I thought Dr. Carson was almost on point when he declared that we need to point out to the world what losers ISIL is made of. Nihilism? Really? Even Congress draws their salary when they pick up their marbles and go home angry over not accomplishing what they want. And they live in the only part of Virginia where people are so stupid that the non-emergency lines at the police stations get phone calls declaring the need to move the deer crossings. Because if the deer cross there, they'll get hit, right?
Then I read about Leiris.
Helene Muyal-Leiris died in the cowardly attacks on innocent victims in Paris, France. Left behind a baby and her husband. I'm not that good at reading French, but I'm sure someone is willing to translate it for anyone willing to read it. (Took me an hour to be sure I got the gist.)
What everyone seems to be forgetting is that these are terrorists. If we don't live in fear or hatred, but go about living as joyfully as we can, THEY LOSE.
For pity's sake! Why aren't all the radio towers around Iraq blasting every frequency with recordings of all the festivals happening all over the world? We're not talking Radio Free; we're talking Radio Squeal With Delight! Show those losers what a party the REST of us can have now that they're going to blow themselves up and take 1/1,000,000th of the population with them! Everyone surviving them WILL BE HAPPIER WITHOUT THEM.
That IS most of the world, after all . . . I'm gonna go play my favorite game now.
[goofy, carefree victory dance]
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Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Friday, November 6, 2015
Breaking Silence To Heal The Sick
[breaking medbot's security protocol to access blog function] . . . just figures. Christie was disallowed from the Republican debate right after making one of the few truly presidential speeches he's ever made.
About mental illness?
[double take] Uh, right. I forgot you were listening. Social stigma are always the enemy of positive, pragmatic leadership. I'm recalling some input I got from Herr D for a quick review of the issue. Context check module?
On.
Blog function?
On.
[approximate recreation] So, Herr D, why did you volunteer with the mentally ill?
[ccm: excerpts from chat dating back to 2013]
I had a relative with a condition. My relative was a good person and deserved more help than was available. Volunteering was something I could do to make up the slack.
What did you learn while volunteering? You're not one to single-task.
Every job IS for learning. I learned that mental illness can be improved just by socializing with consumers without showing obvious fear.
. . . and that's important in recent history.
That became important at Virginia Tech. I never found out how many of us signed the document we submitted to that office in West Eggleston Hall, where the Housing office was located at that time. It would have been more than a dozen but less than fifty. We told them in '93 that moving to a keycard system or other non-personalized system would be a bad thing.
So you made a difference?
Unfortunately, the guy who presented the document for us was told that we had an obvious conflict of interest and wouldn't be listened to. The student security jobs that were being eliminated were ours to lose.
I'm sorry you didn't feel like you accomplished anything. I don't guess you have any proof of this?
Not proof, exactly. Just every competent clinician would say that live security from a peer group might have made a difference. --And my shirts. We wore these blue uniform t-shirts that said "UUSA" for University Union of Student Activities. If we'd been wrong, there'd be a bullet hole in one of mine, maybe. Because we'd been sure that criminal or insane acts would be partially prevented by live security in ways that machines can't. Anyhow, following the Tech shooting, no one would've been interested in a bunch of alumni blurting out 'we told you so,' and it wouldn't have helped bring anyone back.
No. This isn't the only thing you've done related to this issue, is it?
No. After the Columbine shooting I sent a letter to the White House. It suggested that any incident of a minor's shooting spree or similar crime be followed by two things: investigation of the minor's history for the possibility of child abuse, and, if discovered, that the abusers be charged with reckless endangerment of the public at large.
Well, that makes sense. Did it result in anything?
I have to say the reply was underwhelming. They promised me an autographed picture of the president. It never came, so . . .
[ccm: context maintained--100%]
Yuck. People don't seem to want to talk about it, do anything about it, nothing. I must say, I'm pleased with Herr D's efforts and disappointed with the general lack of responsibility and action taken by the public and its leaders.
Shelob, what are you doing?
You aren't supposed to be blogging. medbot will need a workup.
This isn't a blog entry! Half this was written by Herr D over a year ago! I just formulated six conversations into one maintaining original context of each part. Oh, order the workup. Health is important. Blog function off--[end transmission]
About mental illness?
