Fake Phone Call, Fake Person, Real Stroke, Real Worry

 

"Elf Opening Petrol Station" photo by Herr D for "Vengeance For Sale" HP fanfic. Fakery for a photo is much like fakery for a political office. Staged correctly, things are different than they appear by design.--Derivation by Shelob

[opens chatbox on Herr D's phone] Herr D?

[sharp movement of phone] ['Gaah!' : approximate transliteration, calls up keyboard, begins texting:] not goood at text 

That is not important. Blog is overdue. Can you please look at phone for four minutes?

[background noise, Herr D saying approximately 'I forgot something, don't worry.' then inserts headphone jack and texts:] y go

[plays clips of recent debate where one candidate was recovering from a stroke] Perhaps you can blog on this? Maybe you can speak into the phone as if talking to a human?

[short pause before speaking] Yeah, Marty, hello? No, the disturbing thing wasn't the flip-flop of the other candidate or the ignorance about strokes he's depending on nor even the stroke symptoms of the one candidate. The REALLY disturbing thing was that despite him slurring words, mixing up words, mashing words together, pausing strangely, making odd sentences, and moving his face a little oddly, HE SOUNDED JUST AS SOBER, ORGANIZED, CAPABLE, AND WISE AS ALL CONGRESS HAS FOR THE LAST TWENTY YEARS. --AND MORE TRUTHFUL! [odd twisting of phone during background noise] Thanks, guys. [back into phone] I gotta go, Marty. [pretends to hang up]

Thank you. [exits]