'America Ending Theory' Makes Hairy Laugh, And He Is Surprised What People Forget

On Herr D's request, attempted to get Hairy's input on current blog topic.  To that end, prepared partial neuralink incursion to Hairy's psyche under medbot's supervision. Results included 20% of Hairy's available brain cells, approvable as he will only remember dream references, if at all, and not be traumatized. medbot's report is that Hairy's dream psyche must be examined in context of divisions of lucidity. Luckily, Hairy's programmed enough context determining software. Herr D's request:

 I'm very concerned about the numbers of people on the net falling for the 'Obama is the last prez conspiracy theory,' Shelob. I know you're saying Hairy's in 'medical stasis,' but can't you get his opinion somehow? I know the world is full of loons, but sometimes their panic levels are infectious. Can you do anything about that?

Results: 

[image detected, third attempt: kind-faced Kali-figure massaging Hairy in intimate fashion] Hairy?! Call to lucid-dreaming Hairy neural segment: Please attend.

 [approximately two-fifths of Hairy translucently leaves massage, four tentacles, one blue eye, and one brown eye waft away from image--to position of attention]

Herr D's concern:  [number redacted] people apparently believe one or more of the following: [neuralink burst, showing contents of seven different websites] Please make contribution-thought to current autoblog on subject.

Are you serious? Is this a joke? Is this a dream?

Dream partial interrupt. Real, however.

[glances back at dream imagery] Ohh. I get it. Lucid dreaming separation.  Neat idea. What're loons?

Terrestrial bird species. Possible context reference to crazy person.

Oh. [clarifying self-shake] Got it. Well, off the side of my partial being--
Off the top of your head.
Right. Uhhh . . . List of four things:

1. Conspiracy theorists are always wrong, not because their ideas are impossible, but because huma people don't work that well together. Conspiracies fail because people can't keep secrets that well and are lousy at teamwork.

2. Aliens--uh-- 'would' certainly keep their OWN evidence destroyed. Most species out there have no interest in being found by species who are still crazy enough to have conspiracy theorists and / or governments who attempt conspiracies. The rest of them are just like 'let 'em come, they can't do any HARM.'

3. Every prophecy about the world uniting is wrong. An alien INVASION, if such a thing were likely [eyes roll] would fail to unite humanity. Putin would say 'the other nations will die, we'll prevail.' Mao would think the enemy would be more hurt by us confusing them with disparate tactics. Kim Jong Un would claim he could kill them with one missile. America would try to run the attack and be ignored. Western Europe would be so divided no one could keep track. Most of the rest of the world would assume it was a hoax and go on farming. 'Too many cooks spoil the broth.'

4. The religious prophecies have an extra little something. There's a passage somewhere in the Judeo-Christian text that Herr D is so fond of that says that no one will know the day nor the hour . . .
--So in theory, the world can only end when the conspiracy theorists AREN'T  making a prediction. I'm just guessing the world will have to end QUICKLY. [snicker]

5. The morons saying that Obama is wrecking America have forgotten that he's improved unemployment and a few other things for the last seven years. How quickly they forget, right? If he was doing badly, things would be worse instead of slightly better. --and Congress is still fighting him. Morons.

This IS better than the topics you've been picking, Shelob. Go for it! [translucent partial form swims back and starts directing kindly-looking Kali figure to different intimate acts]

Content included. Autoblog complete. [transmission, blog function off]