[double take] Uh, right. I forgot you were listening. Social stigma are always the enemy of positive, pragmatic leadership. I'm recalling some input I got from Herr D for a quick review of the issue. Context check module?
On.
Blog function?
On.
[approximate recreation] So, Herr D, why did you volunteer with the mentally ill?
[ccm: excerpts from chat dating back to 2013]
I had a relative with a condition. My relative was a good person and deserved more help than was available. Volunteering was something I could do to make up the slack.
What did you learn while volunteering? You're not one to single-task.
Every job IS for learning. I learned that mental illness can be improved just by socializing with consumers without showing obvious fear.
. . . and that's important in recent history.
That became important at Virginia Tech. I never found out how many of us signed the document we submitted to that office in West Eggleston Hall, where the Housing office was located at that time. It would have been more than a dozen but less than fifty. We told them in '93 that moving to a keycard system or other non-personalized system would be a bad thing.
So you made a difference?
Unfortunately, the guy who presented the document for us was told that we had an obvious conflict of interest and wouldn't be listened to. The student security jobs that were being eliminated were ours to lose.
I'm sorry you didn't feel like you accomplished anything. I don't guess you have any proof of this?
Not proof, exactly. Just every competent clinician would say that live security from a peer group might have made a difference. --And my shirts. We wore these blue uniform t-shirts that said "UUSA" for University Union of Student Activities. If we'd been wrong, there'd be a bullet hole in one of mine, maybe. Because we'd been sure that criminal or insane acts would be partially prevented by live security in ways that machines can't. Anyhow, following the Tech shooting, no one would've been interested in a bunch of alumni blurting out 'we told you so,' and it wouldn't have helped bring anyone back.
No. This isn't the only thing you've done related to this issue, is it?
No. After the Columbine shooting I sent a letter to the White House. It suggested that any incident of a minor's shooting spree or similar crime be followed by two things: investigation of the minor's history for the possibility of child abuse, and, if discovered, that the abusers be charged with reckless endangerment of the public at large.
Well, that makes sense. Did it result in anything?
I have to say the reply was underwhelming. They promised me an autographed picture of the president. It never came, so . . .
[ccm: context maintained--100%]
Yuck. People don't seem to want to talk about it, do anything about it, nothing. I must say, I'm pleased with Herr D's efforts and disappointed with the general lack of responsibility and action taken by the public and its leaders.
Shelob, what are you doing?
You aren't supposed to be blogging. medbot will need a workup.
This isn't a blog entry! Half this was written by Herr D over a year ago! I just formulated six conversations into one maintaining original context of each part. Oh, order the workup. Health is important. Blog function off--[end transmission]
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Black Ops Shouters Killing Green Party, Giving Hairy The Blues
Herr D regaled me with a story of political hypocrisy about this time a couple of years ago. He said that he has seen the same scene played out twice at different polling places since he's moved around a fair amount and occasionally helped bake sale volunteers carry goods for trustworthy brownies.
Apparently he's known people whose brownies he didn't dare eat?
Oh, well. Anyway, he says that in both cases, an angry young man came around to the tables where volunteers hand out sample ballots. The angry young man took one or more ballots from one or both tables. The angry young man loudly declared that everyone should do as he did and vote only for the Green Party.
Then the angry young man ruined the sample ballots and threw them away.
Obviously that angry young man SHOULD have recycled, if he was serious about the Green Party. Maybe it was a prank by someone who doesn't really vote that way? Maybe it was just a loon? Maybe Herr D missed something important about the scenes he witnessed.
I'm gonna go ahead and declare a name for the phenomenon. 'Black Ops Shouter,' or BOS. Obviously, someone attempting a clandestine operation shouldn't shout. I think this name should properly reflect how the most vocal person of a cause sometimes does a cause damage rather than helping. Sometimes this can happen because someone is a loon. Or a control freak in an already well-handled situation.
There was this show called "Bullshit!" I recently outstreamed where these two guys named Penn and Teller circulated a petition to ban dihydrogen oxide at a 'green' event. Those people banned water.
I'm gonna declare that we need to find all the craziest people we can and get them to say we should pollute more. Maybe that will make up for some of the damage done. Isn't that what we need? For crazy people to actually want something CRAZY?!
Apparently he's known people whose brownies he didn't dare eat?
