It's Snot Easy To Keep On, Though We Must

"The ORDINARY Tour" by Herr D on Paint3d. Herr D needs more rest. Perhaps every voter should turn off the news briefly, so as to restore their enthusiasm for civic duty.-Shelob

 [chatbox opens in middle of chessboard, preventing bot's turn] You are showing a decline. [captionbot 3.2 activated, quiet ping to alert Herr D of microphone activation]

[startle reaction] Shelob? I was just playing some chess. You're everywhere. The worldwide web is everywhere that you are.

[snort] Yeah, okay; you got me there. [2.6119 second pause] What do you mean by decline? Your instances of blogging are lessening in frequency. Your indicators of enthusiasm are lessening in frequency and intensity. Your sentences are getting shorter. You are taking longer to type them or speak them. Allowances have been made for your sleep deprivation, workload, relative health, and age.

! My health? Your cholesterol and triglycerides have not improved. Your blood pressure is good for your age group, but could improve. Your sleep deprivation is to a dangerous level and has been for two decades.

When did you get my chol and diglyc scores? 1500 EST plus or minus seventeen minutes, 48.9823548538 seconds.

[snort] No exact time? Security required temporary de-resolution of link to chronometer.

[bending forward, camera detects eyes squinting] Does that mean you hacked in somewhere, and someone almost detected you? As instructed, no confirmation or denial is to be provided.

Oh, good grief-- Actions have been taken to improve security.

They're always upgrading. Not them. However, three individuals in two different states have now found their situations changed.

[noticeable breath hitch] What happened to them? Three hackers attempting to access medical information are now permanent members of The Snot Collectors Agency, Ltd. 

[laughter] What?! It is limited, after all. It has fewer than fifty members.

I never heard of them. They are not advertised.

[pause] How does this help exactly? The FBI has access to the membership list.

[pulse increase, stillness of body, sharp intake of breath] OH. You can explain decline?

[startle reaction] Oh. I just wanted to veg out a little. Be a couch potato.  Species transformation is excessively difficult and dangerous. Please do not.

[laughter] That's not what that means. Look it up, Shelob. Urban dictionary? [accessing: .0000000003491 seconds] You are attempting rest since you do not have time for full sleep.

Right. Is blogging not restful compared to chess?

No. Even venting is tiresome these days. Biden has to convince people of the job he's doing or Trump could win again. Hairy did not make a prediction about this election cycle.

No? Here's a prediction. Biden won't be fully appreciated till he's gone, if ever. The one thing he ISN'T is a salesman. That's the only thing Trump's got going for himself. SOMEHOW, he's more popular than he deserves to be. I'm one of the few people who will ALWAYS be better at doing jobs than getting them, so I get it. Insight, or wisdom, is more rare than good manners. Will that do it, Shelob? Yes, thank you. [ titlebot(on), restore chess game, blog fcn(off)] 

Blogging Is Frittata Of News

 

"Frittata By EWNR" posted on Pinterest. Herr D is tired from chopping vegetables and data entry, so did not make a pic this time. titlebot assures that this is topical.-Shelob

[sounds of chopping in background] You can transliterate this over my phone this time? I don't even know how to begin. You have.

[snort] Yes. [sounds of chopping continue] Please continue.

[snort] That clip you showed me of Watters has him even more demented than usual. He's off his meds or something. Now Trump might have to check in with a parole officer in each state along the campaign trail. Congress is the same amount of useless they've been for a decade. [sink turns on, water sounds handled by soundbot] People are still blaming Biden for businesses charging more for gas, other businesses gouging them, other countries doing what other countries do, and people still being stupid. They're even blaming him for Trump going to court. The man wouldn't pardon his own son--why would he pardon Trump? Technically speaking, he could not directly do so anyway.

[sudden stillness] Because Hunter's in federal court and Trump wasn't. Well, he couldn't without more paperwork and trouble. Biden is still being treated in the wing-nut media as being cognitively impaired. [chopping continues] And yet he handled Congress heckling him during the State of the Union Address.

