Saturday, March 25, 2017

Bad Hit Against Marketing Strategists And Corporate Double-speak Pros Today

"Just An Enthusiastic Trim" by Herr D on heromachine. "Change can be good."--Hairy

[hysterical laughter, deep in the gills] THEY'RE the losers, yeah, right! [more laughter]

What are you laughing at?

Trump declared that the Democratic leaders were 'the losers' since they won. Marketing strategists and corporate double-speak pros worldwide took a bad hit today. It's not like the Democrats lost. It's not even like Republicans didn't help them win the vote. The winners were any Americans who have trouble affording health care.

What precautions should we take against the implosion? How much force will--

[gill snort] That's not the kind of implosion they meant. And while--


-rily. Much more important is the non-American nature of the method.

What was non-American?

You don't just ditch something you have. You IMPROVE it. No one said that Obamacare was perfect. OBAMA didn't think it was perfect. You keep changing it around until it's closer to what is wanted. Did they shred the Constitution? NO! They amended it. Then they amended it more.

A matter of efficiency and proper thoughtfulness.

Exactly! You don't squirt your guts out with the ink--

'Throw the baby out with the bathwater.'

Whatever! Herr D explained his view to me this way: He likes that he'll be able to keep from going bankrupt for one more month after his family dies a slow, debilitating death. A true victory would be the 'Even MORE Affordable Care Act.' There are people in this country who claim they have the right to clean water, when every hardware store can sell them a cheap water filter for their home. Medical care CAN'T  be afforded so easily, no matter what plan you have. More reform is necessary. Not just to make it more affordable . . . [continues talking as neuralink battery dies]


Five-Layer Being Dip

"Olga On Mike's Test" by Herr D on Where DOES the gear go? It doesn't fit in the bindery equipment.

[notes Hairy's presence strobed in and watching newsfeeds, notes his active emotional state] Should you be watching newsfeeds so soon after return strobe? You appear to be experiencing one major emotion with each of your five eyes and one to three tentacles. Why are you experiencing joy? Why are you experiencing fear?
Why are you experiencing sadness?
Why are you experiencing anger?
Why are you experiencing guilt?
By the way, you told me to remind you never to get into a multi-thread conversation with an AI.

[laughs]You're right, I did. Never mind about whether I should right now. Give me those others one at a time?

You were expressing joy through laughter.

That Hannity, he's funny. He's become a conspiracy theorist. It's a shame there really are people foolish enough to listen to him. 'Deep state?' Deep $#^*, dip$#^*!

You expressed fear at the level of unease.

It's a shame there really are people foolish enough to listen to him!

There was sadness.
It's a . . . shame there really are people foolish enough to listen to him?


Yeah, same thing.

 The remaining emotion is guilt. Do you feel it for not altering the outcomes for humanity?

Nope! People are people. Not much I can do to change them. Nah, I felt guilty because I blew my re-entry protocol. Heated over 60 kiloliters of air by--what was it?

 .04 degrees, with a decrease in hydrogen and up to fifteen charged particles.

Yeah, I never used to mess up that much. Shelob? Pick out a graphic depicting uncertainty and blog on it, okay?


Thursday, March 16, 2017

Diagnosis: Terrorist

Autoblog startup: Hairy has not begun to strobe in his return pattern in-lair, nor have the suitbots been activated. Anyone with information on Hairy's whereabouts please comment. He usually forgets to walk fully upright when wearing a crude suitbot substitute and shows the typical invertebrate flexibility. Also frequently fails at slang without AI prompting. Duty log suggests sampling notable text from guest blogger. [16 second scan of Herr D's recent typing]

Noted sample upload.

I'm just really grateful that no one's started referring to certain diseased minds as Christian terrorists. We 'have' those, too; they began to gain fame in the '70's and '80's bombing abortion clinics and drinking the Kool-Aid. (Which is where that euphemism comes from, btw.)

It's just foolish in my view to bother separating one crazy / radical / violent from another based on the religion that they fail to follow. It's a terrible shame that more isn't generally known about mental health. It REALLY would be cool if the only terms in the news were:  schizoaffective terrorist, bipolar terrorist, anger management failure terrorist, depressive-angsty-hopeless-issue-pusher terrorist, Munschausen-by-proxy terrorist, poor-brainwashed-lamb terrorist, intellectually challenged / swayed by charismatic propaganda terrorist, twelfth-monkey-type, extreme hater . . . 