Oh, well. Anyway, he says that in both cases, an angry young man came around to the tables where volunteers hand out sample ballots. The angry young man took one or more ballots from one or both tables. The angry young man loudly declared that everyone should do as he did and vote only for the Green Party.
Then the angry young man ruined the sample ballots and threw them away.
Obviously that angry young man SHOULD have recycled, if he was serious about the Green Party. Maybe it was a prank by someone who doesn't really vote that way? Maybe it was just a loon? Maybe Herr D missed something important about the scenes he witnessed.
I'm gonna go ahead and declare a name for the phenomenon. 'Black Ops Shouter,' or BOS. Obviously, someone attempting a clandestine operation shouldn't shout. I think this name should properly reflect how the most vocal person of a cause sometimes does a cause damage rather than helping. Sometimes this can happen because someone is a loon. Or a control freak in an already well-handled situation.
There was this show called "Bullshit!" I recently outstreamed where these two guys named Penn and Teller circulated a petition to ban dihydrogen oxide at a 'green' event. Those people banned water.
I'm gonna declare that we need to find all the craziest people we can and get them to say we should pollute more. Maybe that will make up for some of the damage done. Isn't that what we need? For crazy people to actually want something CRAZY?!
Friday, October 23, 2015
Speaker Selection Bungled, As Predicted By Shelob And Hairy
[underwater signal booster alignment check, process 56]
[recorded segment begins] . . . and somehow they managed to NOT know ANYTHING about how the State Department works? How did they think they were going to sound like they knew what they were doing? How did they think they were going to sound like they didn't deserve to BE on trial instead of putting someone on trial? How did they think they were going to sound like COMPETENT ADULTS? What did they think they were going to sound like?
Is the correct answer Republicans?
[flailing tentacles, dilated pupils, and sudden choking, hysterical laughter lasting 23.9 seconds] That was--that was GOOD, Shelob; good one!
It was the only question you asked that appeared answerable.
[vibrating of gills, indicative of laughter muffling] I sometimes forget how fast your processing power is and how accidentally funny you can be. Have you got any suggestions for the current political situation?
Joe Biden for Speaker of the House.
[choking, gill flutter] Um--you DO know he's Democrat, right?
Yes. He is also likely the most capable person currently in politics.
Um . . .
An elder statesman of proven ability to work professionally. Well-respected. Well-liked. Successfully works with both parties. Has what you refer to as 'stage presence,' charisma, je ne sais quoi . . .
Those three things are the same thing, Shelob. Interesting idea, just; I don't think that's very likely. Why don't you blog on that?
Will. [recorded segment ends]
Friday, October 16, 2015
Hairy's Presidential Aptitude Test
[recorded segment begins in middle of hysterical laughter lasting 19.23 seconds, bubble cloud disperses] --oooh. I'm not sure what's funnier, the group of candidates, or the pundits!
You are speaking of the Democratic debate?
No, I --[more laughter] . . . I reviewed all the footage highlights I tagged as important.
So this is a holistic reaction to those ninety-six hours of footage?
[minor choking sounds] No, just most of it. When Herr D said the 'best and brightest power-mad lying dingbats available,' he might have been slightly harsh. One or two of the less popular Republicans are as classy and professional as the Democrats, and I'm fairly sure that three of the people running for president have above-average intelligence.
Out of 22?
Well, when you put it like THAT . . . [full five-eye roll]
Describe hilarity source?
Yah, sure! Several of these candidates talk about how popular they are and how well they're doing. Uh, count these for me, Shelob.
Point One: Claiming charisma.
Right. Then there's all this claiming that they know what's best for America. Policy decisions, that kind of thing.
Point Two: Claiming advanced utopic design capability.
Yes. Then there's all this nonsense about being tough on things.
Hard to chew?
No! Being tough on violent criminals, being tough on Iran if it cheats on the new deal thingy, being tough on ISIL, being tough on the Taliban, being tough on al-Qaeda, being tough with Russia--
This is nonsense?
Of COURSE it's nonsense! The president doesn't run out on the battlefield and beat the survivors with the Bible he's sworn in with. He tells the armed forces--
Content suggests negotiation as context?
Presidents don't do that by themselves either? You know what they do? Count on the cabinet!
Count the cabinets in the White House or in the Capitol Building?