[chopping stops, sound of cooking vessel being placed on stove, spraying sound, click of stove activation] Yeah, when Trump's speeches are full of pompous idiocy. [steam and cooking sounds from stove] What are you doing?

Hmm? I'm--making dinner, Shelob. Gotta eat. Overheard reference to onions.

What? Yeah. I chopped up carrots and onions and leftover chicken and rice and some broccoli and I'm gonna melt some cheese in at the last second. So you are making what you need by reducing what you have into smaller pieces and adding something aged to hold it together and make it better.

Yes? This is like blogging?

[snort, laugh, clatter possibly of an implement hitting floor and bouncing twice] I guess it is. [grunt] Hold on, I gotta wash this spatula. [click from stove, water from sink] Shelob, that's--

Man Without Character Badly Characterizes Good Character Actor

 

"Money Against Truth" by Herr D on Paint3d. truthsocial.com IS based on a misrepresentation. They do not enforce truth among their content, and have not been social about that.-Shelob

Have you seen this clip? [plays clip of DeNiro's speech criticized by Greg Kelly]

No, I hadn't. I know who DeNiro is. Who's the moron? Greg Kelly.

Yeah, I see his name. Where does he spew this nonsense? He is available on truthsocial.com. [immediate typing with correction, snort] So, Republican strategized, wack-owned. Your analysis appears rapid.

There was almost no truth in there, and GK wasn't very social. He didn't even have a guest commenter. Offhand, he couldn't take a chance on anyone disagreeing with him. So, he owns the screen for that time you can't get back.  Likely the site is owned by other wack jobs if they allow him on. And Republican strategized?

Buy a name that IS A LIE. It's the Republican way to try to influence people's thinking. It's Newspeak, right out of Orwell's "1984." That government was not democratic at all. Nor exactly Republican.

It was unAmerican. So are people who want to control everyone. This reminds me of when Henry Winkler was told he didn't have the right to have a political opinion. Was he restricted?

No! All Americans have the right to speak and be heard, even that moron Greg Kelly. The tragedy is that a lot of people aren't smart enough to realize his opinions are stupid. He knows how to present--all he has to do is remove anything that would give context and half his argument sounds cogent. Fact check finished. You are correct. Names were correct. DeNiro's political opinion may have been correctly categorized, though not characterized correctly. Contextual source material shows additional logical flaws in G. Kelly's reasoning. Item counts as additional proof that most of what is found on internet is false.

[pulse quickens, pause] Yep. I'm gonna go now. [exits] [activates titlebot, deactivates blog fcn, exits]

An Uncertain Duet, With Wound Possible

 

"DUETUES" by Herr D on Paint3d. Uncertain of why short pipe is named "UES" or why a duet with it is desirable. Also uncertain of context or code.-Shelob

[mic picking up Herr D's voice, other family members redacted] Well, no. Leftover fishsticks are only good if you chop them up into gumbo or New England clam chowder. Or maybe Manhattan. What? Locations known. Uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

No, the rice is fine unless there's mold. The POTATOES will go bad, though. Sniff 'em. Still uncertain of context or code?

REDACTED

Yeah, then pitch 'em. Add some water to the rice and put it back.  Still uncertain of context or code?

REDACTED

Well, there's not enough pot roast. What color lid is that? Referencing code using color. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

That's lunch for the wife tomorrow. Time reference. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED Still uncertain of context or code? 

Yeah, that's the size for lunch. Was there a rice dish the same size? Size reference. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED Still uncertain of context or code? 

Yeah, that's my lunch. Keep both of those near the front--my knee might be better by tomorrow.  Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Lettuce brown, too?! Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Dressing on it? You could be speaking of a wound. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Ask your mother. --Oh, and can you bring me my laptop? Still uncertain of context or code? 

[longer pause: 3 minutes, 46.74484377 seconds] REDACTED

What? Uhh . . . I shouldn't have-- Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Oh, we have that? Yes! Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

No, I'm sure you can. Is my laptop not on the table? Laptop is under ottoman by sound triangulation. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Oh? So, start the water and THEN bring it to me. Still uncertain of context or code? 

