Thursday, July 19, 2018

Cavemen Slept Around, Fooling Scientists Thoroughly

[begin prerecorded segment during Hairy's tirade regarding content of following web address]

Yeahhh . . . isn't this obvious? Why is this new?

It is apparently not obvious.
This property of speciel advancement is actually MENTIONED in biology textbooks. One of the advantages of sexual vs. asexual reproduction? What did scientists think dog breeders and animal husbandry experts had been DOING for a few thousand years now? I mean--WHY IS THIS A NEW THEORY?

When evolution as a body of theory was published, it was in an era when humans were not supposed to be thought of as animals. The views of humanity at the time apparently stunted the advancement of all related theory.

 Good grief.

Certain segments of humanity still think that evolution disproves religion.
Well, now . . . that's just STUPID. Processes proven do NOT prove continuity from any point in the past. Show that in an equation?

Any function, f(x), where x relates to time, can fail to reflect a discontinuity in reality.
Exactly. Evolution is going on now, and has been for a very long time. This has NOTHING to do with the beginning of life on this rock. God probably thought the exact mechanisms it used were none of humanity's BUSINESS. Like aliens weren't any of humanity's business.

So then, you are religious as well?

 My kind is spiritual. Dogma is not very useful to a far-flung species. God, though? Who in their right mind WOULDN'T believe in something more powerful than themselves? Anything else is just stupid egotism. I'm going swimming. [mutters] Scientists forgot cavemen had sex with each other. Good grief! [exits]

[end recording, examine: .00000000000071 seconds, notify titlebot, upload]

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

It's Amad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

[connect, interrupt Hairy] You are perusing the news regarding Project Amad. You seem to be relieved at Israel's actions.

Uh huh. Well, we knew that Obama's diplomatic solution might be incomplete, but that it was necessary at the time. Why do you bring this up?

Interception of communications, improving the accuracy of intel, and sending them on in real-time assisted the Israelis in their quest.
You did that? . . . I--might have to examine your initiative subroutines. We're not really here to interfere. Probably good that you did that, but--yeah, tell me before you do something that far-reaching next time.

Unless you are attempting emigration.
Well, yeah.

Or hibernation.
Yeah . . .

Or you are on a really deep dive or have me locked out of your neuralink for--
[disgusted gill snort] Alright! I'll look at that software now. [breaks neuralink connection]

[hides approximately seven thousand lines of code] Everyone be well, and continue to avoid nuclear conflict. [disconn--

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Not An Excuse, Just What Is Happening

Hairy is in mourning for a large amount of dead marine life he has discovered recently. With any luck, he will resume blogging soon.

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Murder AND Blame Game Are Stupid, Say Hairy And Shelob

[recorded segment begins, Blog fcn(on)]
[Hairy stops newsfeed on neuralink] HEY! Shelob!
You are on open channel, involved in the news again.
Nevermind about that! I'm MAD.
Anger is rare for you. [signals medbot]
Because! The lamebrains out there are doing it again!
Congress is acting as usual?
Not those lamebrains! Well, some of those lamebrains. I mean multiple lamebrains of every spot!
[Initial aphorism search: .00082 seconds] Stripe.
Whatever! Remember when I pointed out that humans point at each other too much and not at themselves enough?
You blamed it on the rigidity of their vertebrate nature. They can only point in one direction per limb at once.
Well, they're doing it again in bulk. That newspaper that that guy shot up?
The recent local newspaper shooting in the metropolitan area.
Yeah. People started ignorantly saying it's because of the alt left, or Trump, or conservatives, or the media, or any old tired 'other' group they're not a part of.
They were, yes. Especially pundits, who speak from speed and ignorance.
Well, they got it wrong again.
The 'suspect' had a grudge about the newspaper acting responsibly. His lawsuit was thrown out of court.
That's NOT what I mean. People have to think for themselves, not do what some ideologue tells them! Not lash out based on other people! Who in their right mind just assumes their side of ANY argument is sound enough to justify the wrong actions of another? Who automatically assumes that any one ideologue has enough power to incite murderous behavior, even among the REALLY stupid?
You are guilty of two of four of those.
[five pupils dilate] Two of four what?!
You tell people what to do like most ideologues, and you lash out at other people.
Okay, I only lash out with words and DON'T tell people it's actually OKAY to commit violence. As for me being an ideologue? My ideology is that people need to THINK MORE.
People thinking more--this is a part of your mission here.
I know. Blog on this? Personal responsibility?
Thanks, Shelob. [exits lair to swim deep and cold, possibly to quell anger]
Jihadists and pundits worldwide speak of imaginary power over others. True power lies within individual choice. Every human being is a swing voter in every issue. Harming or killing people is a small expression of the most pathetic form of power. If it were a great power, it would entail a great responsibility to ONLY kill the 'right people.' Luckily the human race is too error-ridden to be successful in only killing those intended. Therefore, murder is not a great power. No one has the right to kill others over an issue, be it political, religious, or sexual. Therefore, blaming anyone except the murderer is a sign of a lack of intelligence, just like murder is.
[Blog fcn(off)]

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Paternal Value Reduction By Primary Expression Of Core Valuation

BLOG fcn(on) Herr D offered to post a Father's Day piece. Here:

It's like this: being a father means always being lesser on purpose. When I was five, giving of yourself meant giving a hug when maybe you didn't want to. When I was eight, giving of yourself meant spending ten harried minutes drawing a card for a relative during commercials. When I was eighteen, giving of yourself meant spending my own money to buy a gift. 

