Hairy Was More Correct Than The Experts Again: Herr D Is No "White House Interpreter," Trump Not OBST-inate Enough!

[Hairy is actively sucking plankton as recorded segment begins]


--Yeah, my brains DO still ache from re-entry. How many people, do you suppose, remember my prediction about Trump?

You mean your prediction about regurgitation on September 18th, last year? [neuralink reminder]

NO. [chokes] Well, that was memorable. [erratic gill spasms during nausea] But no. [momentary neuralink access] I'm talking about July 12th, 2015. [disconnects plankton siphon from tank]

You speak of "Trump Card Played On The GOP?" That was long ago, considering your fluctuating audience.

Yes. That was long ago. Everyone was still saying he'd be out any time now. Any time now. Any time now. Over and over and over again. [fakes a yawn while cleaning siphon]

You referenced the economic reality of landslide elections, ruination of a political party, Trump staying in the race, benefiting in business no matter what the outcome, and general disgust. Did you achieve psychic contact with him? You have achieved like results in the past.

Obviously, I couldn't have. I wasn't close enough. I tend to keep better company. [heaves siphon aside] But that's not the point! The incredibly huge audiences that all those pundits get--

Tens of millions of people against your few thousand. Most of them are unaware of the founders' opinions that having approximately five political parties would be more constructive.

Right! --and all of them are SO WRONG, SO MUCH OF THE TIME. Don't get me wrong, some of them are otherwise bright people. But those pundits, anchors, commentators, and other talking heads get millions of viewers. So many, that some of them openly try to use their bias to contribute to the scene.

Like you do.

[three pupils dilate in surprise, one eye rolls, one eye noting tentacular flexing] Well, I DO encourage people to think more critically, even while I put in my bias. Most of my bias is that people aren't thinking critically enough. Like that guy was saying that Herr D was talking about.

Herr Obst.

Yeah, him. Chance meetings are neat like that. [rumpling hide, equivalent of frown] Of course Herr D had little in the way to contribute to a guy with his level of experience, just a joke and forgetting the name of that book the guy wrote--

White House Interpreter


[straightening of smallest blue tentacle] Yeah, that. Herr D isn't much, socially, from what he says, but that is the level of company I like to keep, and that is the level of critical thinking that I like to see. My initial skim was fun. Haven't read it through yet, and I'm not going to pirate it--he's way too deserving. [five-eye startle] I mean, even if I was thinking about it.


Are you speaking of Herr D or Herr Obst?

Both of them. You don't suppose Herr Obst does any swimming? [starts to exit lair] Obviously I was probably wrong too--just not SO GROSSLY wrong. Trump will win more by losing the election than anyone else will win either way. Ego trip or billions in revenue or both. [snort] Shelob, you should blog on this.

Will do. [end recording, upload]