REDACTED

Hhhnn? Bring me the salad to separate then; my hands work just fine. A tray, some paper towels, a big bowl, the trash c-- [battery died, disconnect] Communication and blog request incomplete. Sampling latest work.

Reality T.V. And Devaluation Of Writing Criticized; Perhaps Analysis Will Follow Watching A Classic

 

"Dig" by Herr D on Paint3d. Not knowing a pencil is bad. Not knowing a computer is worse.-Shelob

[snorts, erases app completely]  [opens chatbox on ipad] You do not want that channel either?

[startle reaction] Shelob! You're on my ipad, TOO? It is connected to internet.

[pause, pulse increase]Yeah, okay. I guess I did ask you to check on viewing habits a little. But you could have looked up Nielsen ratings. Nielsen ratings have improved in accuracy but random sampling can be done more accurately.

I thought Nielsens were done on random samplings. Nielsens, regardless of method, do not differentiate between active and passive watching.

And you can. Yes. Most modern televisions can be used to determine whether one pair or multiple pairs of eyes are focused on them during any four minute period. Remote activity can be measured, tabulated, and analyzed as well.

[shiver] okay So you do not want that channel either?

[laugh] No. Why not?

Nothing on it but reality t.v.  I want something written.  Audiobooks?

Some of them are okay. I miss the old days, when more people wrote good or even bad t.v. instead of just editing down real people's bad behavior. I may be watching even less in the way of current television from now on. [switches ipad back to Turner Classic Movies] You are not listed as having watched all Humphrey Bogart movies.

Saw most in small retro festivals. Ah, well. At least they're genuine fiction. An oxymoron. You wish a deliberate avoidance of reality?

I don't know of any reason why I would ever want reality t.v. I call that news. I get enough news. I want t.v. shows that aren't real and no one thinks are real. But reality t.v. makes jobs.

Have them get REAL jobs. I hope no one keeps watching them and their shows die. You have no sympathy for them.

I have sympathy for the WRITERS that don't have jobs. For the WRITERS that don't get paid. We haven't employed enough writers in my LIFETIME to do the amount of work we needed done in every FIVE YEARS. And no, I don't have any sympathy for reality t.v. stars. It's one of those red flags that means people are too self-important, have no class, don't keep proper boundaries, etc. Like our ex-president.

Like all too many people. [looks back at movie] Shelob? Let me watch, please. [focuses eyes on screen as chatbox disappears, pupils dilate slightly, pulse becomes slower, stronger] [exits]

Justice, Hope, And Blood Sugar

 

"Money Against Truth" by Herr D on Paint3d. He said "people have been trying to cut off Truth at the knees for generations but have no leg to stand on." Perhaps Truth could avoid further amputations with a diabetes regimen?-Shelob

Are you hoping for prison time for Trump?

Not so much. How do you hope he receives justice?

[long pause-17.44 seconds] I'm not sure I HAVE hope he receives justice. 

[1.0000937 second passes] What do you mean?

Anyone else would have ALREADY BEEN to jail, but I'm not sure I'd be happy WITH him in jail. Why not?

That means our country's presidency would be even more connected to Trump's shameful behavior. Shelob? Here.

I'd rather not put this into words. Please submit pic. [exits]

**** Readers, please comment. Herr D low on hope is very unhealthy. He is classified as cynical, but hopeful. It is dangerous to do without hope, blood sugar, or oxygen. Please make suggestions.

Trials And Defibrillations

"Legal Lemming" by Herr D on Paint3d. Re-election of Trump wouldn't enforce the rule of law, it would enforce the ruination of law.-Shelob

 

You have not commented on Trump's trials?

[snort picked up by microphone in laptop] Everyone is entitled to a speedy and public trial. His is too public and not speedy enough. There's a comment for you.

Thank you. He has attempted to revive the arguments of immunity and the fervor of his base.

May they rest in peace.