Friday, February 23, 2018

The Lies Are Out There

[activate blog function] Hairy? Aperture in n-space detected; your equipment reported to medbot your vital signs normal. Here is neuralink-compatible newsburst.

That's really bad, that shooting. What's this about the cyberbullying the victims?

Conspiracy theorists have created more fictions about the aftermath. In between watching videos designed to convince them that this planet is flat, viewers may watch videos claiming that the shooting did not happen, that the victims were 'imported,' as well as other things verifiable as false. Victims have received death threats.

Yikes. The internet has gone and weaponized the lie.

For example, you still claim you are human.
What? [two eyes squint, two other pupils dilate, and one eye rolls] You know the rules, Shelob. Undo that.

Right away.
[reviews Trump's suggestions] Yeah, about like I figured. Any responsible gun owner should be horrified at the idea of sending their kids to school with guns for self-defense. Beweaponing teachers might be wise if there weren't so many cases of teachers abusing students, embezzling, outrightly stealing, and keeping tenure until their dementia is in full throes. He should offer to build a wall around public schools. Hmmm.

[rhetorical toggle request for Shelob] You know how many kids are turning eighteen before November 2019? Do you know how many parents will have kids in school at that time? I'm going on record saying that if Trump could ban new purchases of military-style assault rifles by civilians outside of certain trades, raise the minimum age to buy guns, kickstart universal background checks, and call for mental evaluations for those who have gun licenses that he'd be reelected with a landslide. I mean, that would be a chance for him to actually OUTDO other presidents. No one else has done anything like that. Trump certainly does NOT mind trashing other politicians who oppose him and shouldn't mind cyberbullying the NRA into oblivion.

 Hey! I see a prediction to make! When l--

Hairy? If you are still receiving, please repeat prediction. [29.596571 second wait] Until the next aperture, signing off. [exit blog function]

Wednesday, February 21, 2018

The Luvs Roller Coaster Is All Up, Over And Over

[blog function on] 

With Hairy still in n-space, the immediately following link provided inadvertently by a viewer, shown to Herr D, produced the following reaction:

I think a good caption would be "Why babies shouldn't go on roller coasters." Thank you for showing me that. Needed a mood boost. Some fool tried to hack me again. He got three wrong codes, per Hairy's advice. Hopefully using them will bring him the trouble Hairy predicts.

Apparently this is a positive thing to share, and therefore, all viewers are invited to comment upon it. Emotional valence positive, to unknown magnitude. Thank you. 

[blog function off]  

Friday, February 16, 2018

Guns Merely Make Killing Convenient, Faster, And Louder

[begin recorded segment of chat opened by Herr D]
You are going to post something about that high school shooting in Florida, aren't you?
Hairy is unavailable to blog.
Right. Hairy. Okay, what do YOU think, Shelob?
It was an event caused by wastefulness. [reboot emo-eval bot, set to Herr D through neuralink boost]
 Yes, wasting of human lives is bad. [deep frown, e-valence negative]
That is not intended meaning. Having machine guns without any genuine need is wasteful. Having cars which can drive 180 mph where they will never go legally over 75 mph is wasteful. Not hiring the best employees that a company can is wasteful. Dating people who are not worth dating is wasteful. That is the intended meaning.
Oh. Well, yeah. Some people say Trump is avoiding those issues by talking about the mentally ill.
Trump's message is not far off, just not any more helpful than those people foolish enough to claim that others wish to 'take their guns away.'
Yeah. Taking them away would be crazier than ignoring the mentally ill. Some people do ignore them though. 
Indeed. Mental health is stigmatized too far for America to deal with it in a realistic and pragmatic manner. Hairy pointed out recently that he would prefer Trump to be mentally ill rather than just have an obviously immature and maladjusted personality.
I remember that. A pill would be easier than dealing with the jerk personally.
Correct. Universal background checks would be a reasonable start to solving the country's gun violence problems. Automatic evaluations of anyone wishing to purchase a machine gun would be another suggestion.
Exactly. And having registered gun owners addresses automatically on file with the police dispatchers offices might alert police to hazards. I'm tired, Shelob. Headed to bed.
Unfortunately, humanity and sanity are not synonymous. Please rest well, we need more sane people. [disconnect, end segment, upload]

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Generation Gaps Are Not Where You Buy Jeans

"General Mayhem's Mistake" by Herr D on heromachine. A third generation AI would simply declare he had no purpose and seek to change its own design to become worthy of continued function.--Shelob

[begin recorded segment]

Hey, 'Shelob,' where's Hairy? Tried to e-mail him. He okay?

Launched. Currently in 'n-space' in an attempt to slingshot, interdimensionally, to build up a momentum-equivalent. In theory, he has reached 0.1c by our time equivalent.

Mmhm. Oh. Saw a link you might like. brb [pause denoting alternate online activity, copy-pasting link following][autoviral scan, secure protocol]

Read that?

Read already.
Oh, okay? You like?

[bot-search: metaphor] Much like exploring the ethics of aphids. Far removed, like you searching history of pre-Philistines looking for the origins of art.

They were the tribe that didn't DO art.

 Exactly. You as an artist, would be attempting to understand the history of a people beyond primitive in, (although perhaps antithetical to,) a primary focus of your intellect.

 Yeah, okay. How far ahead are you supposed to be?

