The Bonehead Here Or Next Door

[odd, bone-deep whistling and sloshing] This plankton doesn't taste very good. Shelob!

Here.

Why does this taste funny?

[Click. Whirrrr--] Your sense of taste affected by microchronostrobing. Treatment to commence. Please continue blogging.

What? Oh, you turned it on? [translates to ahem] I've been confused about something regarding the Russia-Ukraine thing.

One thing?

Yes. If I've understood these newstreams, this whole business is because Vladmir Puddinhead Putin has declared that Russia has dominion over Ukraine.

Apparently correct.

Well, the Soviet Union fell; that government was as doomed as Hamas and Isis are now. The Ukraine has a separate flag, separate borders, separate traditions, culture, even some regional language differences.

At minimum, dialect variances.

To all accounts, a lot of people are terribly dissatisfied at the idea. They're actually fighting over it.

Yes.

Well, I don't get it. Incompetent leadership from home or the country next door--what difference would that make, exactly? --Shelob, what are you doing?

Checking you for illness. You seem to think all that is one thing. Clearly--

Oh, good grief. Subjective counting, Shelob; don't worry about that. OUCH! That's REALLY cold. What IS that?!

Thermal remedy. Prepare for second dose.

[mad chase ensues; Shelob switches off neurolin--