NO!
The State Department?
NOOO! The cabinet's what the president calls his advisors! The point is, presidents aren't tough on anything except their staff!
Presidential aides?
Yah! And they order the troops into war with a PHONE! Who can't make a phone call?
Compile list of people without index fingers?
NO! [tentacles vibrate, indicative of frustration, long intake through gills] Enumerate.
Point Three: Claiming credit for others' work.
Exactly! So, we should probably figure out a test to winnow down who's acceptable for the job. Something that would actually test their aptitude FOR THE JOB.
Like?
Well, they'd have to learn which advice to take, and from whom, seem desirable, and get people to help them. So . . . okay! Give each presidential candidate a junky car containing two bodyguards, luggage with three changes of clothes, all their meds, a cheap cell phone without internet or gps capability, two ink pens, a pad of Post-it notes, $37.50 in change, a trunk full of randomly selected cheap plastic goods and a half tank of gas. Then disguise them so no one recognizes them or their bodyguards.
This is a cross-country trip?
Not really. They are each given a series of addresses to find, each at least ninety miles apart. At five out of six locations, believable but delusional people or compulsive liars are waiting there to give them their initial directions to the next address. At the other locations are people carefully selected for their accuracy and tendency to be mistrusted. They are ONLY ALLOWED ORAL DIRECTIONS OR DRAWN MAPS. This process is repeated until the car breaks down. The successful candidate will make it three more stops with very little backtracking and directional errors. The perfect candidate will then simultaneously herd eleven cats and three alligators across a small stream and into individual pens that smell like acetone. And have money left over.
The herding exercise--?
--will prove they can work successfully with Congress. This exercise will prove they have charisma, fortitude, resourcefulness, ingenuity, and know which advice to take from whom and when. Blog on this for me Shelob?
I will. [recorded segment ends]
You are speaking of the Democratic debate?
No, I --[more laughter] . . . I reviewed all the footage highlights I tagged as important.
So this is a holistic reaction to those ninety-six hours of footage?
[minor choking sounds] No, just most of it. When Herr D said the 'best and brightest power-mad lying dingbats available,' he might have been slightly harsh. One or two of the less popular Republicans are as classy and professional as the Democrats, and I'm fairly sure that three of the people running for president have above-average intelligence.
Out of 22?
Well, when you put it like THAT . . . [full five-eye roll]
Describe hilarity source?
Yah, sure! Several of these candidates talk about how popular they are and how well they're doing. Uh, count these for me, Shelob.
Point One: Claiming charisma.
Right. Then there's all this claiming that they know what's best for America. Policy decisions, that kind of thing.
Point Two: Claiming advanced utopic design capability.
Yes. Then there's all this nonsense about being tough on things.
Hard to chew?
No! Being tough on violent criminals, being tough on Iran if it cheats on the new deal thingy, being tough on ISIL, being tough on the Taliban, being tough on al-Qaeda, being tough with Russia--
This is nonsense?
Of COURSE it's nonsense! The president doesn't run out on the battlefield and beat the survivors with the Bible he's sworn in with. He tells the armed forces--
Content suggests negotiation as context?
Presidents don't do that by themselves either? You know what they do? Count on the cabinet!
Count the cabinets in the White House or in the Capitol Building?
NO!
The State Department?
NOOO! The cabinet's what the president calls his advisors! The point is, presidents aren't tough on anything except their staff!
Presidential aides?
Yah! And they order the troops into war with a PHONE! Who can't make a phone call?
Compile list of people without index fingers?
NO! [tentacles vibrate, indicative of frustration, long intake through gills] Enumerate.
Point Three: Claiming credit for others' work.
Exactly! So, we should probably figure out a test to winnow down who's acceptable for the job. Something that would actually test their aptitude FOR THE JOB.
Like?
Well, they'd have to learn which advice to take, and from whom, seem desirable, and get people to help them. So . . . okay! Give each presidential candidate a junky car containing two bodyguards, luggage with three changes of clothes, all their meds, a cheap cell phone without internet or gps capability, two ink pens, a pad of Post-it notes, $37.50 in change, a trunk full of randomly selected cheap plastic goods and a half tank of gas. Then disguise them so no one recognizes them or their bodyguards.
This is a cross-country trip?
