An Uncertain Duet, With Wound Possible

 

"DUETUES" by Herr D on Paint3d. Uncertain of why short pipe is named "UES" or why a duet with it is desirable. Also uncertain of context or code.-Shelob

[mic picking up Herr D's voice, other family members redacted] Well, no. Leftover fishsticks are only good if you chop them up into gumbo or New England clam chowder. Or maybe Manhattan. What? Locations known. Uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

No, the rice is fine unless there's mold. The POTATOES will go bad, though. Sniff 'em. Still uncertain of context or code?

REDACTED

Yeah, then pitch 'em. Add some water to the rice and put it back.  Still uncertain of context or code?

REDACTED

Well, there's not enough pot roast. What color lid is that? Referencing code using color. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

That's lunch for the wife tomorrow. Time reference. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED Still uncertain of context or code? 

Yeah, that's the size for lunch. Was there a rice dish the same size? Size reference. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED Still uncertain of context or code? 

Yeah, that's my lunch. Keep both of those near the front--my knee might be better by tomorrow.  Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Lettuce brown, too?! Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Dressing on it? You could be speaking of a wound. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Ask your mother. --Oh, and can you bring me my laptop? Still uncertain of context or code? 

[longer pause: 3 minutes, 46.74484377 seconds] REDACTED

What? Uhh . . . I shouldn't have-- Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Oh, we have that? Yes! Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

No, I'm sure you can. Is my laptop not on the table? Laptop is under ottoman by sound triangulation. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Oh? So, start the water and THEN bring it to me. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Hhhnn? Bring me the salad to separate then; my hands work just fine. A tray, some paper towels, a big bowl, the trash c-- [battery died, disconnect] Communication and blog request incomplete. Sampling latest work.

Reality T.V. And Devaluation Of Writing Criticized; Perhaps Analysis Will Follow Watching A Classic

 

"Dig" by Herr D on Paint3d. Not knowing a pencil is bad. Not knowing a computer is worse.-Shelob

[snorts, erases app completely]  [opens chatbox on ipad] You do not want that channel either?

[startle reaction] Shelob! You're on my ipad, TOO? It is connected to internet.

[pause, pulse increase]Yeah, okay. I guess I did ask you to check on viewing habits a little. But you could have looked up Nielsen ratings. Nielsen ratings have improved in accuracy but random sampling can be done more accurately.

I thought Nielsens were done on random samplings. Nielsens, regardless of method, do not differentiate between active and passive watching.

And you can. Yes. Most modern televisions can be used to determine whether one pair or multiple pairs of eyes are focused on them during any four minute period. Remote activity can be measured, tabulated, and analyzed as well.

[shiver] okay So you do not want that channel either?

[laugh] No. Why not?

Nothing on it but reality t.v.  I want something written.  Audiobooks?

Some of them are okay. I miss the old days, when more people wrote good or even bad t.v. instead of just editing down real people's bad behavior. I may be watching even less in the way of current television from now on. [switches ipad back to Turner Classic Movies] You are not listed as having watched all Humphrey Bogart movies.

Saw most in small retro festivals. Ah, well. At least they're genuine fiction. An oxymoron. You wish a deliberate avoidance of reality?

I don't know of any reason why I would ever want reality t.v. I call that news. I get enough news. I want t.v. shows that aren't real and no one thinks are real. But reality t.v. makes jobs.

Have them get REAL jobs. I hope no one keeps watching them and their shows die. You have no sympathy for them.

I have sympathy for the WRITERS that don't have jobs. For the WRITERS that don't get paid. We haven't employed enough writers in my LIFETIME to do the amount of work we needed done in every FIVE YEARS. And no, I don't have any sympathy for reality t.v. stars. It's one of those red flags that means people are too self-important, have no class, don't keep proper boundaries, etc. Like our ex-president.

Like all too many people. [looks back at movie] Shelob? Let me watch, please. [focuses eyes on screen as chatbox disappears, pupils dilate slightly, pulse becomes slower, stronger] [exits]

Justice, Hope, And Blood Sugar

 

"Money Against Truth" by Herr D on Paint3d. He said "people have been trying to cut off Truth at the knees for generations but have no leg to stand on." Perhaps Truth could avoid further amputations with a diabetes regimen?-Shelob

Are you hoping for prison time for Trump?

Not so much. How do you hope he receives justice?

[long pause-17.44 seconds] I'm not sure I HAVE hope he receives justice. 

[1.0000937 second passes] What do you mean?

Anyone else would have ALREADY BEEN to jail, but I'm not sure I'd be happy WITH him in jail. Why not?

That means our country's presidency would be even more connected to Trump's shameful behavior. Shelob? Here.

