Hairy Is NOT After That Kind Of Attention

"Playbeing" by Herr D on heromachine.com

[Hairy is sitting, transfixed, staring at terminal] Uh . . .  Shelob?

Here.

Oh, you're already--yeah. Um, what are the taboos about not really being interested?

Close all pertinent windows. Choose another search topic. 

No. I mean if they appear to be sexually interested.

[12.7 second internet compilation on complaints made on social media about dating behaviors, massive spreadsheet containing conflicting data downloaded through neuralink]

Well, that's a lot to choose from--and complicated enough to go wrong no matter what! Okay. Shelob, automate a notification for me.

Concerning? 

Concerning those three women and that one guy in Japan. They should know that I'm NOT dating anyone ON purpose and that maybe they should delete their internet history. I mean really, the women do interest me a little, but their few limbs are so short and BONY. How do humans keep from hurting each other anyway?

You wish your status to be 'straight male, humanoid-curious, but celibate?'

Uh, yeah. Except emphasize that I'm human. We need to keep that up for now. [looks at plankton feeder sadly] I've lost my appetite. Back later, Shelob! [exits lair for a swim]