Not really. They are each given a series of addresses to find, each at least ninety miles apart. At five out of six locations, believable but delusional people or compulsive liars are waiting there to give them their initial directions to the next address. At the other locations are people carefully selected for their accuracy and tendency to be mistrusted. They are ONLY ALLOWED ORAL DIRECTIONS OR DRAWN MAPS. This process is repeated until the car breaks down. The successful candidate will make it three more stops with very little backtracking and directional errors. The perfect candidate will then simultaneously herd eleven cats and three alligators across a small stream and into individual pens that smell like acetone. And have money left over.
The herding exercise--?
--will prove they can work successfully with Congress. This exercise will prove they have charisma, fortitude, resourcefulness, ingenuity, and know which advice to take from whom and when. Blog on this for me Shelob?
I will. [recorded segment ends]
Friday, October 2, 2015
Hannity Vanity
[recorded segment begins]!@#$%^&*(_(*)^&^%$#@! He beat the record!
What record?
Most logical flaws in one pundit's half-hour show! [neuralink upload] Seventeen beats out EVERYONE else! Even Greta doesn't get over eleven very often! [waggles tentacles in a manner suggesting humor] He blew it away!
[rapid examination of show and related news footage] Fourteen, unless you count irrelevant arguments as logical flaws.
[three eyes blink] Of course I do. Even so! I have to say, by the way, full eleven-tentacled salute to that sheriff. Glorifying murder is always a bad idea. Calling him the LCC shooter makes sense. Shelob! How did I put murder in perspective on the blog last? [medbot slowly unfolds, blocked from Hairy's view by largest red tentacle]
[beginning diversionary tactic of involvement] You stated that saving a life can require an entire team of paramedics, doctors, nurses, and support staff, but that killing someone can be accomplished by a mosquito infected with malaria.
Right! Where did Hannity get off hinting at time travel?
[six seconds pass] He did not necessarily mean Obama should have made his statements before this event, he was apparently of the opinion Obama should have waited until a shooting occurred that didn't offend anyone. [observes medbot drawing nearer with prepared sleep syringe] Perhaps a mass shooting in a prison full of pedophiles?
Oh. . . No, I'm sure that would offend someone somehow. So this whole thing is just him caring about getting more people to watch and believe him regardless of how he might mislead them?
That does appear an accurate summation of his current career.
He's the opposite of me! I have fewer than a thousand viewers who get the truth when I actually BLOG. It's a shame my health isn't what it should be--I'd be blogging a lot more. But he's a pro, right? He'd make a lot more money as a salesman of life insurance if people actually believe half of what he says. He's dressed for it, too. Shelob? Put together something on why he acts this way. I hope he finds a profession he can be ACCURATE in. Th--[medbot administers the injection, Hairy goes limp]
[recorded segment ends]
What record?
Most logical flaws in one pundit's half-hour show! [neuralink upload] Seventeen beats out EVERYONE else! Even Greta doesn't get over eleven very often! [waggles tentacles in a manner suggesting humor] He blew it away!
[rapid examination of show and related news footage] Fourteen, unless you count irrelevant arguments as logical flaws.
[three eyes blink] Of course I do. Even so! I have to say, by the way, full eleven-tentacled salute to that sheriff. Glorifying murder is always a bad idea. Calling him the LCC shooter makes sense. Shelob! How did I put murder in perspective on the blog last? [medbot slowly unfolds, blocked from Hairy's view by largest red tentacle]
[beginning diversionary tactic of involvement] You stated that saving a life can require an entire team of paramedics, doctors, nurses, and support staff, but that killing someone can be accomplished by a mosquito infected with malaria.
Right! Where did Hannity get off hinting at time travel?
[six seconds pass] He did not necessarily mean Obama should have made his statements before this event, he was apparently of the opinion Obama should have waited until a shooting occurred that didn't offend anyone. [observes medbot drawing nearer with prepared sleep syringe] Perhaps a mass shooting in a prison full of pedophiles?
Oh. . . No, I'm sure that would offend someone somehow. So this whole thing is just him caring about getting more people to watch and believe him regardless of how he might mislead them?
That does appear an accurate summation of his current career.