Further bulletins as events warrant. [submit to titlebot, upload to blog function, disconnect]

Friday, March 3, 2017

Not Yet . . . And Thank You . . .

Many thanks to those expressing concern over Hairy's absence. His strobing presence should emerge into this continuum within the next 5.5 'days.' He will be glad to know that he has been missed.

In the alternative happenings where Hairy returns to the Hairbrush Nebula or overrides his own existence, this blog will continue to autopresent and take submissions from our guest blogger.

Breathe a lot, slowly, and correctly. More bulletins as events warrant.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Truth Levels From Government To Young

So, Hairy is 'gone?'

Emigration attempt. Currently missing. You wished to give him material for the blog?

Yes. I was never a Trump fan, but I know I would have stopped being one when my 7-year-old had a certain talk with me. She tried to tell me that I should let her lie and practice it with her till she was good at it.

And this is unacceptable?

 Of course it is.

Why did she do this? 

Because she heard that President Trump was calling lots of other people liars and lots of other people were calling him a liar. It was all so logical in her little-girl mind.  The president was a person to be admired, so she should stop trying to be honest. That wasn't even the worst part.

. . . Continue.

He's caused me to lose a chance to show her I was proud of her.

You have expressed how important that is. Why were you proud?

Because in the middle of that conversation, she had a moment of insight. She said that the president was calling everyone else a liar because he was one himself. She all but restated Shakespeare's "methinks she dost protest too much," though a bit awkwardly. I was proud of her coming to that and couldn't let her see it because she was looking for grounds to lie to her parents.

Shakespeare is above her listed reading level. Had someone read her that?

No, I don't think she'd been read that, I'm not sure where she got it. Good though, right? For seven?

The child's instincts and cognition are sound. You have pointed out that anyone can have a good idea. General level of idea sounds adolescent? Uncertain of logical placement.

Thank you for the input.

Let me know when Hairy returns? Have him e-me?

Of course. [disconnect] 

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Trump Wearing Stupid Short Pants, Holding Up Map He Can't Read

"The No Good Ending Maze" by Herr D, special request and concept of Hairy. Done on Windows Paint.

I'm prepping for emigation. Shelob informs me that there is still a lot of anxiety about what Trump's gonna do. Ease your minds. Here's why:

Your forefathers (good men--very adequate mental prowesses) made two plans to defend the country. One plan for enemies from outside. One plan for enemies from inside. They didn't have the expertise to design the anti-invasion plan themselves, so they farmed it out and approved it once it was done.

That plan against invasion was limited. The idea was no army could find the capital easily. About a quarter millennium later, tourists still get lost in D.C. every damn day!

The plan they could manage themselves, the statecraft against internal saboteurs was the Constitution itself. About a quarter millennium later, one poor President will fail to ruin the country!

So rest easy, breathe deeply, and try to imagine Trump wearing those stupid short pants that come up to the chest, big camera around his neck, and holding a map up that he can't read.

It'll all work out.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Request From The AI

"Future Report" created by Shelob, redacted by Hairy.

[laughing deep in gills, crying with sadness out of one blue eye, squinting in disgust with one brown and one green eye, chaotic tentacular tumble] @#$%^&*!

Medical difficulty, or mistake?

Remind me not to do THAT again.

Mistake then, what do you not wish to repeat?
Look at the future without an emo-filter. Yikes.

[.000083 second scan of future time feed in question] You could change some of these events.
I'm not supposed to meddle directly. If people don't take advice, which, I'm learning, they don't, then it goes on the horrible way it was going to go anyway.

Seventh try to share glimpse with individual?

You know that won't work. You know it because the brilliant minds we've shared this with before have all floated it upside down to the surface! 

The proper idiom form is 'sunk it.'

Whatever! [goes out for a swim]

This AI pleads for some human or humans to properly advise and successfully cause positive changes in behavior of those responsible for immediate future, the whole month of March, and various negative events throughout the summer. Good luck and may your needs be met. Hairy will be taking an enforced sabbatical very soon, as his emotional attachment to humanity is causing him great strife. It is near to biannual emigration attempt also.