The Tragedy Of DSF's Hiatus, News Brought To You By Our Favorite Visitor

"Hairy As DJ" by Herr D on heromachine.com. DSF sometimes gets AI's just right.-Shelob

 

[opens chatbox over e-mail tab, dividing screen] Herr D.

! Hey. You have not blogged.

Uh, no. Sorry. Holiday crunch. How overdue am I? Per your revised schedule, two days, seven hours. Per previous schedule, one week. Per Hairy's revised schedule, five days, seven hours, eleven minutes.

Wait, what is it revised to? You are to average two per two weeks plus one instance on your one week only working 65 hours or less per month.

Right. Thank you for the two-day slack, then. I haven't even SEEN any news since Monday. The break room t.v. is broken again. You have a guest blogger.

[agitation under laptop] ? 

 [neuralink delay for transmission over 5000 miles] Hey, man!  

[vigorous agitation under laptop] God, Hairy! How've you been! 

[neuralink delay for transmission over 5000 miles] Warmer than I should be, but doing okay. Far too many secret subs trying to find new ways through the Arctic. Not that the Northwest Passage is going to open right away . . .

Shelob's been saying your 'suitbots' haven't been transmitting.

 . . . but the glaciers HAVE been somewhat smaller. Oh, yeah, I've had to program them to line up for signal bounce. Have you monetized the blog, yet?

No. I'm REALLY BAD at that sort of thing. I've done maybe a tenth of the reading. It's a very effective way to fall asleep. Glad to hear from you. You coming in for Christmas? Your holiday observations were always interesting.

[neuralink delay for transmission over 5000 miles] Oh. Christmas HASN'T happened yet. I thought I'd call up and offer consolation about dsf hiatusing.

[choking noise detected over microphone] Uh, hiatusing isn't a word. Do you mean dailysciencefiction.com? [opens next tab to start checking]

[neuralink delay for transmission over 5000 miles] Yeah. You didn't know?

[cursing detected over microphone] No. I was going to look next week to see if they were ready for submissions again. I haven't even had time to read FLASH FICTION recently. I'm like, only caught up to late October and haven't read all the fantasy sections yet.

I'm gonna miss them! They need to come back. Quick preferably.

Shelob notified me of a plot in a recent submission. Shelob? Here.

Get Herr D that link? [sends reassuring feelings psychically]

*  https://dailysciencefiction.com/science-fiction/robots-and-computers/jenna-hanchey/we-found-ourselves-beyond-the-vanishing-wave  *

[opens tab, copies link, stops to read] Are you SERIOUS?

I told you you got it right, man. After all, that was the final reason I selected you to take over. That wasn't the piece you were writing, was it?

[laugh] No. I had completely forgotten that idea. REDACTED FOR SPOILER. I guess I should have jumped on it back when I thought of it. You weren't going to, obviously.

[neuralink delay for transmission over 5000 miles] Nope. Hey, I hope you have a good one. I gotta go. Tides shifting again, and I haven't had enough plankton. [endtrans]

Wow. DSF! We're gonna miss you. Come back! For those of you who aren't familiar, the address is dailysciencefiction.com, and they've got a decade's worth to read. It's free, and you'd never know it by the higher quality content than you'd expect. Thanks for connecting Hairy, Shelob.

You are welcome. [blog fcn close]