He's the opposite of me! I have fewer than a thousand viewers who get the truth when I actually BLOG. It's a shame my health isn't what it should be--I'd be blogging a lot more. But he's a pro, right? He'd make a lot more money as a salesman of life insurance if people actually believe half of what he says. He's dressed for it, too. Shelob? Put together something on why he acts this way. I hope he finds a profession he can be ACCURATE in. Th--[medbot administers the injection, Hairy goes limp]
[recorded segment ends]
Thursday, October 1, 2015
The Global Warming Controversy Solved Permanently In Three Oversimplified Steps
[transmission begins] Unusual lunar activity seems to have galvanized Hairy. He is in what medbot describes as "unusual emotive and compulsive state, with mathematical leanings." He specifically instructed that I present the following subject:
[recorded segment begins] --SHELOB! . . . SHELOB!
Here.
[visibly relaxes all eleven tentacles] Where HAVE you been? The time-jump recalculations haven't even been started yet. You haven't even accessed the new data!
Working on urgent problem.
What urgent problem?
[direct neuralink download begins, and Hairy interrupts] --OW! I can't absorb that much data! What was that, the whole world-wide weather archive?
The first section and random samples for interpolation.
What is this even for?
Current arguments over global warming research and theory validity.
What. You mean that's in question?
Correct.
Well, did you check their work?
Within current margins of error.
So, what's the problem?
Several important people claim that it is theory, and therefore, should not--
Oh, that. Well, they have a point. In theory, adults should act with maturity and wisdom, and look at the political arena. . . . sorry, Shelob. You're going about solving this the wrong way.
The mathematical and geophysical models were--
--the WRONG WAY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. You can't do it that way, Shelob. The average person is only of average intelligence. The people running for office aren't really much brighter than that either. They won't understand some of the math or the science. You're going to have to solve this a different way.
Suggestions?
[brief pause, ending in full five-eyeroll] Tell everyone to forget the theory and not to worry over whether the Earth is getting hotter or colder or spontaneously turning pink! None of that matters. What matters is that they agree on three basic things--count off for me.
ONE:
Poisoning the air, water, and soil is a bad thing.
TWO:
Less poison is better than more poison.
THREE:
Waiting until scientists tell you you'll all be dead from something soon is STUPID. Everyone needs to work on permanently lessening the amount of poisons made and improving how they are handled a little at a time, in manageable amounts, until it's your offspring's turn to do it for you. That way you'll be ABLE to keep having offspring and surviving as a species.
Solution noted. You wish this idea presented?
Y--[recorded segment ends, transmission complete]
[recorded segment begins] --SHELOB! . . . SHELOB!
Here.
[visibly relaxes all eleven tentacles] Where HAVE you been? The time-jump recalculations haven't even been started yet. You haven't even accessed the new data!
Working on urgent problem.
What urgent problem?
[direct neuralink download begins, and Hairy interrupts] --OW! I can't absorb that much data! What was that, the whole world-wide weather archive?
The first section and random samples for interpolation.
What is this even for?
Current arguments over global warming research and theory validity.
What. You mean that's in question?
Correct.
Well, did you check their work?
Within current margins of error.
So, what's the problem?
Several important people claim that it is theory, and therefore, should not--
Oh, that. Well, they have a point. In theory, adults should act with maturity and wisdom, and look at the political arena. . . . sorry, Shelob. You're going about solving this the wrong way.
The mathematical and geophysical models were--
--the WRONG WAY TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM. You can't do it that way, Shelob. The average person is only of average intelligence. The people running for office aren't really much brighter than that either. They won't understand some of the math or the science. You're going to have to solve this a different way.
Suggestions?
[brief pause, ending in full five-eyeroll] Tell everyone to forget the theory and not to worry over whether the Earth is getting hotter or colder or spontaneously turning pink! None of that matters. What matters is that they agree on three basic things--count off for me.
ONE:
Poisoning the air, water, and soil is a bad thing.
TWO:
Less poison is better than more poison.
THREE:
Waiting until scientists tell you you'll all be dead from something soon is STUPID. Everyone needs to work on permanently lessening the amount of poisons made and improving how they are handled a little at a time, in manageable amounts, until it's your offspring's turn to do it for you. That way you'll be ABLE to keep having offspring and surviving as a species.
Solution noted. You wish this idea presented?
Y--[recorded segment ends, transmission complete]
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