Herr D Thrown For Loop, Shelob Caught In One

"Her Rxn" by Herr D on Paint3d. Aphorisms are very confusing.-Shelob

 The stats do not match.

[startle reaction audible, then typing] Shelob? I'm at work. Stop doing this. Your security system at work needs improving. I have dispersed three threats for them, since their system is insufficient.

'Dispersed?' Internally caused them to seek out other links, IP addresses. A form of misdirection.

ok--hadn't heard of that. And they still can't detect you? No.

[inaudible]    The stats do not match.

What stats? Many news sources are still claiming that crime is up. Which crimes do not show up in law enforcement agency data?

[7 second pause] Imaginary ones. News agencies are reporting imaginary crimes?

[plugs in headphones] Show me an example.

[27 second pause during clip] Actually, the anchor there didn't say there is more crime, he said "sources like that one" are saying there is more crime. That source was a lamebrain. Do you have any data on that source? [.00000000000053 second pause, facial recognition software used, verification by timestamp and GPS in subject's phone data] REDACTED is a white male currently paying for seven identical magazine subscriptions, donating to Trump's campaign, watches Newsmax, reads two sites under review for potential hate speech crimes by the FBI. Has not favorited them.

Which of all that is the least worrisome? His name.

Yikes! His demographic is descriptive of over fifty percent of hate crimes and an above average source of disinformation.

Hey now. I'M a white male. You are one of the good ones.

[snort] Gee, thanks. Did you get an answer about the FBI 100 Most Wanted? Yes. Between American citizens, people qualifying for citizenship, residents of greater than twenty years, and dead people, 87 of the top 100.

Dead people? They are criminals. Some of them faked their own deaths, and some of them really are likely to be dead, since they engage in crime with other criminals.

[snicker] Can't argue that. So a quarter of them are possibly troublesome immigrants. This number is quite small.

Compared to the number of escapees from prison? Compared to the number of criminals currently at large, many unidentified.

How many? Uncertain. Need input.

Thank you, Johnny Five. How would you characterize this set of numbers? 

[compilation, .003967528 seconds] Inconclusive.

[laughter] Immigrants do not commit crimes in proportionate numbers unless they are individually smarter than all American law enforcement, lucky enough that no one witnesses them, and somehow are able to avoid being recorded better than any other human beings. If immigrants obey laws better than citizens, then citizens should want them here more than they want other citizens. If immigrants are so much smarter, luckier, and able than citizens, then citizens should want to hire them more so the economy will improve.

[laughing quietly] Wow. Yep  Smarter, better workers DOES lead to a better economy. Go on. Anything else? The stats don't match.

[more quiet laughter] Nope. Let me know if you puzzle it out. [stands up, hiding headphones, tells nearby worker of need for caffeine, walks away] [exits]

Anti-Semitism Rises With Other Signs Of Stupidity

 

"I'm Bailing Away" by Herr D on Paint3d. Hatred is never a sign of wisdom.-Shelob

Why would people hate Jews?

Everyone is the subject of hate from someone unless they're just lucky. Groups get it worse than individuals, sometimes. Hatred is universal?

I'm afraid it's really common. I tend to hate objects, behaviors, and smells a lot more often. Some people hate people more. I'm sorry to say it IS quite common. Is it wrong to hate haters?

[laugh] Um . . . huh. I'd say that would be the most UNDERSTANDABLE hatred of people. Better to hate the hatred, I guess. Never thought about that angle. Does it qualify as acute angle?

[snicker] I'm gonna go play chess, now. [exits]

The Refrain Of Ukraine's Pain Falls Mostly By Plane

"Ukraine Needs Help" by Herr D on Paint3d. Tentacled creatures are not inherently evil like the war crimes and falsehoods and other dictatorial actions of Putin. Apologies from Herr D for the pixelation within this work, as he was rushed.-Shelob

 

The Ukraine needs help. Putin is a menace to society. Please promise to end careers of every politician voting against aid to Ukraine. The easiest way to end such a despicable career move is to end the despicable career by refusing to vote for them ever again.

Is The FBI's Top 100 American Citizens Only?

"Prisons Have Walls Already" by Herr D on Paint3d. Walls apparently don't work?-Shelob

I'd like to ask who that comic was that pointed out that the FBI's Top 100 are all American. The fact that the REALLY bad guys besides cartel are FROM here. Who WAS that? Preliminary search did not find. Should fact-check?

Nah, anyone who knows should comment. Otherwise, I may have just dreamed it. I HAVE been very tired. Noted. Your skepticism can correctly run to yourself. 

[startle] Am I correct? Unknown. Much comic material is difficult to search. Robin William's material is still being decoded.

[startle, probable laughter]  I bet. . . I miss him. Good night, Shelob. Will you make a picture?

[audible laugh] I'll see what I can throw together. [exits]

Herr D Finds Error In Fact-Check, Inspects The Speckled Feckless Hecklers Reckless Interjections

 

"Congressional Hecklers" by Herr D on Paint3d.

When he called "lies!" 

[42.7 second review of State Of The Union Address] It does seem like that congressman was declaring Trump cares.  Do you believe Trump cares about victims?

Trump really DOES tweet things like 'get over it.' You've shown me those. He's not known for being caring. He's certainly never seemed to ME like he cares about anyone but himself. And the fact-check that pointed out 'trillion' was incorrect?

