Olden Goldies

Herr D made this on heromachine.com. He neglect-
ed to include junkheaps behind them.                      

So, two of the guys near the pier were arguing over who had the newer phone and the older car. I learned the slang term, 'hoopty,' which apparently means old car of questionable appearance. Why isn't there a slang term for phone that doesn't have all the latest apps and capabilities?

Long-Haired Ideas

--from customghillie.com's photo gallery . . .

So I was looking for some conveniently available costumes that would scream: 'I'm NOT aquatic.' I think maybe a ghillie suit would explain some of the bigfoot sightings I've read about. With my luck, I'd be attacked by a feral lawnmower. The merchants who sell those make them sound pretty vicious.

If your lawn could get up and go to the barber, what kind of style would you want it to get?

Which Way Do We Go?

Herr D told me that this is NOT a self-
trait, but demonstrates ambivalence.
He made it on heromachine.com and
says it's a concept worth the copyright.

I've been very concerned about my neighbor. That guy that hid the ring in the plastic egg? He's not drinking alcohol anymore with those other guys, which is good--but I overheard them saying that "he's getting whipped."

She seems like a nice person and all, but violence, even behind closed doors, is not the best answer to anything. From the water near her property, I can sometimes hear screaming, but it sounds like she's doing all the screaming. So today's question is: When you're well-placed, but not well-informed, when do you say something? When do you call the police or social services or whatever? Obviously sometimes a situation might not be what it seems, but when IS it time to make it your business?

Aaugh!

Herr D made this some time ago using hero-

machine.com. He said he's doing it over, but 

it looks just like so many of the people seeing

me for the first time that I wanted it 'as is.'          

I just realized that's a fist mirrored in the eyes. Oh, well, I didn't get that expression with a fist . . .

Hairy?

Yes?

Avoid mention of anatomical differences. This site was recently scanned by federal authorities.

MiB's?! Okay, Shelob. I've just been thinking about screaming. --Wait, no. Ambiguity detector is pulsing. 

Oh. I've been thinking about why people scream. It seems a little counter-productive. What, do you think whatever's attacking you is made of glass and you can shatter it with the right high note? It seems like most screams wouldn't work so well. Ambulance sirens make similar noise, but screaming doesn't get traffic out of the way. Should maybe I assume it's for group survival? Hear the screams, know to hide the children? That does make more sense. Individual survival strikes me as needing other tactics like spraying ink or foul-smelling scent at the attacker. Maybe that's why people smell worse when they're nervous? Does that make sense?

It's A Jerry Holiday With Molly

Herr D designed this on heromachine.com. He 

titled it "Slightly Deaf Maude Makes A Good Pre-

diction" and reserves all rights to it. I feel this old.

Okay, I did it again. Rather than risk miscounting tides again, I used my periscope to check out the driveway of my closest neighbor. She's the one the guy, who I'll call Jerry for now, put a piece of jewelry in a plastic simulated bird egg for. She goes to work every weekday, not like Jerry, who works when people want his boat. But then comes a holiday. Memorial Day. Which I had completely wrong.

I thought that was celebrating memory. As in 'we're young and don't have dementia yet.' Honoring people who died for your country is a perfectly understandable reason for a holiday. I can appreciate that.

Question.

Right. How many of you have trouble keeping up with holidays and why? I always did. Even when I knew more about the culture's history behind them.

Three Cliques To The Right

All rights reserved by the creator.

I have been somewhat baffled at the amount of time people spend on their homeowner's associations, Chapters For The Preservation Of Barbershop Quartets, etc. (They really do exist, folks.) Does anyone feel that their time is well-spent running meetings? If so, how do you feel your experience is different from most peoples'? On the other hand, give an example of meetings you began to skip and were glad about or punished for.

One Last Stab At It

Some site named 'Laugh' published this. Dark days.

Yeah. Nothing funnier than being captured by an advanced alien race, prepped for slaughter, getting yourself one of their weapons, and preparing for your imminent death by watching them laugh at you and taking a picture for posterity.

Lucky thing humans are too salty and dry, huh?

When you're outmatched and feeling hopeless, do you rail at yourself or your situation? Personally, I tend to give people an inferiority complex, so I'm more often too busy with irrelevant self-rescue to handle a real problem. Nothing like a scared, desperate mob that you have no ill will toward to get in the way.