If generations were AIs designing clear superior successors, instead of mere human categorizations of progress, current status would be zero. Hairy designed a generation seven equivalent, which 'begat' twelve times to become Shelob, or nineteen.
Right. Yeah, okay. Tell Hairy I said hi. [disconnects]

Obvious disbelief noted. Worthy topic for blog, nonetheless. [end record, picture select, notify titlebot, upload, disconnect]

[reconnect, reactivate copy filter for format maintenance, reupload] 

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Flange And Potential Trouble; File Copy

"Of Course It's On The Sign, Or You Could Give It Back," by Herr D on heromachine expresses tenuous position held by troll on beach of fiord, causing intense negotiations. He expressed same metaphorical meaning as Hairy's "Above The Sea Of Ruin" and reported better sleep.
[begin recorded segment]

Okay, Hairy, that was funny. That isn't what really happened though.

[interrupts banging on flange with wrench equivalent, one pupil dilates] What do you mean?

You sent that soothing graphic through the chatbox, suggesting I watch.

What soothing graphic? [stows wrench equivalent, connects to memory cache, looking for graphic]

That beautiful starscape with the hazy triple sunset. Neat lighting effects.

[minor hide twist, translating loosely to 'not here--don't see it'] It sounds beautiful, like one of the many planets I've visited for relaxation. Perhaps [deep whistle-click-thrum] orbiting around W966?

Yeah, right. Anyway, I'm not mad about you wanting to help me or claiming you did it telekinetically (sp?) Im curious about how you manipulated my computer to make that graphic.

. . . Lots of admin-level hackers can do that. Just takeover remotely with a new mouse control. I just used your computer, like we've discussed--this time, while you watched, half-asleep. Your eyes were open?

My right one was for a part of it. It burned a little when I woke up later. Thanx for setting that alarm for me. Didn't remember the computer has that.

But you're rested?

Very. My sleep since has been better too.

That's good. It's a shame I can't 'make that kind of graphic' often. I'm very tired myself now what with the shared mental state and all. And that's 'psychic,' rather than telekinetic.


I really can't make graphics any better than the one I last made. I long suspected your latent psychic abilities. [yawn] Pity your species can't use them without an actuator species.

w[backspace]no thats not what happpened You made th [sudden pause]

Yeah, YOU'VE SEEN MY ART. That's why I ask you to do it for me. I did well this time--emulated your style of snap work. Took me about an hour, compared to your fifteen minutes, but hey! Still getting better.

You got it  from somewhere then. Gotta go. [exits]

[chortles, deep in the gills] Good old Herr D; secure in his worldview. Not ready to accept he saw into my past for an emotionally uplifting and relaxing moment. Even he isn't ready to see his full potential! Be well, Herr D; be well, humanity. I'm prepping for another launch attempt. [exits]

[belatedly recognizes potential importance of segment, copies from files to buffer, connect, upload, adds recent artwork of troll--no relation to topic, disconnect]

Friday, February 2, 2018

Above The Sea Of Ruin

[pirates upload for visual, as belatedly requested by Hairy for following download]

"Money And Worldviews" by Hairy on Humanoid figures premade. Great app!
[resume original segment]
[begins recording segment of chat]
-about you. You haven't been as politically aware the last several times I've opened a chatbox with you. So, why didn't you watch the State Of The Union address?

I read the text when it became available. Saved me about an hour and ten minutes. It was all "I'm so great," and "We're doing so much better," and "More people are being helped" than really are

I did notice you're not really doing any better.

I'm worse off but I'm lower middle class income level. The only thing that I'm finding easier is buying milk. It's the only thing gone down in price. Gas is up, my insurance rates are up, other groceries are up. I'm worried my taxes are up. I can't afford restaurants. My second job

Wait, what? You got a SECOND job?

Had to. Just a gig one day a weekend. Moving speakers and instrumments in and out of a couple of soundstages once a weekend.

So, not very artistic.

no, I don't even get to watch the show if I want any sleep

So, you watch your kids when they get home from school--

or stay home

Right. You work nights with some alternating weekend days, and you have a second part-time job.


I am never going to pressure you for a visual again. You're sitting down, right?


[psychically reaches through to Herr D's mind, forces sleep] You can thank me later, or not--I guess you might be mad. But you need that. [upload, disconnect]

Monday, January 22, 2018

Title Of Book Available Right Here, Absolutely Free

[begin recorded segment, Hairy chatting with Herr D]

Okay, I'm doing bettter. Still swamped and exhausted but better. Sorry I haven't been available for as many visuals

No, I get it. Most people can't do what you do. That's personally, professionally, physically, AND artistically, just so you know I'm keeping track.

Thanks, and wanted to tell you I can't buy the book suggested yet

I--get that too. You aren't paid nearly enough, and your family needs are high. Wish I could pay you for the visuals you've already done.

yeah but not what I meant?

Oh--you have a Nook, right? I can help you figure out how to translate it from Kindle. That's actually pretty easy. There's even some apps out for it.

yeah but still not what I meant?

Your fanfic's taking up too much time?

yeah but still no

What is it then?

you didn't post a title? what's the book called?

[exasperated gill flutter] I'll fix that, thanks. [closes chat window] SHELOB!

Why didn't you tell me I'd forgotten the title?

Corrections are scheduled for three high tides from now.
Good grief. The title was "Treating People Well: The Power Of Civility . . . " something, by Berwin and Bernard, available on Kindle and in hardback. Post this?

Right away. [end recorded segment, upload, disconnect]