A Good Pic And A Reasonable Question

"Seawater-Extracted Mercury Makes Good Egg Paint" by Herr D. Not bad--just some logical flaws.

. . . and why would I paint an egg?

Hug A Genius, Publish Your Worthy Friends, Just Keep Swimming

I just checked in with Herr D since it's been a while, and I caught him having trouble with a poem. I told him 'it's good enough to publish.' He didn't believe me, so I'm publishing it.

Here she blows!

Current Thoughts by Herr D

A house-sized funnel catching the world’s rain

Whirls my sensory pool ‘round over the spout thin as hair.

That tendril thrums and shoulda broke by NOW.

Base instincts to finished objet and

full-length novels swimming upstream

Fight that torrent through the data pool for the chance to fly away free!

Free from my over-crowded ocean teeming, ROILING with more and more and m-

My trauma-tired tendril hangs in, waiting to be broken.

I know that it can’t go on long, but I can’t stop

Ahabing—driving my white whales out

--surfing on my dolphin’s backs cuz I wanna fly too.

But weighted down on sandy bottom I drown more

each time the spout kicks one back.

How can this storm go on?

For any of you who don't know, Herr D has an unnamed learning disability that affects his memory and his ability to communicate at speed. His genius being stuck inwards, therefore, is rather frustrating to him.

I'm calling it. We need another 'Hug A Genius Day.'

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Discrimination Against Breathing Organism Demonstrates Possibility Of Hate Crime

[with gills clamped shut and tentacles fluttering, Hairy tightens bolts with wrench equivalent] There. Shelob? Why was this apparatus loose? And what is this nonsense about laws needing to be passed to protect something that's already protected? I don't understand.

The pundit on the newsfeed clearly stated the examples of a Jewish wedding singer being required to sing a Christian hymn and a hospital run by nuns having to perform abortions.

Well--I guess they COULD be legally required to point out that other business people are willing to do those things and shell out an appropriate portion of money already paid to them to acquire those services. Like that lovely woman Candy who explained to me that she won't mate in salt water wearing a blindfold. She did say she might find someone else to do that.

The services she spoke of were illegal, therefore unregulated.

Why? She could've swum in international waters. And with the blindfold she wouldn't have needed her memory blanked. [waggles smallest blue tentacle suggestively] How else am I supposed to learn more about the mating rituals here? I'm thinking that the porn is unrealistic . . .

Wait a minute. Why on earth would anyone be stupid enough to demand inferior, unwilling service and try to involve the government when there are plenty of willing businesses STARVING for the work? What would be the point of such ridiculous behavior?

Uncertain.

Speculate?

[sixteen seconds pass] Evidence suggests the existence of abusive people who intend to enact inappropriate control over others. A prurient emotional response from bullying others does provide motivation for such behavior.

That's like the religious form of a rape. It's a hate crime. Again--doesn't the law already cover that? Why would the American legal system allow someone to be rewarded by directly causing problems for others?

Uncertain. Do you have the new batteries finished?

Oh, yeah. Sorry, I fell asleep between the second and third battery. The second one's installed. I'm gonna finish my nap and then get back to it, okay? [practiced eye movement related to autohypnosis causes nearly instant sleep]

[Shelob loosens oxygenation apparatus with wrench equivalent, checks time, notes new likely time Hairy will waken to install Shelob's new port batteries] This subject bloggable. [record, upload, disconnect]

Lethal Injection Drugs Have Another Likely Candidate For Manufacture

[paroxysm, three of five eyes bug out] Wow. Shelob!

Here.

I found that movement you mentioned against capital punishment.

Noted.

So now that doctors and nurses who help with executions have for decades kept on getting roped into helping though they say they'd rather not, pharmaceutical companies are now getting in on the protest. 'Not being in the business of killing' is a fairly sound argument.

Yes.

Well, that's a lot more practical as a way to stop it, huh?

Yes.

What are the protesters going to do when the other businesses pick up the slack?

Apparently, the idea is that eventually no one will produce the drugs for lethal injection.

[Hairy shifts through newsfeeds for a moment] So, the companies who make pesticides and herbicides will make them then? I mean, they ARE in the business of killing, right?

. . . right?

Malcontents In The Middle East, Domestic Terrorists Not Imported

[discordant beeping] SHELOB!

Here.

What's this about the first military traitor?

First alleged ISIL recruit from active American military.

Oh. I was gonna ask how they had firing squads already when this was the first one. Thank you--I had a lot of trouble understanding the accent of that newscaster. What's-his-name, Tom Cumberbatch was the first, right?

Benedict Arnold was the first American traitor by at least one American history text.

Is that what they named Eggs Benedict after?

Uncertain. Perhaps it was a famous poacher.

[snickering] So will they execute him and his cousin if they're found guilty?

Uncertain. If they prove educatable, they might attempt restitution to the state by joining the public 'outcry' against ISIL.

How likely is that?

Uncertain. Current political movements exist to abolish the death penalty completely, but this is a military matter, at least in part.

So he could be given two different sentences?

That is the way the law appears to read.

Wow. I just don't even quite want to understand how someone would think that way--turning on your own country for a terrorist group? Yeesh. [becomes instantly absorbed in a child's cartoon] Now that isn't even physically possible! What are they teaching kids?

[notes discontinuity, as Hairy took the opposite stance for certain individuals in Nazi Germany]
It is not rational. [disconnect]
 
 

No Bull's Eyes, Just Bullies And Their Bull

Okay, I give up. [raises eleven tentacles upwards] Is America doing the Radio Free thing again? It needs to start. Some of you are aware that ISIL has 'targeted' members of the American military. They screwed up less information than the average pundit, but their inaccuracies could still be successful ammunition for fighting the messed-up way they've been telling people to think.

[multi-tasking resumes] I will not be pointing those out specifically, because the correct information is none of my business anyway. Targeting families, risking families makes enemies and reeks of desperation and incompetence. ISIL members obviously want to die or they wouldn't deliberately make so many enemies. (Especially in such an incompetent manner.)

America's got a much bigger problem. With the Secret Service going through so many scandals, and our government demanding more transparency, won't the Secret Service have too big a job once ISIL targets every public official that speaks or votes against them? Maybe when somebody gets impeached or horribly underdeservedly scandalized in politics from now on, we could credit them with an anti-ISIL speech and withdraw Secret Service protection and / or private bodyguards for a day? True leaders should always have more to lose and be more concerned about acting legally and for the good than the average citizen, especially veterans and active military.

And ISIL obviously doesn't care about their accuracy--just the death part. [disconnect]