical errors. Do you wish them corrected in blog?

Only if you want to create a paradox and send me out again.

Noted. You are prepared for reentry?

I'm already here, Shelob. While I was gone, the parallel stuff didn't happen! A well-loved celeb didn't blast the news by dying, terrorism didn't either, Herr D didn't have any crises, then there's--

[sixteen seconds pass while Shelob updates Hairy]

Nimoy AND Pratchett? ISIL? Sickness, vehicle and computer failure? What the--

Parallel events of every kind occurred. Continuity has assured these events at every viable exit coordinates.

@#$%^&*(###@*%

Obviously your efforts will require some genuine social improvement to balance your exit.

Can we measure that in advance?

That is not measurable. Much of it may occur mentally amongst our audience beyond the notice of our neuralink processor simultaneously with other effects. Suggest blogging resumption immediately.

Right! Um. . . . St. Patrick's Day is quite an event, musically speaking. There's this new band I'm about to investigate called the Taliban Five. The percussion in particular is probably spectacular.

That's a news event concerning terrorism.

What? What about the island and the magical storm and the issues of non-humanity?

Uncertain of reference material. [activates neuralink] Iambs and rhyme, regularly metered prose and stage direction. Shakespeare. Text search. [sixteen seconds pass]

That would be Caliban from The Tempest, a Shakespeare play.

The Taliban Five aren't some R& B group that plays musical spheres, parties like animals, brings down the house, knocks 'em dead, calls out the competition, sought after by the media?

Caliban was a half-animalian man, a physical force to be reckoned with, would have drawn Bigfoot enthusiasts, apparently liked music but didn't play, was only able to survive on a mysterious island that had no place in the modern world faced with reality.

The Taliban Five were terrorists, lesser men because of their criminal history, did destroy and cause destruction of property, including houses, did cause human deaths, and have no place in a world truly evolved to value sentient life, peace, rational but non-violent social change, including the 'modern concept' that all humans are equal. Our ethic does not allow discussion of their musical tastes and abilities without their consent.

I guess their percussion was louder than I thought!  I was REALLY  off-- [disconnect]