[58.1 second review] He said 'we' then. If he meant the whole FED, then he's actually correct. Contextually, Trump caused that whole thing by throwing out Obama's anti-pandemic plan. So . . . Biden wasn't actually wrong about that. That was an 'inconclusive' or incorrect fact-check. Can you explain the outburst by MTG, followed by Biden holding up the button?

[three times review averaging 19.7 seconds] I can't make out every word she said, but what happened there was Biden called out Congress, not just for agreeing with his plan and then nixing it on Trump's say-so, not just wasting his time and the taxpayer's money, not just that--but NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT THEMSELVES. They're a do-nothing Congress. It would appear to always be easier to complain than to accomplish.

It is. And Biden, though I wouldn't have voted for him over some other possibilities, has turned out to be a great president for recovery from Trump than this nation could have planned on having. So, you do not approve of Congress?

Some of them are trying, but most of them are just messing up what could be happening. Even the House Speaker, if you watch him, couldn't help but agree quietly with some of what Biden was saying. If the rest of Congress had kept quiet and not heckled him, they wouldn't sound like such time-wasting morons. [rapid scan-.0000004 seconds] Fifty-eight liver spots, skin tags, moles, etc.

? If you say so. titlebot activated [begins exit] H--[transmission interrupt]

Immigration--Just Another Made-Up Crisis And What It Really Means

"Party Perspective," by Herr D on Paint3d. Perspective is exactly what everyone needs instead of the still-fashionable 'alternative facts' or fenty. Apparently, both fashions cloud judgement.-Shelob

[excerpted from chat]

 perspective What do you mean?

Well, the border crisis isn't a crisis, just like the last several 'crises' cooked up by a party. How do you classify it?

Immigration is ongoing. We wouldn't have an America at all if people didn't tend to come here from somewhere else. And is it worse now?

Well, fenty is worse. Other drugs have subsided a bit. You're not hearing about as many heroin or coke deaths because people are dying of a more fashionable drug. That nurse practitioner from the ER told us so. And crime?

The stats YOU showed me said crime is down. It is, and yet people are complaining that it has risen.

That's a Trump-style complaint--no facts, all feeling. How does that happen?

People getting relief don't complain; they rest. People who individually suffer more, complain more.  And those crossing are not greater in number?

No there ARE more. LOTS more. Every good president we've had has spurred more immigration. Many have said it was because of weakness.

No. People come here because they can have hope. They come here when they can tell we are flourishing well under a good leader. When they see humanitarianism and an economy that can help them TOO, they come in. Why would ANYONE have walked 3000 miles to listen to Trump's hate speech and be more underemployed than usual? Why would the cartels be trying to sell fenty to people who obviously couldn't afford it? Coke was historically never such a problem until Reaganomics brought gas below $.70 a gallon. Congress fighting Carter the boy scout and OPEC in revenge for Carter threatening certain countries to stop them torturing the American hostages? They were wrecking the American economy. Gas was near 3$ a gallon and people were so desperate to get a hit they were shooting up with Borax or huffing ammonia. Immigration was down some under Carter, too.  You are saying immigration rises for good leadership?

No. I would say it's about perspective. People dumb enough to think Trump WOULD be a good leader instead of a soul-sucking narcissist kept pouring in until they heard back otherwise from whoever they trusted. That takes time. Cartels will take any market they can. They were a little less in the news during Trump's debacle of a presidency because Trump makes a fantastic decoy. But Trump famously HIRED LESS PEOPLE TO THE FED THAN ANYONE. He was too busy twittering nonsense, inflating his ego, stacking the Supreme Court, committing nepotism, and racking up more felonies. So he's the reason we have fewer border guards in the first place! He also trashed the bill that would've helped 'the situation.' So, rather than a crisis, you are calling it a situation.

When you have a great host, the party wants to grow, including the bad elements. The Republican party?

No. It's a metaphor. nevermind. [exits to chess game]

I'm BAILING Away . . .

 

"I'm BAILING Away" by Herr D on Paint3d. Some people do try to solve problems with illogical means, and some people do try to solve trivial problems while ignoring bigger ones.-Shelob

[excerpted from chat] The border crisis.

? Your stance, please.

Bill Maher has said very few things that I actually agree with, but, approx. : "I LIKE cheap produce."  What does that mean?

Americans charge too much for their labor and are too proud to do a lot of jobs. Go-getters from anywhere can solve that problem. Document them, make 'em give fingerprints, etc., and let them work.

And the recently murdered nursing student?

? [plays news clip of same story from two different channels]

I hadn't heard. That's tragic. Does that change your mind?

HELL no. We've had over sixty instances this year of American citizens attempting mass shootings. A bigger criminal population already lives here. How many immigrants were trying to break into Congress and were involved in the deaths on January 6th? Very few.

How many felonies is our FORMER PRESIDENT accused of? 91 at last check.

He should stop trying to lead by example. You do not think we should close the border?

No. More of our criminals might leave the country. We're probably coming out ahead that way. There are entire websites devoted to counting the laws broken BY CONGRESSMEN. A number of rapes, in particular, which I wish were punished more severely than murder. You do not think walls will keep out the criminals?

Why? We have prison breaks. OUR criminals get through walls. It happens so often that some highways have permanent signs warning motorists that hitchhikers might be escaped convicts. Thank you, that is a logical perspective.