Herr D Thrown For Loop, Shelob Caught In One

"Her Rxn" by Herr D on Paint3d. Aphorisms are very confusing.-Shelob

 The stats do not match.

[startle reaction audible, then typing] Shelob? I'm at work. Stop doing this. Your security system at work needs improving. I have dispersed three threats for them, since their system is insufficient.

'Dispersed?' Internally caused them to seek out other links, IP addresses. A form of misdirection.

ok--hadn't heard of that. And they still can't detect you? No.

[inaudible]    The stats do not match.

What stats? Many news sources are still claiming that crime is up. Which crimes do not show up in law enforcement agency data?

[7 second pause] Imaginary ones. News agencies are reporting imaginary crimes?

[plugs in headphones] Show me an example.

[27 second pause during clip] Actually, the anchor there didn't say there is more crime, he said "sources like that one" are saying there is more crime. That source was a lamebrain. Do you have any data on that source? [.00000000000053 second pause, facial recognition software used, verification by timestamp and GPS in subject's phone data] REDACTED is a white male currently paying for seven identical magazine subscriptions, donating to Trump's campaign, watches Newsmax, reads two sites under review for potential hate speech crimes by the FBI. Has not favorited them.

Which of all that is the least worrisome? His name.

Yikes! His demographic is descriptive of over fifty percent of hate crimes and an above average source of disinformation.

Hey now. I'M a white male. You are one of the good ones.

[snort] Gee, thanks. Did you get an answer about the FBI 100 Most Wanted? Yes. Between American citizens, people qualifying for citizenship, residents of greater than twenty years, and dead people, 87 of the top 100.

Dead people? They are criminals. Some of them faked their own deaths, and some of them really are likely to be dead, since they engage in crime with other criminals.

[snicker] Can't argue that. So a quarter of them are possibly troublesome immigrants. This number is quite small.

Compared to the number of escapees from prison? Compared to the number of criminals currently at large, many unidentified.

How many? Uncertain. Need input.

Thank you, Johnny Five. How would you characterize this set of numbers? 

[compilation, .003967528 seconds] Inconclusive.

[laughter] Immigrants do not commit crimes in proportionate numbers unless they are individually smarter than all American law enforcement, lucky enough that no one witnesses them, and somehow are able to avoid being recorded better than any other human beings. If immigrants obey laws better than citizens, then citizens should want them here more than they want other citizens. If immigrants are so much smarter, luckier, and able than citizens, then citizens should want to hire them more so the economy will improve.

[laughing quietly] Wow. Yep  Smarter, better workers DOES lead to a better economy. Go on. Anything else? The stats don't match.

[more quiet laughter] Nope. Let me know if you puzzle it out. [stands up, hiding headphones, tells nearby worker of need for caffeine, walks away] [exits]