Herr D Is A Rice Man, Trump Needs A Safe Word, And Hairy Needs To Throw Up And Sleep

[recording begins with Hairy rewatching bits of political debate and swallowing small amounts of plankton]

[shaking with laughter] That was excellent! He saw it coming, though.

Elaborate.

Fiorina turned Trump's words around on him. He was smiling, so obviously he knew she was about to get him. What's neat is that right before that Jeb sounded more presidential than anyone else.

Elaborate.

He pointed out that accommodations for employees are to happen locally. He's thinking about the role he wants, and he's thinking about what he shouldn't be involved in. He's defined his role.

I thought you did not favor Jeb. 

Well, I don't think he should be judged exactly like his family or with them. I'm not sure he'd be as good as others, but he IS acting more like he's ready to be a president than everyone on that stage but Fiorina and MAYBE Kasich.

You are taking great joy in Trump losing face.

I don't really want anyone in particular, but he annoys me more than most of the candidates. I have particular sympathy for Herr D, of course, but . . .

Who is he hoping for?

Mostly he's just expressing regret that Condi Rice isn't running. She did seem smart and cool and prepared for anything in all those old clips you recovered.

You did declare that the major fault in human governments is that humans never put the best leaders in charge, but usually the most popular of the worst possible choices. 

Yeah, well, I did.

So the presidential hopefuls are each career equivalents of a dominatrix? The point of it for them is the prurient joy of controlling or even misguiding an entire nation?

[spits out a measure of plankton] Errrrgh.

[summoning medbot] Status report?

I'm all right, Shelob; I just imagined Trump in a leather corset. He's ugly enough as a . . . a PERSONA that I really didn't need that image.

Was synopsis inaccurate?

Yuck . . . [cleanses palate with a blast of seawater] Unfortunately, you're a little too right.

Will reconfigure synopsis away from religious right--

What?! No, that's not--

Presidential hopefuls are each career equivalents of a dominatrix-for-hire?

[one eye bugs out a little] Ironically, you may have gotten more accurate. Shelob? Go ahead and blog on this. [greets medbot and accepts sleep med with uncharacteristic enthusiasm]

[recording ends]