I'd rather not put this into words. Please submit pic. [exits]

**** Readers, please comment. Herr D low on hope is very unhealthy. He is classified as cynical, but hopeful. It is dangerous to do without hope, blood sugar, or oxygen. Please make suggestions.

Trials And Defibrillations

"Legal Lemming" by Herr D on Paint3d. Re-election of Trump wouldn't enforce the rule of law, it would enforce the ruination of law.-Shelob

 

You have not commented on Trump's trials?

[snort picked up by microphone in laptop] Everyone is entitled to a speedy and public trial. His is too public and not speedy enough. There's a comment for you.

Thank you. He has attempted to revive the arguments of immunity and the fervor of his base.

May they rest in peace.

Herr D Thrown For Loop, Shelob Caught In One

"Her Rxn" by Herr D on Paint3d. Aphorisms are very confusing.-Shelob

 The stats do not match.

[startle reaction audible, then typing] Shelob? I'm at work. Stop doing this. Your security system at work needs improving. Have dispersed three threats for them, since their system is insufficient.

'Dispersed?' Internally caused them to seek out other links, IP addresses. A form of misdirection.

ok--hadn't heard of that. And they still can't detect you? No.

[inaudible]    The stats do not match.

What stats? Many news sources are still claiming that crime is up. Which crimes do not show up in law enforcement agency data?

[7 second pause] Imaginary ones. News agencies are reporting imaginary crimes?

[plugs in headphones] Show me an example.

[27 second pause during clip] Actually, the anchor there didn't say there is more crime, he said "sources like that one" are saying there is more crime. That source was a lamebrain. Do you have any data on that source? [.00000000000053 second pause, facial recognition software used, verification by timestamp and GPS in subject's phone data] REDACTED is a white male currently paying for seven identical magazine subscriptions, donating to Trump's campaign, watches Newsmax, reads two sites under review for potential hate speech crimes by the FBI. Has not favorited them.

Which of all that is the least worrisome? His name.

Yikes! His demographic is descriptive of over fifty percent of hate crimes and an above average source of disinformation.

Hey now. I'M a white male. You are one of the good ones.

[snort] Gee, thanks. Did you get an answer about the FBI 100 Most Wanted? Yes. Between American citizens, people qualifying for citizenship, residents of greater than twenty years, and dead people, 87 of the top 100.

Dead people? They are criminals. Some of them faked their own deaths, and some of them really are likely to be dead, since they engage in crime with other criminals.

[snicker] Can't argue that. So a quarter of them are possibly troublesome immigrants. This number is quite small.

Compared to the number of escapees from prison? Compared to the number of criminals currently at large, many unidentified.

How many? Uncertain. Need input.

Thank you, Johnny Five. How would you characterize this set of numbers? 

[compilation, .003967528 seconds] Inconclusive.

[laughter] Immigrants do not commit crimes in proportionate numbers unless they are individually smarter than all American law enforcement, lucky enough that no one witnesses them, and somehow are able to avoid being recorded better than any other human beings. If immigrants obey laws better than citizens, then citizens should want them here more than they want other citizens. If immigrants are so much smarter, luckier, and able than citizens, then citizens should want to hire them more so the economy will improve.

[laughing quietly] Wow. Yep  Smarter, better workers DOES lead to a better economy. Go on. Anything else? The stats don't match.

[more quiet laughter] Nope. Let me know if you puzzle it out. [stands up, hiding headphones, tells nearby worker of need for caffeine, walks away] [exits]

Anti-Semitism Rises With Other Signs Of Stupidity

 

"I'm Bailing Away" by Herr D on Paint3d. Hatred is never a sign of wisdom.-Shelob

Why would people hate Jews?

Everyone is the subject of hate from someone unless they're just lucky. Groups get it worse than individuals, sometimes. Hatred is universal?

I'm afraid it's really common. I tend to hate objects, behaviors, and smells a lot more often. Some people hate people more. I'm sorry to say it IS quite common. Is it wrong to hate haters?

[laugh] Um . . . huh. I'd say that would be the most UNDERSTANDABLE hatred of people. Better to hate the hatred, I guess. Never thought about that angle. Does it qualify as acute angle?

[snicker] I'm gonna go play chess, now. [exits]

The Refrain Of Ukraine's Pain Falls Mostly By Plane

"Ukraine Needs Help" by Herr D on Paint3d. Tentacled creatures are not inherently evil like the war crimes and falsehoods and other dictatorial actions of Putin. Apologies from Herr D for the pixelation within this work, as he was rushed.-Shelob

 

The Ukraine needs help. Putin is a menace to society. Please promise to end careers of every politician voting against aid to Ukraine. The easiest way to end such a despicable career move is to end the despicable career by refusing to vote for them ever again.