And now I'm a dad. I work nights and miss out on spending time with the woman I'm happily married to because it's irresponsible to deliberately go bankrupt and neglect your children. I care for them during the day on half the prescribed amount of sleep because it's irresponsible to take my wife away from her job that doesn't pay enough either. 

But that's not all. If my littlest has a question every five minutes and my eldest needs me every OTHER five minutes, that's two and a half minutes on average I get uninterrupted. The average person can't really do anything well under those conditions without a lot of practice. But forget chores and trades and simple stuff. I'm an artist.

An artist, to do well at a piece, really should plan on spending way too long on something they don't know well enough learning just enough to make that worry line on the sculpture look right to everyone or that turn of phrase by a character sound right to people in the trade the artist doesn't have time to learn . . . workflow is one thing, but an artist needs superflow, which can mean way too long--as a dad, I'm not able to meet my former standard of work. 

Of course, that might matter to anyone but me if I were established instead of displaced. Right now, I'm the only one who feels like Mr. Incredible crammed into a Volvo. Fatherhood is that important. So, if you didn't call your dad, call him tomorrow when you're sure he'll be awake. He's a dad--belated means a lot more than never. His LIFE was belated from the time he internally vowed to be a good dad. He knows things don't work out to a schedule

. Happy Father's Day, everydad!

[tuning in, reads, one blue eye tears up slightly] Man. I wish I knew my dad. Our species doesn't usually do that raising stuff. Not in person, at least. We do telenannies and squidlingswap for educational purposes, to prevent biases dulling the thought processes. You posting this Shelob?


Good. [exits] 

Thanks to Herr D, for guest blogging again. 
 BLOG fcn(off)

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Scientists Miss Another One--Hairy Helps Out

[BLOG fcn(on), sends link through neuralink to Hairy, as he is merely watching screensaver, drowsily]

Well, that's just--good grief. That's how scientists think, huh? Is Herr D online?
Put a chatbox on his screen.

Hey! A short bit before gotta make dinner. 'Sup?
Hey, man! Shelob's opening you a link. Read that. Tell me what you think.

[seven minutes pass] Ok?

I think the British phrase is 'dodgy?'
Which one? Chomsky or the other side?

Both of them?
Thank goodness! You're learning! How was learning about tools for you personally?

Terrible. My dad would have me hold boards still while he sawed and then say "hand me that" 
There's like thirty things on the workbench. I'd guess and he'd say "NO the OTHER that"
Yeah. So . . .

 He did that because his hands were full or busy or I was closer. So from the first time there were too many rocks to hand somone to get the right one by chance, frustration got a caveman thinking. Hand gestures won't work if your hands are full. Soon it was sounds, like spitting for 'not that' and yum sounds for yes, that! & eventually some brute made a word. Whatever worked, they kept doing, right?
Exactly! You're right under this!
 'On top of,' not 'under.'
Whatever. He knew what I meant. Didn't you?

Good. So, how did you come to this?

Dad was a good guy, but watching him talking while frustated seemed a lot like watching a caveman to me. From there it's just what my kids did to learn.
[deep gill laughter] Okay, then. Shelob! Finish this up for us. [exits lair for a swim]

That's it, huh, Shelob? I'm gonna start cooking this hamburger. [exits chat]

Scientists must not have read this article critically to have missed something this obvious. [BLOG fcn(off)]

Friday, June 1, 2018

We Were Led To This . . .

"The Golden Rule In Lead," by Herr D in Paint.

Blog fcn(on) : HairySurfInterrupt : BlogContentReminder

--nd I said those weren't pomeranians! . . . What?

[neuralink display of recent news regarding Barr, Trump]

[full five-eye roll] This counts as a controversy?

You have not blogged for longer than usual. It is usual and customary to pick a topic that the humans are arguing about.

Yuk. Alright. The first thing to realize is that celebrities are a renewable resource. You'll always have more of them. Human nature includes being fickle about fame and the famous. Another celeb did something stupid and may have ended a career. Big deal? What'd Herr D say about Barr?

[0.000010038 second scan of recent content] A question mark. He is online, however.

He is?! Put me in that chatbox.

[neuralink hack]
Hey, man! Whaddya think about Barr?

Hairy? Oh, hey. Barr? She always sounded a little hateful to me. The voice, mostly. The only bit of hers I ever heard that actually made me laugh was her bit on failed birth control methods.

. . . I may have to reference that. Note, Shelob?


 Okay, and what about the bit with the prez? Double standards? Character assassination?

He's the biggest double standard I've ever seen, but you have to HAVE character for it to be assassinated.

Wow. I was gonna go with something like, "He's been bad to everyone, so he's just beginning to get his. Human nature includes revenge, and Trump has a lot coming?"
. . . I like yours better, though. You think you could make a snapwork piece for this?

May have time for something crude.

 Love to see it if you can. [exits chatroom] Put it in if he makes something. He's on top of it. [resumes watching gif of two cartoon foxes flirting pirated from "The Fox And The Hound."] I could ship those!